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Apr 17 · 118
Polyphony to Cacophony
Harrison W Apr 17
Before the debutante’s
sister got into the car crash
with the drunk, wrong way driver
metal crunching
tires screeching
wet slippery highway
her dazey thoughts were
gray clouds
cool, prickly skin
Apr 16 · 175
At the Cafe
Harrison W Apr 16
Smoke it up cool cat
Lie back in the chair
Light a cig and breathe-
In the warm tobacco-
Taste flavors of tar, menthol-
And happiness
Feel nicotine travel
Through the branches-
Of veins
Exhale
Watch the opaque smoke
Dwindle in front-
Dip head forward-
Get that scent in-
Hair-
Eau de cig

Coffee finally arrives
Put out the cig
Ground plant into-
Burning ashes-
Pinch the cig-
Pour in cream-
Stir with cig-
Gettin’ the crusty-
Embers into the-
Golden nectar-
Of the gods-
Around around it goes
Drink it up
Is the rough gravel-
On your tongue-
Ground coffee or ash?
Apr 15 · 1.2k
In Quarantine We Trust
Harrison W Apr 15
In Quarantine We Trust
There will be annihilation
In Quarantine We Trust
It will end in jubilation

In Quarantine We Trust
An awakening of the soul
In Quarantine We Trust
Dirt for this empty hole

In Quarantine We Trust
Compassion for the spiteful
In Quarantine We Trust
Humility for the prideful

In Quarantine We Trust
That there will be healing
In Quarantine We Trust
For the tears of families kneeling

In Quarantine We Trust
First Procedural Sense
In Quarantine We Trust
Next Misplaced Reverence

In Quarantine We Trust
Dominion of material
In Quarantine We Trust
Elimination of ethereal

In Quarantine We Trust
There will not be new beginning
In Quarantine We Trust
The world will keep on sinning

In Quarantine We Trust
Unattainable height
In Quarantine We Trust
Fingertips missing Light

In Quarantine We Trust
The Essence will be rust
In Quarantine We Trust
Until we change our Trust
May 2018 · 324
False Hope
Harrison W May 2018
A joy
A moment
Bliss
Laughter
Serenity
The pinnacle has been reached

A fall
A lifetime
Fear
Disappointment
Betrayal
The plane was weak and the rocks slid

Broken
Is the body
Its physical humanity forever lost

Scattered
Is the mind
Its newfound knowledge laced in poison

Gone
Is the innocence
Its end caused by unimaginable cruelty
Oct 2016 · 628
Why I'd Never Leave
Harrison W Oct 2016
It isn't that you are technically apart of me
It's that I feel you are technically apart of me
It isn't that you are a limb to me
It's that you feel like a limb to me

It isn't that you are perfect for me
It's that I feel you are perfect for me
It isn't that I need you to live
It's that I feel like I'd die without you
Jul 2016 · 431
How Do I Meet New People?
Harrison W Jul 2016
I'm not really sure how to go about this
For the most part I'm too shy to break ice
Too despondent at times to maintain friends
Unfortunately I **** at expanding my inner circle at a time when
I need someone to talk to.

People go out there and do it like it's easy
And I don't get that
It isn't that I hate people
It's just that sometimes I have a hard time getting up every day and doing that
And that's something I don't understand sometimes
How can people do that?
Message or comment with thoughts.
Jun 2016 · 1.1k
My Nose Itches
Harrison W Jun 2016
Easy answer to a simple problem
Raise my hands and scratch the **** thing
But then again, why should I have to?
Why must I immediately raise my hands to scratch my itchy nose?

Is it because the itch is caused by a parasitic alien?
Hellbent in destroying my body by tickling my prickly nose hairs?
And thus if I scratch my nose I would rid myself of said parasite?
No no no, the idea of such a thing is of the utmost absurdity

The most logical answer is that I must rid myself of discomfort
Discomfort: Quite a word indeed to one that lives well
Where I can sit comfortably on a couch in an air conditioned house
And I can still find something that causes discomfort

Perhaps after I rid myself of this infernal discomfort
I shall go to the kitchen and make myself a lovely roast
With some scallion potatoes on the side with green beans
And then rub uncomfortably on the chair because my ******* itches
Mar 2016 · 441
Feeling Alone
Harrison W Mar 2016
When I'm with friends
I am supposed to be happy
I am supposed to laugh at their jokes
I am supposed to have intellectual discussion
I am supposed to talk about love, lust and life
I do these things but I don't feel them like I should

Warm and fuzzy feelings
A sense of accomplishment for the things I do
All of which is not there
Instead replaced with a sense of numbness
A numbness that spreads from the tips of my toes to my watery eyes
All of which is directed by my unmanned control panel

Sure there are some days that I want to cry
But I'm not sad because of anything
I'm sad because of indifference
Indifference to the pleasure and pain in my life
Indifference toward whether or not the people around me love me
It seems that the only indifference I don't have is indifference to myself

I hate myself for being this way
Looking into the past like a pool of water
Convinced that I can even do anything besides splash it
And when I turn around to look to the future
Finding that I am surrounded by a jail cell with bars and no keys
Trapped forever in a state of perpetual limbo of pathetic self-pity

I find it hard to express myself because when I do
I am told repeatedly that I need to put it aside
Like it's okay that I am feeling it alone
Like it's okay that I feel there are only ever two types of days
Bad days or worse days
Like it's okay that I pray every day that today won't be a worse day

Maybe if I had control it would be okay
Maybe if I treated my failures like no big deal it would be okay
Maybe if I had a motivation or a sense of purpose it would be okay
But I have none of those things
So it's not okay
Nothing is okay and I will never be okay
Harrison W Mar 2016
Monogamy
Only two people
Becoming one in flesh and spirit
Strapped in this life together
To battle out the struggles
To care for one another
To guide one another
To correct one another
Till Death Do Us Part is the key
The key in life to true happiness

Girls Girls Girls!
Get your Girls!
Tall ones, short ones
Fat ones, skinny ones
Black ones, White ones
Asian ones, what have you!
We have them all
Here in front of you
At the click of a button
And a little desperate flirting!
We have a million!
Yes sir, a million girl to sleep with!
That can turn a frown upside down!
Yes sir! Each girl you ***** will make you happier
Than any guy who screws less!

