what does it mean to be free?
what does it mean to have heart?
what does it mean to have feelings?
what does it mean to have love?
what does it mean to have time?
what does it mean to live, to breath, to sing,
to dance, to run, to play, to do anything?
what does it mean?

I watch the shadows. I watch for light. Listen for calls. And  wait and wait. Then the phone rang and heard death himself saying, "Its time to hit the road for you. Say goodbye. Your fears await.". And then I woke up in a place I have never seen.  Field of gray weeds and a single dirt road.   I see a door in the middle of the road not far from me. I look around and it looks like I am in the middle of nowhere. No cars or animals. It's nothing but me and a door in the road. Nothing in the front or behind it but I hear screams coming from it. I opened it  and there is nothing but pitch black nothingness just as I feared. Darkness. All of a sudden arm made of the darkness grabbed me and pulled me in. And I was drowning.
But then I woke up in a room that looked like an insane asylum room. The ones that are made of pillows.  It seems old. The lighting in there was faintly red you could barely see but on the other side, there was a man. You can hear him humming "Hush Little Baby".  I tried to move and scream or something. But I couldn't I had a straight jacket on and my mouth closed tight with rope.
Then he said "Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. You're ok. You're here. Where you belong." Then he softly laughs this heavy, dark laugh.  He pulls out a pair of bolt cutters. Then he whispers "fear is is your weakness but my strength" he grabs my toe tightly slowly rips it from my body. I cry and try to scream. Then he walks out of the room. something goes off then the room starts to smell funny. I start to feel tired.  I woke up again back in the place I was before with the door staring at me calling my name.  My toe was still attached. I slowly back away,and run the opposite direction but everywhere i go it leads back to it.I fear that i I might have to go back to it. I open the door. the arms pulls me in. then I woke up in my bed cold sweat running down my face. pitch black in my room i stare at the clock it s 3:30 am.  I curl up my bed and cry. Today I write  this story to warn you.

If you can love the wrong person that much,
Imagine how much you can love the right one •

Why do I live with my sorrow and pain....
Why do I cry when time slows down....
Why do I cut when I am low in self esteem....
Why do I see death around every corner....
Why do I watch elders wither away and wish I could too....
Why do I panic when I am alone....
Why do I stare at the moon while it looks at me....
Why do I stop before I jump....
Why do I do anything if it going to end up a mistake....
Why do I have to be me....
Why....
Just why....

when i die,
all the cherry blossoms fly in the wind,
when i die,
the lightning makes no thunder,
when i die,
every willow will weep,
when i die,
the blue sky will fade to grey,
when i die,
no one will cry,
when i die,
my dreams for reality will fade.

all weapons have there abilities,
A dagger has stealth,
A blade has speed,
A sword has it strength,
An axe has power,
But each has a person,
An assassin has a dagger,
A ninja has a blade,
A knight has it sword,
a headsman has an axe,
Each have there jobs,
assassins **** the bad,
ninjas **** to save,
knights **** to guard,
a headsman  to behead.
in my dream i was all,
but in the end i was the beheaded.