jay: Poems

Mar 2021 · 310

a new definition of sober

jay Mar 2021

a new definition of sober

a simple i love you
and under stars, a-flight

but she is a name on a gravestone;
and he was drunk that night.

Mar 2021 · 692

losing myself hurts worse then when i lost you

jay Mar 2021

losing myself hurts worse then when i lost you

i would write you a love song
with your name in every verse
but you would never hear it
it would only make me hurt

polaroid love
kept in a case
as dull as the sky
on our final days

Dec 2020 · 509

the color of suffocation

jay Dec 2020

the color of suffocation

i dyed my hair pink
it was supposed to be purple because i couldn’t dye it green
the developer...or whatever it’s called
is still under my sink
makes me think

and at three a.m. i’ll die again or at least try to dye
they both are very different things that still feel quite alright
so i fall to sleep with blue hair and hope that i just might

xoxo catch you later on the next flight

signed- jay

Dec 2020 · 192

THE ENDING 2

jay Dec 2020

THE ENDING 2

Life is like a fair
That only lets in white people with blue eyes and blond hair
And ******* and small waists
Let's cut-paste the same face
The same smile
The same type
That's been stuck here for a while

Dec 2020 · 213

THE ENDING 1

jay Dec 2020

THE ENDING 1

I'm gonna take over your heart
As soon as I get the ***** to try
Ima re-arrange the alphabet
And then take "U" and "I"
And put a bit of space between 'em
And hope that nobody cries

Dec 2020 · 170

jesus christ 2

jay Dec 2020

jesus christ 2

father, I just don't know what to make, you know
Of all these tiny specks with so much **** to ******* say
And father, I just hope that we don't fall apart and break

It'd be great if we didn't relive 1938 to '45
Man, there's just nothing we could change......
AND
if I'm not a giant *****, does that just mean that I am saved?

Jesus Christ, you're super nice
How could you let me burn?
If I'm not murdering people, then smashing their ******* urn.

Dec 2020 · 162

jesus christ 1

jay Dec 2020

jesus christ 1

Jesus Christ seems super nice
I wonder if he'd love me
How come I only wonder when I'm sad or really hungry?
Jesus Christ, you're super nice
But don't expect much from me,
I Would kneel down, but I'm afraid that I would just feel nothing
Praise God
(And other things that don't make sense to puny minds)
Like ours designing roller coasters
that almost always seem to fall apart

Dec 2020 · 104

3%

jay Dec 2020

3%

I think that they'll love me
Even if my soul is tainted and ugly
Tainted enough where no one should ever want stuff from me
But I'm lucky, lovely people say such nice things for no reason
Except for the songs that I sing
When I was eighteen, I ******* prayed to God
That one day, I'll sing and the crowd would stop
But I'm still waiting

Dec 2020 · 122

father

jay Dec 2020

father

.My dad taught me 'bout
the monsters
That roam the depths of your head
Sometimes they'll make you real sad or
Or real real mad, or real real jealous

My father's married to a shape shifting monster
Who can sometimes take the form
Of a really really really nice woman
And although it seems super ******* frightening
Sometimes this scary monster makes
A really really great vanilla pudding

Dec 2020 · 74

Untitled

jay Dec 2020

Untitled

Love you like my dad loved my mom
Before they realized they don't love each other at all
I love you like the stars love lonely eyes
On seven consecutive Friday nights

I love you like I really love to **** things up
And cops love to do things, that is super unnecessary
Really look into the real history it has ******* caused a lot of problems for the general world

Rei, I miss you, so much
So much dude
**** I don't even know what to say
Umm, yep I miss your face.

Dec 2020 · 116

sex in the city

jay Dec 2020

*** in the city

Beautiful people only live in downtown
And midtown and not around where I stay
Is it their brain that really matters
Or their character that flatters
Or dependent on their beautiful face

*** in the city
Probably feels really really nice
With hands placed on faces and twinkles in their eyes.

Dec 2020 · 69

Creve Coeur 1

jay Dec 2020

Creve Coeur 1

He was the picture perfect person
loved my mother oh so dearly
You could feel the love reverberate wherever in our building
If it'd feel the same today I wish I know
Sometimes you drive a car and lose control: into poles

hold me closely
i...dont think you should love me
cuz it always feels so lonely
knowing that nothing will ever last forever...

sorry frank youre much too late

Dec 2020 · 357

romeo and juliet

jay Dec 2020

romeo and juliet

but soft, what light: thru yonder window breaks
tis' the east but Juliet just puked off of the balcony
wow...im sure that we could do this forever
or until she drinks the poison
cuz she sees some cloudy weather
as rosaline lies in bed
seething, wide awake
because his burning love for juliet only took a day.