Not sure the best way to come.
I wrote this on the toilet.
Feb 2016 · 1.0k
I and You
Harrison W Feb 2016
You should have only had one chance
And you failed You got another
One other chance to be a better brother
He tries to look up to You
Says he loves You with those eyes
Too bad You're too **** busy looking at Your girls thighs

Begs for You to listen
They call tell You to come over
Can't!  You're too busy ******* Your lover
Respect Your elders You never listen
Since after You *** You're too busy ******'

No one thought You were enough!
You had to go and get busy working
Yet Your ignorance is clouded by the darkness that is lurking
Gotta run to this place and You gotta run to that
You say, "Nope sorry, see you later, can't chat!"

You are a ******* fool
You are a liar, a thief
You are watching him fail and You don't care!
No one needs You, no one wants You
No one cares about You for who You are
No one wants You for who You are
Because the world doesn't want You
The world would be better off without You

I hope You die because then I wouldn't be able to hate You so much.
Feb 2016 · 825
The Day That I Met You
Harrison W Feb 2016
It  started as a bout of depression
As I woke up in my bed that only contained one pillow
A Valentine's Day that I have seemed to have forgotten
As I started to ******* to pictures of my exes
Picturing them in their vulnerable nakedness
In a previous life in a previous time

Dreary Day is what it seemed to me, D-Day
What I would have given to have a German shoot at me
And give me a jolted reminder of why I stay alive
Just go through the days and go through the motions
Make breakfast, eat, Netflix, make lunch, eat, Netflix, make dinner, eat-
Wait!

"Come to my anti-Valentines Day party... It'll be fun!"
I thought that it'd be easier not to go
Just stay home and stay in the cycle
Then again, all of my exes had boyfriends and they are happy
How dare they get to be happy while I am not!
I'll show them, I'll throw a big ******* on the day they so cherish!

I go to the party and get drunk quite quickly on the wine and beer
Then you came in, an angelic being among the party stoners
You come up to me quickly, since I am the most attractive person here
And grab my hand to shake and you tell me your name
That voice sounded oddly familiar in a sense, it was arousing
And that hair, and that body, and your initial passions that you express

Yes! You were perfect!  We were both a bit drunk
Got ***** as hell quite quickly and took off to a private suite
On one of the stoners beds and made love so sweetly
So tenderly that it was literally quite difficult for me to finish
Or that could have been the alcohol
Regardless though those were the events of that day

It is interesting to see how things change over time
How we are no longer just a fling, just an illusion in our heads
But our own people as we are now one
And as I look at you and get ready to continue my life
And you get ready to continue yours, there is no doubt about one thing
That everything from that day forth was better than the day I met you.
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
Flame
Harrison W Jan 2016
No flame is ever burning
It starts with a combustion
And blows into a stirring hot passion
But no matter how bright
Flame will always wither away into the unknown

Where has the flame gone?
One would ask
Why has the flame done this to me?
Another would scream
Why can't I even get flame in the first place?
Some will cry about

The answer is simple
Flame comes from a part combustible material
But that's only half the battle
It also needs to be exposed to an oxidizer and heat
And on top of that it needs to continue to be exposed to oxygen for oxidation
This can only be achieved through something called work
Dec 2015 · 332
Pretty Little Words
Harrison W Dec 2015
You open your lips slightly
You open them wide
And you say the words
The pretty little words

You pull me closer
Your hot breath to my ear
And you whisper to me the words
The pretty little words

The words repeat and entrap me
The words I repeat to myself
Each word I repeat tastes of you
The pretty little words

The words harden me
The words soften me
The words blind me and make me see
The pretty little words

You are a seraph
You are a devil
You will always guide me through with your words
The pretty little words
Dec 2015 · 707
Don't Go Away
Harrison W Dec 2015
Heart is numb, you wish you were someone else
Soul wants to flutter but trapped in this body
You're here and claim that you will stay
So why do I feel like you will go away?

You tell me that you don't think you're beautiful
You're lying to yourself, believing the words that others have said
I want you here my love, I want you to stay
Please please please don't go away

Stretch marks, fat, ugly, ******, wreck
I try to quell the flames
Stupid, worthless, disaster, I hate myself
It won't end.... It won't end....

I dreamed that I woke up alone in sorrow
I showered and got dressed for a wake
I cried because I was alone on the bed where we used to lay
Because you have decided to go away.
Dec 2015 · 470
Farmin'
Harrison W Dec 2015
We runnin' round like little chicks
Ready for a'slaughterin'
Farmer Gov comes out
Feeds us all little pells'

Buckah buckah we all crien' out
Farmer Gov scratches and plucks our feathas
One by one by one
Then throws us out and feeds pells' again

Eventually Farmer Gov a'slaughterin' us
He line us all up
An' sleets the throats with hees shaaarp knife
An' we jus' watch along as our other chicks *** cut until we a'panick when it's our turn
Harrison W Dec 2015
****** drunk as hell walking into
That common ******* office
Where you stand there rubbing money along your ****
And asking me to get down on my knees and smell it

You ask me that one more time I'm sure to do
Then I'll bite that ******* **** of yours
And watch that bleed over your ******* money
Grab the foul paper and shove it up your **** and watch it shred to millions of pieces

For shame
Not even your money could live inside you.
Dec 2015 · 337
Daydream
Harrison W Dec 2015
Keep looking and figuring out days in the sun
Life is in front
Yet one retreats
Question: Is the nature of Man unsatisfied with the life he lives?

