What is happiness?Happiness is a short lived moment in her life. Sadness or darkness will always be there to stay forever. Bad energies, stress, unbalanced emotions are what she knows and will know forever. Her sun is always hidden. Where is she even going in life?She asks, hoping the maker will respond.
This is where battle cry by Sia & Angel Haze would start playing.
“If you don’t feel like you’ve been stabbed in the chest every time you write poetry, you’re not doing it right. Because the part of you that’s hurting needs to bleed, needs to die. That’s how a poem is born.”
To crave such exploration from desires deep within, has led to lessons, heartache, love, regrets, and pleasured sin. But through my brave intrusiveness, a storm began to brew, the thrill of yearning wanderlust had led me straight to you.
And I want to tell her that I understand what it feels like to be fake, insignificant, and a shadow on the sidewalk of society.
And I want to tell her that I also borrow the experiences of others -- that I, too, learn feelings by stopping and staring at personal wreckage, like a tourist of emotions, like an inevitable wish of a human being.
Your life is a constant fight I sense it all around you Day and night Your anger flys through windows Your curiosity is what causes my insecurities A troubled soul Letting trouble take its toll Yet some how you stole my heart
I've tried a lot of things I've prayed a lot of times But I'm still terrified of the needle that pierces my veins
Cried and cried Shut my eyes Clench my fists A pain that never seems to quit
Helpful act Leaving nothing but a dimple In my brain though, it's not so simple
No child But I remember When I was a child Over and over Needle after needle Again and again Sickness with no end
Stuck with a fear Bred inside my head A fight I cannot fight A threat I will always detect
No neglect Just a kid who hid the hounding Behind a sickness with no end
When I was in 1st grade I was bullied a lot and had a lot of fear while at school so I would make myself sick and go home pretty often. Because no one knew I started having tests done at the hospital which involved a lot of needles.
The door The floor Hush The walls The windows Whisper Muted cries Muffled shouts Painting the walls like dust The words are not for us It's the lot behind The door The floor Hush The walls The windows whisper Muted cries Muffled shouts I've got no doubts when I hear your voice "But it's past my curfew" I tell myself "I've got no choice" The door The floor Hush The walls The windows Whisper Muted cries Muffled shouts I don't know you Though I feel like I do The door The floor Hush The walls The windows Whisper Muted cries Muffled shouts Night after night I peek through the curtains Once the fight ends I see you walk the length of the fence Wiping tears only I have seen you cry The door The floor Hush The walls The windows Whisper Silent sobs Shattered parts I wish so badly I could mend your heart
I've never met him but we often hear him and his mom fighting. I can never tell what it's about but I've always imagined he was innocent.