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Beautiful this is...
behind your time,
you walk alone
...dont you?
You have also been listening
to the rarest sound,
the silent thunder
punching a chasm
through the trembling clouds
who pour the wraith like waves
10,000 times the weight of day
down past
the winding flights of space,
The staircase,
of midheaven;
bearing down
In sight only,
before those who see.
Not only are they "awake"
But "watching" waiting, without liberty.
Yet free from themselves;
oh ' the counted few
The few, that will watch the dark swallow time...
they have watched the flights
of tumbling word equations
whispered in the longing eve
of a lovers dream
of some pastimes lovers touch,
taste, ways, words, or walk ,....
whilst yet you lay beside them...
dying each night while watching the 4 gate
of nimbus,
fighting the innumerable demons emcamped just outside of that lying false lovers mind,
Thus, a poets purpose.
To eat and drink of sun and moon,
Of the seasons to taste the lattices,
And ***** the vortices,
buta poet must then at some point lock themselves away inside the dark heart of days and of the worlds,
Eat the pain, drink the putrid tears of selfish gain, the lying lot of us all!
Tear out your heart!
all ye, who would be poets-
Peel away the crown of your days
Cast it against what you forgot was a
not the wall crossing the yard but the world they built for you
while you were in the world,
Casting you against
the unending glass walls of days.
Then, watching from
far too far away
Like star...
as the light in all of the worlds
  is dimming
And memories drip down
Realities wall into the everlasting
Flame of minutes.
If you are listening,
you should know by now what i am saying, your heart should be in full vibration
and your skin turned inside out
as the ageless flames reveal your soul,
Rage resoundingly!
writing your
voices across the wall tell it to the
Dark! Cast light across the veil!
Let them see!
Rip out your eyes pour them too,
Down, down into the page!
Write the raging world
With blood and flames!
before the last day drips
Out of sight
down past the bottom of this abyss of days.
Ilion gray Mar 8
keep listening.
For, by now you can hear my voice.
And I am with you,
here beside you
watching the raging years,
I have come to sit with you
from a world that was not in a time yet,
And then a time came,
and the world was yet Unfound,
Yet , there I was
still in that world
Then, without thought
And, without time,
I am here.
Sitting beside you,
In the night of your light,
Yet, I am in the day of your darkness.
Listen, I will tell you now
While you are in this world
take care.
And when you are translating the universes,
Do not be clever with your words,
Only record what you see,
For, the One true creator;
you must not forge.
Jehovah listens to every word
as it returns from
The gift that was given.
Yes, even as you think them,
For, it is he
who moves you to write them down.
So,take care.
For, once written
you have breathed life into breathless
words, that were dead.
Thus if they were unfound,
you have inscribed
those breathless words,
with such weak weight
Across the infinite skin,
of the most high.
Be weary,
that your words, are not words born only,  to disappear.
Foolish words, that you would be giving
An already empty world
Who is starving for life,
good solid bread of the truth,
Yet, you fill them with untrustworthy air
Taking life, never giving breath nor does it give forth water,
You must not feed the child hollow loaves,
without filling,
without life,
and you gave the sky despair,
With the material world,
sustenance only to the belly, they want.

Weep then.

Because, I know the gift God gave you.
he once gave me a gift,
and just beyond Brooklyn nights I saw his eyes and I abandoned and ran from God.
And much to my surprise,
How mercilessly He pursued me,
I could not escape, 
he was like a holy most ancient Lion as he was chasing me,
The glare of his ferocious eye set my body aflame,
Until I was swallowed up, and I became wild fire
And the days of my nights,
filled my mind; all night.
I could no longer reason,
my own ***** darkness, of a dark.
My heart has expired,
my body, will die next.
And as I fled my soul spilled through my face.
Out into the cup of wandering face robber,
Who snatching away lost sons,
Those belonging to Jehovah
the ones who have lost sight through their days,
and are now
  meandering in the devil's forest,
emitting only dim
Dying light. .

Weep then.

As the silent one sacrifices my face,
before Jehovah God.
While God stopped pursuing,
And just watches as the silenced
chase me in my own kingdom,
and sacrifice me to the lifeless god ,
the one they have named time,
Who's name will soon be changed.
And yet, even that dead gods end is on the move
Toward is paper matche face.
If a poet remains quiet enough,
That One can listen be the hearing of impaired ears that have lost the keys to the their deadlocks.
The can see through blind eyes.

For I have no eyes, unless you have sight.

Please remove all three of your minds,
And run away, hurry!
do it quickly, I have already left,
and thus, i will live a little while longer.
But from here, I will tell you,
they heard, what I was listening to,
They heard it, the roars of the myriads
of ages and voices all of which I captured and deciphered
With the hunger of the wildfire I was given,
  i returned them all, behind the cage so that they would not melt the minds of the world, not while IlionAzule
my son, my beloved,  whom I have loved most is yet,
inside of its belly.

Weep, no more!

And listen,
to all you who are the gifts given in words, given the gift of words unheard, who are giving gifts in words listen!
Say nothing that is wicked, nor anything false, Nor anything hurtful say,  but willfully walk with patience up the onto cliffs that make your heart meander.
Because, you must not stop asking these questions,
Mankind calls poems.
Even if you live in night terrors at noonday,
Alone in your darkened room,
soaked with sadness, drugs, and doom.
Know this,  your words about the most holy ancient of days;
you must take care not to mis-measure
the immeasurable depth of that ones name.
Do not give it any number,
For it is innumerable
And its height is not height,
Nor is its depth a depth;
God is not the universe,
It is only one of his many thoughts.
He to belongs
no time and place;
For, to that one
These things
Are less, than dust.
He is only one.
The true God.
So be wise,
Please, and be weary.
Every cursed word you write
will blaze like fires and devour worlds.
Be wise.
And, seek the true God Jehovah

