Emptiness sits inside of me. Like my body is a fragile frame, ready to shatter at any given moment. If you listen close enough you'd hear the echoes rattle through my framework. The echoes of my thoughts, my words and the ever-growing silence. You see I can feel the words, they manifest inside of me, like they’ve been tattooed to my skin but are invisible to everyone else around me. I reach out for help, and yet its only just out of reach. Love slips through my fingers and I watch it go. Sometimes I wonder if this body is even still mine, or if it's just on loan. I've become an imitation of what I once used to be. An imposter, a fake, a phony. In a haze I feel like I've left my body, like the casing of my body is still here but I'm not. The only way to describe it is as if I'm drifting. Like if the wind was to pick up strong enough it'd take me away, and I think I'd be okay with that.
She lit the flame at the end of his lipstick stained cigarette, smoking it was like kissing her all over again. The smoke burnt his eyes and scratched his throat, attempting to breathe the oxygen just wasn’t there. She suffocated him.
Their love like a cigarette, set alight and raised to rebellious lips. Their romantic tragedy like smoking in the rain, It was painfully beautiful yet short lived. She became his addiction, little by little she consumed him. If only he could quit her. His lungs would not ache when he’s alone.
Unlike his cigarettes, she didn’t come with a warning label on the cover. She did more damage to him than the cigarettes ever could.
So, he left her and returned to his lipstick stained cigarettes. She left a hole in him no amount of nicotine could ever fill. Now he lights cigarettes just to watch them burn.
One-minute left, time is running out I keep my eyes closed, the darkness is comforting. Down here life is different. My eyes open, she’s there. Her beauty distorted by the water. She’s not the same, something is different. I blink, she raises her finger to her lips and hushes me. She silenced the screams in my head.
I’ve learnt to keep my eyes open underwater, I don’t want to miss a single second of her. Time seems to move slower under the waters surface, I hadn’t noticed until now. An eternity passed while I stared at her. Memorising the details, every flaw noted. Because I know the next time I close my eyes, She’ll leave, and the darkness takes over.