Perhaps its escape
Away from the apparatus that the world has inflicted
Yet the retreat is futile for one will always get pulled back in
Question: When Man gets immediately pulled away from the fictional realization of his desires, is he satisfied with what He has in front of him?

No desire is ever satisfied
Desire is made up through dreams
It's these dreams make one hate reality
Question: Are the dreams that Man create are what poison them?

Precisely what causes the hurt
Precisely what causes the prolonged
Precisely what causes the boredom
Question:...............................................
"Dreams only have one owner at a time.  That's why dreamers are lonely." -Erma Bombeck
Dec 2015 · 1.1k
Plagues
Harrison W Dec 2015
The heart of the lamb cries out
The locusts crawl from beneath the Earth
Chop off the head of the ram boy
The plagues are here and sacrifice is in order

The dead will rise again
And will be swiftly devoured by lions
But the lions will get poisoned and die
The plagues are here and sacrifice is in order

The men, women and children will run
But there will be no opportunity to hide
For this time no one shall be spared
The plagues are here and sacrifice is in order

For it is too late, blood must be spilled
The Earth shall be decorated in pagan colors
Wine will turn to the blood of the disease and they will cry for mercy
The plagues are here and sacrifice is in order
Dec 2015 · 217
Death
Harrison W Dec 2015
It's coming
I can feel it
Crawling through my skin
Flowing through my toes
Up my legs
Caressing my genitals

Cold, so cold
It's in my chest
Inflaming it
I need to cough but I can't
It has reached my head
It has finally reached me and I'm gagging

Every part of my life
Was built toward this very moment
Here I am now
At the pinnacle
It's terrifying
Yet I'm ready to release

It needs no name
There is no question
I'm as stiffer than a board
Ready to be taken
Oct 2015 · 671
Marketing is Good For You
Harrison W Oct 2015
Life adds up quickly and goes by far too fast.  It's rather difficult deciding what directions need to be taken in order to succeed.  
I think what most of us fear though is having a fear of not succeeding in our endeavors.  Whether our endeavors are love, achievements or lifestyle based.

Personally, for myself, I am a marketer.  I research and relate to the consumer (which is all of you) and I do that so that can understand you better in order to correctly sell you a product or service or perhaps an idea.  

I get asked quite often from other people that are not in my field about the field of advertising.  First off, I am insulted that people are so ignorant that they believe that advertising is the only form of marketing communications that are out there.  There are so many other facets to the marketing mix.  Remember folks, promotion is only one of the 4 Ps.  There's also price, place and product and I think we can all agree that those play a major role and could take a lot of time to come up with.

Don't get me wrong, I like people.  In fact, I often like to refer to myself as a man of the people.  I work hard, I mentor students, run an organization and am helping with other groups in order to start another one, life is pretty great in general, so I am not simply ******* about how people are stupid.  I am ******* mostly about how people keep asking me if what I do and how hard I work is worth it.

What kind of question is that?  Of course it is!  I get to wake up every morning with always having something to do.  Every day I get to look nice and I get to go out to the world and convince people that marketing is good for them.  Trust me folks, that's a rather difficult thing to do but can also be easy.  Let's remember, no matter how you look at it, marketing is the pure dominates your entire lifestyle.  

Let's just say you are like Thoreau.  I'm sure many of you on here know who that guy was.  Well, as soon as he penned his transcendental poetic memoirs he was doing a form of marketing that marketed his lifestyle.  Let's say you present yourself to a friend, the presentation alone is a type of marketing because you are marketing yourself to your friend.

You see folks, people have marketing all wrong, and that is highly shown by the consumer's extra emphasis on advertising.  Most people think that marketing is a form of brainwashing.  It isn't.  Marketing in fact is all about the attempt to create value for consumers.  Brainwashing would be against our best interest because marketing is meant to also inform consumers, if all the customers in the world were programmed to like certain things then we would be out of the job.  The only brainwashing that is happening is your own minds giving in to a stimuli that just isn't that powerful when you step back and pay attention to everything.  

All marketing is about is simply harnessing what all of you communicate to one another an project it onto a medium, whether it is a speaker, poster, promotion or perhaps even a new product.  Which brings me back to my first point about succeeding in our endeavors.  Our endeavors are all valid but all of them are just you asking this: how am I going to be perceived in the world and to other people and myself?  As long as you have someone to impress or a motivation then you are a part of marketing.

In regards to what I do and my values, here they are: I am looking out for the little guy, the consumers that need to be more informed about the products and services and ideas available to them in order to enhance their lives, whether it is physical or emotional.  I enjoy it, and I wouldn't do any other thing with my life.
Jun 2015 · 275
Your Eyes
Harrison W Jun 2015
When I wake up in the morning
Peaceful waves of blue is all I see
Glistening, inviting me to jump in and sink deeply

The idea of sinking can imply drowning
But the feeling I seek to convey is a baptism
Sinking me down into the bluest abyss
Until the feeling lets me rise up as a stronger
Spiritually renewed man

Content with the feeling I watch your eyes
Sinking me down and pulling me up again and again
Continually making me more and more renewed
Always, every day, making me strong than I have been.
Nov 2014 · 547
The Edifice
Harrison W Nov 2014
I hate myself

I am trapped within the walls of my insatiable desires
I grasp the edifice with my bare hands
And attempt to pull myself up with all my strength
But it is hopeless and I rest against the solid wall

With each passing day of rest
The fortitude within me begins to crumble
I can feel the place beginning to collapse on itself
Trapping me in the rubble

Somebody help me

I cannot just rest I need to find the way out
Before this all crumbles down
Stand up and call
Call to those on the outside to come and save you

They don't come quickly enough
The foundation is in near collapse
I give up and try in vain to climb the edifice by itself
But I cannot do it, there is no way I can do this on my own

I'm glad you've finally came

You have come and saved me just in time
You arrived in time and yelled to me to grab your hand
I took hold of your tender hands
And the hands pulled me up with strength that goes beyond mere power