Do it now!
While, there are still many days,
in front of you.
Ilion gray Mar 3
oh poor heart, did you not know,
that you who are poets are only the straws
dangling from the stars, in order that
the world may drink from the worlds that are closer to heaven.
Mar 3 · 148
sentinel wave theory
Ilion gray Mar 3
Everyday I speak with those who Have not been,
Nor are they here, and will never be again.
And yet, they are more real to me than the sea, earth and air,
And wind.
Ilion gray Mar 2
That night,
Jehovah the Almighty,
the god of armies,
who rescues
those belonging to him,
heard your soul is screaming for relief from the world. so he poured  down the gift
Of seeing and hearing pass the painted gates
of false realities down into rain.
The almighty felt compassion
and sympathized
with you knowing well,
How, mankind would create numbers,
and time; in an attempt to hold the weight of their loss,
as they descended from perfection,
all they would create, all of these things
are lost,
things, and people by people,
heart, body, skin, all these are dead or dying,
all which we create flee from us; or we from them...
and yet,
The soul remains, where only its maker can find him. 
I have read the lost words stains across time that deny the hands that gave them life,
and some of these, have called themselves poets.
However, if the things I have said your ears do not hold,
you are not a poet.
You are just a watcher
replicating the ghostly dead shadow,
true beauty of the now, bodiless poet.
Still, this is also the truth.
Perhaps you are in a love' with a poet.
Or they have loved you,
When you should not have been loved,
And, you yourself,
did not love them in truth;
Please, Give pause to your stellar tide  of suffocating emotion,
raging, on and on about your own heaven"
Be wise, all of you...
That you do not destroy
The wanting heart that has loved you...
When you should not have been loved,
do not become hasty,
If you believe that you must go,
Before the day of departing,
do not agitate the air for a day, then
with no provocation,
stare through their ***** body whilst they Ly there in the night,
Scouting the world of your dreams in a panic because they cannot find you, not knowing that unlike them, you have to awaken;
for every night while you are asleep,
The poet searches the darkness in your dreams,
For vengeful demons,
of lingering thoughts
of false things that darker demons
sprinkle down to defile the free
water of truth God gives in the rain.
Do not forget that their god,
has been given the authority of the air,
for now, how that one's only wish
is to **** love,
be wary,
for although they
are empty,
as the air that owns them,
they are wearing human faces, in your dreams,
With eyes earth has never seen,
No mind has ever measured;
Only the poets can see through this painted reality.
Yes, that one who has loved you achingly,
through tides,
Of time, and tears, sprinkle of joy.
All of which you will take once you go,
yet his is the only soul
Who stands up to die for you,
every time
The silenced break the shield
from the moons light,
descending on love,
And dreams,
only the poet rides out to meet them
Standing in defence,
at the edge of mid-heaven
Behind the great nimbus gate;
across decades nights abound that you
have yet to sleep and dream...
So please, just stop!
And,  just wait a little while longer,
Soon the Bodies in the poet will come out once they have called down to The soul,
who is a ***** to the body,
and yet who is master of a universe,
they will call him back out from the abysmal cliffs
a day with death was named,
so he escaped,
down into endless mist,
in order that he may write his translation,
Of what he felt while imprisoned,
In the body between two heavens of water and wind.
When they see your eyes, they will be inspired;
Because a human being tore through their skin,
Even, if you did not love them.
Instead of just watching them
As they decipher time,
and die,
In love with you deeply.
Right now,
for just a few hours,
or days, months,
or more
Whatever your heart and mind can spare...
Wait with them there,
just for a little while,
And those last of days that you know
are coming, and yet
they do not...
Do not be so bothered with the weight of their days,
They did not ask, to be wind.
They are often forgotten
before they have gone.
A heart Unseen, and yet;
somehow strong enough
To wash the world away.
Did you not know that they hold the weight
Of questions,
no one else can imagine asking,
And every day,
of their lives, they will die for the answer.
only to die, as a child;
with all of the answers,
Yet, none of the high from raging days.
You must know that when you have left
Their heart, do not leave it in pieces; laughing
Hysterically knowing,
how they disappear,
without your eyes to find them
in the constant ebb of earthly mornings,
How they haven't slept anything, 
more than an hour
In the past year, without the scarf
of your gentle goodnight,
and still,
they will their souls,
pass speed of light and sound, through
aeons, ageless,
through worlds
without time,
with their poet ears and
lovers eyes they will their souls
Into your dreams each night, unseen;
For he is a watcher in the sky behind your eyes
The keeper of mid heavens 4th nimbus gate, do not crush his spirit unwittingly while carving away his heart,
I implore you, take heed.
If you do this, love will not find you;
And your screaming soul,
will die without comfort,
The winter of your heart will only
Bring you even colder winds,
and your old, cold heart will freeze;
Even if you walk across the sun itself,
As you walk across
the fire of that emptiness,
The winter stone below your swallowed chest,
will not come undone.
So listen and please; Take heed,
all you who love the poet,
Take heed please,
that you do not **** 
Your poets love,
For, if ever you love a poet
You must know,
how their soul wains away,
tired with doubt,
Scarcely surviving this reality,
That, they
Cannot believe,
no matter what;
Even as the hours,
subtly peel away
Strands of skin while in the pit
Of night they battle back the demons
Of the helpless lovers weeping,
while their beloveds
Leaving has left open all the gates and doors that
That once held back the godless demons,
Who wait outside the windows of every lover
Heart and mind,
to tear apart,
those left behind.
Pouring bitter flames down their open ears
While they dream,
Shifting dreams of their faithless beloved.
thus, the true poet's burden,
such noumenon occur,
deciphering the disappearing words wafting
Without time nor place
That only a few thousand others every 100 years
Have seen,
There is no glory in poetry.
One cannot pretend,
you will know when you can't escape.
Every poet dies from the weight
of their own words,
it is infinitely slow-slow murderous rain.
Jan 31 · 366
Ilion gray Jan 31
twisted rain and wind,
stained with sweat,
dripping innocence
thick as molasses
leaving your body
escaping through small compressed holes.
Rolling the Rails Then Dropping,
From the wretched  fingers
of the Rocks;
shaky hingeless stones
forced up out of earth,
Raised outside of the light;
You are the whiskey in this dream /
And I knew you would go;
Taking with you
The first of my only and my last,
whose heart was made from a third of both our hearts forged in the heavenward in the hands of the Tricaien rivers,
which pour out
from the heart of the 7th mountain,
where the compass disappears
along with the body,
long  before one can reach
the shore,
of the fathomless forest of stars,
between space, and the firmament gates.
So, it is there;
that I must go.
And, I will appease the keeper
To grant a declaration of clarity,
A citation of the days,
And a document of permission
To engage.
The war is of the wise;
'Neath sky's behind eyes this war be waged.
For few,

Few, will hear the crippling roar of infinite voices
In an instant ripping apart all barriers
Devouring laws eating theories of physics,
if these were heard or thoughts beheld
All the earth worlds would burn themselves
From the inside out...
Back into existence-
The few, who listen,
As if hearing were breathing,
As if silence, was being
Some of what you hear,
must never again be heard,
Nor written,
It must not be secret,
Nor be hidden.
For it is not alive
Yet has seen the
Unnumbered dying
bodies in waves
Ebb across the
Sea of empty darkness
On this spinning prison of heartless
And unholy ones,
Tossed about the bottomless sea
Neath the storm of worlds  

At the end of this world;

That we have lost.
Ilion gray Dec 2018
There is something to be said about sadness-
there are levels-
these two words:

"Divine - Sorrow"

when I first met the Almighty,
I had already been a child for years;
I survived,
then I fell asleep.

I never woke up again.

I can see that you are confused..

If so,
May I suggest that you,
listen from the room
behind your eyes.
The one with no door,
Lay down,
With your back,
and head
on the bed;
But, leave your feet
on the floor.

There, on the ceiling in your head,
Painted from corner to corner
is a very cold small planetary garden,

Go there, and wait for me.

if you are reading these words,
I am already in the stomach of death;
Only the soul of my breath is here still,
Awaiting digestion.

I know a physician specializing
In didacticism,
I would suggest
that you not call him;
until morning.

When I have left the body.

However, tonight sleep in a fetal position.

Because I love you.
Because, you are very much meant to love and be loved.

something for the weaknesses
Is perfection.

the doctors,
have reasonable logical analysis,
maybe some other theories, about my condition.
They will tell you -
that i have mental disorders -
That my past drug addictions
made it easier for my sickness
to manifest-

They will tell you, "like anyone else ...
Your father is dying he needs help;"
And I know you'll be laughing inside
and I'll be smiling
walking through
woods behind my eyes,
Conversing with
trees and wind,
Sitting with the golden orb-weaver,
he tells me the names of the
Stars; I never ask him for his source,
For he weaves replicas of
The universe, while the world sleeps,
Then, as I walk a little further,
four-spotted palpitas
Flicker in the light of the
Many moons
of my minds-sky,
Every one of them,
The trees,
The wind,
The spider,
The moth,
All the moons...

Everyone of them speak to me with the voice of my father.

I am here most of days
Emptying my eyes,
Pouring myself out
Over the long bent grass
Of his words..


Here I am again,
In the doctor's office lobby,

It's cold,...
                 I put my hands in the
front pockets
of my jacket.
And, there in the pocket
I find a empty pill bottle,
(written in the fine print on the prescription label)

A little side note they send my soul,
regarding death;
before calling my name
in the waiting room,
It said,

" if you want to stay awake
Flush one pill down the toilet
A day"

Yes....there is work
yet to be done, and
I am not just the skin,
wrapped in thick blood,
running down
The throat
Of dry..dry veins
gurgle me down
Into, the stomach of death.

The lobby,
smells like blended
plastic machines burning,
tired lives;
expiring slowly.

I sit here,
waiting to be called,
The minutes are empty
from 1 to 60

There is nothing there...

Staring at dusty picture frames dangling from clinging nails,
Barely holding their place
On the wall
But they are only dusty, 
 plastic and glass...
and nothing else in here
Is where it used to be,
nothing is where I put it;
Unless I hid it from myself...
There is no-thing here,
I have lost my moons...
My elements
incomplete in unrest.
You and You.
Are a
thousand million
light years
I miss your gravitational waves and the wind that was yours when
You danced like a dervish
Across the edge of the walls of
I was slipping in and out of space
And again 0001 00 100 00...

When you left...
Why did you take all of your
I miss
peering into your worlds;
I long for you both...
Savagely, in whispering rain,
In blood,
with veins of wild fires.
Dec 2018 · 3.1k
How to dissipate
Ilion gray Dec 2018
While staring into the heavens,
A vast storm came
Tearing into the atmosphere,
out from the wild darkness.

While listening,
to the silenced;
I heard rumors
of a mega galactic cloud.
A star maker;
unknown elements
with moonless planets
In her eternal belly.

