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Jun 2020 · 313
17
17
And so now it comes to pass
Seventeen times around the sun
Seventeen winters and seventeen springs
A symbol of hope and wonderful things

The World Is Upon Me
Jun 2020 · 99
The Reason
Why do I write poems? Is it for expression? Is it for attention? For a girl?

Do I write out of a sense of obligation? Boredom? Pain?

Is there some ulterior motive? Something sinister and obscure?

Or is it that I just want to be accepted?

The reason why is always changing.

Do we watch **** because we are vile and perverted? Or maybe we just want to feel good? Feel something. Anything.

The reason why is not important. It is inconsequential. Trite.

Reasoning defies action, and action defines your character.

So who are you? Are you my reason, reader? Are you the reason that defies my action? Are you the reason I have no character? The reason I fear?

Or maybe,


The reason I’m here?
Jan 2020 · 172
Looking Down
We try to be amicable
When we know we are selfish
We lie to seem admirable
But there’s no one we cherish
Jan 2020 · 208
pixelated
Superficial feelings: a high of great command;
Introspective warfare in the palm of your hand.
Today I realized that I am only pixels on your screen. Merely a background character who you will forget in a matter of days.
Jan 2020 · 199
Looking to Want
I have lost count of the times
where I have seen your face
out of the corner of my eye
but I can’t bring myself
to turn around because I know
that I am seeing what I want to see
and nothing more.
Jan 2020 · 418
tender affliction
take me in
six inches deeper
my cold blade yearns to rust inside your heart

feel my pain
before the blood dries
I want to be the one to drain the color from your eyes
Jan 2020 · 154
Dear future me...
Please don’t post spur-of-the-moment poetry on the internet where thousands of people could potentially view it...

You’re so welcome,
You
P.S.     Good luck with, well, you know what.
Dec 2019 · 280
1214 b
I don’t think you realize just how much you mean to me, and my biggest fear is that you never will.
Dec 2019 · 242
silent night.
The sound of crimson rain descending from large, black clouds and landing with a vengeance on reinforced steel echoed solemnly throughout the night sky.

This post-demolition city was destroyed beyond recognition after the warhead hit.

Barren streets decorated with scattered rubble and the smell of decay saturated the night air. The radiation caused the rain to turn the color of blood; the blood of the millions of people that the projectile disintegrated.

Just North of the blast radius, a small, barely standing apartment complex stood ***** from the broken ground.

On the second floor of this hotel of hell, two teenagers, a boy and a girl, were quickly becoming men and women; their pleasure loud, but never heard.

Above them on the third floor, a woman hung **** from the ceiling. Her sickly body covered in boils from the radiation.

Two floors below, seven skeletons were spread equidistant from each other. The boy and girl had moved them surreptitiously after doing something with them that even I would not in right mind divulge.

The fourth floor was a horrible sight. A dying baby screaming helplessly; his mother and father lying dead beside him; they both shot themselves. The baby was born with six tiny, black eyes, and no legs to crawl. He’d take his last breath before the sun rose in the morning.

The boy finished his act, and took a large puff of a cigarette. The girl, completely satisfied and lying in blood, chose the needle. The boy followed.

It was their escape. A way to leave the pain of being orphaned by the war. Every single loved one and friend was slaughtered like cattle by the enemy. It was only them now.

This was their first night at the makeshift hotel, and they came willing to die. Together. They knew the radiation would overcome their sickly bodies.

There was nothing left to live for.
No place to call home.
Hölle auf Erden.
O night divine.
Dec 2019 · 130
The Frozen River
A subtle wind gently eased wild hair from his smiling eyes; the faintest hint of her essence hugged his comfy winter coat.

Not a mile to the East, the same breeze drifted wearily towards a lonely house near a sparkling frozen river.

There, kneeling at the edge of the water, a beautiful girl felt a subtle breeze gently caress her shiny blonde hair.

The young maiden breathed in as the wind continued to brush past her shoulders. She exhaled with a giggle and a blush.

This extravagant December morning, the sun rose in lavish style over the snow-bleached horizon.

The lad had worked as a paper boy in this cozy town for a little over a year, and the morning before, he had spotted the most gorgeous girl kneeling by a riverbed.

