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i don't know what to do with all these left over feelings
you've really made a mess out of me
want to move on but i can't
this dynamic keeps ******* with me

cause we're cool then we're hot
there's rules then there's not
quick to put a stop
when what you want is what you got
when i give it up and lay it down
but still confused when i spell it out
just ******* wow
***** to be me right now
waited for a couple hours
spent a couple days
staring at a silent phone
for things you'll never say

a tipped firework
beautiful before you know
it's shooting through your heart
and just way too ******* close

because who wants to be hurt
not me and i guess you're the same
but you can detach in way i can't
you'll always be okay

cause you don't care
so you can't get hurt
i cry on our behalf
you laugh at these words

i'm trying to make sense
i'm trying to clean up the glass
maybe i'm thinking too much
but i can't bring myself to ask

questions i won't like the answers to
not ready to exist without you
why is what i'm doing not enough
so much progress but haven't touched
a single dream i had
making myself feel bad

cause i did things
a lot for me
but i'm still so far
and it breaks my heart

how much harder must i fight
when there is no end in sight
if i could have one thing for sure
that's all i ask for
point out the mess
but don't offer to help
just what i'd expect
only concerned with yourself

can't even see
how you led to this tragedy
abandoned me
to blame for this savagery

see
i killed a dream tonight
try to tell myself it will be alright
saying this is how it had to be
convincing nobody

killed it with my bare hands
telling myself that it would understand
justifying what i had to do
knowing it was supposed to be me and you

your hands are clean
you walk away fine
my hearts a crime scene
bound to flatline

can't even see
how you led to this tragedy
abandoned me
to blame for this savagery

cause
i killed a dream tonight
tried to tell myself it would be alright
saying this is how it had to be
convincing nobody

killed it with my bare hands
telling myself that it would understand
justifying what i had to do
knowing it was supposed to be me and you
unlike me to leave people behind
or let dreams die
but there comes a time
when all you can say is goodbye
where all you can do is let go
and hope the other person knows
how much you cared even though
you're the one who chose to ghost
because i had to do better for me
focus on priorities
make choices that weren't easy
be the person i thought i'd be
and its not that we were doomed
there's so much potential for you
i just had to do what i needed to do
i wasn't happy and thats the truth
i wasn't growing how i promised to myself
you were becoming somebody else
the relationship was a drag on my mental health
it took forever to decide if i should even tell
you how i felt or do something about it
wasn't pleased when you rebounded
but i did leave you unaccounted
i just needed to be surrounded
by people who saw me for more than what i could give
and people who loved me when i was hard to forgive
you tried but you just never did
that's the kinda of person i see and need myself to be with
lost connections
bad impressions
i want friends
but i'm bad at textin
i'm bad at interaction
but ache for compassion
would faint at a crumb
flatline for a fraction

like **** how bad do you have to **** up
to where your mom avoids your call
when nobody will meet your eyes
it starts to feel like its all your fault
cant control my emotions
endless crying and holes in walls
feels pointless to share
thats why i dont talk
i woke up this morning
without a thought
and it was nice

not hating myself
or begging
to die

it shouldn't be
this hard to
stay alive

i woke up this morning
hopefully today
is fine
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