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Helia Jun 10
to speak while one is maddened
is driving whilst blindfolded
you do know what you're doing
yet at the same time, you don't

the anger and frustration
is a deep and heavy fog
that envelops all your sense
and whisks it away from you

your hands grip the steering wheel
and your foot steps on the gas
you don't know where you're going
you just know you have to drive

while you know that it's reckless
it simply cannot be helped
you're blinded by a purpose
that you know isn't worth it

the breaks are all but broken
and there's nowhere left to turn
the journey will have to end
at your point or another

you can't see the aftermath
but sorely, you can feel it
like watching a tidal wave
when it crashes, so will you
a one-way road where you can't turn back.
june 10, 2019.
Helia May 26
you are the gentle sunshine
the million little dust motes
that drift in through my window
in the wee hours of morning

you are the fluffy white clouds
that appear in the heavens
like an old friend popping in
joyfully, out of the blue

you are the bold brilliant moon
the endless amount of stars
in the night sky as I stroll
and think of our adventures

you are the cold winter wind
that lightly caress my cheeks
when I retreat to my bed
revelling in thoughts of us
you are my sunshine.
you are my everything.

may 26, 2019.
Helia Jan 3
Of age old lighters
All vast and sundry
These are what make up
My father's hobby

Stuffed into his desk
Were such novelties
He could have boasted
Twas as large as he

Regular raven
With his jewelries
His full collection
I never did see

Only when he passed
Did I lay my eyes
On all the treasures
That drawer did hide

Every size and shape
Of lighter there is
I guarantee you
There was one of his

So much like his gauds
His wondrous person
Never came to light
Til he had passed on
a throwback.
Helia Dec 2018
Head pounding
Like rainclouds
Filled to burst
With dark thoughts

Chest aching
Like her arms
Weeping red
And throbbing

Tears running
Like her dreams
Ever farther
From her grasp

Heart breaking
So much like
The promises
To herself
It rains. It pours.
It breaks. Once more.

January 1, 2018.
Helia Aug 2018
so tell me, darling
can you even count
the endless numbers
etched into your skin

you can cover up
all your little scars
but there's no hiding
the ones left on your soul

can you almost feel
the dark heavy weight
of 3 am thoughts
that scream "you ****** up"

the ones that linger
that hide and pretend
that things are okay
when your insides ache
the sun sets. the moon rises.
august 7, 2018.
Helia Jun 2018
Alone in the world
Wandering eterne
I serve no purpose
I am always lost

Clumsy and unsure
You came to my side
Bad jokes, sparkling eyes
I was all but lost

****** in by whirlwinds
And fate's grand scheme
Such happy fun times
We were beyond lost

Dumb fights and distance
Distrust and silence
Convenient outlets
You were, to me, lost

In quiet silence
Cold beds and regrets
Lowly and wretched
I have, to her, lost

It's better this way
Quick breaths and rashness
With tear stained eyes shut
I am, to none, lost
Lose yourself.
December 18, 2017.
Helia Jun 2018
I'm left stricken with awe
You're a god in the flesh
With your trailing kisses
You bring heaven to me

I'm your little angel
A devil in disguise
Take me to nirvana
Make me feel like a god

We can burn in hell
With its black lit flames
Their heat can't compare
To that which we feel

To that which simmers
Underneath our skin
That flickers and licks
When our bodies meet
The sun is hot. Who knew.
May 31, 2018.
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