We reached the other end and we slowly walk away
You tell me not to look back and I obey
We move away from the edifice that once surrounded me
I decide to follow you and never turn back

It all went away

The edifice that once existed had disappeared
Not a single ounce of rubble nor remnants remain
The place where it once sat was covered with beauty
A peace enveloped it as trees began to bear fruit again

The pilgrimage out of the edifice
Would be treacherous to even the strongest of travelers
But you made the process seem easy
The hateful foundation that once was there had collapsed but I have escaped it.
Achieving victory in your name

I have learned to love myself through you
Nov 2014 · 320
Hello
Harrison W Nov 2014
I know you're reading this
Not necessarily sure why
If reading it just gives you a peace of mind
Or you just keep trying to hurt yourself

Either way I'm glad
And hope that this finds you
So that you can use it for whatever
Emotional outlet you use it for
Nov 2014 · 359
Blue
Harrison W Nov 2014
When you breathe
Your first breath of fresh air
I am the first color you see
Clothing the world in majesty

I am what brings you joy
Your first steps into the ocean
The color of your first room
That stuffed toy that you loved to play with most
The cute dress you wear on your first date
The eyes of the very first love that you kiss

I am the definition of success
The royals would choose me
People have fought wars for me
It makes me hard to come by
Modern art was made of me due to my delicacy
My color is the banker's choice
In a majority of country's my value on a dollar is the highest

I am despair
That sinking feeling that you try to get out of
The depression that never goes away
Try to grasp something in the melancholy but
Just slip faster and faster
The first color that you see when you become blind

I am balance
The ocean that let's you carefully float
But if not too careful will let you drown
The sky that brings you great joy
But allows you to live in sorrow
So that when you look up you will see it more

I am peace
The final moments of your stay
You lie down and look up for that last bit of fresh air
Close your eyes and take me in
And when you open them you see me again
You look at your love and there I am
You peer at the cool liquid that you sip
And cool off and breathe you last
And the final thing you think as you let the liquid
Cool your tongue and throat at the end of it all:
I am life
Oct 2014 · 318
The Pieces
Harrison W Oct 2014
When a piece of cloth is torn up
The pieces are separated
The cloth can be torn for many reasons
Abuse, being too frequently handled, neglect, or simply being worn out

When the cloth is torn the pieces drift
Multiple areas that can be difficult to find
Finding the pieces may take weeks, months, years
But the pieces will always be found and sown together again

When they are together though the pieces aren't the same
The pieces have gone to multiple areas and are shaped differently
They take different colors, shapes, sizes and textures
The cloth might not be the same for better or worse but at least the pieces are intact
I disagree.
Oct 2014 · 276
Why Am I Still Here?
Harrison W Oct 2014
I don't act the same
I'm nicer than I've ever been
My jokes are sharper
People actually like me now
I'm respected in my community
I'm a leader
I'm an actual Christ follower now
But why am I still here?

I don't look the same
My ****** hair grows faster
I wear glasses now
I've gotten kind of paler
I slick my hair back
I have gray hair
And now I'm balding
But why am I still here?

I don't live in the same conditions now
House is smaller
I maintain it, cook it, clean it, pay it
I don't have people cater to me
I cater to myself and those who live around me
I have my own van
Van is *****
***** is my room which is why I only now clean it
But why am I still here?

Why am I still in this place?
I feel lonely even when I know people love me
I sometimes feel like I'm sinking and no one can pull me out
I'm still angry no matter how hard I try
I still have the darkness inside me
It's trying to overtake me
God can help me but I don't know how

There is a void between us
That I wish I could reach across of
I wish that I could be held once in awhile
I'm kind of tired to doing the holding
What I desire is rest and to not be there anymore
To be called to so I may be comforted so I can comfort
I won't refuse for a second if that happens
I don't want to ask why anymore and instead exclaim, "Thank God!"
Thinking of you.
Sep 2014 · 3.5k
Handcrafted Vagina
Harrison W Sep 2014
I was working at the local McDonald's
In the afternoon and was
Told by my boss that since I disappointed him
On not making the fries salty enough
That he would put me on the midnight shift

So there I am
Taking orders in my little cubicle
Hearing the headphone
BEEP BEEP
"Yes I'd like a whopper, crap wrong place"
*******
I take orders and then work the dishes
Jorge calls out to me whether or not
I took off the pickle in the order by mistake

Night shift comes and the air feels cool
Through the drive-thru window
I feel the night time air caressing
And cooling me
My ******* erecting
Exalting a scent that reminds me of perfume

Afterward I have to take the trash out

As I go out the air hits me
Tackles me as I transfer myself
From inside to outside
I feel the same sensations but yet I hear music
DaDAdadumDAdadumDADADAAAADaDAdum
And I feel the sudden change to fill me with warmth

I go back inside and one of my fellow employees
Comes to me
"You want to see something cool?"
We walk to the back of the store
Where all the fry boxes are kept
And there is a whole in the ground

"I dug this hole and I think I found Mother Earth's ******."
I give him a puzzled look
"Looked, I ****** it earlier man and I've got to tell you.  It's a wild ride."
I begin to walk away
"Look man, these people around here call me The Master man.  I'm your guide through all this.  I'm the closest thing to the Alpha.... Or was it the Omega?....  **** man, I don't know just stick your **** in there."  