  Here I was,
Too Weak
to break
the skin of space...
Traveling adrift,
Where the presence of chasmic cliffs,
bring comfort
from the sight
Of the great cloud,
eating planets in the dark.

Suddenly, I heard a sound
Like myriads of thunderstorms
being held prisoner
By the never ending cloud,
The resonance of which,
ripped the page of days apart--

Everything empty down
into the trembling earth
And all of the
light escaped the dark...

I stopped existing..
I couldn't hear anything;
not even,
the quiet vibration
of my own voice in my head
every second,
Achingly expiring at birth;
of the beaten silence.

Woe, to the chaos of my eyes,
They see
Every time
I forgot my name.
A name that was,
whispered by raindrops,
And written in my blood.



I heard the silenced,

I have learned,
Why, darkness first hated the light
and challenged its power.
How, the stars
that you and I can see,
are the lowliest luminaries;
they have fallen
So far down,
too far from heaven, now.

How, when galaxies
  consume the stars
that the almighty named;
they are erased,
from everything;
throughout all of the immensity!"


I waited for the
Ageless clouds.
And, though I knew
That once a raindrop whispers
A name,
never again would it fall
from the lips of a storm.
I am listening,
I know I
Won't understand the
languages of the names
Still I listen
without my eyes;
Listening for the sound
Of the ancient wild fire
At the bottom of an unfounded sea;
Ablaze, climbing
The staircase
Of the sea,
The roar of it's furious limbs  
shattering the soaked ceiling---

This is the image of
Words, and names descending...
Still I must listen...
When I hear the vibration
Like lightning strikes,
Across a cellos strings
in mid-heaven;
 an adagio,
Composed by angels...
the augmented chord
kept secret
through the valleys
Of years.

  I will search,
for the almighty,
Into the
wild world enraged
I will only speak as the silenced do,
In the tongues of clouds
Yet, the words carry the weight
Of worlds,

I will go.
When I find
Someone who is
Weary, who is beaten down
And *****,
And yet...
He is awake-
or if while traveling
with a thunderstorm
through a city
And there among the busy streets,
I find anyone standing moveless,
Where Heavy feet rush to escape the rain,
Their eyes shut,
Just waiting,
patiently In the rain-

I will tell them;

Why this world
is not their home.

I will show them,
how to hear..and-
Most importantly-
How to listen,
to the words of the rain,
That whispers.

And once
they learn to listen
they will hear,
their names;
They will remember everything,
All that mankind has forgotten.
And, then...
                           I will wait,
the withering.
the unending night
my heart humbled,
imploring the almighty,
To name me again,
The name that I forgot;

And plead with him
to succor me,
So that
without fear;
I may
make a stand,
For the truth
Bearing it's light
through dark wars,
and my struggle,
With the sons of the night;
            these days,
at the very edge of days,

On the eve of,
The war that finishes
all things-

That is not ours to wage,

That day the riders from the heavens
Will eat up the sky,
And the black blood
Will rain;
from the deepest
white clouds.
Dec 2018 · 2.3k
Sweep it up...
Ilion gray Dec 2018
Sweep it up,
All that is in pieces
And do not watch the hours,
our eyes have seen
What we do not remember,
And if you pause for
too long,
The eyes unexcited,
will turn
and search the universe behind him,
Dragging you in and out of dreams,
Where the darkened stars dim the night of your mind,
And While you sleep
The world, is on fire;
the hours warp
and stretch from
The intense heat;
They take the shape
Of memories ,
Like blown glass ornaments,
Softly rising toward the
When they collide,
They burst,
And shatter Against the floor;

   dust of remembrances,
and shards of time in piles
throughout the house.
I should
sweep it up.
I just
Lay down,
my skin pressed against,
what was left of us...

I wish you were here,
You would stand me up/

You would dig the seconds
out of my skin;
                          That burn.
Nov 2018 · 3.1k
Cancerous stardust
Ilion gray Nov 2018
When we fall,
We are not raindrops,
We are the dust of stars,
The puddles we make destroy
The concrete,
And, god does not hear the sound
Of our bones crashing-

Though I knew
you would never be home again,
I knocked on your door for hours/


Was there,
In the stair well  


you were gone.
          Three days ago,
I watched
men in black Suits,
lower the expired shell you wore,

down into The parts of earth that never age,


I've been calling for days,

      The phone rings-
and rings...

no angel,
has answered.

I imagine
that you are dancing,
Along some coastline eons away,
In a galaxy where
words like,

And Cancer
Were never spoken-
Where the killers aren't pills,
Because prescriptions are  scarcely  written/
And the Hours  Of delirium,
Can not Wash away clusters of days.

The tragedy of forgetting,
patiently stalks
Memory in the quiet caves;
Where the secret pieces
of us
Are hidden.


I know what I remember,

Watching your eyes,
empty Their light across the cold ceiling,
into The bone white light
Above your hospital bed,
As if your sight,
had legs and feet,
you could escape into it,

         that's not what dying is like/

                          I knew you would leave me here/

With all the demons,
their devil fathers,
Their heavy,
*****, Sweating
calloused hands...

Dragging me
out of sight,
Through the raggedy barn doors
Of  aged alder wood
From rain and wind,
And Stained
As perspiring palms
innocence that is
And Creeping,
Thick as molasses,
Leaving your body
Escaping, through tiny
clenched openings.

Rolling over the ridges
Then dripping,
from trembling cliffs of fingertips;
Shaken loose at the hinges,

                                Outside of the light;
Down Into their whiskey dreams/

                      I knew you wouldn't say goodbye.

How,  when the worst wind came Roaring,
and cold-
How, You would just grow old...
                                                          ­                         And die.
Ilion gray Nov 2018
I will love you,

Until the heavens  
Of earth collapse,

I Will live for you, Never ending

you were formed
Above the firmament,
Before existence
You witnessed,

              All things,

My child, your mother is a mighty moon,

she can not be tethered,

Your father,

     I, Am the wild fire,
That's walks with rain.

were made between
And rock;
In the ****,
Of her mountains.
Just Below heaven.
On a night that
the density of light
set the clouds aflame,
And the sky,
could not be mapped,
And the stars,
Revealed their true names aloud,
in the hidden
The names God gave them.

Amid all of these things-

You were made-

         Drawn From Rivers
That carve
out of the earth,

And drip,

softening stone,

a creek
A forest floor-

It was here
That the almighty

forged Existence-

With His hands of wind...

you slept through many lives,

resting Until, the heat
escaped the fire.

Every night,
That summer
I listened
to the sound
of your
Body sleeping-

the silence.

Here I am,
a fire-
running wild
through the
sun burnt,
tall grass Of days-
Watching them Wither,
                   And crumble
To dust as they pass...

I, Could not make them- stop.

I, could not keep you.
now everything is a cage-
            here I am;

Without the immensity
Of your laughter
embracing My heart;                                                      
                                                                ­        I am un-done.

I've sat awake for months,
Replaced the  blinds with blankets,
These days,
it is the light;
that can not escape darkness,

each minute;
makes a feast of seconds,

The starving  hours,

Eating away Every minute.

             Here I am.

And the weight of
dreary day

devours everything.

I, am barely breathing.
Traveling,  through the world;
Wading through
unending hours.

The heat of your tiny
Being Wrapped, In gypsy golden
Hanging from my shoulders,
           Sliding   down
                          my back,
                                        Or resting across my stomach
Bringing me morning,
               The presence of your breathing--
                                                     ­                    I, am un-done

I curse the sun,
                I  reject its rays--
                           Always arriving,
And yet--
It Leaves
Before it comes.
                                     I am         un-done,
And I am never awake--

  I knew,
I would
Have to
              watch you go...

I knew How, 
   I would miss you.

when, the foreign moon
That wild fire needs something beautiful
to burn;
                    I watched her,
                  wrap you in wind;
Where stellar clouds
Begin, and end--

                                   And time

   swallowed us whole.
(For: Ilion, my son/From:Ilion the Gray, your father)
Ilion gray Oct 2018
The simple life of pillows,
Or clouds.
Both being of stellar variety.
the burning gasp of being saved,
everything goes eventually,
If  you leave the room
The space will be missing something;
When it is found,
A trillion Seconds you
thought you lost,
will catch up to you.
All things return
To their someplace;
Now all that is earthly
around me,
has begun to rustle
And wave,
There is no other planet to go
There is no farther away,
The machines are eating the child’s
The air is bleeding
It’s invisible hue,
The earth in search,
Desperate to borrow
pilfered from
Everything with an ending
The hour is coming,
You and I will seek
It to;
Just up that way
Then to the right,
Through the frozen fields
of nimbus Pass,
Just a horseshoe
toss from
the holy
Where nothing falls-
While the drifting spritzes-
Do not drip-
But climb.

