I suppose we’ll get drunk
Maybe that’ll drag me out of this funk
Of television screens and cheap food
An oh, so unforgiving mood

Fretting about the smallest things
Of raw chicken & bankrupt kings
Avoiding sentimental ties
I’ll settle with the unkempt lies

i just want to
know what it's like
to not feel alone
when i go to
sleep.

why is it that every time a boy passes me in the hall
i feel guilty
like i owe something i haven't paid
like i ought to have something but i haven't taken the time to get up and get it -
embarrassed.

boy,
why does the back of your neck frighten me
why does the suggestion of your frame
make me wish i was not existing
what is it about you that is so
*******
scary

i am a goddess
a wisdom
a prose
and yet i cannot look normalcy in the face
you are nothing special
but you are enough to untie my laces

About: CFL
4/13/13

You made me love you
Against my will
You grew tired of me
But I love you still

Am I as unloveable
As it seems?
Can I only truly
Be loved in my dreams?

I did nothing wrong
And you threw me away
Was I just a distraction
For a rainy day?

I thought we were happy
That we'd never part
Then out of the blue
You broke my heart

You said 'forever'
I thought it was true
I never felt for anyone
What I felt for you

I feel it still
Though you obviously don't
My brain says 'let go'
But my heart just won't

They say to move on
And meet someone new
I've tried and I've tried
But my heart's set on you

I hate you sometimes
For hurting me
You made me fall
But didn't catch me

You walked away without a scratch
I was put in Intensive Care
You're safe at home without a care
I'm lost without you; still gasping for air

It's been years since that day
My world fell apart
When you crushed my dreams
And shattered my heart

But my heart still holds on
My love was so true
I've tried to let go
But I still think of you

I want to move on
For this wound to heal
But time only EASES
The pain that I feel

The wound's not so fresh
The pain not as bad
But still it hurts
And makes me so sad

Confusion and hurt
A wound that won't mend
Longing and sadness
That won't seem to end

I wish and I hope
Let this be the day
My sadness and longing
And hurt go away!

I'm sure it will happen
I will move on
But I'm tired of waiting
It's taking so long!

how do i fill this
hole?  i wish
i had never
found it in the
first place

i wish my generation would stop
romanticizing misery; if he only loves you
because you are sad, then what will happen
when he's the only one to make you happy

(are you prepared to watch him walk away
for another girl reading bukowski?)