I walked away from it
But as I looked at the hole
I felt a certain allure to it
Drawing me in like a Siren calling
Perhaps it could be my Muse
My reason for being
Am I meant to do this?
An attempt at procreating with Earth?
It'd make sense since The Master had made
With love this handcrafted ******

I couldn't resist any longer
Temptation being to strong
I knelt down and inserted myself
Into the hole

At first I felt nothing but a scraping sensation
The sharp rubble of the ground grinding against my flesh
But then it became wet and calm
Almost soothing
I closed my eyes and then I saw her
Earth
Coming toward me and pressing my head against her breast
Calming allowing me to **** the ******
Which let me take in the sensation
Running through me as rapidly as a river
I heard the streams
Calming
The dirt was wet and I could put my feet in it
The wind blew with a lush autumn air
That was when I knew it was almost over
And I soon as the white of winter came
So did I

I removed myself and no longer knew what to think
I went home and slept and mulled over what happened
Over a pancake brunch
With chicken on the side
They go better together than you think
Aug 2014 · 567
Don't You Miss Me?
Harrison W Aug 2014
Do you ever think of me much?
I think about you a lot

I remember every time we've been together
I think about the times when you would run out of your house and hug me and told me that you missed me
I think about how you'd make me see those ****** movies that I didn't want to see just so I can understand you more
I think about how you trusted me and let me into your life
I think about what could have happened if I wasn't such a ***** up

I'm a ***** up, not something hard to say
That is quite obvious
I wasn't a very nice person overall
I didn't know how to act sometimes and many moments I should have known better

Known better
Something I think about constantly
I find a girl who likes the Tangerine Bear and turn her into a wreck
Never wanted to get her like this
Even in my hatred I loved her
Still do

But I had good parts to right?
I couldn't have fabricated everything
Not everything could be a lie
If you took away my awful parts would most of me still be left?
I miss you all the time
Don't mean it romantically
I just do
Do you ever try to get rid of the bad parts?
Don't you miss me when you do?
Maybe you do or don't
But I hope you know I do
Jul 2014 · 296
Get Out
Harrison W Jul 2014
You probably think that it's simple being me
I'll make it very clear
So that you can hear
That sometimes I want another route
Sometimes I just want to simply get out

I think sometimes of how I am quickly failing
You probably saw it and just thought I was ******* and wailing
That I was a whiner, loser and complainer
When I was just struggling trying to stay saner
Whether or not you cared or bothered to see
You must have known you were mentally torturing me
As I struggled and struggled all throughout
Just simply trying to get out

I sometimes think about how I am trapped
That I could escape to a place untapped
That I could move and hide somewhere safely
But you don't care to listen, you haven't cared lately
That I wanted to escape somewhere new to sprout
That all I want is to simply get out

I think sometimes that I wish I wasn't me
I pray to God that He will see
That there is someone else I would rather be
That I could not feel so trapped and wallow about
That I could simply just get out

I sometimes drive home and it's quiet
Radio's out and now my head is a riot
I think the thoughts I think
And then my heart begins to sink
That this flesh I could begin to peel
If I just turn the steering wheel
Taking me to a different route
Finding a simple way to get out
Jun 2014 · 196
That Way
Harrison W Jun 2014
That way that you talk
About me and to me
Is like you think
You know everything there is
To know about me
How everything was that way
How it turned out that way
Like everything that happened
Was in your perspective
In your way
But you don't and it wasn't
And I wish you didn't think that way
And I wish we didn't go that way
Jun 2014 · 1.0k
Car Ride
Harrison W Jun 2014
I picked her up
One night
To take her on a trip

"Where's the radio?" she asked, "It's too **** quiet in here!"

On the radio went
And it played
The lovely music

"Do you like this song?" she asked

I told her I did
The song still
Rings in my ears to this day
May 2014 · 6.8k
A Dinner
Harrison W May 2014
Two people both alike in character
Of the opposite sexes
Sit across a candlelit dinner
In a lovely, fancy restaurant

The room is incandescently lit
With a dimness that balances between ever so bright and ever so dark
Allowing for a gold tinge to envelop the restaurant
But not gold enough to take away notice of the lit candle set upon the White table cloth

The waiter appears and asks the couple
What they would like for dinner
The couple order the food and drink
Much to the waiter's delight the food and drink is expensive

The waiter returns shortly
With a bottle of their finest Pinto Noir
And pours the blood-red wine slowly
Into each of the couple's glasses
And leaves the couple to sip upon their sweet sin delicately

The food is laid out
Triumphant in its debut
A vast smorgasbord of entries
Including frog legs, crab, and delicious ****** steak

The couple prepare their silverware for the battle that is eating

The man stabs his knife into the ****** steak
Cutting it open and spilling the juices all over his plate
He stabs the meat with the fork and guides it toward his mouth
And slowly but surely chomps upon it with the strength of his fine jaw
And swallows the meat into the unexposed mystery that is his stomach

The woman begins to mutilate the frog legs with her knife
Cutting into the once moveable limbs
And stabs the limbs with her fork and brings it to her mouth
And delicately bites the limbs and politely chews
And swallows it into her fine and precious insides

The couple then split the crab legs
Using their bear hands they split the shells open
And remove the meat or **** it right out of the shell
They swallow it whole and do nothing with the shell
Leaving the shell aside to be as still as a carcass

The waiter arrives and asks how the food was
The couple obliged him with their satisfaction
The bill is handed to them and the couple pay it
Leaving a hefty tip
They then leave the lovingly dimly lit restaurant
To enjoy the night that is ahead of them
May 2014 · 1.4k
My Perfect Society
Harrison W May 2014
In all honesty
I am not sure
What would form
My perfect society

If I were to say that everyone
Would get along
It'd be too cliche
Too stupid and mindless
Lacking elegance

I do believe it'd be nice
If everyone got along
That isn't my issue
It's just that it is unimaginable
The very idea that each and every
Single loony, *****, smart-*** person
Can get along is so disgustingly absurd
That it makes me want to throw up on the person that says

"Can't we all just get along?"