Nov 2020 · 135

i just learned the f- word :)

jay Nov 2020

i just learned the f- word :)

******* and **** your mom
she called me a ***** when i was way too young
and
******* and **** your friends
i'd never heard half of those slurs until i met them
.
******* cuz your ******* narcissistic
abuse me, use me, you're making me sick
so
******* for what you did
and even more ******* for what you didnt

Nov 2020 · 317

i feel lost

jay Nov 2020

i feel lost

i mean aren't i supposed to know
where to go and how to feel
what happens? when i'm abandoned.
on this raft in a sea called my emotions
im afloat but my heart is drowning.
i still alive but the sharks are surrounding.
the same sharks that feed
on the broken moments in my head
AS I LAY IN MY BED
i lay, in my bed and stare at the ceiling
convincing myself its okay to be mistreated
is it

and i wish i could be someone. to him to her and to anyone. to you all thats reading this thank you for spending your time reading here. you are loved

#drowning #lost #know #feel #abandoned #sea #emotions #sad #broken #thoughts

Nov 2020 · 114

HEYO

jay Nov 2020

HEYO

im back :0

Apr 2020 · 112

?

jay Apr 2020

?

Sigh and slave
Sigh and slave
I'm wasting away
We're wasting away

Apr 2020 · 111

NO ONE FOLLOW

jay Apr 2020

NO ONE FOLLOW

I HAVE 69 FOLLOWERS, KEEP IT THAT WAY.

Apr 2020 · 139

Help

jay Apr 2020

Help

.Roses are dead,
Violets are crying.
I'm stuck in the hospital,
They say that I'm dying.

Apr 2020 · 88

sleep

jay Apr 2020

sleep

.Here in this forest
so dark and deep
I offer my child,
his eternal sleep.

Apr 2020 · 86

im bored

jay Apr 2020

im bored

My eyes behold a beauty I do not deserve.
You must surely be a heavenly angel sent from the Divine Being.
You are, without doubt, the bravest i have met,
and if you would but allow it, I would ease your pain and suffering. You have somehow taken hold of my heart, and for
that, you will forever have my honor and my love.

Feb 2020 · 140

ABC trippy time

jay Feb 2020

ABC trippy time

A- you're adorable
B- you're the best
C- you're cute
D- you're dear to me
E- you're excellent
F- you're fine ;)
G- you're great
H- hehehe
I- I'm
J- just
k- kidding!

Feb 2020 · 92

the record player song

jay Feb 2020

the record player song

Someone look me up and define me
Please remind me

who I’m ‘sposed to be around you
so you will do what i want you to

I’m always winning the wrong game
I don’t remember my real name

Feb 2020 · 84

For Valentines Day (2)

jay Feb 2020

For Valentines Day (2)

Can i Borrow a Kiss?
I Promise to Give it Back.

Feb 2020 · 1.4k

BeCaUsE i SpEnD tOo MuCh TiMe On TiKtOk

jay Feb 2020

BeCaUsE i SpEnD tOo MuCh TiMe On TiKtOk

I know
you belong to somebody new
but tonight you belong to me

Feb 2020 · 219

For Valentines Day (1)

jay Feb 2020

For Valentines Day (1)

I wish
You'd Listen Closer
To the Songs That I Play
'Cause the Lyrics Speak
The Words I Fail to say.

i wanna be cheesy. DONT JUDGE ME

Feb 2020 · 86

THIS IS MY CONFESSION

jay Feb 2020

THIS IS MY CONFESSION

.our relationship,
     was filled with toxic chemicals
          that
    s l o w l y
b u t
       s u r e l y
                        Crept Into my Body,
                                                             My Head,
                                                                                 and My Heart
Like Your Love Never Did.

Jan 2020 · 111

Watch Me Cry

jay Jan 2020

Watch Me Cry

.Take Me Away.
D R Y M Y E Y E S
.Bring the color back to my skies.

Jan 2020 · 145

.*+ drunk +*.

jay Jan 2020

.*+ drunk +*.

intoxicated by sadness
in love with madness

I HAD NO FREAKING CLUE WHAT TO NAME THIS SO YEA

Jan 2020 · 64

Why should I fall apart for you?

jay Jan 2020

Why should I fall apart for you?

I gave you the world, you threw it away
Leaving these broken pieces behind you
Everything wasted, nothing to say
Why should I go and fall apart for you?
but i still do...

Why should I have a heavy heart?
Why should I start to break in pieces?
Why should I go and fall apart for you?

