at the end of the day,
it all comes down
to the greed of others.
an invisible possession,
that eats at the souls,
of jealous human beings.
it almost feels wrong to call them humans.
as they do not deserve
to lower the bar
for the people who are genuine,
who have passion,
who have worked for what they have.
they're the tarnished silverware,
the rotten fruits,
and the broken computers,
that deserve to be thrown out.
the more time passes.
the less i understand you.
you flirt with me,
and i give you the same energy back.
then the next time i see you,
you're wearing a turtleneck that's purple and red.
you avoid my glances in the halls,
yet i can feel your stare,
when you dont think i notice.
im honestly quite fed up.
and just the minute that i stop caring,
i feel you staring at me with intention.
you want me to look up at you.
but someone else,
had their arms slung around my shoulders.
the jealousy is oozing from your pores,
but your pride wipes it all away
and i pretend i can't see the stains it left behind
we once walked together,
through the red arches.
we giggled from the fumes,
created by our chemistry.
the tension between us,
the good kind of tension.
we sipped liquid gold together,
as you observed my every move,
analyzing the way i reacted to the way
you said things.
don't think that i didn't notice.
your subtle gestures of chivalry,
earned you brownie points,
though, you were sweet enough that
you didn't need them.
the last time i saw you,
the moment i bid you goodbye,
was as i passed underneath those
as if the arches were the threshold
of my lucid dreams.
it's the complete opposite of sweater weather,
and for once,
i'm enjoying it.
feeling the hot sand between my toes,
the contrast of the cool waves lapping at my body
as i soak up the sun before i get in,
the all too familiar smell of sunscreen,
that lingers all the way home till i shower off the salt
that formed onto my skin.
the routine that i get into,
clears my head,
making me relish the remaining time i have of it:
the sweet smile of the waitresses once i order my coffee,
already making more plans even when i'm out of the house,
posting pictures of how great i look
without the crippling pressure of school
that weighs down my shoulders.
truly, i don't know how i manage,
when the time eventually rolls around to wear sweaters
cleary here isn't where i wanna be
let's fast forward time
so that i could have more of an idea
of what i'm supposed to accomplish
who i'm supposed to meet
what i need to go through
to truly reap what i sow
grab my shoulders and shake
maybe that'll help for the time being
but i guess for now
i'll feel the entropy violently increase
as each minute goes by
half these lines were thanks to the arctic monkeys, so thank you.
there might be a fire in the distance
it's a lingering fear
that it'll come near here
thought, it's inevitable
just like my fear of the flames
that will sear my skin
and fill my lungs with smoke
i'm afraid of the fire
that you'll rekindle
in the depths of my soul
it seems as if it was only yesterday
that it was my first day of kindergarten
i dont remember what i wore
or what i had for breakfast
or who i sat next to in class
though i do remember
how my date stood me up at prom
or that time i snuck out with my friends
to drink *****
amd explore the forest with strangers
alone in the dark
just as how the years have gone by
and i cant remember with immense detail
what happened in kindergarten
soon the things that matter to me now
might not mean the same
in a couple of years time