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nishta Aug 11
why does she get what i want?
why is she always at the centre
without even trying?
she keeps quiet
and smiles
and everybody flocks to her.
whereas, i
i go out of my way,
out of my comfort zone,
give my all,
for naught.
at the end of they day,
she is always the one.
the one that everybody prefers.

i feel petty and worthless

and when envy rears it's **** head,
i'm the one in the shadows.
unnoticed and unloved.
what is it that she has that gets everybody to notice her that i don't have?
i feel so **** when i feel jealous. She's a good person but...
nishta Jul 25
i etched the shape of an eye
on the sidewalk
but the chalk was washed away
the dust running in rivulets
down the street.
lost it's way,
lost it's reason.
been feeling quite lost for quite sometime.
what am i even doing with my life?
nishta Jul 17
she was chai
exotic and thrilling.
i was addicted
drowning in her spices
her taste overwhelming me
engulfing me
but while i craved her
wanted her
she could never fulfil
the thirst in me.

i am parched
and i have no water.
chai=tea
nishta Jul 10
when i was younger
i never understood the saying
'ignorance is bliss.'
how can one not want to know more about the world?
now that i've matured,
now that i've experienced the horrors of this world,
the fear has entrapped me.
disgusted, i fled.
i fled to my safe place
but when i reached,
i found it to be tainted.
no longer did it bring me comfort.
my mind has become paranoid.
every single movement
every single moment
has brought me to my edge.
i now understand.
i just wish to be naïve again
to forget the terrors,
to live in my cocoon,
i sometimes wish i'd stayed inside
my mother's womb,
never to come out.
nishta Jul 5
grab your bags
let go of your inhibitions
and let's leave.
leave this town
leave this city
and break free from our shackles, our chains.

we'll run by fields of gold
bask in the warmth of dusk
wade through the weeks of cold
and reach the crossroad of life.

together,
all the way.
i've always wanted to run away from city life and just explore nature and be with nature and just live.
nishta Jul 3
i'm standing at the sidelines
worn down and tired
watching my life blur past me.
life is such a fleeting thing.
nishta Jun 19
i can't imagine
a life without you.
without your beautiful smile
filling me with warmth.

you are what i look for in every person.
you are what i hope i can be someday.
your whole embodiment is the only thing i wish to see,
when all else is dark.

being so far away from you
it strips me.
it tires me.
i am feverish without you.

everyday i think about us.
i just want to be with you
do mundane things with you,
not worry about if you were ever to die.

i'd be nothing if it weren't for you
i love you.
i just want to see my sister. i want to grow old with her. Everyday apart and my heart just bleeds for her. i miss her so much.
just something i wrote when i was very emotional.
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