Jan 2020 · 61

Dear ME

jay Jan 2020

Dear ME

Dear me,
You know what? I hate you. I hate you more than anyone else does. The ONLY reason you are alive is because is to look after the important ones, the ones who need looking after. The ones who actually matter. but you cant even do that properly, can you? You FAIL at absolutely EVERYTHING and disappoint everyone... You deserve every single scar you have given yourself. You deserve all this pain. I hate you. Your ugly, worthless, and pathetic. Stupid and disgusting. Your easily replaced and forgotten. i hate you. I Hate You. I HATE YOU.
sincerely me
.

Jan 2020 · 38

in my eyes

jay Jan 2020

in my eyes

i wish you were still
just a human to me
i dont want to look at you
and see my mind flooded with poetry

Jan 2020 · 37

love like the sea

jay Jan 2020

love like the sea

we return to each other
in waves
this is how water loves

Jan 2020 · 35

stuck behind a screen

jay Jan 2020

stuck behind a screen

im sick of all this
"how'd you get your username?"
"is that your real first name?"
"can u text and can u follow back
cuz its my birthday?"

no one cares what i want
just what i got
and when we sit and count it up
its really not a lot

Jan 2020 · 86

I'd send you everything

jay Jan 2020

I'd send you everything

if kisses were raindrops,
i'd send you showers.
if hugs were seconds,
i'd send you hours.
if smiles were water,
i'd send you the sea.
if love was a person,
i'd send you me.

Jan 2020 · 103

hate

jay Jan 2020

hate

i hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair
i hate it when you talk to her
i hate it when you stare

i hate your shortest texts
and the way you read my mind
i hate you so much it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme... :)

i hate it

i hate it when your always right
i hate when you lie
i hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry

i hate it when your not around
i hate when you dont call
but mostly i hate the way i dont hate you
not even close
not even a little bit
not even at all

and also dont forget
im just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her...

Jan 2020 · 73

hmph

jay Jan 2020

hmph

choose me or loose me;
im not a backup plan and im definitely not a second choice.

Jan 2020 · 88

Worth

jay Jan 2020

Worth

Im falling to pieces
Im crawling, cant resist
I know that your worth it
Im sorry im not perfect

Jan 2020 · 78

Wasted

jay Jan 2020

Wasted

all my love was wasted
It felt like i was hated
So that night i just got wasted

Now i cant even remember you
I wish it wasnt true
But i never regret
The night
That i
Got wasted

Dec 2019 · 160

"Make me laugh"

jay Dec 2019

"Make me laugh"

"Your dog ate your homework?"
"No, not my dog...my dawg! She kinda weird..."

Dec 2019 · 422

"Make me smile"

jay Dec 2019

"Make me smile"

I love you

Dec 2019 · 87

Sensation

jay Dec 2019

Sensation

Love is a sensation
Caused by temptation
To feel *******
A guy sticks his location
In a girls destination
To increase population
For the next generation
did you get my explanation?
Or do you need demonstration?.

Dec 2019 · 110

Knock knock

jay Dec 2019

Knock knock

knock knock
who's there?
Where when
where when who?
My place, tomorrow, me and you
O.O

Dec 2019 · 101

I felt this

jay Dec 2019

I felt this

Teenagers act like we do
Because
We are treated like children
Yet we are expected to act like adults

Yup

Dec 2019 · 103

My Six Word Love Story

jay Dec 2019

My Six Word Love Story

"I Tried so Hard for you."

Dec 2019 · 121

pocket-sized love

jay Dec 2019

pocket-sized love

not so big
but overwhelming
not an object;
not worth faking

pocket-sized love

Dec 2019 · 110

haha...

jay Dec 2019

haha...

its great that the camera
never showed my tears

Dec 2019 · 809

i really love this...

jay Dec 2019

i really love this...

.in french
you dont say
"i miss you"
you say
"tu me manques"
witch means
"you are missing from me"
.

Dec 2019 · 234

the heart

jay Dec 2019

the heart

i love y                   ou i lov
e you i love y          ou i love you
i love you i love yo     u i love you i love
i love you i love you i love you i love i love
you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i lo
ve you i love you i love you i love you i lov
e you i love you i love you i love you i lo
ve you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i
i love you i love you i love
you i love you i love
you i love you
i love

you.

i love you :)

Dec 2019 · 145

the cat

jay Dec 2019

the cat

O            I
am       my
own         way
of    being   in
view  and     yet
invisible          at
once,   hearing
everything
you   see,   I
see   all   of
whatever  you
can have  heard.
Even  inside  the
deep   silences   of
black   silhouettes.
Like  these  images
of furry surfaces
darkly playing cat
and mouse with your
doubts about wether
other mind can ever
be drawn from hiding
and made to be heard.
An inferred language
i can  speak only in
your   voice, are you
done   with my shadow?
that   thread of dark.
word
can
all
          run
out
now
and
end
our
tale.
...

so illusive