Dezzie Hex: Poems

Jun 2020 · 231

Unrest

Dezzie Hex Jun 2020

Unrest

Let fall pillars of terror's reign
Let fall statues of fool's gold
Too long hath sheep swallowed pain
Too long hath vultures flown bold

#inequality #rage #unrest #anger

Apr 2020 · 249

Memory

Dezzie Hex Apr 2020

Memory

Far into the forest where the crippled creeks wept,
Where sweet springtime fades with promises unkept,
A rotted cabin sat under gnarled arms of trees, wheezing its final breaths in autumn's breeze.
I was too young to turn back in fear as the ache of curiosity pulled me near.
Traces of rust where hinges fell left doorways to gaping mouths of hell.
Shards of glass like shattered bones lay in the musk of time's ripe decay.
O, but in deafening silence it seemed I still could hear the floorboards scream.
Every step within those walls left me longing for an otherworldly call.
The ghosts of the woodlands forever roamed every crooked nook and crack of this home.
Entranced I stayed until the black of night seeped into the corners of my long abandoned keep.
And its spirits trailed my steps as I walked away, promising to return again someday.

I dreamed of a place I forgot long ago.

#dark #supernatural #creepy #spooky

Apr 2020 · 245

Shiver

Dezzie Hex Apr 2020

Shiver

O child, shiver and shake the dust from your wings, fly again!
Lo, the harsh caress of unrest beckons you to ignore the pain.
Look down upon us as we fall victim to the ebb, paralyzed and doomed in the spider's web.

O child, shiver and shake your fingers toward the scarred sky in praise.
Your vengeful gods bestow upon us no kind mercy or embrace!
Shards of glass rake soft flesh as we crawl to the gutter,
Did we ever deserve mercy from your Dark Mother?

O child, shiver and shake so you may flee the atrocities!
Flee the terrified cries and the eyes of the dead!
Death never dwelled beneath your bed, He is here!
Look down upon us as we shiver and shake with fear!

We stare at static-plagued screens and scream--

"Shiver and shake, the sky shall break!"

#horror #darkness #fear #gothic

Mar 2020 · 120

Rot

Dezzie Hex Mar 2020

Rot

I am done with this game you play; alas, we can't all have our way.
I'm more than a toy you choose to enjoy at your leisure--
Do you think this brings me pleasure?
In a moment's time, you are both mine and not, never were, or will ever be!
Do you like fooling me?
You bait and tease and fill me with unease,
But you have a love to appease you--I do not.
I never have, and may never know that ease of heart.
Do you even care that it tears me apart?
Am I wrong to feel this way?
Yes, and no, I suppose.
I respected your wish, and gave friendly hands,
But compliance can't even meet your demands.
A friend comes with no expectation; and yet, a friend knows when the game is done.
You can't offer me heaven only to drag me through hell.
Oh well, I sigh, and blow a kiss.
You confess to know this--
This halfhearted bliss!
But the game goes because you know I won't win.
Go back to your comforts and leave me to rot within.

#anger #frustration #betrayal

Mar 2020 · 284

Libra

Dezzie Hex Mar 2020

Libra

On golden strings hang both heart and mind
Ever chasing a taste of the divine
Sunrises weigh my dilemmas with care
Suffocated by waves of restless air
I drink up vast oceans of laughter and tears
Unfazed by wayward emotions and fears
And yet, I am still stagnant

Dissonant voices scream harsh choices
A beam for my love and another for my death
As above, so below, Justice weeps beneath

Child of Venus, she is calling my name
Corroded by both beauty and shame
Cupid feathers fester under her touch
O, if only love did not cost so much

WIP.

#zodiac #libra #life #emotion

Jul 2018 · 331

Temporary

Dezzie Hex Jul 2018

Temporary

You did not understand the depth of your demands, and I wonder if another's response would vary.
I was weak in the face of seduction and your elaborate production, but I realize it now--

I was temporary.

Your sudden desire to be close should have drawn caution, and frankly the memory makes me gag when I consider how my vulnerability was too bittersweet for you.
Were you trying to tame a shrew?

The lack of boundaries was likely my fault, because I felt so wanted I refused to halt you despite my usual sense of self-preservation. You had no reservations about crossing hard borders until my humanity started to bore you.

Every little playful touch and kiss was your way to hold me in a false sense of bliss. I was never worthy of love because then you would have no way to stand above me. Real love requires equality. You used my emotions against me.

Take your pretty light and let me be. I was a dying star in your galaxy.

#broken #heart #friendship #love

May 2018 · 410

I Lie

Dezzie Hex May 2018

I Lie

Weave a new start for this wasted heart,
And set fire to what is left of my bones.
I never truly owned this anyway--
Alas, I was fine this way (I lie).

You gave me something to consider
With no intention of leaving me bitter.
I guess you may not understand it, but--

But, let me be clear.

