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...
himangshu Jun 2020
...
let the haters die
and the ******* rot.
it's how
humans die,
when
humanity is
out of order.
himangshu Feb 2020
At 17th year of life there’s one point
In everyone’s life when you feel lost …
Somewhat insecure and mature,
So this was the point of my life…

Completely lost…
In what I’m doing,
And what I want to do…

I wasn’t raised religious …
And yesterday I tried to pray …
But I didn’t know what to say…
The feeling of oblivion is right into me
Even when people around me keep saying
That they will remember me for their life…
himangshu May 2020
neither life
nor the way of living it is easy.
neither to love
nor to be loved is cozy
it is the glimpses of the story
highlights of the moment
that make what it seizes to be.
himangshu Mar 2021
i am broke
i am alone

all i see is dust
in unsettling desire
in temptation
of a better place,
a better view.
the other day, i was sitting in my room watching dust flying everywhere in the air and it resembled my own state.
himangshu May 2020
From running across the road
and stopping by the pavement.

To pulling down the window
and peeking on the road.

You do amazing things...

Like the bus you caught
this evening to get back home
himangshu Nov 2019
I don't know what it is...
Maybe the month that follows
Or the unsent texts in my phone.
Maybe the silver lining of your dress
Or the glamorous heels of your shoes.
I really have no clue of what it is...
The feeling of jealously
Or the pain of betrayal.
himangshu Jan 2020
The first text conversations wasn’t so exciting and
Late night wishes aren’t so boring

Only gift that I can give u is
a small little piece of writing...

I don’t know what should I write to make u
Not want to throw this away...
But over this distance
I can sing u off key notes ,
Write u things,
And if literature doesn’t bores you
Then we can talk about our favourite authors…
But for now just talk to me …
..
..
..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!
It’s your birthday today …
and I could give u this much…
but don’t worry next time
there will b that much which will be compared to this much
and that that much won’t be this much…
himangshu Apr 2020
Blood red.
it's captivating,
isn't it.

when it drools down the skin
clots it's path
and flushes the flirty cheeks.

when it spils out of the territorial body,
leaving a mark and
attracting attention.

blood red.
it's captivating,
isn't it.

when it can save a life,
where it could cost a life.

when the absence of it's occassional spill can mark a new life
whereas it's unnatural flow can take away an unseen life.

blood red.
it's captivating,
isn't it.
himangshu Nov 2020
are you still buying?
are you still buying
your tears and the sobs
from the movies and the tags;

are you still selling?
are you still selling
your highs and the lows
to the poems and the prose.
just a random thought.
himangshu Nov 2019
A mother's melody is never known
and a father's note is never matched.
It is a song that is
pitched with happiness
&
tuned with forgiveness...
himangshu Nov 2019
Against the ravages of time
Was built the majesty of wine...
himangshu Apr 2020
saw the sky after a long time
it changed you know
every moment i looked away
it changed.

it changed.
everything changed.
the sun disappeared.
the cloud drove fast.
rain poured.
moon shined.
stars hid.
and everyday
everything changed.
himangshu Apr 2020
feelings.

everytime this cliché word is said,
it hits hard with a new meaning .

now,
the word no more
remains cliché.
himangshu Apr 2020
exams postponed.
books left in dust.
Opened a blank page,
wrote something,
scribbled it down.
lit a cigarette
crushed it down.
and,
watched the sky
as the sun went down.

It's midnight now.
Took a turn to a fresh new page,
wrote something,
scribbled it again.
Lit a cigarette
crushed it again.
and,
watched the sky
as the night shattered.

The writer slept for a while
as the dreamer was awake.

It's noon now,
the writer woke up...

Taking a sip of his coffee
he saw the scribbled pages
and smiled
as he turned
to a fresh new page again.
himangshu May 2020
be dope.
**** them all.
be unique.
**** them all.
be creative.
**** them all.
be yourself.
**** them all.

now,
**** them.
cause they ****** your mind.
**** them.
cause they made you ride insane within.

but stand for them once in a while.
all this **** and all the *****,
made you you what you are today.
himangshu Jan 2021
is heaven the rainbow
and hell the rain
for when I love the heaven
i fall for hell.
i love the rainbow but rain manages to keep all my notice
himangshu Jun 2021
he waltz in the room
she waited for him
she was a harlot;
he was her redemption.
himangshu Jun 2022
this wave of sadness hit me now,
no-where seemes a happy place to be now

it hurts to breathe,
it hurts to listen,
it hurts to speak,
it hurts...
it just hurts to exist

its not an even experience
it neither is overwhelming

i feel all these emotions bubbling
but nothing seems to leave me

no drab
no tear

no grab
no fear


i'm free and lonely
i'm free and hurt
i'm free and non-existent

i'm happy to be free and
unhappy when i'm here

i'm free and many things,
many things but happy.
himangshu May 2020
don't go
stay,
stay,
and
stay.

even
if
you
go
away
today,
i'll
follow
yo­u
until
my
sole's
run
sore.

i
tried
to
run
after
you
but
lost
you.

where
are
you?
i'm
delusive
now.

come
back...

i
haven't
imagined
anything
without
you.

nothing
makes
sense
without
you.