The mountain staircase
Of night;

I will go.

Because the hour draws close;
And soon when the
Unending dusk grows,
No road will be empty.

Perhaps I will
Return to someplace,
That will only be a place
Once I’ve arrived,
Someplace as lost as all the rocks,
I’ll build a throne and observe
The might of the almighty,
The Strong roots of infinite
Shades of blackness-
Where all creation
Oct 2018 · 2.3k
This is earth
Ilion gray Oct 2018
Around here the days
Walk past slow;
I have only watched them
Do you hear the voices
Swimming the coffered channels
Of hours also?
Subtly clinging to waves
Which strive
Yet only
Come once
The same tide never rolls
I am roving about
Where silence answers
Fear, and moonlight
Answers night
You and I
Awaiting time
Wondering if it knows
We're here.
the air is still
An empty echo of expanse
Holding nothing;
rain falls from a
Cloudless sky;
soft as sparrow tears
Crashing down onto
Binary lovers
Melting them to earth
Into a puddle of one another.
Sep 2018 · 4.6k
Sometimes, when it rains
Ilion gray Sep 2018
And I stare into the heavens
Without closing my eyes;
I see
Little wonders
dying diamonds
Skating across the frozen cirrus clouds
Just beyond cumulus nimbus mountains
High as the feet of angels.
I watched them delve into the dark
waltzing down through the Heavens
Only some will return.
The devil is resisting the
Light from the stars
He cloaks them beneath
The stars are infinite
Wild are their galaxies
The strength of their illumination
Does not know darkness
There are no constellations
the stars will laugh at you
To think they were only shining
For you
to dream
and wish upon
While Our great cities
blot them out
with chemical dust
And inescapable darkness
Moving at the speed of greed
Our kings
all blind
And heartless
Everyone who’s ever breathed
Counted breaths
Have Lived and died
on the back of
An angel
The day is coming
When only a few will be numbered
And not a human number
but a number
Of God
a sum shall break
the silent universe
Into infinite tiny diamonds
Each skating across
the wretched peaks
the  blackest waves
A never-ending abyss
Every time I go to 7-11 and get a large
Red Slurpee my brain freezes
and when it starts to slowly drip
I think like this
It’s unfathomable
what you find Sometimes
in the
of a dreamers mind
Ilion gray Sep 2018
I never learned to make light
and you left with the light that we created
even through all our darkness
I'm here
there's nothing here

Since you left

Carrying with you the fire that I helped to build

how can  a heart heal while it’s still being  killed

You weren't the only one who was alone
under all this sky

Staring at its immensity

Wondering if it's open
or empty

I'm ashamed of how selfish
humanity can be

Knowing how we theorize the death of our beloved sun
simply out of  envy of its eternal luster
knowing that we grow dark and empty and eventually die

How we leave the game early when our team is down and there’s not enough time to go back and win as if now In defeat, we would be wasting our lives to stay with them until the end

I no longer want to love you
because you left me there when the coldest winds came

You left Me there

Because even though I dried your tears

I couldn't stop the years

And I couldn't stop the rain
Ilion gray Sep 2018
I lie here

Beside you
The pores of our bodies

Like Tiny volcanos erupting

I would die
love you again;
Between walls made of marbles and hands,
and frying pans clanking,
Against cabinets,

there are Cracks in the tiled floors
where we tore our skin
Left tiny drops of us
in puddles from ice cubes
that tumbled  down into our
empty cup

Only god could rip
A star in two.
it’s funny

The way the kitchen killed

You and I;

Not the knives.

I would die in a world where people

Are more like cannon *****

And plastic faces are invading

Yesterday I discovered that the earth really is flat

All the ice melted and we were lost in the roar of Waves rushing
sliding to the edge

You squeezed  my hand
and you whispered "close your Eyes"

Your tiny fingers outweighed
the ocean

And I happily died knowing,

I Lived!

I lived Where Angels have not tread for
10,000 years

My lips touched your skin

And there will never be words to say

What I have felt

But that your smile

Eats Time
Now that I have loved you
I am a child,

Exploring the Shores,

Of secret oceans
on a planet in a galaxy at
the most ancient end of infinity

Where the light drips
Quietly from

The dark
Ilion gray Sep 2018
While we were lying in my living room

***** on the blue couch, listening to lightning attack
The stellar clouds
I learned,

how the hearts of men are only a piece of space
clutched by skin,
wading through darkness.

I Delve into time
and I watch, and
wonder, though I knew
that it would end,

Why I  couldn’t stop
loving you
will haunt everything you left in the house,

till nothing is forgotten.
Ilion gray Sep 2018
I don’t want to be a ghost in the dark
Spaces of your universe
where there was never any light;
A chasm teeming with loveless
Vengeful demons,
nothing returns;
I don't belong there.....

I don’t want to haunt you

Nor do I want you to haunt me;

Lest we be buried side by side
Beneath a 60 year old willow tree
That rises instead of weeps
It's leaves reaching
For falling rain
Just as I have stood
In the throat of the storm
For your words
But the silence
Is black
As the outskirts of
Where no-thing
Begins or ends
I am adrift
And I will drift
At the will of the stars
Across the ageless seas
Of essence
I will not let the water
Touch me
that each
Drip of the infinite deep
Is a number
Only God knows
Look! I saw
Unknown waves
Rise above the tide
And swallow the clouds

   I am
                  A  Phantom

I have excavated the apartment
for  every
Scent of you;
I use yours and our sons
clothes for sheets
I would never sleep.
I would die
In this loveless house.
      I would live,
only if I could
stay quietly beside
your two souls;

listening to the language
your body


I would only hold you

while you sleep;

I would never wake up

I will refuse to breathe;
Dying before you leave…
To live eternally in that dream..
I no longer want to be a

Only  a “being”

Being human
comes with too many amendments
and clauses

Too many excuses written in our dna

I do not remember when I came.

Humans only live once..

A being,
can begin again..

So tonight
til time indefinite,

I am nameless...

Until you name me,

You can only name me ,
If you lift me

I will die nameless

Until you miss me
Sep 2018 · 9.7k
Time has passed but...
Ilion gray Sep 2018
I remember

The way it was.

One June afternoon
everything in the universe broke.

I was walking down Bushwick ave.
into the hungry concrete;
a Brooklyn Bound L train
slicing through

myriads of strident rushing
town cars drifting
Over the streets
Of the patchwork

I turned left down our old block
Madison ave.
nothing could prepare me
for the silent
minutes that suffocate
everything breathing

There would be no sound
in the apartment tonight.

No other souls
wrapped in wanting skin.
In my life,
I loved you savagely...

I'm going to be alone

the concrete has expanded since you left,

The blocks are longer than last summer;

The hours just pass.

what it took to get to the front door
From the corner
in fear of entering our house
After I've lost you.
I come home
where all these memories are stains;

Black streaks left by
Murdered cigarettes.

******* trash bags
full of empty Scotch whiskey bottles;

With Guts,
Blood teeth and pounds of skin
miles of empty dry veins;
Like a river
that God fell into,
these waves of days

Sometimes I wish
I'd never felt the Sun;
its fingers burning my skin.

I will burn
from every memory of you.

The total emptiness of this space
where love was put to rest;

The emptiness just stares.

Stealing seconds from shallow pockets of years,
Stealing years,

From this shallow pocket

Of life
Sep 2018 · 4.6k
I often reason...
Ilion gray Sep 2018
We are all time travelers,

Being that time is but a word,

It describes movement through space,

We are not always moving forward...

Sometimes we go right, left or behind

Convinced however that we are moving on

We try to forget

Yet the snapshot of each moment is


Always right there

on the same plane as the present

I let my thoughts fall

marbles to the floor

All of which roll

and gather in the corner

I have watched this scene

every day since you left...

each second of a decade

like a tiny photograph

Painted across

yellow white walls.

The colors dripping down

Running out to escape

An eternity in This east New York

first-floor apartment,

Where not a day has passed since we met,

Since I thought the devil owned the world,

and God heartbroken...

