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i'm writing
without inspiration
no topic to write about
no subtle aspiration.

what do i want to achieve?

i'm writing
discovering the hollow in me
and
filling them up all the same.

this is my hole, my haven.
 Jul 2014 Heliza Rose
The Issue
live for death, die for the try
we **** what gives us life,
to live what's killing us inside
 Jul 2014 Heliza Rose
caroline
with someone who's
comfortable with your silence.
someone who doesn't need words
to understand, or the sound of
your voice to hear you.
someone who admires
your makeupless face and
skinny fingers, along with every
bump and scar that has made your body their home, too.
someone who doesn't see all
your flaws as imperfections,
but simply as more to adore.
someone who doesn't need
your words of permission to
know when to kiss you,
or require your arms stretched
open to know when to hold you.
be with someone who grows you
and allows you to spread
your wings to fly, always trusting
that you will come home.
someone that appreciates who
you are and never lets you give
up on that, pushing you to
succeed in your future even if
they aren't any part of it.
someone who makes even the
toughest of times seem hopeful,
and the problems of the world vanish with just a hold of your hand.
*fall in love with someone
who doesn't just kiss your lips,
but your soul.
When I walk into the Emergency Room I know exactly what they're going to say, "Four years is a long time for a broken heart to heal" I guess they don't know how hard you hit it with your fist. So they stick me with a needle full of morphine and tell me, "This will help". It never does.

2. Dried lips and Swollen "I love you's" can make you feel again but god I don't want to feel anything if it means sitting here with my lungs filling up with fluids suffocating me while my ribs crack and splinter every ******* part of my body when she doesn't reply.

3. I told my Best friend I wanted to fall in love and he told me he would start writing my eulogy.

4. Words get stuck inside my bloodstream and their edges cut into my heart. I want to tell you how much I ******* miss you. I can't stop bleeding.

5. My mother always told me not to love someone with my entirety, because one night they'll turn off the lights and they'll take every fiber of me and forget come back to switch them back on.

6. There are over a thousand ways to **** yourself, hang yourself, burn the house with your body still in it, do too much ******, bleed yourself dry, let the weight of stone where your heart used to be drag you down to the bottom of the lake. I think the most effective way is making love with someone whose name you'll never be able to say without shaking.

7. You don't burn in a fire. You just become a part of it. Your hair ignites like fireworks end, your bones turn into coals, and your eyes melt into the embers. They say that being burned alive is the worst pain you could experience they were telling the truth I should have been more careful around you and your words that lit me aflame. There was a lot of choking and burning and thrashing and darkness.

8. When I told you to sleep with me I didn't mean Leave come sunrise and forget what happened.

9. Maybe you should come over. Maybe I should change the locks. I think I love you again.

10. I stopped smoking because you could stop my hands from shaking just as well as a cheap pack of cigarettes but you rot my insides even worse.
This was inspired
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