The young boy nearly broke his bicycle, he kicked the brakes with such force. He sat with open mouth and marveled at such a sight.

The girl saw the boy out of the corner of her right eye, and shifted a little in a knowing manner.

The smitten lad turned a shade of red that would make the Devil jealous, and tried to call out to this beauty. His voice failed him.

Feeling the attraction radiating from the boy, the lass arose gracefully and walked towards him.

The shocked boy seemed to forget how to walk for an instant. He fell flat on his face. He heard a hearty giggle, and though he thought himself a total klutz, he began to laugh at himself, with each breath ingesting cold, wet snow.

“Saylor”, said the girl, offering a hand up for the boy.

“Titan”, the boy replied, taking her hand. Laughing seemed to restore his confidence.

“Sorry for staring” Titan said apologetically. “I’m sure you get that a lot”.

Little did young Titan know, Saylor had been watching him every morning for weeks. Through the dining room window, she would watch as he would throw the paper towards her house, and pedal over the bridge leading into town.

“Don’t apologize” Saylor remarked. “You should come back tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed like that.”

Not knowing exactly what she meant by that, and also not wanting to make himself look like a complete invalid by asking, Titan got back on his bike with a smile as grand as his elaborate fantasies of the night to come.
Please let me know if you would like a continuation :)
And if you’re wondering about the names, the answer is yes.
Dec 2019 · 133
Broken Wings
She wants to feel again
What I have never felt.

She wants to see again
What I had thought unreal.

I want to fade to black
But don’t want her to cry.

We are a couple birds
Slowly falling from the sky.
For you, am I just
Dec 2019 · 353
Left with Nothing
The worst mistake you can make is to take nothing form the past
You break your vows to contemplate the feelings that won’t last
The mind will break into your soul and rip out your desire
Your body punches through your heart and sparks another fire
fuit gummie > vegeatable gummie
Dec 2019 · 133
Choice
I’d rather live for now.
At least long enough to be in a band.
Long enough to see who the next president is.
Enough to see the next ****** Disney Star Wars.

And **** if I’m going to **** myself one day,
No way I’m dying a ****** that’s so lame.
No way I’m dying without skydiving at least once.
No way I’m dying without running bare *** naked through New York City.

Until then, guess I’ll try to enjoy life.
Let’s see how that goes.
Bucket list may be ******* soon not sure tho.
Nov 2019 · 142
today
yesterday didn’t even ****.
it just wasn’t as good as today.
Nov 2019 · 152
yesterday
Today doesn’t even ****.
It just wasn’t as good as yesterday.
Oct 2019 · 187
mold.
We’re livin to die
We’re dyin to live
And hopeless we try
To love and to give
‘*** even in the end
When we breathe in our last
Our hearts attack the biggest mistakes of our past

Memories fade and it’s never clear
Why we were unconsciously creating the fear
Of loneliness, abandonment, and being cast out
So we grew up rough and callous fulfilling the doubt

A couple things I wish that I knew for certain
Are why friends and love only left me hurtin
Why my alibi is my greatest defense
And why my devastation makes the greatest of sense

When I was seven years old my father gave me a note
It was a hundred dollar bill, and on a paper he wrote
“Son don’t tell anyone of what you’ve been seein”
Dad was shootin dope with his best buddy Steven

There may will come a day
When our youth will pass away
When our shoes become worn
And relationships are torn

We only came to pass
Our times will come too fast
And no one knows for sure
Just what we’re living for.
Take a hit
Light a candle
I’m in love with my refrigerator door handle.

Stacy can’t you see you’re just not the one for me?
I know it may be wrong,
But I’m in love with Stacy’s refrigerator door handle.

Wishin I had Jessie’s refrigerator door handle.
Doo doodoo doo doo doo.
Where can you find another refrigerator door handle like that?

She’s my refrigerator door handle
Cool drink of water
And it tastes so fine
Tastes so good make a grown man cry
Sweet refrigerator door handle
I declare I don’t care no more. I’m burning up and out and growing bored.
It’s so much easier to lie to you with my fingers and thumbs than with my tongue.

So I keep to myself.
I’d rather you hate me for who I’m not, than hate me for who I really am.
Sep 2019 · 136
for show.
Can you prove my existence?
Can you do it for sure?
A photo, a memory, a poem, a score?

