i never knew you
not like i wanted to
i wanted intertwined limbs
but you were always an arms length away.
all blue eyes and intellect
who should deal with a wreck like me.
i look for you in everyone
even a little hint of your humor
god do i wish it was a rumor
that you're with her.
i hope the best for you
even as my heart is aching
it feels almost heartbreaking
but you should be happy even if i'm not.
my heart aches
when i think of your face
but only because of the could've beens.
what could have been if you'd liked me back
what could have been if we had dated
what could have been if you loved me.
i ache and mourn those could've beens
because my heart thinks they should've been
but they weren't.
i despise being pigeon-holed.
seeing myself through the circular looking glass
having one singular personality trait
based solely on my physicalities and class.
that's my descriptor
has been since I was a child
but I would walk miles to escape that word.
i am as multi-faceted as a kaleidoscope
i need no rope from another to pull myself
from the ashes of my failures
do not question my abilities because I have the eyes of a doe
or the body of woman.
i can move mountains with my hands and create worlds with my fingertips
hours of song can escape my lips
riddles and mathematic equations lay not in my hips
but in my mind.
i despise being pidgeon-holed
for my worth does not equate to my weight
and the space I'm allotted on this Earth does not count my appearance as a deciding factor
my strength as a human being does not relate to my gender
so you need not distract her
for she has goals ranging up to the sky
and down to the bottom of the sea
I am a woman and I will be free
of being pidgeon-holed.
her relationships always end in fire
it's nothing to admire
passion is a weak foundation for love.
it wears down easily and burns too quick
volatile personalities that should not mix
like a match and wood.
i have seen her way
dark feelings held at bay
great when good and awful when bad.
Beautiful fire can take away a breath
but I'd rather have a cold death
than a hot one.