Gone means past
In the current present

I am still going
Not quite
Split half
Yet
But  
Bordering line
Of
Insane

Gone would imply
Now all would be safe

When still
Indescribable pain
Shame
Stain
Great loss
Await

The separation
Is required

To snap
Is okay
If for the sake
Of maintaining the name

I'm counting
Now
Down
To
Ten

Keep the
Skin
But
Lose
The head

Maybe
Just maybe
It was the past

And I have
Gone
Half lost
Half found
Wholey
Dumb

/\

Time ticks
Traps thoughts
Takes trust
Turns to
Tears
Trying to tame
Tired
Tribulations

Truth
Tolls
Tremendous
Torment

False
Fills
Feelings

Futile Future
Full Fury
Forgetting
Forward
Free Falling
Face first

Grace gone
Gray gloom
Glorifies
Greed green
Generosity
Gave
Gluttony
Good
Ground

Unable
Unmoving
Unmotivated
Utmost
Undeserving
Utterly
Useless
Unseeing
Unbelieving
Until
Unwelcome

Bitter
Became
Bearable
Belief
Brought
Borders
Butchering
Beauty

Be
Broken
Be
Bleeding
Be
Beloved

Welcome
What
Was

Waste
What
Wasn't

Connection
Has been
My downfall

I am not free
I am not free
And liberation
Is not possible

Confined
By various things
The sick humor
Imbedded
Into this one sided game

And the truth is
The dealer  
Will always win

Gambling
For a worth
Not worth
The weight
Of words

Yet we play
And form lines
Salivating
At the mouth

Greed
Has now
Surpassed
Intuition

Limitations set
In stone

Do not fly
Do not question
And do not ever
Seek the solace
Of the ground

You'll never look
To wealth again

When you find
The warmth
Nothing
Brings inside
To bone

To dwell
Alone
Unknown
But known
Inside
In flesh
In mind
To shed desire
And take in
Light

Is the true prize
The true worth
Is worth
Absolutely nothing
Except to you

Possessions
Just kill
And bind
The soul

There is no winning
A game
Set to fail

Only persevering
Above
Everyone else

Maintaining time
And face
Pride
And taste

Respect
For structure
And labels

With bloody
Hands
And
Eyes to kill

Take it all

Or break
And feel
The fall

Where is the line
Where does it draw?
Where is the right
And where is
The wrong?

Stagnant
Thoughts
Will
Never
Run

Unleash
The mind
And find
The home

The fear does consume
The tired mind begins to slip
Inside I am prey

I have never been
Good with words
What I cannot speak
To face
Bleeds through
Comes out
In poems

The flow
Helps
Heal
The soul

The stains
Lesson
When the brain
Can cleanse
And close

Focus
On words
That will never
Have voice

But hold
The most relevance
For every single line
Screams the truth
That I often
Do not know
Until all
Is bared
Stark
And
Exposed

It's the only way
I have
To find
Myself

To feel
Things
I need to feel
But can't

These words
Are far more
Than a form
Of art

This
Is
Not
Art

This is my form
Of help

Of release
Of calm
Of peace
Of finding safe
Inside this shell

This
Is
Me

The me
That I have
Yet to meet
And get to know

The me that I hide
And lie about

This paper
Holds the emotions
I've always had
But have always been
Far too afraid
To show

I will open
Whole
Without close
For the sake
Of keeping
The sane
In self

When the going
Gets tuff
I get going

I am afraid
Of what I bring
Should I stay
So
I choose
To leave

Fight or flight
I flee
The scene
I beat
Myself
During the
Afterwards

It's always
After the fact
That the pieces click
And I find the lack
Of everything
Ironically soothing

It hurts
To lose
Not on my terms

But it hurts - worse
To see
What I have done

I need the lone
The lines to draw
Borders, limits
I cannot cross

I need the box
I need the loss
I need the pain
Isolation
Within these
Morbid thoughts

It doesn't hurt
If I'm alone

But it kills my soul
When I stop and think
Of all the black I bring
Should I choose to stay

Shake me hard
Until it hurts
Pull me from
This hell I lurk
In shame I dwell
Deep inside
Masked through
These cold dead eyes

I didn't lie
I swear
It's fine
It's all I've known
I said
I'm fine

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