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18.9k · Aug 2014
Insecurity
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
I don't let flowers bloom because I'm scared of weeds.
5.1k · Jul 2014
Winter
Heather Valvano Jul 2014
Snowflake, snowflake
fall to the ground
light and gentle
without a sound

Winter, winter
your air consumes me
in peaceful stillness
tranquil beauty
5.0k · Jul 2014
Lockdown of Me
Heather Valvano Jul 2014
Waves waving
in discretion
You're amethyst
in a doll's dress
glitter glittering
sliding with
the pendulum
Feet march
to tread to
the lockdown of me
they said
put her to rest
but that wouldn't
be enough
the waves are
still waving
stick the stick
to this
wedding cake fix
layer lay me
down in strips
sub sunset
on a color wheel
glitter glittering
like sand
touching
the waves waving
in discretion
and this is
stronger than
my will
this is the lockdown of me
they said
put her to rest
but that wouldn't
be enough
4.4k · Dec 2014
Humanity is greed
Heather Valvano Dec 2014
I don't want to live in a world where Dr. Huxtable is a ******
and Kim K.'s *** is art.
It's 2014 and there are still race riots
We're cavemen on social media ripping each other apart
Hope and kindness are few and far between
like lost anomalies
We have reached the epitome of stupidity
our clubs have evolved into computers
more ways to fill the neverending need
and the ****** hashtag reads
humanity is greed
3.5k · Jun 2015
The ship is sinking
Heather Valvano Jun 2015
The ship is sinking
I'm just a passenger
The crew have gone crazy
They've known all along
about the holes in the hold
I could jump ship
to avoid disaster
Welcome the ocean's icy folds

The ship is sinking
I'm just a witness
breathing in this fantastic funeral to the abyss
They let the rats aboard
to ravage the planks like a lover's hungry kiss
All they know is the greedy hoard
But
You lose it all when you sacrifice the ship
3.4k · Aug 2014
Hello Handsome
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
You're as
deep
as a
puddle.

And I'm
shallow enough
to still
*******.
3.3k · Oct 2014
mack truck
Heather Valvano Oct 2014
holy ****
you hit me like a mack truck
I'm broken on the ground
a ringing sound fills
the hallway of my heart
you kicked the door in
I hate you
but I love you
and all I can see is your headlights
3.0k · Jun 2015
You Can't Break Me
Heather Valvano Jun 2015
I left with nothing
and I could do it again
I learned how strong I am
I found my voice again
and you can't break me

Sometimes I wear anger, hate and spite
in a layer of ugly clothes
but I always cast them off
they don't permeate my soul
because you can't break me

I didn't want a war
but I'll fight til the end
I'm a ******* fox
I always find a hen
and you can't break me

You can wait to play the martyr
Cry like a babe needing it's mother
You can say I'm a *****
but I'll never be a liar
and you can't break me

I don't need money
I don't need fame
I don't need attention
I found myself
I know my name
and you can't break me
2.9k · Aug 2014
Hillbilly Hook-Up
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
I ain't no maybe girl
so don't be puttin' me on no back burner
I ain't no maybe girl
so don't put me in your phone and not call my number
if I'm second choice
I won't be a choice
you probably hate that I have a voice
and you think my *** is fly
but only half the time
I ain't no *******
so grow some *****
even if your **** is small
and if you want to get in my pants
but not take me out
I'll punch you out
and don't send me drunk texts
in the middle of the night
lookin' to **** or get in a fight
I ain't no maybe girl
so don't be puttin' me on no back burner
I ain't no maybe girl
so don't put me in your phone and not call my number
I wrote this as a joke after spending an evening at my local dive bar.
2.7k · Dec 2015
INFJ
Heather Valvano Dec 2015
A lone observer I am
But in my mind
In my head
There are more colors than can ever be counted
And I paint pictures of you
Heather Valvano Jan 2015
Yet I love this extreme rollercoaster
Put me on the ride and push all the buttons
I want to cry my eyes out and feel like dirt

I'll stand in line for hours
because I like being hurt

Just another quick fix
of masochistic bliss

Dish it out because I'll gladly take it
I'll ride the ride
again and again and again
2.4k · May 2015
dissolution of rage
Heather Valvano May 2015
Put pen to page
Become the dissolve
The dissolution of rage
Each stroke brings me closer
To the big let go
write my anger away
I won't let the flames grow
water to the fire
words dissect and decode
map a world of distempered disaster
a cartography of my broken soul
2.4k · Jun 2015
Truth
Heather Valvano Jun 2015
I quit writing for ten years.
I thought I was happy.
I didn't know I was miserable.
I lost myself.
I lived through someone else.
I hid.
I lied.
I cried.
I was scared to be myself.
I never felt so alone.
I finally opened my eyes.

