a burning passion
so hot
it set my heart on fire
a freezing distance
so cold
it froze the tears in my eyes
a yearn for friction
so urgent
my skin cried for love

today i set aside
all the pain you've given me
and daydreamed about
all the days you've spent with me
about feathery kisses
and gentle touches
paint splatters
and pencil smudges
blurry photos
on an old camera
of a vanilla sweet boy
far more than average
soft hands holding mine
pressed together
fingers entwined

She had the breath of a raging storm
Quick, forceful, and cloudy
Running through frosted fields
Icy grass, sparkling and trampled
Running from her fears, worries, and responsibilities
The red canvas of her shoes bled darker with melting ice
Her bare skin was on fire, covered in burning needles
Running towards the breath of dawn
Only to meet the silence of the moon
Placed in an open, endless sky

The things I’d tell you
If I had the courage
I’d look you in the eyes
“**** you,” I’d say
“**** it all”
I **** the day
That I said I loved you
**** the day
That you pressed your lips to my skin
**** the day you put your arms around me
**** that look in your eyes
Sparkling and beaming
**** that smile
**** the words you told me
When you told me I was beautiful
**** the day
You fell asleep beside me
And I told you all the truths I could never say
**** the touches we shared
Soft and fearful
**** your lips
That pretty mouth of yours
Spewing lies that tasted like cherry
**** the cold days
That I wore your clothes
**** those warm days
Of summers by the creek
**** the day your fingers traced my wrist
And you spoke to me softly
**** those days you made me smile
Just so I’d miss you when you leave
**** the day you said goodbye
And you wished me the best
**** the final day I cried
And **** all the rest

To my only lover
I’d like you to know
That all those I times
I made myself hurt
I did it because of you

To my only lover
Despite your asking
Despite my lies
I did it because of you
I’d like you to know

To my only lover
The pain I felt
Didn’t feel like pain anymore
But it still hurt my heart
I’d like you to know that

To my only lover
I don’t regret it
I feel not a single drop
Of remorse
For what I’ve done to myself
I’d like you to know
It was all because of you

Your inside of my brain
Inside of me
I feel the pain
Internally

I want you out
From my body
I need you out
I want you to leave

Inside my heart
Inside my veins
Maybe I can cut you out
I don’t mind the pain

What a waste
What a shame
You’re consuming me
Driving me insane

How long
Until you see
That you’re slowly
Killing me

Please go away
Let me be
Let me go back to the future
Of which we used to dream