I love (and fear) when people come near me.

Affection is a condition beyond norm.
I always have to perform to achieve
A physical feeling I didn't believe in.
Love is a fable for us unaccustomed
To sweet, stable, abled affection,
And it was conditional for me.
Every touch required a fee.

I am no perfectionist; no, I am a mess.

I am shredded silk and soured milk,
And twine twisted around fingers.
Have you ever kissed a cactus?
You never asked for this.

Why are you still here?

Apr 2018 · 438

Fine

Dezzie Hex Apr 2018

Fine

I thought I was fine.
I thought it would be easy to just shut out the feelings, turmoil, and anguish that one feels when we realize we are not as wanted as we believe we are--
Yes, I took my feelings too far.
But you have to understand that you are not at fault, never were, for the things that happened to me long before we knew we existed in the same space between life and death--
Sorry, I need to catch my breath.
And even when I thought I was okay with knowing you do not want me, I made the mistake of thinking the casual playfulness with which you lured me was just a little bit of fun--
Fun? **** it. Can't be done.
You're not responsible for the way the others used and abused me, treated me like a toy to turn on and off at their leisure; however, you don't know how closely you remind me of that pain--
Can I feel empty again?
You made me feel too comfortable with my own discomfort, and I was not ready--but it felt so good to think I was desired that I crossed the path divine--
You make me happy, but I'm not fine.

Apr 2018 · 459

Caged

Dezzie Hex Apr 2018

Caged

It always begins with throwing stones,
Bewitching laughter, shattered bones.
I sleep on a floor made of golden straw
And blood drips from my gaping maw.
You toss me scraps from a high table
As I covet from my suffocating stable.
Your affection comes at a steep price.
Does it feel good? Does it taste nice?
You taunt me with the kindest words
But the sound of pride is all I heard.
Self-preservation is a skill I cannot master--
Yes, I admit, I enjoy a little disaster.
I am not worthy of love, only play.
Perhaps I will be released someday.
I love the abuse despite my rage.
You poke, and ****, and I am still caged.

Apr 2018 · 233

Pride

Dezzie Hex Apr 2018

Pride

Why do you keep me in this place?

Laying pathways of treasure boxes with tarnished padlocks is your game.
What have I to gain from this?
Slaps to the face disguised as bliss.

I can never be truly fulfilled
Because I fear I may be killed.
I'm unwilling to part with my heart,
Because I worry it is only a plaything.
Am I wasting it on you?

I admit I trusted you with ease
Because I wanted to please you.
My kindness came without tether,
But you flaunt as if you are better.

Why do I even try?
I don't know how to cry.

Do my cracks make you smile?
Do my stinging tears excite you?

I'm glad my grief warms you
As it leaves me dying inside.

I will not swallow my pride.

#sadness #rejection

Apr 2018 · 287

Howl

Dezzie Hex Apr 2018

Howl

As the sun slips away to die in the eve,
I lie in wait for your thunderous howl.
My knees quiver and my tail shivers
Under intrusive moonlight so bright.

My claws rake against the fragile wood--
Would you? O, would you howl for me?

I give chase; though, I long for embrace.
A feline may flee, but she is flighty.
Nothing satisfies the hunger more than the way you sprint to me.
Am I a tease? Or does my game please you?

The hunter in you craves the chase more than I do.
Be you wolf or not, I can outrun you--
And yet, it is not my desire to.

I throw my race and give up the chase under the ghostly moon for now.

I do not flee you anymore.
I want to make you howl.

#sexuality #flirtation #animism

Mar 2018 · 279

Ripple

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Ripple

Do you love the ripples of my body?

Watch me move like water between your silken sheets and splay myself bare.
I am not carved of wood like you; nay, I am shaped like waves under a thunderous sky.
My skin is made of salt and sea, glittering under the weeping moon.
Drown yourself in the swell of waves upon my vast *****.
Swim within me and know the curves of my body as Odysseus knew his path.
Drink me like wine until you are gasping for air against my lips.
Trace the wide plains of my hips, caressed by ocean like a sunken ship.

Count my ripples: forevermore, they are yours.

#sexuality #water #ocean #body #positivity

Mar 2018 · 487

Faun

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Faun

Deep in unharrowed woodlands sleeping, beneath the towering willows weeping,
Unmarred by the intrusive light of dawn rests he, the melodic faun.
Upon right shoulder rests his bow and 'round his horns flowers grow.
Catching hearts of both maiden and hag is his unabashed and shameless brag.
With a flex of wrist he summons the wind and leaves all care and woe behind;
And yet, his rest is restless still as the forest decays and grows ill.
Great faun, will your goddess flourish once more, or will she leave you on the forest floor?
The faun laughs and shrugs his shoulders, ever warm as the night grows colder,
"No maiden, queen, or crone can refuse me place on her throne!
I am your heart's desire; and thus, the wood shall never expire!"
Deep in unharrowed woodlands sleeping, beneath the towering willows weeping,
Lies the goddess with her faun, blending star-filled night and shining dawn.

