making the best of a life?
or wasting the rest of a life?
who can tell the difference while they live it?
really enjoying your day?
or merely throwing it away?
if we do the latter life cannot forgive it.

knowing the feeling
of starting from the beginning
of knowing what we should have
and at just the right time
when taking had gone
and making begun
to spin its evil web

the sun beats warm
amidst the storm
as was was forewarned
long before we were born
the seventh generation
of an era
more concerned with the firs
maybe not now
maybe not in a million years
maybe never
will we confront our fears
wipe clean the slate
that you stole from the earth
our once beautiful mother
who promised your birth
If you ever cared about the consequence
Of actions performed in performed in your sequence of events
then we may not need a line of defense
to protect the walls around
And did you ever think those walls
Might constrict the ground?

pass it over
the walk
way
out of the city
still there
sit
still there
..you've done a lot today.
you're beautiful
i can see
your soul
so pure
lovely
so sweet
those eyes
they shock me
so deeply
..my heart
oh to be
your book
that you
might turn
my pages
grasp
my binding
and read me
hear my story
and write me yours
across
the train
from you

I do not know this feeling.
It is unfamiliar.
The hair on my back is raised but the pit of my stomach has fallen.
Confused, uncertain shock.
Sadness.

thoughtless drippings
fill the page
aries ripping
pisces rage
overflowing
not controlling
aphrodisiac
attacking
the undertow
far below
you're falling further than you know
you can't get hurt
without good cause
your foolishness
reaps its own claws

The sun through the trees
The wind and the leaves
The ample glow
Of the pine from beneath
  The heat from the sight
  As it stands in its light
  The fear in its height
  Walking underneath
    Looking over
    Off in the distance the trees
    The rustle of leaves
    Being blown in the breeze
The comfort in shivers
Knowing you can still shake
The thoughts that you keep from dreams
When you awake
  The change that it makes
  On the life it's begun
  And knowing it's all just a part of the sun
    And you're staring
    So slowly revolving around
    The point to which
    It all has been bound
        Left over from whatever happened before
        And always compulsively striving for more

But to get to the point
Staring at the sun
Is tangible proof
That something's begun

Not aware of here nor there
And comfortable in solitude
So still and fair you sit and stare
To see what here is calling you
A pill on the tongue of life itself
An unbound book bound to the shelf
Often picked by passers by
But not for much more than one try
The eye is drawn but tapers off
To read at dawn more not than oft’
Ten days I sit and think of prose
As trains of thought just come and go
The station left so dull and dark
Now on foot through the mind we must embark
And tell the tales of nows now past
And reap the benefits at last

Back to the beginning
Pre-evolution
No words
No language
Just knowing to feel
Reproduce
Make them better
Smarter
Or Worse..

which side is real
day or dream
based on how it feels
not how it seems
a thresh-hold, marginal at best
to keep the sane from all the rest
in research we demoralize
the beauty held within our eyes
i cannot describe what i once felt
pure emotion, heaven's hell

it won't help
me write
its just gives
some insight
on outward
issues
i contain
my brain
complexities
i see
in me
and those around
may interact
act react
and reconcile

to your face
to my own

write a note
telephone

leave me
don't leave
don't go

some people live for what lasts
some people live for what's left
some people make sure to leave things that last
so the people whom they've left can live
some things last forever that shouldn't
some are the last of their kind
some people care more for material things
than for what's going on outside

they'll be fine in their homes with their money

just fine

until the green on the trees starts to go
remember how great it once grew
before our exponential growth
and everything we've grown to know
and we knew

this year's inflation
overpopulation
in nations and nations and nations of people who all need a phone and who all need a car and who all need more gas cause we drive really far all time and we need to go out in the summer to purchase a new AC
and we all have to separate our wants from our needs
...and we need to begin to go back to the world where we lived for what kept us alive without money or time..
...all the world
..in my mind
but i'm just one guy.

your life is always here for you
as long as you are living
the past does not define
not yours, not mine
our minds, our time
this life
all ways
always
then

