my soul is split
between a burning desire
to feel soft sand beneath my feet
greenery surrounding me
as i stand by the sea
the warm embrace of thriving nature.
on the other hand, i was born with cold in my bones
and a fire in my heart
being surrounded by cold steel towers
only makes my ambition flower further
my dreams growing as high
as buildings that scrape the sky.
i am a libra
the epitome of duality of man
i dream of having little freckled children of my own
living in a beautiful and loving home
but i dream also of my future accomplishments
having the confidence
that i could change the world.
i wonder if desires such as those
must be constantly opposed
by each other
can family and career coexist
without one toppling the other
because my heart aches for both.
i never knew you
not like i wanted to
i wanted intertwined limbs
but you were always an arms length away.
all blue eyes and intellect
who should deal with a wreck like me.
i look for you in everyone
even a little hint of your humor
god do i wish it was a rumor
that you're with her.
i hope the best for you
even as my heart is aching
it feels almost heartbreaking
but you should be happy even if i'm not.
my heart aches
when i think of your face
but only because of the could've beens.
what could have been if you'd liked me back
what could have been if we had dated
what could have been if you loved me.
i ache and mourn those could've beens
because my heart thinks they should've been
but they weren't.
i despise being pigeon-holed.
seeing myself through the circular looking glass
having one singular personality trait
based solely on my physicalities and class.
that's my descriptor
has been since I was a child
but I would walk miles to escape that word.
i am as multi-faceted as a kaleidoscope
i need no rope from another to pull myself
from the ashes of my failures
do not question my abilities because I have the eyes of a doe
or the body of woman.
i can move mountains with my hands and create worlds with my fingertips
hours of song can escape my lips
riddles and mathematic equations lay not in my hips
but in my mind.
i despise being pidgeon-holed
for my worth does not equate to my weight
and the space I'm allotted on this Earth does not count my appearance as a deciding factor
my strength as a human being does not relate to my gender
so you need not distract her
for she has goals ranging up to the sky
and down to the bottom of the sea
I am a woman and I will be free
of being pidgeon-holed.