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halle Aug 2020
you can't catch shooting stars on the tip of your tongue.
he'd tried and tried
and failed and failed.

he couldn't help it
( and could you blame him? )

he'd fallen in love with the february snow
and the august heat, but now his tongue was burnt and his eyes were filled with tears.

he knew it's dangerous to love something that falls that fast.
halle Aug 2020
i used to be afraid of happiness.
all good things come to an end, don't they?

not always.

it took 20 years to get that through a thick skull l.
fortunately, i don't care.

i am happy.
happiness is not a punishable offense. they cannot throw me in jail because of this smile

if they could, they would lock me up and throw away the key.
halle Aug 2020
i am from pastel purple easter eggs,
princess dresses covered in glitter
— the kind that gets itself everywhere, all over the floor as i spin around and around while singing along to the jonas brothers at the top of my lungs.

i am from that little yellow house on morningwood ( the only one with the triangle roof ) that we would leave to go to disney world, kentucky, georgia, the moon
— anywhere mom wanted.

i am from nana's spaghetti, splattered all over the offwhite velvet dress i got that christmas morning as i watch any and every disney movie while sat on my belly in front of the tv.

i am from crying at fireworks; the sound not the sight. running after butterfies in the backyard as the sun dips deeper in the suburban sky.

i am from the seemingly little things that some might consider childish. sure, they are, but these memories fill me with happiness.

dorothy was right. there is no place like home.
halle May 2020
better me than him.
why can't it be me instead of him?
he's never dreamt of half the mistakes i've made.
he is nothing but sugar sweetness and the cleanest purity.

no one who can and should is helping and they know that i will remember this. they best know that my closet is full of bones and hatchets unburied.
god as my witness, they will hear my screams of mourning.

mother would rather consult the computer and all the doctors are after a dollar.
can't they step back and realize he's in pain?
do they not know that a pure heart is bleeding out and the only one who cares enough to try and stop it is me?

if i could take on his pain, i would have done it yesterday when he arrived -- for then, he wouldn't know pain, know loss, know fear.
those words need not be in his vocabulary, those feelings need not be in his heart.
i would take it off his tiny shoulders.

angels aren't ours to keep, but god, could i have at least gotten 48 hours of his time before heaven reached down to reclaim him?
i knew he was heaven sent the moment i saw him.
no matter how it ends, i am thankful to have looked a heavenly being in the eyes, but i wanted to see his soul before it went back home.

why, why, why?
halle May 2020
but now it doesn't matter
cause it only hurts me
and out of 7 billion
i'm who no one wants to see
halle May 2020
so now i suppose i'll have to act like
i don't know you, we didn't come so close
and who knows?
maybe we never were. me not being
there didn't **** you like
it killed me.

so you just make yourself comfortable
down the lane of my memory
i'll visit you often
and see where oh where it gets me
halle May 2020
i'm gasping for air
i'll never get
maybe if you'd miss me you would care.

who am i kidding?

i've been trying to get you to see me
for years beyond years,
but here i am with the sunlight pooling through
and you don't look at me

you never do.
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