No!  No we can't you idiot
We can't get along because that is not how the world works

I'm not going to baby you with some philosophical ******* as to why
But I'll put it straight
We don't have it together
Us as humans don't have it together
We will never get along
Never be in peace
Unless we get it together

We humans will never get it together
It is impossible because failure
Is in our nature
Does that mean that we should give up?
No but perhaps learning that us humans
Can't do it alone is something that we can learn

The idea of my perfect society
Is nonexistent in practical terms
It is a mere wish of what any other
Good person would want the world to be
It is unattainable though without a miracle
May 2014 · 1.9k
I Wish I Could Save You
Harrison W May 2014
If I could do anything
Anything at all for you
I would save you

I would save you from
The torment that you feel
The constant feeling of failure
The way that you hate yourself
The way that you hate other people
The sad poems that tear me to shreds each and every time I read them

I would wipe that pain away
Wipe all the sadness and replaced it with joy
Take all that pain and turn it into love
Make you feel safe again
Make you feel whole not just a shadow of what you once were

But I can't

I am the aggressor
I make you feel the pain
I take you and break you down
I take your heart and **** it right in front of you
I make you feel cold, unprotected
I warp your world
I warp your self-perception

If I saw a shooting star
Or if God asked me what I could wish
I would wish that I could save you
But that sort of thing isn't realistic
I can't save you
But someone else will
I just hope it won't be too late
And that it's the right One
May 2014 · 476
The Meaning of Pain
Harrison W May 2014
It has been said that
Pain is the what makes those
Feel better
Feel something
An ability to possibly feel alive again

Those who decide to inflict pain on oneself
Are trying mainly to create
Mutilation
Possibly attention
Death
But in every circumstance it points to self-harm

Those people don't understand the true meaning of pain

Many people, scientists, family members, friends
Alike
Know that pain is merely the body trying to put itself back together
As in, the body trying to avoid self-harm

The irony is: people who want to feel alive through self-harm
Can't
The pain that people think is just simple pain
Isn't
The only true thing that self-harm can do is
Death

Oh how we are wonderfully made
Apr 2014 · 684
Stay Still and Say Nothing
Harrison W Apr 2014
I wander through the desolate streets
Remembering what I've always been taught to do

It's been passed down
Through generation to generation
Bloodline to bloodline
Taught to every child: boy, girl, black, white and everything in between
Stay still and say nothing

I walk passed the liquor store
Thinking about drinking away all my troubles
I see the folk standing outside
Hollering about how they're going to gain the money they need by robbing
I enter the liquor store buy myself a ***** and remember
Still still and say nothing

I continue my walk
Bottle in hand as I drink it down just a little
I walk passed two children
A black boy and a black girl
Yelling out "Where is my mama?"  "I can't find my mama!"
I see the dealer wave them over promising safety
I stop and take a second to think
I let the ***** get to my head and remember
Stay still and say nothing

I take my walk toward an alleyway
I see a young girl surrounded by large men
They approach her and seem to intimidate her
She looks at me with discomfort
But I don't notice, I'm too **** drunk to notice
I can't even hear her yell out
When I turn the corner and look back because I remember
Stay still and say nothing

I do just that and return home
Fall on my bed and finish every drop of that *****
Then I fall asleep on my back and die by choking on my own *****
Stay still and say nothing
Apr 2014 · 305
The World is on Fire
Harrison W Apr 2014
Within the fire
There is destruction
Burning the homes
Of the destitute souls
Crawling and begging for death

"Answer me!" they say, "Come down and cool our tongues."
Though no one comes
They stay alone in there sadness
Empty in the dark
Gritting their teeth as they try to crawl their way out
But they cannot reach nor feel relief
They never will again

Within the fire
There is light
Guiding the way home
To those who search for it
Returning back to open arms

"Never will I fear again!" they say, "I will never thirst again."
They take feast
At a seat amongst the highest table
Their images clear and bright
Taking the food in which they enjoy but no longer need
Feeling no pain and suffering
They never will again

The world is on fire
Fire leads the way
The way to destruction or the way home
The way home is wide open
Open to those that use the fire to find it
Apr 2014 · 443
More Than Human
Harrison W Apr 2014
I think as humans
That we were meant for more
Than we had bargained for
That we are worth more
Than we could ever see ourselves be worth
I think that we are simply meant to be
More than human

Think of being just a human
What are you when you are human?
Maybe you are a slave to the idea of money
A slave to the idea of the approval of others
A slave to the weakness of your own flesh
Or maybe you are just a slave to emptiness

As a human you are
weak
pathetic
a nerd
a dumb ****
a fat girl
a queer
a problem
a flaw that spreads from a speck to a blemish on what was once pure

We were meant for more than this
We are here to love and to be loved
We are here to be slaves to joy and love
No one can ever escape from slavery
So one should be a slave to something more powerful than oneself

We are more than human
We are purpose
We are children
We are the brothers and sisters put here on this Earth
To love God and through Him love one another

We were meant to be better than what we are
And many of us have lost the way
Maybe one day they will be found
And maybe then they can become more than human
Apr 2014 · 839
The Definition of Me
Harrison W Apr 2014
There are many ways that you can define me:
Womanizer
Selfish
Crazy
Distasteful
Despicable
I will tell you this that how you define me is not me

I am privileged to say
That I can define myself
That everybody has the right to define themselves
But the problem is
We are blinded by our own definitions of self

We parish by our own definitions
We stare at ourselves and our pasts only make us see
Disappointment
Ugliness
Self-loathing
Sadness
Pain

Pain is the one we've grown so accustomed to
An old phrase says it is best to feel pain
Instead of nothing
But I would rather keep feeling joy forever
Rather than feel a needle of pain again

I feel hollowness
I feel the pain of my past
The darkness of my past
Reach up and consume me
Drag me in and tear me apart
Piece by piece
Until I think I know my definition of self
And I feel numb

I ponder my thoughts
Try to see beyond
I feel sad and alone
But then...