So,
ple­ase
come
back.

i'm
still
here
but
won't
be long.

An
old
acquaintance
of
mine
came
to
meet
me;
he
has
no
face,
no
voice,
yet
troubles
me.

he
can't
talk
but
makes
me
feel
the
pain.

pain
of
letting go,
pain
of
not
seeing
you
again.

don't
worry
he
is
shy;
won't
hurt
you,
won't
indulge
you.

but
i
think
you
might
like
him;
he
is
like
you.

he
keeps
me
alive
and
you
don't
let
me
live.

don't
worry
he
likes
strangers
but
you
are
none.

so,
please
come
back...

i'm
waiting.
himangshu Oct 2020
The mistakes cannot be saved now.
The memories cannot be frowned upon.
The relevance cannot be questioned.
The patience cannot be tested
The light's cannot be dimmed now,
    revolution's taking place.
The anger cannot be altered now,
    hatred is taking command.
The old mistakes that take no sin cannot be judged now.
The sinful mistakes cannot be left unpunished now.
The ministry, the directorate promise justice
like the geography books promise rain every year.
The news channels barely cover real news. Merely justice is served to the deserving. Government is influenced by media rather than facts and reality
himangshu Jul 2021
he waltz in the room
she waited for him
she was a harlot;
he was her redemption.
himangshu Jul 2020
I pluck my flowers everyday
easy to wither away
the garderns' getting older
and the grass live a little longer;
the flowers' have withered away
the gardens' barren again.
lifes' a muse.
call for the bail,
the sins that i commit while i live
are only going to lead me to death.
himangshu Dec 2020
there's happiness
and there's sorrow.

there's life
and there's regret.

there's sin
and there's confession.

there's me
and there's poetry.
poetry is not an escape anymore
it's the way I live now
himangshu Jun 2021
in all the delusions and
all the illusions
lies the unknown.
himangshu Mar 2020
listen.
because you can.
listen.
because you don't want to.
listen.
because in another time you couldn't.
listen.
because when you want to you wouldn't.

so,
listen.
give it an ear.
leave it unheard,
if you wish to...
..
but,
listen...
.
.
b'coz next time
when we talk...
we will need to
listen.
himangshu Apr 2021
listen to the old man
he is here
he is your fate
he is who you are under
the tight skin
from dawn to dusk.

he has creepy
perplexing eyes
of experience,
with nerves not working
and legs that
don't support him anymore.
himangshu Jun 2020
love was unknown to me,
like the girl who saw
the same piece of jewelry everyday,
as she passed the same crossroad for home
but never felt it on her skin.
for it's too costly than the mint paper
and too cheap for an open heart.
himangshu Nov 2020
Of shadows refrained, and
hypocrisy big brained;
labels the crops,
f'r these art c'rpses.
promises in caskets,
f'r these art showpieces.
oh palmy, thy palmy
strengtheneth thy soil
f'r t is in vengeance
too much of Shakespearean sonnets influences a lot
himangshu Mar 2020
To the nights they lived,
And the days they saved;
He raised a toast at their wedding day.
...
For he who enjoyed the toast
Left her in second thought
After breaking their promise
on the first day
of their
    marriage…
himangshu May 2020
from

big brain
with
small thoughts.

to

narrow pages
with
wicked lines.

I grew up.
himangshu Dec 2020
Here comes the moment
And now, all it goes
In the façade of nothingness
All I'm now is numb,
Feeling light, feeling hefty.
And now, all it goes
In the façade of nothingness.
nothingness isn't numb it's just another feeling that hasn't been accounted for.
himangshu Nov 2020
Love!-- maker of my lady,
it is always beyond this poem
or any poem she who is a subject to;
whose body the words are afraid,
perfectly beautiful it is,
forgive these words which I have made .
it's been a year today among many more to come.
himangshu Dec 2020
she said
she was mine, and
i was mine too.

now,
how can someone like me
who disguises himself
can carry two souls aboard
when it is not even meant
to carry one.
just a random thought on a random relationship.
himangshu May 2020
Sometimes
The Imperfections
Are so perfect that
They are visible
Without any effort
himangshu Mar 2020
resemblance.
a fickle word it is.
.
.
brings you joy.
brings you faith.
brings you reason.
..
to live.
to laugh.
to be happy.
.
.
resemblance.
a fickle word it is.
.
.
brings you honour.
brings you pride.
brings you rejection.
..
to resent.
to be proud.
to despise.
.
.
resemblance.
what a fickle word it is...
himangshu Sep 2022
you paint your fingernails
i put my fine suit on

Oh, it's going out of style babe
and everything is on sale
himangshu Apr 2020
i stumbled with grace,
i stumbled with desire,
i stumbled with pride,
i stumbled with fervour.

covetous
for love,
furlough
for hatred.

happened it all,
happened it then,
when all the love for you
was seeming unreal.
himangshu Mar 2020
talk.
just talk.

because you don't want to.
because you will need to.
.
.
talk.
but listen first.
..
listen to those words,
which you left unheard once.
..
listen to those words
which you despised once.
.
.
because,
without listening,
you won't be able to talk.
..
and those wounds are too deep
to heal without talking...
.
.
so,
talk.
just talk.
because,
band-aid is not going to
heal a bullet holes.
sequel to listen
himangshu Mar 2020
For all the time that did rust away
And
All the light that did fade away.