Had left...

I was wrong

God is still here...

The devil still owns the world...

Only you

Have gone
Ilion gray Sep 2018
The song of celestial property in the attic,

will burn The ceiling down,

in your head,

where the clouds,
and little shining fireballs,
waft wildly/

you shouldn't see such things,

when you can’t stay awake,

you're asleep.

I sleep,

because I don't want to stay awake.
Only people who have vision,
can be blind.
I'm, afraid of my heart,
What spilled down,
from a mostly cloudy mind,

Where angels hands wash the feet of god.
I'm here,

because I haven't died yet.
You're here,

because God woke you up.

A day will come,

There will be a choice,
To live...
A life,
worst than death,
Be free of the empty years,
that wait...
Just to watch,
the fools
run to the lips of the sea,

They will lie,  

To live...

Make Believing that they are searching for heaven,

                                                   It can not be found.
Not by mankind,
Because they would paint it black,
With their dark,

                         Who, will you pray through?
Now there is no language,
and the rain has poured without ending,
Though there are no clouds,
And the sun,
devours the moon-
And cast the Crushed corpse

                   The cliffs of California,
are burning,

They rage, swallowing
Ancient trees-

The Falcons nest is on fire,


The Anger of the earth
Trembles, through mountains in the South,

the Universe will be quiet,
And the song from the sea
will cry for war,

that day/

Not the sun,

Nor the storm,

angels hands
will break the sky,
And take the shores!
Ilion gray Aug 2018
There are thoughts... they
are caught in small blocks of ice and
hang from tiny miniature steel hooks in my brain,
Hanging metallic,
slipping from here to there
end to end
they have begun to melt,
And drip effortlessly,

dripping on my shoulder..

I am a ***** to emptiness just like you,
I am a Captive...
To every hour that makes me older.
Aug 2018 · 6.1k
photoelectric effect
Ilion gray Aug 2018
Who are you?
There was a shaking of the universe
Out from the ***** space
Fell everything dark
Down from the branch’s of heavens
Fell everything empty

Only one,
could name all of the
Dripping drops
That fell,
Every sort
Of stellar cloud
That day,

              The devil is a graviton,

He is inside of the air,
He is the whispering sound
That runs away to escape
the wind,
Then cowers and creeps,
Behind it.

The wind,
comes and goes at the will
Of god,

The devil is always there...

Shut up your ears,
And cover your eyes,
Say nothing,
And breathe quietly

                For, the devil is a graviton
And you are standing deep inside
his palm,
The sunken shadows shaking
Are his ancient fingertips
His swollen knuckles aching
too weak to close his wicked fist,
Yet crumbling his cursed fingers come,
You must not wait any longer,
You must not fear,
Go out toward the crashing pieces of
The devils broken hand,
There where the ground is breaking
Where the living trees
and great grass fields that sway
Are eaten up
By relentless waves
Of vengeful flames as if
The Angel of God’s anger

Stood out, on the edge of the land

The strength of its wings
Ripping time
From space,
The presence of its being,
Like a lightning storm
Setting the spinning earth on fire,
And everything else was devoured
By oceans,
as if only for this day,
leviathan was starved for aeons
Yet his stomach never shrunk
And the wrathful waves
The teeth of the beast
Will eat you up.

              The devil is a graviton,

Run out toward the battle as the devil
Sends his sons to silence you
Into darkness  
Let your works reflect the
Light of the kingdom and
The glory of the  
True god!
And you shall have no fear!
For Jehovah your god,
Does not know fear!
Run out as the hand of the Devil
Collides with everything,

And if you die while reflecting
The last ray of light
As the sun is setting on
Life’s last day....
Then at that very moment..
You will never die again!
This is what Jehovah
Of Armies is giving,

A choice
To die, or live

A life,
Without ending!

Inspired by Jeremiah 21.

And Jeremiah 22:2
read Jeremiah 21,. and Jeremiah 22:29
Aug 2018 · 33.8k
And the days kept dripping
Ilion gray Aug 2018
The people
Are going anywhere
where they will wait,
Where the aluminum tops of pop
Bottles crash to earth
Releasing one last
A kind of
Musical note...
A single sound through the corridors
Of order-
Watching the wind tease the trees/
Like the fastest boy
On the block,
Subtly walking
Over scattered grey
loose gravel
In the parking lot
Of the park,
Running his
Tiny ***** fingers,
The other boys heads
Dusty and
Filthy with earth and
Blood black and  smoldering
Beneath a ceiling of skin,
Every pore
Like a window
Waiting for the
One who knows,
To pass by,
All of them
Believing they
Were chosen.

I watch the wind tease the leaves of trees-
Just this way,
At play,
To the price of days,
Each one,
Their own.
Yet, both
The tree
And the child
Are Subtly dying,
Whilst also
Closer to the
The sky,
Those ageless eyes
their tiny fingers
stretched high
Reaching beneath
The ribs of wind,
the deepest end
Of the Seas of mid-heaven,
Into the sacred
Waves of secrets
God taught his only
Son to swim.

I also watched,
as the wind teased
The trees that held the leaves-
Each decaying
As they rise
They bend forward like,
golden fields of days
Like sun-beaten blades of grass,
Their giant broken bodies
Like stones
So still,
That at times,
unfortunate seconds
Drifting past
Too long
In the sadness,
Then crash
In the silence.

If you ask some of the
They will say
"We are going everywhere,
And yet we have found nothing-
While we wait-"

I have watched the wind tease
All that I can hold in my eyes,
Where there is life everlasting-
Left after
the years wrapped it's hands
Around my neck squeezing
Till my skin began
To die and wither,
Like a brown trout
Tired, and weary
Floating way too
Close to the bank
As the edge of March,
Eat the last days of winter,
Now the evenings
Fall like ash,
Slowly arriving,
covering my shoulder.
The long night has just begun
Solemn and Subtle, sewn with
And hours
Of days that dripping
Never fill,
Arriving always
at the coldest hour
From the woods
That none
Can enter,
Lest you have reinforced your thoughts
With stolen rays of sunshine
Lest you have mapped
Constellations in the
Shattered glass  
From the broken
Windows of your eyes
Ilion gray Jul 2018
I hope you're there the day the rain falls down from earth to sky
and I hope you remember
that night we watched the ocean dance with the wind
and I explained
How the  waves
make love to the leaves
while they're
still holding the trees hands
You told me how
You counted
Raindrops dripping
On the wood
behind the window
The Wild
Of your childhood-
I fell in love
with the rain, with
You that night.

When I was a boy
I thought that I
Held all things-

                                        I did not.

Now that I am a man
  I know
How at times instantaneous...
mountains can rise
between a woman
And a man
That eclipse the sun
Yet sets fire to the sand!
Ilion gray Jul 2018
If the endless invoked me
I would leave these days
Without me
the solidarity of hidden deserts
Under unfounded skies
Will still be resting;
If I remain
Amidst the swaying morning
by earth
Inside your space
my hands
Dark as shadows cast
From holes burned
through walls
behind heaven
Eons dripping
billions all at once
Trying to keep every drop of you
In my hands
But you are a quasar
Even breaking atoms
collapsing everything
And lowering yourself
back to earth
inches equal aeons
Here in this place
Where no one ever goes
I watch the universe
In my palm
I witness
the strength of megallactic clouds
I am alive
Because I
snatched only the essence of the galaxies
your skin is perfect
You having been born of tears
Of the endless face of God
Racing back
Down through
Darkness' unnamed
And unnumbered
Rushing down
Leaving every empty space
Stained with the fingers of your
Flames while you
escape heaven
I will reinforce
Every constellation
Else the ether
could never hold you
for a moment
Your skin was placed
superbly over
and flesh
Veins endless
And all the tender entrails
in its time
Sat suspended
Remember my love Forget
all other things
But this
When your Hours finish
It wont be day
nor December
There won't be rain
And stars will not descend
From the space from which you came
you woke up in childhood
You have learned to dream in mirage of minutes
Be Silent in the shaken shadows
Of hours
just once you were called by the finite
But do not be afraid
My love
Because the caverns of my heart
were forged in the thickest charms
In darkness
In the unchanged
Spaces of gods thought
I'll tell you now
Spill everything
from your fury down
inside me
Because my emptiness can not be filled
when there was a real light
in the days of the day
I sat with the wicked
In kingdoms where light can not pass
In repentance