I found truth.

I screamed.
I shouted.
I was reborn.
I quit writing for ten years.
I
won't
ever
stop
again.
2.3k · Aug 2014
selfish she
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
she only ever wants to play
she pushes them all away
she sets the stage
and pulls the puppet strings
but no one can touch hers
and when she gets bored
she packs up her playthings and goes home

selfish she
is plastic
without a heart
selfish she
is toxic
leaving her mark

a levy of limbs
a boudoir of bones
selfish she
plays her game
never lonely
but always alone

she only ever wants to play
she pushes them all away
selfish she
laughs as she breaks her dolls
2.1k · Jan 2015
monotony
Heather Valvano Jan 2015
bored wanderings
lead to active trouble
my thoughts are dangerous bubbles
that burst like grenades
Now I'm in a minefield
because I touched the ***
that was too hot
I should have stayed home
and kept my life under a rock
but monotony is true pain
Heather Valvano Feb 2015
10:30AM in a gas station
on a Sunday
Her hair screams "walk of shame"
but her Michael Kors bag
keeps it classy
She's waiting for some greasy food
to fulfill her unmet nocturnal needs
I shouldn't judge her
Maybe she just has "hat head"
And I'm here buying toilet paper
Heather Valvano Jan 2016
It's all or nothing
There is no happy medium
There is no lucky normal
It's not one or two dimensional
It's intergalactic existential
My mind is a spinning universe
Imploding with each new scenario

And I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings
Heather Valvano Feb 2015
***.  *****.  Stuff.
This is poetry in the 21st century.
Can't.  Get.  Enough.
Humans are just selfish vices made up of flesh.
1.5k · Oct 2014
butterflies and no regrets
Heather Valvano Oct 2014
I know that I loved you
because I want you to have
someone that makes you laugh
and I hope she's smart
and she gives you butterflies
like the first time we sat on my porch
and they fluttered in my stomach
when you pulled me on to your lap

and I hope she appreciates your charm
but she keeps you in line
I hope she's the reason you smile to yourself
and makes you fly through life with no regrets
1.3k · Jun 2015
Let's get drunk
Heather Valvano Jun 2015
I'm in a funk
Let's get drunk
Let's scream and yell
and raise some hell
And when we're done
with our stupid fun
I'll turn and run
I'm a hang man hung
I love the beginning
though I know the end
Pain inflicted again and again

Let's get drunk
The ship is sunk
There is no reversal
I'm a skeletal vessel
Riding the storm
broken and torn
weathered and worn
nothing to mourn
The captain took my treasure
and then the rocks became my friends
I'm crashing against them again and again
1.1k · Aug 2014
Foyer of my Hope
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
If you say
goodbye
my heart
will harden
as I know
that I
cannot be
without you
now
in my
picture of Heaven
resting in the
foyer of my hope
1.1k · Jun 2015
It hurts because it's easy
Heather Valvano Jun 2015
I'd like it to be complicated
Blame the timing
But it's clear to me
You don't want me
And it hurts because it's easy
In a parallel universe you and I are amazing
I am your everything

It hurts because it's easy for you
You didn't blink and let me go
Let me drift into the unknown
A hopeless heart with no home

It hurts because it's easy
You would rather be alone
So I have to say goodbye
I have to cry and lie and try and somehow get by
and it's not easy
1.1k · Jan 2017
Hopes for Humankind
Heather Valvano Jan 2017
Blessed are the meek
For they shall inherit the earth
Turn the other cheek
Know what it's worth
Hold on to the sails
And weather the storm
Take a chance to fail
So new ideas may be born

Judge not lest ye be judged
Breathe deep let go of the grudge
Open hearts
Open minds
More meaning to start
Less empty goodbyes
Evolution
Not revolution
My hopes for humankind
1.1k · Jul 2015
Control
Heather Valvano Jul 2015
Control

You don't have it
But won't let go
You made me less than a person
Bullied and belittled
Just a dumb whispering girl

You took my spark
You killed my heart
You fed on me
I was a zombie
with no control

You hate that I got it back
and I'll never it let go
1.1k · Dec 2014
The Author
Heather Valvano Dec 2014
I am the God of my own worlds
I produce pain
I am cruel
Love is rare
A precious jewel
I create it all on the page
Mined diamonds from my mind
Or ****** battles written in rhyme

I am the God
I say what's real
I am the author
I make you feel
1.0k · Feb 2015
The Perfect Wife
Heather Valvano Feb 2015
My kid is better than yours
We live perfect lives
on our spotless floors
with our noses so high
they touch the vaulted ceilings
in our perfect house
on a perfect street
We are the Jones's
except I cry myself to sleep
My husband and I don't even speak
unless it's about our perfect darlings
who can do no wrong
We are a nuclear family
I'm just waiting for the bomb
Johnny's a bully and Mary's a brat
But no one will notice anything
but our greenbacks
I lost myself so long ago
I stopped keeping track
It's a beautiful life
And I'm the perfect wife
993 · Apr 2016
Recycled Trash
Heather Valvano Apr 2016
When does ambition become greed?
When does need become self-indulgence?
When does therapy become whining?
We all want to be special.