What proof have you that you exist?
If you ponder that inquiry,
You’ll find something is missed.

We see what we think we see,
But what is the reality?

We know what we think we know,
But what is real, and what’s for show?
Mindless wordplay? **** yeah.
Worth pondering? **** yeah.
Sep 2019 · 198
‘`’`
Aug 2019 · 259
Curse of a Dream
I hate it when you finally receive your deepest desire,
And you wake up without it.
I dreamt I had a full family. A new mom, dad, and even a little sis. I had a big house and lots of friends. I wanted to cry when I woke up this morning.
Aug 2019 · 195
This one is more happier
I thought I was the only one
Who felt such insecurity
Who felt this pressure
Who felt so different

Then you showed me
You feel the exact same.
Thank you for saving us both
Aug 2019 · 176
Emergency, Emergency!
“Emergency, Emergency!”
Cried the daughter of the *****.

“Emergency, Emergency!”
“My mother’s dead for sure!”

“What is the emergency?”
The old man asked the girl.

“I have a little secret!”
She said with glittering eyes of pearl.

The old man crossed his aging arms
and leaned to listen in.

“I shot her in the head”
The daughter whispered with a grin.

Before the man could turn to run,
She shot to **** again!
Aug 2019 · 407
...boom!
Aug 2019 · 786
Faith
The more you share,
The more they care.
The louder you cry,
The greater they try.
The faster you run,
The quicker they follow.
And once you are done,
You’ll lose faith in tomorrow.
Aug 2019 · 164
happiness?!
One friend is depressed.
Yesterday was the greatest, and today seems an unwelcome guest.

One friend is afraid.
He writes of his struggles, but if you saw him, you’d say he’s got it made.

I am who I’ve always and never been.
Consistently inconsistent, pervertedly malevolent, and searching for something that doesn’t seem to exist for me.

I want to help my friends.
insert{[but statement]+[excuse]}
Everything seems to be an excuse for doing nothing. I can’t trust myself anymore.
Aug 2019 · 168
Bummer
I don’t know you like you know yourself
All I know is what you write, because we never really talk, and that’s my problem

It makes me sad to hear that you’ve experienced death in your life
Death is a ***** ***** **** waffle ****
And there’s my **** nonsense of humor

I don’t think you’re crazy like you say
I’ve heard rumors
**** em

I was a fool for thinking anyone could be perfect
I’m sorry for putting you on that pedestal
I realize now that you are, in fact, human and have weaknesses and flaws as such

God, this sounds ridiculous

I want to delete every word of this, and sew the mask of a quiet loner back on my face, and that is exactly why I am posting this. To work to overcome my own biggest fear. Rejection.
Aug 2019 · 95
On a High
If I die tomorrow, I want the world to know I had a name.
If I die tomorrow, I want to know that you won’t do the same.
If I die tomorrow, I want to end it all on a high.
If I die tomorrow, I want to at least have told my friends goodbye.
Aug 2019 · 90
Fell on Better Days
Hey,
I don’t know about you
But I may be 22
Before I feel like reading this again
And remembering how things once were

Depression, Jealousy, Nostalgia, Inferiority, Rejection, Hopelessness, Friends, Hurt, Sleepless Nights, Anxiety, Shame, and Wanting to Crawl Into a Box to Escape the Pain of Living.

Oh, and Love too, I guess.
Jun 2019 · 252
Love.
Everyone dies,
But if I never met you,
I never would have lived.
Jun 2019 · 1.1k
flood.
seven years passed like the phases of the moon,
since her parents had their last fight,
their marriage stained maroon.
ever since, she stayed with Daddy,
always on the run.
she learned to live a life of crime,
and to never trust anyone.
now she’s all but sixteen,
but her hands are stained in blood.
she shot the sheriff where he stood,
his crimson tears a flood.
Jun 2019 · 387
solitude.
trapped in a cell, abandoned by light
fed through a tube, once day and night
no one around, to talk to or fight
sanity cowers in the absence of might.