****

a fear of joining them
a comfort in seeing them
love for the lost
the time
we spend
alone
energy
is all
we leave
the life of the living
the consciousness lives on
the body
dies

Past is Passed
Live for Now
Look to Morrow
Ask Then How

do not dwell
thoughts are hell
and heaven sent
the time we spent
time will tell
the way we learn
all this trust
always earned
          ....
the scars are hard
the stars are far
the lights
the heights
and where we are
       ......
not together
not apart
     ......
we are the teeth
          ......
the mouth guard

i am a writer of music and words
and you are too
its just something else to you
you are a dancer
i am a singer
and if we work together
we'll be so much better
you are a singer
and we are all dancing
and your knees are shaking
because you're nervous
and i love you
let's sing and dance
when we get home

I don’t       but I’m      a ******* mess
Need             not         ******* distress
To be         *******         impressed
Dead            right             her once
Yet                 like                  but
I don’t        I don’t      second guesses
Need           I even         say the rest
To be            write         to be wrong
Dead             a lot            all along
Yet                  of          all the people
To be           people       is the way
A poet         might             right
Society      tonight     sounds good
Has got    its got to             be
A hold          stop               there
On me         its all               at 8

I have very busy days
But I'll try to make time
In this hectic actuality of life
To assure you of my well being

The feeling always stays
But I pretend that it goes
When I wear a fake smile
I don't think anybody else knows
The painful images
That I am seeing

You know that I'd be lying
If I said I didn't wish it in the back of my mind
That I could change what I did that time
To a more responsible action

There's nothing I would rather do
Than to sit right back here with you
Mistakes, sure I made a few
Now, let me take back one

The one regret
My only, one regret
I think I'll have another cigarette
Always the last cigarette cigarette
And when I walk out the door
To light up one more
I think of you
I think of you

The feeling always stays
But I pretend that it goes
And when I wear that smile
I don't think anybody knows

Let me assure you of my well being
Let me assure you of my well being
Let me assure you
Let me assure you
Let me assure you of my well..

A star nested in its hollow shoulder
A boulder of clouds
A smouldering bright
The day turned to night
As quickly as sight
And shall return from where it came
Ambling towards where you're coming from
And scrambling for words to come
To describe a star in plain sight
As we journey on towards night

you have pain
express it
feel better

For now I'll just follow in the ancient tradition
Of the habit I keep trying to break
But it's taking forever 'cause i keep walking and letting it in
It's always got to come out in the end
Why put it in in the first place?
I guess to say you had begun
Did you ever think? Or just sit and breathe?
Unhappily content with the world that you lived in
Just running to try and see
looking back you could've just laid on your belly
Aching softly
Eating thoughts
And saying words you should have written down
But just run
And lie down later
Write down eight or nine
Solid, partial phrases
Out of breath and knowing
You should've laid down in the first place
Next time you'll know better
Keep writing it down

look back at this moment in time not questioning why you did it
but how it was handled, how you're rebuilt and back together,
to the point of wielding orange magic, of fighting what is right,
of going anywhere, anything tonight.
any scattered mess could find its way back to the top one day
a shattered plot to find what is and is not
to really understand what kind of where here was
when here was that is.
now forever there is here
or at least it feels
as if an almost constant pain you'll always know to never heal
said to be gone before dusk hit the dawn
would every last moment be longed for forever
conceptual perceived as perpetual hurling
a rate a toe curling the light to be burning
the hole in the spectrum
of fractal perfection
an all too common misconception is life
for what is life without inflection upon further inspection
it's gone.

car exhaust exhausting me
cannot be healthy for the tree
who offers us a breath of life
sweet oxygen which we breathe in
but she breathes in what we breathe out
so why not from our muffler spout?
and if emissions alter synthesis
then who's to say what we breathe is?

Nothing lasts Forever
And Nothing can be Forever

As Nothing is.

Nothing is Nothing without Everything
And Everything is Nothing without It.

Has It been Forever?

