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Don't call it a relapse.
Because I'm just getting started.
This next bowl of green goes out to all the brokenhearted.
I've been where you are
staring into the abyss.
Anything to fill the void
Always looking for the scripts.
I take a yellow for the blues
it'll kick in soon.

Feel the pain just fade away
and leave my mind in a haze.
This has become my every day.
I wish you all could feel this way.
I'm sorry
The moment you feared has arrived
Like the fat kid getting on the scale for the first time
Like the stoner taking a drug test
Like the old guy listening to the doctor
Here's the results's over
I give up
You wont mind
Hell I know you wont
Its already like its over
Maybe I'll sail away on a kite
Get lost in between the atmospheres
And all that's left is this little note
So I hope you read this
Dont text me now
I'll be too high to reply
But like all the other times
Its over before it ever started
Your silence was the reply that pushed me over the top
Your body screaming out in pain
The malevolent flame in your eyes
The decadence you taste
The death you reek of
You're petrified in malice
The god of your own demise
I hope you're happy now
Knowing you ruined a life
You never knew was worth living
I'm wishing on every shooting star
Counting seconds waiting for 1:11
Hoping nobody catches you
Before I can get to you
I'm running past vehicles
Bystanders pacing back and forth
Realizing its an angel falling from grace
This is my Fairytale
Telling you I love you
Knowing **** well I'd hate to love another
Yet this is your nightmare
Someone you barely know
Saving you from a destined fate
Whispering he loves you through text messages
You fear the happiness
Reject the obvious
Refuse my voice an echo
Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong
**** happens
You have a life
Why do I feel obligated to put myself first
In the long list of things that need your attention
I apologize
My ****** prison barred heart
Had never had an opportunity quite like this
The chance of parole
The key setting me free
It's the excitement
That maybe I finally found my peace
My center in a fluctuating gravity
My nirvana in a world captivated in hell
Maybe this is becoming both of our nightmares
Fairytale flies out the window
Every time I say I love you
Maybe I'll say it like this
You. Are. Indeed. Everything. I. Dreamed. About.
The reason to walk away from car wrecks
Slightly bleeding completely beaten
And I'll do it a thousand more times
Just to be able to say I survived for you
My minds reeling. But oh well life's a poem waiting to be written just need the ink to start and the audience to finish it
You've been in two car wrecks since your 18th birthday
You've had 1 girlfriend and 6 flings
1 more girl in your life
That's driven you mad with love
Yet to far away to reach
What's happened to you
The I don't give a **** attitude
Not caring whether you lived or died
Yet here you are hoping you have a purpose in life
Just because you got into another wreck
Guess life goes on
But your life: Seriously needs to ******* end
The cracking and popping of joints
To old in this youthful body
Eyes never smiling yet your lips do
The only time you seem to be happy
Is when you have a blunt
Or a nice bottle of jacks
Maybe you should have listened to the first letter
Just let go and disappear
Nothing left to tie you down
Yet everything seems to hold you back
The curiosity of what tomorrow brings
What new pains can e felt
What new joys can be tested
As if we lived in a science lab
Dude just give it up
I'm the only voice of reason you have
The one voice screaming in a crowded area
You Have No Life To Live
It's only the frail fragments if sanity
You cling to thinking tomorrow will be better
Might as well have died in those wrecks
But you seem to hold on
Your body is falling apart
All those people told us
When your life feels like its falling apart
It might be falling into place
Yet do you see a place for us to fit
Your fat *** can barely get into the back of a mustang
You can't even wear a seatbelt
So at least you have some sense
**** yourself through somebody else's error right
Failed miserably the first few times we tried
We aren't gods yet it feels like it
Refusing to cave in
Rejecting the possibility that we will die
Hell man just ******* do it
You have a 12 gauge by your  bedside
You have enough extension cord to tie a noose
We both know the trees around here are sturdy
You have your life
I have mine inside your head
The evil little voice
Everyone warned you about
The one they say will haunt you
But take a quick look back in the past
I think you can determine the future
All alone no one to love you
Just me and the other guys up here chilling
We don't love you
We're the ones forced to be here by your every thought
Might as well quit while your sober
That way when your high
You'll regret not giving up sooner
I see you
walking down the hall
Columbia blue shirt
khaki pants
my heart pitter-pats
as you walk by
you look my way
and I swoon
you smile
and I smile back
my insides jumping around
like magical jumping beans
I walk away
your eyes on my back
I smile to myself
sighing softly
sparks flying
I finally exist