I see a bunch of figures
Bright
Peaceful
Joyous
Without the pain
Though they were once like me

I asked them what they did
How they saved themselves
From this pain
They lead me to the Truth
And left it wide open for me

I feel calm
At peace
At rest with myself

I remember how I once defined myself
My past
My failures
My sins
I now know that it doesn't define me

I am a child
I am a follower
I am a disciple
I am beautiful
I am perfected
I am an image
I am the definition of me that I have always wanted
Mar 2014 · 577
The Castle Tower
Harrison W Mar 2014
Once upon a time
There was a little girl
Who grew up as happy as can be
She laughed a lot
Played with her friends
And had a father a mother
Who loved her very much

One day though
She began to see all was wrong
All was very wrong
And decided to lock herself
In a castle tower

In the castle tower
She was very lonely
She longed for company
For people to come see her
To ask how her day was
And let her know that they cared

She decided that she was
Going to let someone in

One day a man came to
The castle tower
He was a handsome young man
And he promised her
That he would care for her
That he would love her
And that he will fulfill
What she lacks

She pondered her decision and decided
To let him in

He cared for her a first
He made her whole
Made her happy
But one day he turned on her
And he ***** her
He ***** her of everything she had
He drained her of her body
And took from her body
Every amount of happiness she ever had

The man left her
Battered, bruised, bleeding
She could barely stand up
She cried for help
But there was no one there
To help her

Over time she began to heal
Her bruising and bleeding went away
But she always had a limp
A limp that could never heal

She found that she missed the man
She missed the way he cared for her
She missed the way he loved her
She missed the way he held her
And calmed her fears

One day she decided
That she couldn't take
How isolated she was anymore
She wanted to find someone just like him

She decided that she was
Going to let someone in

One day another man came to
The caste tower
He promised her as much
As the first man did and more
He convinced her that he would
Make her overflow
With the things
That she lacks

She pondered her decision and decided
To let him in

He took care of her first
Held her consistently
Even helped try
To fix her limp the best he could
The limp became frustrating to him
So he ***** her

The **** was worse than before
He cut her body with knives
While he pumped her
And made her scream in agony
All she felt during the ****
Was the humiliation
And shame that it caused her

He left her
Forever scarred
Forever battered
And forever ******
She never looked the same
And could never walk again

She decided that
There was no good
And decided to lock herself
In the castle tower
Forever

One day another man came to
The castle tower
He was a genuine
With a kind soul
And kept calling her out
To let him in
But no matter how many times he called
She would never let him in
Mar 2014 · 398
Somewhere, I Exist
Harrison W Mar 2014
If I am not there
Then I don't exist
But even when I am there
I don't exist

The hollowness that surrounds
My existence is ever-present
Constantly pushing and pulling
Tugging me in unforeseen directions

This way
That way
Rip him apart
Please stop

I gotta find a place to run
I gotta find a place somewhere
I have to exist, I can't disappear
Please let me exist

Don't let me disappear
Feb 2014 · 580
I Own You
Harrison W Feb 2014
I can take your body wherever
I want it to go
I slap you around
Kick you down
You come back begging me for more

You're lovesick
If you knew ****
Then you'd know it's best
To listen when I say to leave me alone
But you can't comprehend
And don't understand
That I have lips of deceit

I control you
I'm the darkness
I'm the monster
That you can only dream
I'm on another level
I am the ultimate
I am the superior being

I **** the minds
Of everyone that I find
That opens the door for me
I step inside
See the pathetic insecurity cry
And I hit it and hit it and hit it and hit it

I hit it until it screams louder!
I hit it until it bleeds from its face!
I hit it until it wishes it were dead!
I hit it until it's in its place!

I don't control you because I just come up
I'm the darkness because I was created this way
I'm a monster because I wish I wasn't this way
I'm on another level because I've been wronged
By the wretched vermin that have been built

You're just like the rest!
A liar!
A faker!
A loser!
An idiot!
A ****!
You should beg to be in my presence
I am the ultimate
The superior being

You can't run
I've got you
I own you
I possess you
You can't go anywhere
My dear dear there's no escaping it
I'm here
You're only here to die
So stay with me
Feb 2014 · 500
The Pedestal
Harrison W Feb 2014
You are one
That I worship
Better than me
For I am nothing but a lowly servant

My arms reach to be in your presence
You outstretch yours to pull me up
You are above me even when I'm up
You still control me, you have me

I am at near your level
I have achieved you, yet I am not your equal
You are a nirvana that could not be reached
As I wrap my hands around you

My desire
My wish
My everything
My somniferum

You aren't real though
You never were
You were something that I created
In my imagination

I made you
Because I needed the myth
And I discovered
As bad as I want to
I can never make you real
Jan 2014 · 667
You are worth it
Harrison W Jan 2014
When I look at myself
all I can see is
*******
arrogant
*****
I learned this from you

I taught you that nothing you ever did was good enough
not for you
or anyone else
You would never be enough

I take the words right out of your poem
Because they speak truth
I look back at what I did
with constant shame
That I could be so hateful toward someone that I cared about

I hope you don't think that what I taught you
is what love is
To **** someone completely dry
of everything they have
Until one has power over the other

I hope you know love is beautiful
and not something that you should fear
That it's to be wrapped in compassion and loving arms
Not pointing fingers and accusations

I'm sorry that you remember my anger
My ridiculous pleading for you to follow
impossible commands
I'm sorry that you remember my words
Those words were horrible
I always wish that I could change that

You are right, you owe me nothing
But I owe you something
I owe you an apology for everything I've done
For all the lies
For all the humiliation
For all the hateful words
And for all the times that I made you question your self worth

My only hope is that you can forgive me
but you have no reasons to because I can't even forgive myself
Sometimes it's so bad that I can't sleep
I've often thought about contacting you
and apologizing before but I heard you don't want to see me
So I try to keep it that way

I'm sorry you had to teach yourself to love who you are
You shouldn't have needed to do that
I'm glad you were strong enough to reassemble the pieces
I don't know if I could do that if someone did that to me

I also want to let you know something
That you were right about a lot of things
And that our current state is completely my fault
And to also thank you for trying to be my friend
Because I wouldn't have wanted to be my friend

