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Helena B Mar 7
I built us a house in my mind
Imagine us sitting by the fire and looking into each others eyes
Like a cheesy romantic scene from a 50s movie
I swoon over you and let you consume my whole world
But life is not a romantic comedy
And the fairytale ending I created for us shattered
When you told me you didn't love me like that

I'm on my knees
Trying to pick up the pieces and I cut my hands but I still try and put us back together

A screen hums
And I turn to see it playing back all the times you made me smile
And of us laying down on a dock, listening to a song that reminded me of you, and staring at the stars deciding which one we would call ours
And of me listening to your heart beating as you slept and feeling like I could never love anyone like I loved you again.

The hardest part of getting over you is the remembering
I want to remember the bad things
Like the first time you made me cry
I want to remember why I left you in the first place
And why didn't you try to fight for us

And I sat there and squeezed my head with my hands and screamed
As you turn to you leave
I catch a glimpse of your face
It was as if a switch turned off in your head, it was soulless
I feel a tug at my neck as you walk away with a rope in your hand
Oblivious to where that rope ends.
Helena B Dec 2018
You live in the city we both fell in love with
And you are onto better things
We both moved away from the hometown we fell in love in
We both moved away to ease the pain of living without each other
And living without the hurt that always followed us

I always imagined us moving there together
Walking through the city at night
Your eyes sparkle in city lights
We could have sat in coffee shops
Or on park benches
We could have written beautiful things
But you said lets leave us in the past
And I am stuck in it...
Helena B Dec 2018
Tomorrow I will be okay.
I will wake up, make pancakes and drink my favorite coffee.
I will buy myself a fancy dress
And a book by my favorite author.
I will go eat my favorite meal.
I will watch people at a coffee shop
And draw or maybe write a poem or two.
I will come home and drink mulled wine
And watch a movie that makes me smile.
But for tonight,
I will let my heart ache.
Helena B Dec 2018
I wrote you a letter
to tell you I still love you.
You never replied.
And I am sitting at home
crying on the floor of my room.
Because the floor is cold
and it feels good on my skin.
I was ****** to think
that after all this time
I would still be on your mind.
Please baby, just talk to me
and tell me I'm not crazy
for thinking you liked me
at all
Helena B Dec 2018
How do I convince you to love me?
I can make you tea and cookies
Or maybe mac and cheese
I can learn a song for you when you're feeling blue
I can kiss your neck and whisper why I want to be with you
I can wash your sheets and make your room neat
I can make your favorite snack
And if I do these things for you
Will you love me back?
Helena B Dec 2018
You are the moon and I am the ocean
You have this powerful magnetism that moves me
I am consumed by you
But you are too far away to notice how beautiful we can be
Helena B Dec 2018
I want to hold you
and lay in your bed
and pick eyelashes off your cheek
and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep
I want to talk until 2 am
about the universe
and movies that moved us to tears
I want to walk with you in the cold
and wrap my arms around you
and look at the christmas lights
I want to run inside
and jump under the covers
and fight over who has to make the tea
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