Why miss what my hands should hold
A story never under told
Of hands let go and gone away
With luck to be returned one day
Near future, far from what eyes see
But ever holding close to me
And all that time could make bitter of a better man.
The city streets are paved with gold
But only lonely bricks behold
A value held more dear than life
When without life nothing is valued.
The morning light
A darkness grows
So loud and noisy
Beauty goes.
Once golden streets, an inferno
Bursting, every breathing moment passing
With a single hope
Uncertain of what I'm standing for
I might just lay down on the floor
For the shimmer I'd not know without it
Now seems dim within.

How could it change me?
Why did it start me?
Why will it end me?
How will that change me?

Trust me
I've lied before
I've felt the truth
I've held its wrath
I've traveled down the beaten path
Long enough to know when it's real

The water's been tested
I've felt the cold
The scorching shock
The shivers hold
Your breath held still
So still to show
You're learning how to feel

The warmth of trust
Lying in frozen water
To have tested it
Would have been a lie

So lie, in truth, frozen
But growing hotter
And know the honesty
Of the I

routine
monotony
irritable
it bothers me
to suffer from
a steady hand
didn't end
the way
we planned
we can start
a change
we can spark
another phase
yes you can
come down
you may
calm
your nerves
your words
watching
you cry
its not
as bad
as it is
we can all
get through this
******
anger
worry
danger
parks at night

it's been better than great
even the lust and the hate
the building up inside
inability to alleviate
the stress
the pain and the sorrow
the never really knowing how it would be tomorrow
The Love
and how we get in this state
of never ever gonna leave
or of knowing we'll make it in the end
the friends that used to be never used to be at all
'cause in this moment i crumble
and i know that i'm in trouble
'cause every second would not add up
just one with you
i know how i'm feeling
how you've got me believing
i am only one half
and without the other i fall
i fall

Balance
The Challice of Life
Must Stand Without a Stem

Watch Her Stand
Not Leaning
The Glimmer of a Gem

And if She Stumbles
Lend a Hand
To Slow Her Sway

For a Gem
Without a Glimmer
Is Only Gray

live on
in the breeze
in the balance
of the trees
the breathing
of the leaves
            The Trucks
            The Cars
    The Freeze
is coming
in the clouds
and screaming
oh so loud

we will find
in time
our own

the flood
the pain
the love
the gain
the loss
our bodies
the cost

your life
your love
will live
past you
and everything
you do

my body
will use
my ears

to listen
to
your fears

and wipe
away
the tears

the truth

the place behind your eyes
you know where it lies
directly behind the peripheral vision
in strictly the mind for internalism
        the rhythm
direct south, pass the mouth
to the chest, the nest of rhythmic art
        holding a heart
exploding, reloading on every beat
running off of the music's heat
energy not created nor destroyed
enjoyed, rejoiced
never thought about the consequences of harnessing it have you?
the capitalism cataclysm rapes the earth, rapes the earth

rhythm saves

Pain is a word too many people understand
put upon others and wish did not exist
often placed upon one's self
forgetting a dream
i often wonder what life would be
had i not put my faith in Excess
would my eyes tell a story of pure emotion?
would my brain understand?
To Express
a gift easily taken
not to be returned in the blink of an eye
as yours will always come up Dry
your tears
wishing they were mine
without a whim to go on
he treads through the motherland
prepared for whatever lies ahead

give space
           love, pace
run, chase
           live, race
walk slow
           but go
come back
           or don't
some day
           you'll see
what i see
           my eyes see
your eyes
           me
           ......
you stop
           catch up
look
       back


               open

I've said it all once before
But I can't take it anymore
I don't know what to do

I'll say it all once again
Then maybe this nightmare will end
I'll wake up next to you

I had it all
Bu I dropped the ball
Yes you were mine
And got left behind
My head was wrong
My hear was right
Now it's been a long
And scary nightmare
I just want to wake up next to you

But I can still see you
I'm not blind
I can still feel you
Inside my mind
Yeah you're still with me
For what it's worth
You'll always be my girl
If you are ever mine again
I'll make sure it never ends
And in the morning
When I come to
I'll wake up
Next to you