Pretty Perfect Life Entrepreneurs.

Is it really human nature to not accept what we are?
An idealist can never handle problems that are hard.
A narcissist sees no problem at all.
And we all become recycled trash in a philosophical junkyard.
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
what would you
do to me
if I let you do
shiny, shine
pieces of you
injected
around my eyes
little folds of
my face
function to feel
pregnant with question
the primacy question
malfunctional
destructional
stitched together
survival
survive
patterns of red
mixtures of blue
me becoming
intertwining you
physical fight
as I bite
my own lip
hold it down
make it sick
what would you
do to me
if I let you do
blood red
pieces of you
pregnant with question
the primacy question

dysfunctional hands drenched in faith
Heather Valvano Apr 2016
The heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wants you.

The brain knows what the brain knows and my brain speaks truth.

My heart has taken over.
I'm on autopilot.
And you're the fuel.

The heart wants what the heart wants.
I'm going to crash and burn.
I let go of the wheel.

The heart wants what the heart wants.
It ignores truth.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
I'm crashing over you.
943 · Feb 2015
Hole
Heather Valvano Feb 2015
You can't fill a hole in your heart with *****
or drugs
or ***
or expensive shoes
You can't stuff it with money
Fancy lies only make temporary glue
It will burst open even bigger than before
demanding
more
more
more
and take until there's nothing left of you
924 · Aug 2014
thoughts of you
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
I want to
start over
something fresh
and brand new

Dewdrops kissing
the morning
describe my
thoughts of you
907 · Jul 2016
the wisest fool
Heather Valvano Jul 2016
the days are generic like cheap beer
fade in and out and disappear
I drink them down
like they are
champagne and caviar dreams
these days
nothing is as it seems
I just expect
the rub
the bruise
the burn
the wisest fool
with nothing to learn
I hold out my heart
it's right here on my sleeve
such a
pretty
useless
silly thing
there is no new thing that is under the sun
another beer and the day is done
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly
Heather Valvano Apr 2016
What have we become?
we trust and depend on no one
we just think about ourselves
we are all offended and blaming someone else
like savages choosing sides
throwing insults and thumping signs
internet surfing and asking life's meanings
Where is God?
Who is Becky?

you are different
I must hate you
I am perfect
I am special

hours turn into days
days into years

there is no breathing when you are living fear

we are different but feel the same pain

inside that toilet stall we all **** the same
900 · Jul 2014
pen
Heather Valvano Jul 2014
pen
The pen
I hold
in my hand
weaves its web
of magic
round
my fingers
little electric shocks
that flow on paper
enchanted currents
that paint
the artist
in the world
as a dreamer
in a dream
899 · Feb 2015
Green. Carpet. Zebra.
Heather Valvano Feb 2015
Snap.  Snap.
Dramatic Bass Line.
This is not a poem about how poetry is good.
This is a poem about how the poet doesn't care about the reader.
The poet wants to prove how smart he is.
Green.   Carpet.  Zebra.
Dramatic Bass Line.
Snap.  Snap.
880 · Jul 2016
What did I do today?
Heather Valvano Jul 2016
What did I do today?
Not enough
I didn't pray
I sat in a bar and wasted my life away
I didn't think about helping anyone but me
I am human and living in dichotomy
I don't want to write
I don't want to be a poet
I want to be ignorant of this world though I know it
What did I do today?
Nothing and everything
It ends the same way
The sun goes down
My eyes close and the world sleeps in its sin
The sun comes up
And I ask myself this question again
862 · Jan 2016
Head Trauma
Heather Valvano Jan 2016
head trauma
a finale to the played out drama
the bandages are about to come off
and you can't make it stop
you will have to look at what's underneath
the person you were fine with leaving to sleep

sad sleeping beauty
trapped in a cocoon of misery

she took back her hope
and now the fallout is going to make you choke
the fat lady's singing "that's all she wrote"
I won't suffer anymore of your
head trauma
sick games twisted plays fear and barter
the cuts have healed the burn has peeled
I've been reconstructed to let myself feel
and I don't have to deal with you
any longer
838 · May 2015
You'll Be A Butterfly Soon
Heather Valvano May 2015
Fit in