The house hath sheltered the moths and dust …
Adored the relics and the wall

The man who set the paper and the mechanical typewriter
Scribbled ‘1st Try’ on the paper
and passed away …
There was a picture that i came across lately. It was an old mansion with a type-writer which was layered with dust and had a page inserted in it as if someone was about to type something and there was a picture of a man beside the typewriter.
this rally worked enough for me to pen this verse
himangshu Sep 2022
why would the moon love me?
i don't burn for her,
i don't let my guard down for her,
i don't pray for her;

i envy her,
i despise her;

i might be a lot of things said, but
i am conflicting above all the things unsaid,
let's start there;
himangshu Apr 2020
the heart aches
and the mind echoes.

it's 3 in the morning
and the road is still mourning.

and the day are dead
and the night finds its way.

it's 3 in the morning
and the road is still mourning.

the beans are old
and the coffee still cold.

the wind hushing down the alrein
and the anguish staying behind.

it's 3 in the morning
and the road is still mourning.
himangshu Sep 2022
the ruins of the city are too much for my poetry to sink in,
i've dwelled in rational emotions and irritations of love,  in

all my verses,
all my pauses,
all my annotations;

the ruins of the city are too little for my emotions,
the regular of love and unhappiness doesn't bubble my words anymore
the humble repeating people stopped pleasing, for
the rubble of first glimpse that i've caught
himangshu Apr 2020
dates changed,
months rotated,
and the years showed their back upon us.

it's been three years now,
since we met.

and yet again i find you there in
the same old hidden parking slot.
where the darkness ruled and light submerged.
himangshu Mar 2020
People ask me what do I write about?
Sometimes after reading my poems they give an awkward silence as if they’ve read something bad.
And again everything boils down to the obvious question that they’ll ever have …
“What do you write about ???”
If I say that they are about my feelings, they’re love poems,
The only question that flies out of the crowd is that :
“Who broke your heart?”
“Whom do you write about?”
“Whom do you write for?”
This was and still is the only question to which I didn’t had neither I have any immediate answer,
because no one broke my heart, neither they ripped me apart…
They just moved away from me like the wind which I just started liking…
So,
Poetry has it’s own form of heart  break.
It indulges you and keeps you away,
It binds you back yet makes you fall apart.
Poetry does not happen when only your heart is broken…
It happens when you start questioning  yourself ,
when you start doubting  the relationship you just had,
or when you over-think to an ideal situation,
Ideal situation of an ideal love, not knowing that
Love is like the flames of a borne fire…,
Never the same but sometimes diminished.

Sometimes those people write the best kind of love poems who
have had no relationships at all.
But that doesn’t mean that they haven’t experienced love or their heart hasn’t been broken.
There are a million professions in this world and so
Are the reasons to have a broken heart.

Love poems aren’t about the feeling of love,
They are ones perspective about love.
Love poems aren’t a side effect of separation…
They are an aftershock of over-thinking.
So,
over-thinking leads to huge drafts like these which tends to be meaningless with time
and never hold back the same value they had to the writer when they were written,
just like this write-up you’ve just read
or the democracy in which you live …
An answer to all the questions asked which were left unanswered
himangshu Mar 2020
touch.
because you can.
touch.
because you want to.
touch.
because it's the only rememberance you have.
touch.
because in another life you won't.
touch.
because in another time you wouldn't.
touch.
but don't touch this time.
it's the touch that melts you down.
mends your soul.
so,
touch.
not her but him also.
touch.
but to make her safe not hound her.
it's the touch,
or the essence of touch
that melts her down.
it's the touch,
and the essence of touch
that brings her back.

touch.
but don't touch.

so,
touch.
because it is the most sensual art
that ever existed.
himangshu Mar 2021
the half of it
i say
half of it .
how can i love you more
when i know
i invested myself completely
in the person who broke me
before you
and how do i trust you,
you won't break me ?

promises aren't a thing
when life's at brink
words are mere words
emotions don't stand with them.
promises are determined only when ... nevermind
himangshu Jan 2021
you didn't want to hurt
neither did i
and yet you are a resemblance
so am i
himangshu May 2020
what i wanted was rejected
and what i did was reflected.

what i felt was pseudo
and what i said was ambiguous.

 what i saw was deceptive
and what i loved was manipulative.

— The End —