I will save a calm battle
Until every atomie of my skin has perished
I will rage against the black angels
In the clouds Behind your eyes
Until the ice
Until innocence
When they lay you in the empty space
soon you will be the bones
and the flesh unexcited
The unexpected veins of the earthstar
Your scent goes away from the moon
Your breath on my skin is gravity only you could be born once
as a single kind of dust
drifting with Silence
violently Bubbling
and Spinning-Recklessly
Jul 2018 · 8.1k
When Uriel descended-
Ilion gray Jul 2018
The sun has come up-
We are scarcely draped
In sheets and skin,
shadows and sweat thrown
Through cracked
crooked wooden blinds,
Uriel was
pouring sunshine into the
openings of our
broken shutters at dusk..
I could hear your blood rise-
As a comets inner crust,
Raging down
From heaven
Restlessly escaping
Like a drunken scotch devil-
Searching for treasure
With the bottle as his shovel.
I could hear your pores erupting
Through tiny chasms of
Your skin,
I want you to know-
I love you
Knowing now,
I have witnessed you,
Are born
Not falling,
How they crawl down
The stomach of clouds,
Then dive into the stone,
The impact resonates
through everything/
Shaking silence from
The shingles of caves
Lodged deep
In the outstretched fingers of
Beneath floating valleys
that are holy,
And secret streams rushing through
Mid heaven, dripping down
The staircase of wind crashing
Through rooftops,
Seeping through ceilings
Where sons and daughters
a dream,
all things revealing!
Jun 2018 · 6.6k
Star seed..-
Ilion gray Jun 2018
I am yours.
To keep
Or ****-
To own
Or burn;
Freeze and melt,
And drip down into
Until nights are dreamless
And the day sky loses the moon-
      Because when you kiss me
Planets arrive suspended-
perfect silence
Through the loneliest
stitch of space-
of infinite galaxies-
Of Rolling hills of black.
I forget all the empty things,
I forget that I am a drifter
Into every morning that bears
The Dying day...

Your smile Ignites spinning
                                    in space-
                     Sets stars aflame...
            Pouring itself
   down into
Drifting planets-
Life into the dark

If you squeeze my heart
And take it,
So be it.
you have rearranged
the notes;
the measure
Of its beating.
When you enter,
Walls shatter and collapse

In you the earth stands still-
        In you it turns again.

Yes my love,
I do walk with 

I will only rise
above you,
so the devil
can not see you.
I will hide you
beneath my skin,
in between
my bones,
If you are tired of being alone...
In a world,
thats not your home
May 2018 · 8.9k
Ilion gray May 2018
I am yours.
To keep
Or ****,
To own
Or burn
Freeze and melt
And drip down into
Earth.. Yours.

nights are dreamless/
the sky loses its mind
Ascends into shadows of cosmos/
     I am Yours-
      Because when you kiss me
I forget that I am empty,
I forget that I am a drifter,
Into every morning that bears
Dying day..

Because when you kiss me,
Perfect Planets arrive,
From the furthest fields of gods face,
Across His most holy ancient eyelids,
Of eons,
Of galaxies,
Out, from relentless darkness,
Your smile Ignites spinning
Sets stars aflame,
Pouring down
Crashing through
Each invisible sphere
into the firmament,
Then fall onto the Frozen mountaintops,
I watch
Through gods fist
into the throat of earth..

If you squeeze my heart..
take it...please,
when you stop loving me..
Keep it,
So be it.
Because you rearranged
the notes,
Adjusted the measure
Of its beating
to the symphony
Of you breathing,
When my soul
was yours..
inside of you)
                                         ( in the distance..)
                          (Everything they built was dying)
                        (Clouds were falling down to                            earth)
(could smell seconds burning)
                    (today the world broke)

                         You enter

the barred windows and ***** Walls
and collapse/
wrapped in raindrops
rushing down
The Ceiling.

Because I have found you,
I no longer wade in black
       puddles of hours

In you the earth stands still..
Only you can make it turn again.

Give me your hand..
though I walk with wild fires,
flames will never reach you,
I will hide you beneath my skin,
in between my bones/
If ever you tire
Of fear..
of being alone,
For all your prayers
God did not hear..
I will cast a single stone
Up into the endless ever,
wait at his feet
For an answer..
when The gate opens...
Without gesture,
In silence,
Without question-
I would return all of my years to him..
So that you,
could return to heaven.
Ilion gray May 2018
Every word is weighted...
every sound..
It's the weight of simply being
nothing in the wake of infinity
Is weightless my child,
..When you forget who you are, and you become
                                            Only human....
Knowing the weight of being will guide
In not forgetting..
That when we are born
in order to lift our arms
We had to raise
the weight of a tiny universe!
We had to reject
the weight of eons,
in order to raise our eyelids,
Light pouring in
Like a star traveling
through the infinite
To the darkest spaces
where light has not been
..raging traveler
Wrapped in fire,
swallowing fire!
once it has this way,
Out of control,
as if God were skipping holy ancient stones across the sea of heavens.....
that space will never be
Never be completely dark....
Just as
am not a poet,
Just as love is not love,
And the heart,
is only named a heart,
As true as God exist
Whether we agree on his name or not.
Soon they will know...
You who gave them each their own universe
To subdue, freely...
They meander through hours tediously obsessed with tiny screens
Surrounding themselves with,
Sharply, Shining, mind
sterilizing streetlights
amid flashing signs.....
                               go out away sometimes...
Out where God still walks among the
Ageless trees
telling tidings in wild wind
amid waves of leaves,
through songs of birds..  
where all the spaces are full,
with the
Stellar silence of gods footsteps traveling
across the woods of days...

You must go now!... .those few who escape
Will know the weight of days..
Everyone else will go blind..
....and be humble..
For you have not known such light...
The rage of its energy
Destroying everything evil,
all at once...and without question..
Then they will know,
But it will be too late..
And never will you see this world in
Such a plight
as will be that day!
I am not a poet,
I do however
know the exact weight and measures in
for everything existing..
I came only to remind you,
If we forget how to read the stars
When they are  no longer impossible to reach,
When children no longer gaze at the

for hours,

When they can no longer climb trees
and be completely at peace with simply existing..,
When we chase the light across 8 lane streets and tv screens,
Creating a false definition of creation,
Do not be fooled!
Soon they will charge you for the electricity
You use in your dreams..
And the people will stop dreaming...
Because you can't turn off the lights
In dreams...

After tonight..
The world will never sleep again..

Only eating, drinking,working
While in our midst tiny universes collide
And we are walkers through constellations
Only seen and mapped
By those who have learned the weight
Of everything
in all the spaces..,
Simply the weight of being...
If you do not listen when you hear
The tidings of the weight of being..
and the day of days...
you will be found out among
Those who could not hear
Over the raucous roars
Of starved lions stalking in the tall corpse of sun Burnt grass...their bones crunching beneath
The weight of Satans vengeful grasp...
They're Waiting, only
to tear you to pieces...

I am not a poet..

Like you...
a universe..
aging comfortably
in the belly
Of the almighty,
To time indefinite,
because at birth our
First breath is
our last
perfect Breath,

We would fair best-
Not forgetting..

even raindrops
fall freely,
freezing even...
At the will of the wind...
Ilion gray May 2018
remember this/
In the history of the infinite/
were born once/
a single awkward wave raging about the eternal
Sea of sovereign heavens/ to exist only as a question, that
God answers softly
In a soundless language,
the stitch of Silence of the subtle spaces remaining
In the wake
of leaves falling/
as they crash into earth
        "You will never be again...."

quietly listen..
.that you do not miss
The tides when they ride,
crawling through time,
..they have rose to be ridden!
For you...They are coming..
Through the sea of heavens..

            You must
              listen intently,
That you do not miss a word
as they race to the edge of clouds
and leap down through
Mid-heaven tumbling to earth
wrapped in raindrops..
.you must be are about to lose your mind..
Once it has gone,
Do not let it back in...
walk ***** across the bush,
collect the rain in the open pores and
Crevices of your golden gypsy skin..
Stop! ....
      ....everything in the universe.....
For only you could give a witness,
as escaping days speak freely
in the hidden language...
Once they have passed, they will never..
Be again.
I will tell you now...
that every atomie/
Dripping essence/
Into your being is sacred..
you are the keeper of
both grand  and desolate images
Unseen, even from days of the endless ancient , you alone who have traveled...far..
Far out beyond the chasmic cliffs,
who feels the earths pulse through his feet,
the one, who walks in darkness,
with his soul set on fire..

you alone..are the author of dreams,
                            In you the wind roars wild..

