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  Apr 2020 hina
the black rose
she’s too strong,
she’s too much,
she’s too tough to love.

she’s too hard,
she’s too broken,
she’s not enough.

she’s imperfect,
she’s wild,
she’s lost in the wind.
she’s insane,
sending signs of chaos from within.
-
hi.
hina Apr 2020
at times, I woke up with scratches and wounds
and I'm left to wonder what happened the night before
not even remotely drunk to do anything stupid,
I think back to what people usually say
that only those who know peace could sleep at night.
I guess my demons present themselves
in my dreams once again
and the scars on my skin are evidences
of what transpired that night.
they are not exactly nightmares,
but I know they're something else.
this is why they say sleep is for the weak
  Mar 2020 hina
Her
My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time
hina Mar 2020
In a room with people who sleeps peacefully
I find myself wide awake
And thinking of my mistakes.
I couldn't say that I regret them
But I wish I've known the outcome.
Their weight is too heavy
For my heart to carry
Day by day, it's weighing me down
And I feel myself being drowned.
Something i wrote when I couldn't sleep.
hina Dec 2018
You left in between words
And now I can't decipher them.
You left in between colors
And now my life is devoid of it.
You left in between songs
And now I can't listen to them.

You stayed when you didn't want to
You left when I didn't want you to.
You said that you won't change
What happened to your love, then?
You left me without a clue
How do you think I'll be able to get through?
You're hurting, so you hurt others in return.

You were my escape,
And now you've got me caged
In this never-ending pain and sadness.
You took the keys with you
And I'm still waiting for your come back
To finally free me.

— The End —