showering cold in a tub soaked in tears,
the silence of torture has deafened his ears,
time is a lie, he’s lost count of the years,
forever imprisoned til the reaper appears.
Jun 2019 · 216
¡Destroy!
there is freedom in destruction.
let’s ditch this fake production.
opinions matter—so do you,
we need a reconstruction.

time is of the essence.
time will come and leave.
time will wait on no one;
in yourself you must believe!
Jun 2019 · 164
i.
i.
hate me.
loathe me.
despise me.
turn away.
run away.
go away.
come back.
i need you now.
i can’t live without you.
you mean everything to me.
you are nothing to me.
i am nothing to you.
i am nothing at all.
i do not exist.
i am you.
Jun 2019 · 141
oopsie.
i was under the impression that i needed you.

                       my mistake.
Jun 2019 · 158
paradox.
how can i love you for hating me
if you hate me for loving you?
Jun 2019 · 904
old.
reading
old material
from depressed
me is like walking
into hell with a parka
and an umbrella.

reading
old material
from pessimistic
you is like eating a
chocolate covered
pine cone.
Jun 2019 · 222
blister.
You’re a blister on my mind
The pain that makes me blind
The pain that only reminds me of
The friend I’ve left behind

You’re a blister on my heart
It was tearing me apart
I couldn’t see the truth you hid
You lied to me right from the start
Jun 2019 · 165
aha, aha, aha!
You’re like the pickles on my Chick-Fil-A sandwich
























































­



































I ******* hate pickles
True story
Jun 2019 · 217
Drama
Sorry fo the drama



It’s my way of saying you’re special
I’m getting kind of tired of telling you that you’re not a monster.


Actually, now that I think of it, I’m getting kind of tired of telling you anything and you not listening to a word.


But I suppose that now I’m just somebody that you used to know.
May 2019 · 247
My Own Way
Since you cleared your own path
I lost my inspiration

But looking straight ahead
I found my motivation

Henceforth my destiny is what I make of it
It seems you’re gone already, but thank you
May 2019 · 144
India
It seems her story’s painted black
But in me she gave her trust
Thank you Indie, India
Our friendship was a must
I hope you find the joy in life
The joy you deserve for all your strife
Remember to never, ever lose hope
Because hope remains our light


Never lose your light, Indie
You will find your way
I’m glad I could be a part of it
Love ya
May 2019 · 639
Dreams
Dreams of you
Creeping through
They always end
Way too soon

Dreams of you
Unconscious desire
Love and lust
Fuel to the fire
May 2019 · 425
Blonde on Black
Blonde on black
And she’s on the attack
Black on white
And she’s ready to fight
White on blue
And she’s coming for you
Blue on red
And you’re already dead
May 2019 · 536
The Three Crows
The bullets hit their bones
Agony in their screaming
Crying children shrieking
And three crows peck, peck, peck

Sirens blare in the morning
Dead bodies litter busy street
Their blood stains dispersed
And three crows pick at easy meat

The small girl lit her cigarette
And cleaned her machine gun
The little ****** had some fun
And the three crows pecked, pecked, peck
May 2019 · 106
Diverging
Let’s meet again
Someday, somewhere
Where the smell of new
Devours the old

Let’s dream again
Someday, sometime
And share as friends
About our hopes

Let’s meet again
Old friend
May our paths cross once more
We have a lot of catching up to do
I hope you are doing more than ok
Apr 2019 · 145
Sakura
I will wait for you
Among the cherry blossoms
Echoing your name
Apr 2019 · 818
Until
Yeah life’s been pretty boring without you
I won’t lie, it’s my own ******* fault
I’ve lost count of how many chances you gave
And I drowned my loneliness in salt

I don’t think I’m a terrible person anymore
But it doesn’t stop me from closing the door
YouTube videos teach me assertiveness
I hold the key to my loneliness

I’ve got the key in the lock
But I haven’t the strength left to turn it
I cried for help
But when you came I just told you to *******
I’ve got this
And the cycle repeats
Over
And over
And over and
Over and over and
Over and over and over
And over and over and over
Until
Apr 2019 · 173
Easter
Chocolate bunny fronts
And Easter egg hunts
Early morning church
And Christian research
A time of joy and sorrow
That carries to tomorrow
A time of laugh and cheer
That happens every year
Happy Easter to all
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