There is a force between us..  
I will teach you how to hold it ...
wield it wearily ,
For it's wrath
Will awaken every demon, and shatter them to dust
The glare it sheds from the sun will illuminate the evil hearts of man,
... remind mankind
of the empty heavens...
Of the vast
of unnumbered
and universes unseen,
That those empty.. heavens hold.

Apr 2018 · 4.2k
And I saw...and look,
Ilion gray Apr 2018
a view from the cosmos...
How our great cities just looked
Like stains
And the earth..
Looked as if it were silently searching...
Ilion gray Apr 2018
I have wondered as the hours went passing...
while the rain was dripping slowly off the drifting clouds,
the shoulders of heaven,
lightning was dancing unaware,
across frozen mountain tops
..what must your voice sound like..? How soft, but  subtle, perfectly silent as new skin,
As a tiny humans first step,
Yet with such depth the stunning sound  shall  strike the door at the bottom of the earth,
It's resonance will awaken
Leviathan from the hidden place,
You are, Jehovah, the almighty! God of armies! lasting, indelible,
like the wind, unseen!
Ilion gray Feb 2018
My fellow Americans,
You are smiling
But the look in your eyes is as if the last butterfly has died on the coldest night of every newborns first July.
I am dark, you are light,
There are planets between us.
Ancient lost stones rolled in  by Godless men,

This America

We will belong to them
Until there are no more Eagles,
When the scent of bloodless freedom entangles the wind,
When peace comes,
And the earth settles back into its perfect skin,
when no raging wildfire spins,
When the ageless waters calm,
And  death ends,
And there are no more lost sons,
When the final drum is struck upon the
Killing grounds,
Though every raindrop falling
Hunts them down,.
Until there are no more years to steal from us,
When the last hours crumble to minutes
And dissolve into dust.
Tomorrow though we may see the sun...
We will shamefully belong to
This America.........
Until there are no more guns.
Shame and eternal shame...nothing but shame, to stand behind the second admendment today....
Jan 2018 · 1.3k
These days...
Ilion gray Jan 2018
I am waiting for the sun to expand and swallow
Everything my eyes can see.
the feeling of
afraid... love
doesn't exist anymore
Because you said so..
that day you took every cloud
From the sky,
Nothing came after.
how could you ask me
To forget..
existing beside you..
While the universe in chaos
Crashed down through
Our ceiling,
  Even more than that..
The impact
The wake of your leaving,                                              
Shattered my soul,
And left craters
In the prairies of my mind
Mountains were falling
Down to earth from on high..
Colliding with every
hope filled
Thought I had of loving you...
i was trying
To rise up through the cloudless  
Frozen sky,
Fool was I
To think I could fly
Not knowing
That you did not want...
To reach your moon...
Ilion gray Jan 2018
tonight I have had enough...
I pray to you....
God....would you not take my
Breath and give it to the unborn child
For those souls who could not
Enter a world cold..
Tonight there is no moon..
Even the trees are weeping
i  called to
the tides of Wafting essence
from the farthest corners of heaven..
Waiting behind the walls of wind
Waiting to see your tiny hand
Burst through the clouds of poison gas
And gamma rays disrupting the emptiness
But tonight....
The ceilings are untouched by the startling shrieks of
Baby sparrows,
I can hear every clock in the city
each second embedded
In the silence..
The world is a void.
but i am here-
Must continue to hold your heart
In mine,
Because I will see you again despite
The endless darkness-
I will no longer acknowledge time-
Nor my losses,
For neither were ever mine,  
No! were not to be lost!
I will have you forever-
In the raindrop,
In the ***** sunshine of day,
Beneath the fallen leaves,
That scarcely hide the earth
On the darker days-
I will see your face...
In clouds-
Feel the warmth of your tiny fingers in
The wind-
tickling my nose...


there is nothing between us..
Not even love...
for there are no words...
                       ­      only "us"

I can see you in the night-
Meandering along the broken cliffs
Of the ever anxious ether-
all covered in
Ancient light..
I am watching you dance tonight...
From earth..

You chose to live behind
The gates of sight...

I will no longer be saddened
By the night..
Knowing  now,
you are forever!
endlessness and light...

never die
Ilion gray Jan 2018
And what is this that we call love..
Here I see that we are only shells of us
And whisky
Festering wounds,
The breaking is coming
The earth will deny the moon,
And demand return of
everything That was taken
There was a creeping rage
Came in  last night with the
it was a quiet sordid
Growl, I heard a voice escape
The winds wake, it said"
There are no more children here,
There are no trees,
The rivers  tell the stories now,
There are no Fathers,
There are no angels!
Beware, That you do not go missing
but listen  
and be silent
And you may hear the
Sound of
Everything existing
dying, and slowly
Dripping into the dawn.
Dec 2017 · 1.1k
You left this..
Ilion gray Dec 2017
There is only this
The weary silence
The black mask of servitude
Humans are their truest selves
When beneath the magnifying glass
Of night
Where thoughts,
Wear suits and ties and form fitting black dresses
beautifully Tailored with pieces of
Shattered mirror,
And the moonlit dances across them
that bring in clouds full of drops
Of  Serotonin,
quietly skipping along the cliffs
Of dawn,
As I watch them retreat
Into the deep where
I cannot retrieve them...i am learning..memories too
Are made like us....
Of dust and wind..
300 million cells just died
Inside of me, and look there
300 million more have gone
I am never the man I was before
And the earth spins on,
The memory of your fingertips
dancing salsa moonlight across my skin,
Does not die...
The scent of your presence
Like a valley of roses set afire,

tonight.. You..

you are my enemy,
because you clench my soul,
And yet you released so
Easily, when she let you go
Dec 2017 · 16.6k
I was alone....but
Ilion gray Dec 2017
Tonight I am unfamiliar
With loneliness
I am here
And you are not...
And yet
I will never forget
walking from the park..our son swinging from planet to planet,
Traveling time,
Tiny threads of minutes
Are also infinite..
Indelible, you captured us between your God-like hands ...making each second endless,
And still,
They will never die..though they stand,
In the midst of 10,000 dying memories.
Each of his tiny hands in one of ours headed
west down Malcolm x
toward Broadway,
Feeding ourselves to the starvation of day..

                             (Part 2)

In the chamber of unspoken words,
Where cold truths often hide
whose doors oft go unopened,
Both of us, knowing stories of lovers past whose love,
surely died from  
the fire.
two losing lovers joust
in  a house of hope and life..
yet they light
That house afire
and watch it
burn down in flames
Of desire and shame,
And although it
Rained many seasons since,
And the winds come in
stronger than any seamans hands,
I can still smell the dank musk of dying cedar
It enters me,
With every breath,
......tonight I am unfamiliar with being human
Because from what I've heard...I have seen everything..
Humans are lonely....
I have never been alone...
And when the darkest of the ancient infinite emptiness embraces me....
Even there,
  in that unfathomable space, 
where neither silence,
nor Angels have traveled.....
I will not be alone.
I once existed,
Just as cloud
Always leaving
Never arriving,
As a
stone I was ....
I was a tree , watching days
Walk silently across time.
I have forgotten loneliness
And longevity,
as "humans" are prone
To fear the days raging on....
These days, I
Cannot be human....
I am the cloud,
I am the tree and it's leaves,
Losing through seasons,
Yet my roots are fingers I have driven
down deep below the skin
Of the breathing earth..
Aging willingly
A tree, giving
It's leaves, hoping
To be crumbled
and shattered beneath the back
Of some child playing
under rays of sun,
That were never mine or hold...or, to own,
Knowing how our lives
as well we borrowed,
both mine and yours,
a face in an infinite crowd...
Only knowing what comes before tomorrow ,
I am a cloud,
I am the stone beneath the cloud,
I am also the tree beside the stone..
And as long as there is this
Infinite ending always at the feet
Of silence,
I will never be alone.
Nov 2017 · 837
"Momento mori"
Ilion gray Nov 2017
If time ever
Calls you a liar..
I will deny time-
if time ever takes your mind,
I will defy time-
become as elusive
As silence in this kingdom
If time tries
To forget you-
I will set the clouds aflame
With the songs
Of your lifes story,
Then when rain falls it will be wrapped in fire
Rushing down to earth like a vengeful tide of tiny comets,  
and screaming your name into infinity.
Nov 2017 · 982
You belong to the wind..
Ilion gray Nov 2017
The truth is that we are all losing our minds a little here
On earth
                ...........Aren't we?
Watching the air painted gray
Bleeding rain
Dripping from endlessness onto you
Racing down your forehead gently
Riding the sweat of your neck
down the crevice of your chest
Down down through your toes
Until it is more you than it is a raindrop.
We are all losing
You who are grinning
Thinking that
Have secretly been winning,
You too have lost
I will tell you now
Do not bend
For sometimes bending requires
Forgetting the truth,
And no one will be there
To straighten you,
But broken pieces are gods
Gift to the wind,
And you
Are too, and you will be there!
Wherever it takes you!
Ilion gray Nov 2017
I went outside today and wandered along  the quiet edge of your life where the  sunshines Rays dance across your body, whilst flickering through leaves of trees
on and off like light off a disco ball,
we quietly surrendered to ourselves,
To the emptiness of being broken,
You are As loud as water pouring down from heaven forever, your departure
Drowned out thunder and deleted the sound of stone crumbling beneath the ground
As the angry earth grinds it's teeth,
You are.