or breathe in your own skin
Shed the past
Don't let the snake skin choke like a net
Close your eyes
to what's outside your cocoon
The noise so loud you wish for a silent tomb
But don't give up
You'll be a butterfly soon
833 · Jul 2014
Cold, Smooth Stone
Heather Valvano Jul 2014
Cold, smooth stone
smooth like a hundred rivers
washed over
giving it shape
a long journey
of lost pirate ships in the deep
overgrown moss
like a carpet
under my feet
Cold, smooth stone
tell me
the tales of lovers
against your surface
the sun beating on you
and the moon
caressing your beauty
children dancing
using you as a stepping stone
Freckle-faced smiles
turning into serious eyes
campfires burning
enchanting legends of ghost stories
starry nights without sleep
Cold, smooth stone
tell me the
secret of reasoning
a thought, a mood, a moment
the feel of our skin connecting
laughter loud and in one voice
Cold, smooth stone
tell me the mysteries
of life.
766 · Feb 2017
the altruistic traveler
Heather Valvano Feb 2017
The altruistic traveler
Will always circle worlds
But will never find a home
Heather Valvano Jul 2014
time wasted
a fool no longer
dreams hastened
sparks catch
and feed the fire

No more shadows on my back
No more spinning wheels
No more constant attack
I want a heart that can feel

Wars waged
a slave no longer
hope made
there is more to life than desire

No more shadows on my back
No more spinning wheels
No more constant attack
I want a heart that can feel

Beats broken
this glue works no longer
courage spoken
I will become stronger

No more shadows on my back
No more spinning wheels
No more constant attack
I want a heart that can feel
725 · Sep 2014
Myself Finally
Heather Valvano Sep 2014
I have dreams, not delusions.  Finally myself, not an illusion.
Heather Valvano Nov 2015
All I want is something real
All I want is to let myself feel
Pain was pivotal
almost spiritual
Thrown from one end of the spectrum
a reparative reawakening has begun
I'm done with black and white
and lost and alone in achromatic fight
my mental bruises were self-portraits of masochistic injury
And you healed them when you touched me
All I want is something real
All I want is to let myself feel
Pain was crucial
now hope is essential
I let you see me
someone I don't always let myself see
and now I'm not scared to be seen
702 · Feb 2017
Bleed into one
Heather Valvano Feb 2017
Bleed out or
Bleed into one
Some have served their time
Some have just begun
We keep fighting
But no war has been won
Bleed out or
Bleed into one

Shout out or
Scream that it's done
Some read the signs
Some bite their tongues
White noise can be silenced
with a gun
Shout out or
Scream that it's done

Bleed out or
Bleed into one
Some are left behind
Some don't know how to run
Cover their eyes
Black out the sun
Bleed out or
Bleed into one

And when he looks down upon us
Can any say they were justified
and they won?

My heart bleeds out and is done
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
It seems
my dreams
can't keep
well enough
alone

it's been
months since
I've thought
of you

and you
show up
feeling like
home

the dream you
is better than
the real deal

he makes me
think I
should go
back to sleep

the dream you
has never
left me

it seems
I can't keep
well enough
alone

you only love me in my dreams
684 · Aug 2014
Coffee Cup
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
Tired
your eyes reflect
in a coffee cup
all the things
you've had to
overcome
pieces of burnt paper
breathed in your mouth
Staring
your hair falls
and covers your eyes
the cup is empty
and so are you
679 · Aug 2014
Kisses are seconds
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
Seconds are kisses
Let's stop time
It's my enemy now
I want to live in this alternate universe
with movies, underwear and wine
Kisses are seconds
Let's dream divine
Movies are minutes
We are the actors
and our futures are boundless
Limitless our kisses will stop time
669 · Oct 2014
vodka heartache
Heather Valvano Oct 2014
when I get drunk
I think of you
so I get drunk
to have an excuse
to dwell in you
you're my muse
***** heartache
double shots of you
#drunk #sad #love #muse #heartache
667 · Oct 2014
You
Heather Valvano Oct 2014
You
You're the sun among the stars.
You're the moon glowing as bright as mars.
You're the glass that makes rainbows dance in the light.
You're my dream when I close my eyes at night.

You make me feel like there's no one else in the world.
657 · Aug 2014
Moving against the current
Heather Valvano Aug 2014
Moving against the current
It would be easy
to just let go
to not have to trudge along
every step harder then the last
I might be submerged
drowned by the deep unknown
Hope as small as specks of sand
that fall through my fingers
I'll keep moving along
holding my heart above me
shielding it from the waves
and if my bridges are burned
I'll build new ones
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