I have value.
I am valuable.
Somewhere between when we first met, and when you first kissed me, I questioned my net worth
I have value
I am valu....
Able to decipher between the lines of your pleas and needs
I want to satisfy you.
I want to be the reason that you are content.
When you talk about what makes you happy,
I want to be one of the items that comes quickly to mind.
No hesitation
No thought
My name.
Comes out of your lips
Like fluid
Lips that I’ve kissed and bit and thought about kissing and wanted to kiss
Lips malleable between mine
I have value
I am valuable.
Begging you to let me into the sinuses of your heart and mind.
Begging you to let me into the places which you seek to hide
Wanting to know you completely.
I am not God.
Wanting to know your every thought and anticipate your every want or need
I am not God.
Even as I write this, I wonder what you’ll think
I wonder if I can create the image that I see in my mind in yours
I wonder if what we have is like inception
At first you think it’s one thing, but then you’re left unsure about all you thought you were sure about
I think the reason people have had a hard time getting to know me is because
I don’t even know me.
Who is _
What makes up my core
I don’t know.
I think I’ve just been living in a shell
Afraid to venture out
Or not feeling equipped or ready to undertake this thing called life
I don’t want to hurt you
I don’t want to disappoint you.
These are things that I should be saying to God.
Somewhere along the lines of time
I have made you a.....
I am valuable
I have value
I began this piece
Hoping to be able to express what I am feeling
The heaviness of my heart
And anxiety weighing on my mind.
I have failed.
I wanted to become immersed in my emotions so when I arose I would be ok.
I am not.
I think I want you to like me so badly.
I’ve lost my value.
I’ve lost sight* of my value
I have value
I am available
Sometimes our subconscious types the things we suppress
​

You are
beautiful,
intelligent,
determined,
motivated.

You are
ugly,
dumb,
lazy,
and
desperate.

Adjectives.
Words people try to use to confine me
They use descriptive words to remind me
Of who I was, where I was, and who I used to be
But Words,
Words--they can't DEFINE ME.
Because I
Am
Simply
..

​
They're on administrative leave like they asked us permission to leave our bodies... Lifeless
Or
They should have gotten permission to be dismissed BEFORE they left our bodies... Lifeless
Land of the free....How about Land on our Knees
Where we should be until we all can stand as tall as a tree.... Not hanging, from a tree

The noose has been replaced by a shiny black casing, The broken neck has been replaced by blood freely flowing The tree has been used to make OUR encasing.... The result... [hashtag]this [hashtag]that [hashtag]blacklivesmatter
but... [hashtag]itdoesntmatter because apparently we are not all made of equal matter
Sterling Silver used to be considered quality , but apparently...that's dead.

B stands for bold. Beautiful. Brave. Boisterious, without the B in black there consists just a Lack of color, creativity, attitude...
Lying to us daily, telling us our skin color isn't a crime only that it cuts short our time to be

Alive. Breathing, Heart beating, Lub Dub Lub Dub Lu....ve you are the two words that you may never hear. Are the two words that they don't get to hear because

Crack. Pop pop pop Hands up Don't ..... Blood flowing on the streets, like road ****, except I'd hoped by now evolution would have taken us to the top of the animal kingdom, but there's still more outrage over Harambi the silverback than Philando Castile, violently attacked...

Pronunciation please: Blac (black) B-L-A-C
is still the same pronouncement without the

K.....K... K . Still afraid to wake up day after day after day... Not knowing if this could be our last where the blackness on our skin becomes our permanent surroundings
Or Not knowing if this could be our last where the blackness on our skin becomes the ghost of Christmas future, the past and present left to rest in peace...

We should be praising the Lord when we wake up on the land of living, breathing, heart beating, lub dub lub dub....
HANDS UP ..... But you asked for my license's I was already reaching...
Don't shoot.... But I wasn't planning to, my four year old is in clear view.