like the steadiness before a jump scare
in those cliché horror films.
how long has it been, since... since--
how am i to finish my words if i cant--?
a thought replays on its own,
like myself, alone.
like a broken vinyl skipping, skipping
over the same line, it repeats.
& i cannot think-- focus-- think.
a single thought, repeating,
suddenly it evaporates.
& when i--
a new one,
gently floating in like a ship through the fog in the night
until it too, sinks.
it's too hot
it's too cold.
god, the ache, it aches.
how am i to explain if i keep dropping--
if they keep falling?
nothing but the eerie hum,
of that thing-- what thing-- what is that called again?
i can't seem to hold on
how am i to finish if i can't--?
my eyes are bruised & swollen
it's not safe to open the gate here,
i just need to-- want to-- have to cry
but i don't know what's there
just like the thoughts keep slipping,
they disappear too.
where are they?
i seem to have misplaced it.
the wires are unplugged,
where have the wires gone?
how can i finish
if i can't
what was i saying-- doing-- thinking?
.................... oh, it's raining outside..