I've run out of room
In this endless notebook
Filled with thoughts and words
How absurd
I have filled an infinity
What a story that's be spun
It continues forever
But still has an end
That is: *things are never over
They only begin

There is a
Sorrow on the surface of
Your eyes, and a distance
in your voice like the
Stars.
Your love seems more
like Charity, and when
You sit, your attention
,down cast, seems
Pious. There is no
age in your skin
as though you are still
being born!
And when I speak with
You, there is an emptiness
In your words, and I am made
      Happy and Sad by
Your hidden silence.

And I made you a
Heartsong. I played it,
and sang it in the morning
when the breeze brought
dew, and the mist was
bright, and the birds
sang too.

And I made you a
Poem. And your cheeks
were roses, suddenly blooming;
and trailing behind me
were ten thousand peddles,
each one representing a
thought of you.

It's being stuck in a dark room
Separated from the light of happiness, by a cruel locked door
That has a small viewing glass for you to see
What lies on the other side,
Within your reach

It's having what seems like an entire ring of keys
To open the door, yet they're all the same key

It's refusing to stand up,
To take advantage of the little bit of light
That shines through the viewing glass for you

The little bit of light that'll show you
You keep recycling the same key
Over and over again

Because you use the dark to see

We were alone. Again.
Even though he didn’t know it. I was with him, sitting in his closet, he never came in here so I never had to worry. Watching him sit so peaceful, he hummed, so serene. He flipped his hair back, humming, watching him, I knew we were meant to be. I felt his old shirts rubbing them between my fingers, smelling him. I leaned down and slipped off my shoes, putting on his shoes, a perfect fit. I grabbed a sock and put it in my pocket for later.
“Hello?”
A voice. Beautiful and deep, came from outside the closet. His voice, I was almost lost in it’s stupor. He was coming to take me, I just knew it. I jumped out of his closet, almost breaking the hinges, softly and lovingly I said, “I’ve been waiting for you all night”.
I pulled the knife and rope out of my pocket, being careful to keep his sock. He backed away, I didn’t understand, I just wanted him to love me.
Why doesn’t he see this is the only way we can be together? The only way we can be happy. Nearing him I spoke softly and gently. “We will finally be together”
Slitting his wrist, he gasped in pain, crumpling on the floor. Another slice and he lay so quiet. I sliced open my arm long ways, feeling my blood spill all over myself and him, I lay by him, and we were alone again.

Emotion and tone,
like sugar
in your tea.

Five A.M.
I wake up gasping
Crying, Shaking
nightmares

You
I was talking to you
For the first time in a while
nightmares

That wasn't so bad
But then you told me
You hated me
nightmares

No, no.
I couldn't take that
I woke up sobbing
nightmares

Five thirty A.M.
Writing this down
So maybe, I won't have more
nightmares?

1,2,3,4
she drops her razor to the floor
5,6,7,8
she looks up and says "its not too late"
she throws her razor in the bin
and promises herself never to use a razor for harm again,
months past and shes stressed again
she picks up scissors and grazes her legs
she crys as grazes appear on her skin
no blood just scars.
shes sick of everything