WIP

#mythology #pagan #nature

Mar 2018 · 372

Galaxy

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Galaxy

If kisses could drink stars like poison from wounds, I would plant my lips all over you.
The pink of my skin mixing with your mauve brings meaning to this darkened grove.
And lo, the way the moonlight drips down your breast fills me with such cruel unrest.
As comets trace down the curve of your spine, I wonder of your contours divine.
A nebula exists within your eyes; alas, your beauty is my demise.
I feel my heart begin to expire as your supernova ignites my fire.
Your voice is starlight blending with crystal sea--
O, what a galaxy you must be, hidden so long from me!

WIP.

#galaxy #space #beauty #feminine #body

Mar 2018 · 532

Issues

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Issues

Ah bliss! I, the subliminal linguist, can't distinguish this thing that you imply with such meaning. I relinquish my hold and go down screaming.

So, I melt into oblivion because life
is a trivial pursuit I've yet to latch onto, dripping between my fingers
like water through wood cracks.

Is it my own selfishness that burns
bridges between us?

No, it's yours. You stapled a label on me that can't be ripped, stripped, or torn, but I am not your fixer-upper *****.

Does my insubordination bore you?
Tell it to my "commitment issues."
The only issue is I grew faster than you, more masterful than you.

I am not your tamed shrew.

I refuse to be used by you, friendship abused by you and your confusion with your own emotions. I am not an island in your ocean of incompetence.

Frankly, my dear, **** this.

#anger #harassment #bitterness #nsfw

Mar 2018 · 216

Change

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Change

I fear change.

My starless sky is cracked like a freshly born scar from a battle I'd never win.
Am I ever going to feel empty again?
Because emptiness was a comfort that I couldn't confront--
So I sighed, and I denied myself wholeness, never trusting my own boldness.
And here you are smiling, all the while unwrapping me like a birthday gift and not even questioning if I'm worth the price.

It must be nice--oh, must be nice to never question!

I am a product of apathy blending with unrelenting hope, frustrated with no way to cope.
And it surprises me that I elicit any kind of rise from you.
If the the moon reflects the sun, do I reflect you?
My fear is inferior to my own desires, and so I plunge into this fire.

I need change.

Some deep thoughts tonight.

#fear #change #transformation

Mar 2018 · 275

Haiku #1

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Haiku #1

Let me see your eyes
Run to me with your mask off
My mind is ready

#haiku #masks #epiphany

Mar 2018 · 461

Friend

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Friend

You and I will always have this--
The sun beating down on our heads as you **** on a sweet tea-soaked straw and I sip amber ale--
Distant giggles ricocheting off eggshell walls and floral-printed arm chairs melodically--
Secret words and symbols more problematic than the Babylonian texts of old--
Moments of silence and contemplation freezing time so we may never leave this temple--
A temple we built together, you and I.
A fortress stronger than Alexander.
Our shrine will prosper ever more.

You and I will always have this.

For Melanie, who's having a rough week. :)

#friendship #love #friends

Mar 2018 · 392

Smoke

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Smoke

I am the child of purification and destruction, wafting through the air, an omen.
Let me dust your lips and sting your eyes with my gentle caress.
Curl me around your fingers and stroke my tendrils in envy--
Alas, you can never hold me.
You can never capture my essence.

I am the product of scorched earth blending with broken promises.
Let me steal your truths from your tongue that you guard so carefully--
Wrap you up in my arms even though I fear smothering you with my kiss.
I wish I could hold you.
I wish I was more than this.

But I am just smoke.

#smoke #elements #love #intimacy #desire

Mar 2018 · 742

Sicken

Dezzie Hex Mar 2018

Sicken

Do I sicken you?

Does your lip curl in repulsion as I cast aside my skin and invite you in?
Oh, what misfortune is mine that you would choose to dine with me!
Am I not a pretty spread, charred from toe to head?

Feast on me and be sickened.

With such disgust you mask your lust,
and I watch your tongue quiver, shiver, and shake--
Touch me and I will break in your fingers.
You see me as lovely and wild; and yet,
I am so very reviled by you.
Is my human mask too loose?
Would you fancy me in a noose?

Ah, such wonder we feel at what makes us ill, for hunger sets no limit.
Do you know when to stop eating?

Is your heart even still beating?

You made yourself sick.

Still a WIP, but I'm liking it.

Feb 2018 · 327

Crave

Dezzie Hex Feb 2018

Crave

I crave you.