Finally I want to let you know this
That you are completely right
You are beautiful
You are loveable
And you are worth a lot more of something than I'll ever be
No one will ever change that
Dec 2013 · 558
You Left Me
Harrison W Dec 2013
I remembered every movie I've ever seen with you
I remembered every date I used to go on with you
Every restaurant
Every park
Every time we shared I remembered

Sometimes I wished I could have an eternal sunshine
But sometimes I wanted to hold on to the memories we made
Even though they tortured me daily
And I was left mostly of the memory of the day you left me

I was scared
Terrified
Every second of that day felt like a repeated stab to the stomach
And with each moment before it would fade I just wanted to keep it there
Then you told me and gutted me

My insides laid out before you
What I am truly laid out before you
And you turned around
And you left me

I told you that it was alright
That I can put myself back together
It wasn't the first time I've been cut open
It'd be easy to seal up the wound this time

But I can't
The wound is too deep
Parts of it my fault and part of it yours
It won't go back in

Now my insides are nothing
First they rotted
Then they disintegrated
Now all I am left with is nothing but hollow emptiness
Nov 2013 · 2.2k
Filth
Harrison W Nov 2013
I'm fading away
Fading fast
Hoping I won't disappear
Into nowhere

Girls and ***
Lust and regrets
Drugs and coke
Drinks and rage
Are some things that I sink into

The sin that I own
I pray for it to wash away
Only to get ***** again
I pray for it to wash away
Get *****
          Wash away
                               Get *****
                                                Wash away
                                                                      Get *****
                                                                                        Wash away
                                                                                  Get *****
                                                                              Wash away
                                                                     Get *****
                                                            Wash away
                                                    Get *****
                                         Wash away
                                      Get *****
                                                Wash away
                                                                  Get *****
                                                                           Wash away
                                                                       Get *****
                                                                   Wash away
                                                           Get *****
                                                                               Wash away
                                                                                                    Get *****
                                                                                                            Again
                                                                                                    And again
                                                                                              And again

Finally can't get clean
Can't stop
Each day gets messier and messier
Filth protrudes in my fingernails
Filth protrudes inside my body

I don't want to get clean
I want to be messy
I want to be nasty
I want to be *****
I'm filthy and I love to be filthy
I feel sick
But I love it

I don't need saving
I don't need anybody or anything
I only need the filth
I can't live without the filth
I want to disappear in the filth
I want to go away in it
Nov 2013 · 419
The Divine Process
Harrison W Nov 2013
I sit in front of my computer
Looking at the blank screen in front of me
Waiting for God to create something for me
And put it in my head

I don't put an ounce of thought
I don't take the careful precision
That is necessary to write a decent poem
I just sit down and write whatever comes to my mind

And when that creativity comes
I mix it in with a little bit of confusing
Jumbles
And
Mispalled words
To throw others off
And attempt to be more effective by adding a bit of italic and bold
As well as add symbolism like a donkey licking the outer rim of my ****

Then when others ask about what I mean
I give some stupid answer
Or if I really want to sound smart
Just say it means nothing at all

Then the people reading my poems praise me
And call my work a masterpiece
And then they wonder why the next few things I put out is ****
Nov 2013 · 495
Mystic
Harrison W Nov 2013
She washed up to shore
By the guiding waves of the river
She was stiff she was cold
Like the deathly chills of winter

She just fell through
Didn't even make a sound
Just watched the life leave her
While she gave up and drowned

But she struggled before
And she flailed and she cried
She cried "Help me!"
And she cried "Save me!"
But the people, they passed
Watched her gasp and laugh
And they looked away
They had nothing to say

I saw the beast
Watch her from the hall
Thought she was easy
So he gave her a call

She did her hair and her make-up
Picked her up in his pickup truck
She didn't want to at all
But then she just gave up

But she struggled before
And she flailed and she cried
She cried "Help me!"
And she cried "Save me!"
But the people, they passed
Watched her gasp and laugh
And they looked away
They had nothing to say

From beginning they hit her
And they never let up
She always tried to run
But couldn't and she was stuck

They held her down
Put a blow-torch near her face
And they taught her a lesson
Put her in her place

But she struggled before
And she flailed and she cried
She cried "Help me!"
And she cried "Save me!"
But the people, they passed
Watched her gasp and laugh
And they looked away
They had nothing to say
She threw herself away
So they'd have something to say
Oct 2013 · 538
Another Stupid Love Poem
Harrison W Oct 2013
This poem is stupid
It is idiotic
And makes no sense
More than likely
It is me tossing in my two cents
Into what I believe that love is

Honestly I don't see why we talk about what love is
Rather than what is does
If love didn't exist
This poem wouldn't exist
And therefore it would be nothing
But meaningless dribble that you wouldn't have checked out in the first place

Absolutely there is more to love
It's a fact, good ol' Paul said it best
But it still doesn't take away the logical stupidity of it
But maybe it's thanks to that stupidity that we are here in the first place
Maybe love is pointless, stupid, idiotic, and absolutely doesn't deserve to be here
But it's still here like us
Oct 2013 · 2.5k
Between Her Thighs
Harrison W Oct 2013
She looks into my eyes with hope
I see her smile, she knows what is coming
I fake a smile back to pretend
Her breathing becomes heavy as I move forward

She grabs my back with her hands
And pulls me on top of her *******
She whispers, "I love you"
I return the favor

To her I am a miracle
To me I am a pretender
A faker who finds her thighs to be a prison
To be trapped in a place where I don't want to be

It'd be easy to release myself
But why would I
When the prison feels so good
When I'd feel the same in between every other pair of thighs

Maybe it is because I'm broken
Maybe it is because I never cared in the first place
Maybe it is because of the one I lost
Maybe I'm just not meant to enjoy it

I finish as I watch her smile in satisfaction
I get off of her and sit on the foot on the bed
She sits up and slowly kisses my neck
I don't in return and gaze off trying to find the hope I once had
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