I walk down the hall
you step out of the shadows
its just you and me
sparks flying
heart beating
excitement overload
I stop just before bumping you
you smile and say hey
I smile and say hi
you say you've noticed me
and that you like what you see
then give me a paper and a pen
can I call you sometimes
to ecstatic for speech
I nod my head
write it down
and hand it back
you walk away
leaving me with
a permanent smile
I think I'm in love

you text me
I respond overjoyed
we converse for a while
you don't text back
what did I do
message after message
no response
no response
my bad I went to sleep
relief overload

you see me in the hall
you smile and I smile back
you walk off
I walk off
10 pounds lighter and in love
I think about you all day
check my phone minute upon minute
second upon second
I'm hooked

days later
after school
we met up
you hug my waist
stare in my eyes
you're so beautiful
I can't breathe
you kiss me
I kiss back
we're in love
you pull away
tugging me with you
I follow readily
we head to your car
lets go for a ride
we get in
you pull off
sigh, so in love

we pull up to a house
you get out
I get out
would you like the tour
sure why not
we go inside
you close the door
you kiss me
I kiss back
you raise my shirt
I object
you say its okay
all girlfriend and boyfriend do it
girlfriend and boyfriend??
you try again
again I object
I love you baby. please, I wont hurt you
all morals fly out the door
you take off my shirt
I take off your shirt
next, my bra
my shoes, pants, underwear
you scrip down
to your birthday suit
your suit, my suit
together in our birthday suits
we ******
we kiss
we ****
I bleed
we ****
we rest
we go again
we rest
we clean up
we leave

days after
no response
no response
in the halls
I spot you and smile
you look, laugh, and kiss miss lady
square on the lips
I walk on
tears in my eyes
people stare
tears on my cheeks
people laugh
I run
people point
I run faster
What have I done?
Oh yeah I forgot
You don't have a voicemail
Only way you'll talk to me
Is if I text you and wait almost 6 hours
Just for a reply to say hi
Well I wanted to see how things were going
Like *** it's fabulous on my end
Understand the sarcasm and annoyance
In the tone of my voice
You stupid *******
I'll leave a message on your face
When my nuts are covering it
After I get done beating the **** out of you
You're suppose to be the person I can talk to
Yet you're always frowning
I'll leave a message at the...
Oh **** I'm calling myself
she gave me her headstrong face
left me feelin outa place
left me feelin like i had lost the space cadet race
then she pulled off her designer wares an i knew it wasn't the case
her mind is a frown
like its pervaded by a sad clown
like she is plundered holy ground
she just sits there open eyed without a sound
she gave me her headstrong face
but i just could not replace the shattered mind
no matter how unkind
fathead weak in her thoughts
ill at ease to where i had been brought
i just stood there mumbling
while her fingers did some bumbling
big wet smile on her face
left me feelin outa place
like i really did loose the space cadet race
kissing her headstrong face
You hold me gently
Letting me slither down your throat
You feel the burn of my venom
Slowly drifting you off into another life
I'm that bottle of jacks you cracked open
I'm the two cubes of ice
Clinking and clanking against the glass
I'm the condensation dripping off the glass
Onto your black satin pants
I'm the midnight stranger
You have one night stands with
Just to ease your problems

You hold me tightly
Letting my edges run across foreign skin
You feel the sting of my tip
Slowly rowing you off into a fantasy
I'm the blade you hold with pride
The drops of blood
Dripping and puddling at your feet
I'm the scar that wont go away
Hiding under ******* and bracelets
I'm the midnight stranger
You have one night stands with
Just to feel relief from yesterday

You hold me shaking
Letting my every fiber run around your neck
You feel the tightness of my grasp
Slowly release you from reality
I'm the noose you tide awkwardly
The black and blues
Bruising and beating on your neck
I'm the first resort you run to
Chasing off your worries along with the oxygen
I'm the midnight stranger
You have one night stands with
Just to get away from the depression

You hold me sweetly
Letting my cold steel hide behind your finger
You feel the weight of every bullet
Slowly sending you off to slumber
I'm the pistol you're afraid of
The silver and gold
Sparkling and shining in front of your face
I'm the last option you ever think of
Killing your thoughts with the pulling of a trigger
I'm the midnight stranger
You have one night stands with
Just to save yourself from tomorrow

These are my confessions as the midnight stranger
Always witnessing you leaving me behind
Rushing yourself out the door in the morning
No trace that our love ever existed
Even when I loved you like no other
Because I was the only one to ever love you
But you never shared love with
It was always hate
Pain we both endured together
As you forced me to take away your depression
Forcing me to **** the only friend I thought I could make
I'm the midnight stranger
You have one night stands with
Just because I'm all you ever had
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