This heart has been
The smallest boy in the
Schoolyard.

Picked on, punched.
Called names, pointed at
With raw laughter of the

Cruel, cruel kind.
Grew skin as solid as its
Ability to draw

Lines, and stand for them.
I will not accept.
Sometimes pulse

Is the heart
Beating
Back.

I don't care any more
nor do i care any less
but i'm your lover, not your *****
and you're the reason for this mess

Parading your **** like you're in command
I have limits to your inane nonsense
I'm finally making my stand
No longer giving out to your reasons

I will stand tall, no matter what
Shape up and become a Man
Quit thinking below the waist
and treat me like I know you can

Empty vessels would clang the most
Never exercising the need to be humble nor coy
You're an underachiever with the penchant to boast
You were never a man, but a childish little boy

But, no matter what you have done or who you have become, i still see the passion within you
I see a pure love that we have created, one that is so true...
Although you have made many mistakes in the past
I am still sitting here willing to stick around for this love i know will last...

for ever and until the end
until they lay us six feet under
hand in hand as we die
i will be your lover

a lover to cherish the ground you walk on,
even when you stumble and shake,
i'll be your first in command,
because with you, there is too much at stake.
i want to be that lover,
who awaits in adoration of your arrival,
that one lover,
who loves you until our love is final.

I carved my chest and gave you this heart.
We flowed through the nile and overcame ocean tides.
A seed of bliss you planted in me and our love was born once more, leaving me scarred.
I thought you were proud and passionate but the truth was cloacked by your lies.
You dined with others while I recovered.
I resent you but appreciate the gift of new life that we have, this bond we share may never break,
for it's the only bond that makes us care.

“I wouldn't expect you to know beauty."
Beauty isn't ten pounds of make up, long hair, and thigh gaps
Beauty isn't the biggest ***** or **** you can find
Beauty isn't always short and petite

Beauty is her personality
It's her laugh, it's her smile
It's her ability to make you laugh for miles
It's her hugs that make your heart beat fast
And blushing madly when she grabs your ***
It's the way she loves and lives off of fun and enjoyment
It's the way she holds you during sleep over nights

She may be beautiful on the outside, but that doesn't compare to what I know is on the inside

You are the candle a meter away from me.
  The little light you create was enough to burn
  my eyes, and I had to look away
  not for too long. I got addicted to your flame.

I refuse to elevate my eyes an inch from
  the yellow light in front of me.
  Over and over, I reckon and I reckon
  that your heat isn't burning me right, it was burning me from my insides.

You bend, you deform yourself, you break
  ever so gracefully, like dancing through the stagnant wind.
  And in that moment, your body is telling me
  a flame can die if the blow is too strong.

But you are the candle a meter away from me,
  and the space, the distance was too far
  even with your flame too yellow
  my lungs couldn't breathe enough air to make your flame flutter.

I can't write...
     I have a stash of twenty drafts, bearing a couple of lines each
I can't crack...
     Every draft seem to have developed a shell I can't breach
I can't gather...
     My thoughts so I could nurture these drafts to fruition
I can't think...
     The clatter in my head meant only to deafen
I can't fathom...
     What went right from what had gone completely awry
I can't find...
     Much needed sanity to let soar and fly
I can't cry...
     The tears I've beckoned for so very badly
I can't scream...
     Only muffled gurgles of notions drowned at sea
I can't see...
     The bigger picture...that consumed us both
I can't hear...
     Except for the dreaded voice of reason that I loathe
I can't piece...
     Together one decent little write

I can't breathe...
     I can't breathe...*I'm losing this fight

It's just four words
But his knees are up his lips
Afraid it might not work in the long run
If she leaves one day
Will he ever find love again?
He loves her like the ocean waves kissing the shore
Like the sun burning despite sleeping but his love beating with fervor
For the gleaming moon with elegance in its eminence
But these four words are impossible for him to speak
"Will you marry me?"
Might never cease to exist

He doesn't know where to begin, for these four words overwhelm him
Flooded with excitement but doused in fear, losing his train of thought when she's near
His love for her burns a flame so bright, lighting up the darkest of nights
He thinks to himself, "we've leaped the hurdles of three words, I love you, I can do these four"

He imagined the first night with her
Will be the most intimate, not ***
But just being with her in bed
Pillow fights to jumping on springs
Talking until the sun rises
Knowing that this will be forever
With these reveries in his head
He cast aside all the enmities and fear inside
Looking at that Tiffany & Co Heart shaped diamond
He called her and said to himself
"This is it. I can do this."

Into the room she glides, glowing like an angel descending from heaven
With a questioning expression, exploring him up and down
She asks "Yes my love?"
With the confidence of kings, he kneels before his queen
Before a word slips his mouth, diamond rivers glisten
Streaming down her scarlet cheeks, he reaches out to her hand
*"Sweetheart, I would like to ask for your hand,
Will you be mine forever?"

I wanted to write a poem
about the way you looked at me
but I didn't have any words
and I realised, with you,
there are never any words.

It is raining outside
and like the thunder
I had so much inside
it needed to go somewhere.

I wanted to smile at you
but my lips decided to freeze,
you were the ice age
that no one ever saw coming.

Coffee stains on these lips you stained
Your breath I can still feel, whispering 
"I'll never leave"
But promises are feigned to be broken 
Deigned with trust, words that matter unspoken
Fate played its twist, karma hit me like I deserved this
Past loves I slaughtered, they'll be laughing now
"I hope he'll die a loner"

These lips are stained
With more than just coffee
They are stained and tainted
With the ghost of your memory.
I still recall, last fall,
When you took the words 
I love you and 
Breathed life into them
As you whispered them gently
In my ear
And stamped your name
Underneath my rib cage
I remember how sincere
You sounded,
How so willingly 
I plucked them from the air
And surrounded
Myself, in their warmth.
I'll never forget, 
The yield of regret,
That comes with not 
Building up walls
And putting up a safety net
For all of those times you
Let me slip
Between your fingers
And the pain it still lingers.
Your promises were made
Empty and broken
The lies and deception
Apparent yet unspoken.

Life's expectancy to decree what I believed 
That our love was bound by fate
If only I didn't get my coffee that day
We would never have met
And I won't be dealing with this heartache
I hear but I can't see
Blinded by your Iloveyou's 
Those 7 letters, three words will be the death of me
Clinging on to hope, hoping you'll be my last
But like the others you left, 
For the first time, leaving me broken
Helpless and leaving me wanting more
Was it even real for you at all?

I thought that maybe
I had finally found the one
But past lovers
They too, had upped and gone
And I'm left thinking
And wondering
*Is there something wrong,
With me?