I am.

I do not know where here is
I've ******* the bulb back into
Socket in the bathroom..
I have been resurrected
because I can look myself in the eyes
Again when I look in the mirror,
And tonight
every light in the apartment is on.
Ilion gray Sep 2017
I love you relentlessly,  the way death inches toward all of us,
As if I  held Eons in my closed fist,
and all the world went black,
I alone
held All the emptiness,
In a bag thrown across my back,
even the blackness was empty,
And it was mine
I would sit suspended in the void.....
For your voice,

Being can wait,

When I hear you,
Like the tide rising in the Hudson
Silently conquering the staind concrete barricades, swallowing the beaten streets and behemoth carcasses of capitalism ,  only then would I calmly  lift each
Let the eons rip through the nothing and
Slowly drip
From my lips
To your eyelids,
Like a kiss,
I would return all of the light to you,
I would only wake you,
While the whole world slept

We will walk through the universe.

Once we reach the outer gates of
The cosmos,
we will walk......
until we become
something else
Ilion gray Aug 2017
If you are going to be alive,

Then watch existence until you bleed from your eyelids

See everything roving about the earth!

Do not sleep…for

Death is coming and long lasting…

Sometimes I fear that there is a waking after,

But it is not life..

So if you are going to be alive …

use the swollen yet open eyes of your fingertips

whilst you meander through the ignorance

of humankind…

if you are going to be alive…

create something unforgettable

before you die…  

lest your every breathe be lost amidst

the infinite galaxies everlasting,

where only god can hear the pulse of the

endless after
Ilion gray Mar 2017
Unlearn what you know of history
Climb atop the highest eldest tree
And read the palms of its leaves,
Then Shamelessly sing aloud
every song
they told you not to sing,
Listen to the stories of souls as they make their home in the spaces of your mind, you were never allowed to go
they speak through shrieks of sparrows
streaking through clouds,
speak through the sound of those clouds breaking,
Cold and
low as the growl
of the darkest streets in Brooklyn the concrete aching
praying for morning,
Then eternally waiting,
They speak through the silence
of flowers living in pots,
resuscitating the bedroom of stale burnt air through ***** half closed windows
cumulus clouds of smoke
Remembering that we were never children.

Though you may ly down to sleep,

Tonight is dreamless

Each second, screaming
Telling tidings
Of an infinite army
Of angels, without number,
So vast...Not even the cosmos could
Hold,the weight of there infinite souls,
Their voices can be heard from
Light years away,
Their words are pre-ancient, spoken
in the unheard language of origin.
Jan 2017 · 1.7k
New Yorker in America
Ilion gray Jan 2017
I live where the wall
And the corner meet-
Between filthy sidewalk cracks
Where small talk falls
Toward shouting steps
Of countless off beat feet,

Amid the waking of the city
I reached up through the emptiness of
I broke off a corner piece,
I ate it
Chased it with
A cup of acid rain
I am high
From all of this humanity,
And from these heights
Our "great" cities look like stains,
And I am as incomplete,
The silence in an
Empty ****,
Waiting to host
Silent enough to hear blue whales sing,
To hear clouds traveling,
Could write existence over again,
Would leave out every "I"
"Me" must go also-
"We" would be excessive-
There would  just be the ebb and flow
Of ageless essence,

Being who God left us
Dec 2016 · 1.3k
There are days
Ilion gray Dec 2016
when I hear the voices of ageless ancients
Rushing down through the water from the faucet
into the drain of the bathroom sink,
I think...
The water will outlive us all,
Even through flames we raised as high as every peak,
The embers that seemed to burn eternally,
None of the birds escaped,
I alone prayed for rain
Just to hear the water speak,
I wanted to know
If life was free,
That when the sun has lost its rage,
On the last day,
When the furthest stars drift even farther away,
All at once as final leaves
On the worlds' last December's eve,
Will the waves of the sea still endlessly speak?
Dec 2016 · 1.5k
i want to know
Ilion gray Dec 2016
who will answer
when the children call out,
will they grow old,
floating on tiny cold islands,
With stones where their eyelids
Used to be
Waiting to be free from the frozen hands left
In the wake of our power schemes and lavish plastic dreams?
Will they spend the rest of their lives
To tear a wall down that we let stand?
Will they learn how 561 million
free people
were defeated by one man, and his faithful clan of 61 million?

Will they still have trees to climb?
Or will they lose their minds at 14 when they find out
That “America” was truly just a dream, in all its greatness
Just dangling on a string of hatred, will there still
Be a lasting truth? Will they still be afraid to say it?
If the earth is still dying, will they still be trying to save it?
If god be so ashamed
that he leaves us
spinning through the endless ether
far, too far to hear our prayers?
Will they all carry ak-47s
angrily spraying steel tips
Toward heaven
Knowing god isn’t there?
we cannot allow humans to build walls between themselves, nor can we allow our insatiable greed to continue to destroy the earth, our children will not survive our rampage
Ilion gray Nov 2016
my mind Drifts
out among far lonelier galaxies,
My soul is alone  
I’m no longer sure where I am,
I remember
Tomorrow  begins long after the lights go out,
the children should be asleep by now,
But they are all awake
Just lying there with their hungry brains,
their angry anxious eyes burning holes through the ceiling,
The Stars have witnessed all of our trials,
The Plastic craze and false smiles
I am treading through a sea of aging faces
At a rapid aimless pace  
I breathe in the
Subtle scent of life disintegrating
The cracks in the streets are weeping
Blood dripping down chipped bricks
in this city
where no one sleeps
but everyone is dreaming.
Where walls are  watching us refuse to fight
trapped beneath a vengeful poisoned sky,
the raging scent of defiance in the air so thick,
You could hold your breath
And take a hit.
There is
A faceless
whos'voice echoes
through every chain link fence or
wall that ever held or bound the people,
I will tell you now..
if you sacrifice your body,
there is freedom!
However, never surrender your mind
to these men,
they are feeding brains to dreams
that are dying.
be true.
Everyone is a lifetime.
Fear blinds all eyes!
Do not be afraid, my child!
Be free,
or be one of the many
Passers by
Shells of exhausted souls
Just breathing till’ they die.
Nov 2016 · 995
Freedom of the people
Ilion gray Nov 2016
If only freedom had wings,

We the people
As if we were dead already
Aimlessly awaiting
The sun.
I see things
You don't see.... Yet
Have never felt at home,
In this land where opportunity is a raging wind
where the boiling clouds bleed
Intoxicated with raindrops  howling with hatred they burned our skin,
and when we screamed out loud
the King told us to calm down,
And peacefully watch our children be
eaten by the dreams
That we brought into our homes
Untamed and ashamed
I blame myself....
For forgetting I too am free to save the world
That I too could change it all before the sun comes up,
I can now only expel my fear
And fight before the light goes out!
"Freedom of the people", is a colorless,  sexless, ageless, unbiased  movement created to remind America that it was built of the inherent need for freedom, and at this point in time more then ever we have forgotten everything that freedom is, do not feel defeated!  if you are truly a  free American then you should realize that nothing happend to you...just another chance to redefine your "freedom".
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