I want to talk to someone... Anyone...
But I cannot talk to just anyone...
Not a single soul will understand my pain...
That is why I must write...
Paper is what became of a once beautiful soul..
Don't you see...
It's just like me...
Being killed til I lost my soul..
Now being used as disposable...
Being ****** dry by parasites in her life...
The only problem, she lets it happen...

I had you for a moment
Looking in your eyes I knew I had to turn away
Or I'd get lost, not being able to escape
I had you for a moment
Feeling butterflies at the sight of your smile
And hearing your laugh, it made me feel whole
I had you for a moment
Kissing your lips and being held tight
Made me feel infinite, more than alive
I had you for a moment
I started chipping away at your walls
And you chipping at mine
I had you for a moment
I gave you parts of  me I can never take back
And times spent with you that made me feel more buoyant than with any other man
I had you for a moment
And going to sleep with you and waking up to you next to me
There are no words for how blissful I felt
I had you for a moment
And you said you wouldn't leave me
But you were gone at the first sign of trouble
I had you for a moment and in a moment you were gone
Now I feel like I'm drowning when I think about you
And the empty side of the bed is a reminder how I wasn't good enough
And seeing you makes me want to weep with the hurt and disappointment in my heart
You left me to my dismay
And for a moment I was happy
And in a moment *it was lost

The pain of reality fills her mind
Anguished thoughts are constant
It slowly consumes her heart
Her soul turns icy cold
Shes's dead inside

Picture us hand in hand, taking a stroll by a glittering lake
Picture me kissing your lips in front of all our friends
Picture me smiling, gazing into your eyes
Picture us laughing, feeling on top of the world
Picture through every hardship I would be right there
Picture us holding each other so close, feeling complete, safe
Picture me calling you mine and only mine
I can picture us, I see it every time you smile
However, this picture will never be complete
For your feelings don't go as far as me

I stand on the sidelines,
waiting for your call,
yearning for your touch,
hunger for your body against mine,
craving your lips,
but this lust is not all I feel
I ache to have your heart
the desire to have you, all of you, is so genuine
you've made me laugh, you've made me cry
you've made me feel something I've never felt with anyone
but I must endure this yearning for you
because you will never feel the feelings I feel
because for to you, this is a game
and this heartache inside me is concrete

I hear your voice, I smile
I see your smile, my heart stops
I feel your lips, I melt
I touch your body, I become attached
You touch my body, I become fused to you
You're all I want, you're all I see
But you're not mine, nor ever will be

People say suicide is a selfish act
but it's selfish of people to want me to stay
when I need to be set free
this is your selfish act
I've lost myself and there's no finding me
don't tell me to be alive
I'm not living
my demons took over my mind
they won't let me live
be happy
be free from misery
yes, I'm alive
but I'm already dead inside
**let me go