I wonder of your lips, tinted with kiss of rose,
and my mind traces from corner to cupid's bow.
Neither scent of swirling ocean or forest at dusk
can compare to the engulfing fumes of your musk.
My heart wastes on you with every sigh I draw--
Oh, but how I wish to hold you in my jaws.
Ah, I bite and tear and lick and caress!
I want to make such a mess of you.
Do your tastebuds scream for me too?
Should I save my appetite for you?
Is it a crime of passion to assume the sweat
on your skin is as sweet as I imagine?
I confess, embarrassed, for my tongue slips
when I am near you, and my saliva drips
from my fangs in hunger--
May I pull you under me?

It is so hard to behave.
I cannot resist; thus, I crave.

#sexuality #desire

Jan 2018 · 472

Arcana IV/XIII

Dezzie Hex Jan 2018

Arcana IV/XIII

I am Emperor. I am Death.

All ye who challenge my reign over kingdom and kin
know not the true consequence of thy sins.
In flesh, I come bearing bountiful wealth and crown;
alas, in decay, I may claim nothing as my own.
Upon white steed I ride, demanding thy reverence,
for no mortal plea may earn my benevolence.
My castle is made of shattered coffins and bone.
The lives I take are etched upon my throne.
I am balance, bringer of law and order supreme,
yet my presence is sought only in screams.

"Our true end hath come!" my countrymen thunder,
"God, please save us! Death shall tear us asunder!"

Wherefore doth thou cry for a holy savior?
Wherefore doth I warrant such behavior?
I was thy maker, thy just and wise king,
I asked for no riches or engraved rings.

I am Emperor, I am Death, and in the very end,
the only true kingdom is made of dead men.

I looked up my birth cards in my tarot deck and this happened.

#tarot #birth #cards #wip #arcana #death

Jan 2018 · 197

Content

Dezzie Hex Jan 2018

Content

I am a glutton for unrequited
desires, because fantasy is simple.
My lips quiver, wordless. Why?
Why am I only able to cradle
your hands in my dreams? Oh.
I suppose it is poetic justice.

We creatures who lurk in darkness
cannot touch the stars.
If I could touch you, would you
sparkle or would you burn?
Can I outline the contours of you
the way petals unfold in the sun?

I am unpolished, eroded by waves
of discontent as I lie at your feet.
And yet, I am satisfied with my
own dissatisfaction. Aren't you?
Did we ever know what it meant
to be satisfied? It isn't in our blood.

We were never meant to be content.

#emotions #unrequited #love #dreams

Dec 2017 · 978

A Tribute to Abstinence Class

Dezzie Hex Dec 2017

A Tribute to Abstinence Class

When I was fifteen, I took a Health class and got "the talk,"--
(it's not what you're thinking because this is Tennessee).
It started with the boys and girls being separated and
mass-confusion ensued like bees who lost their queen--
(despite being female, I'm still scared of ***** diagrams).

Our speaker's name was Mary, but I think that was faked.

We were fed PG-rated and legally mandated information
about how our bodies are meant for HUSBANDS ONLY--
(joke's on her, half of my diet consists of Taco Tuesday).
Mary guided us through the "exciting changes" of our body
only to declare quite firmly that "*** doesn't even feel good"--
(unless you're married, of course, because your holes are holy).

And yet
I was
unconvinced.

And thus began my intrinsic journey of "pearl-hunting."
After all, if it didn't feel good with my hand, I couldn't
imagine what a **** would do for me and, boy oh boy,
that woman was so WRONG (**** on that, Mary).
But I digress, because I confess, I never really even
gave my ******* a second thought before I took an
ABSTINENCE CLASS.

Y'all don't even know how much wine I had before I wrote this.

#sexuality #feminism #******* #abstinence

Dec 2017 · 586

Puma

Dezzie Hex Dec 2017

Puma

there's something disgusting about young love because we're conditioned to desire it
"your time will be up soon"
"you don't want to die alone"
"find someone early and work on them"

"WORK on them"

that's for the birds
i am a puma

a puma doesn't waste time worrying about who will sprint with her or love her in winter
a puma will have her fill until her hunger is sated
two rabbits for lunch and a buck for dinner
"aren't you lonely?"
no, because a good hunt requires solitude

why is it we are so keen to find love early and rush the hunt rather than
wait until we've become seasoned to the task?

i sink my claws into my prey and rejoice in the warmth of my victory as i whisper,
"think of all the time you spent choosing
when you should have been
hunting"

Drabble, kind of still editing.

#polyamory #sexuality #animism

Dec 2017 · 243

Timeline

Dezzie Hex Dec 2017

Timeline

I want to go where our wildflowers grow,
and watch petals disrupt the silent water.
Are the ripples left behind a timeline of us,
or a tally of time we waste in the shallow?

We mourn the decay of love before we know
the rot is result of a self-induced slaughter.
No green hand or gentle hold saves our trust
in the process of time. We age and we wallow.

Still working this one. Critiques?

#nature #time

— The End —