I need to tell you the truth
Not lie nor give you an excuse
I have a crush on you babe
But fear your love, that it’s fake
Situation so repulsive
Yeah, heart has me chasing after toxic

Afraid to ask, but I wanna say...
I want you bad & I can’t no longer wait.
You’re making me vulnerable right now
It’s everything I’ve always want
You’re breaking my heart, walls burning down
It’s everything I’ve never want

Dying flower, dying flower
Dying flower, dying, dying dying
Dying flower, dying flower
Dying flower, dying, dying, dying

my restraint, may seem like an impregnable enemy line
but when your love blooms and wind sniffs the wound of your heart,
let the fragrance sneak in and cut me like an elvish sword.

I want to feel the breaking of my own skin. the resist of the blade on my upper thigh.
god, I am worthless.
the only thing that makes me feel as good as you do is the trickle of blood down my legs.
how quirky.
I can't even describe myself.
I am becoming my father. addiction will always be a top priority.

"I promise, I promise"
and to think, I would never break one.

I am everything I am trying to run away from.

id risk my whole life for you if thats what you wished.
id lasso the sun if you needed a light.
id capture the stars so you can be among them.
id give you my lungs so you can breath the crisp winter air.
id give my life to you if thats what you wished.
because my darling, your wish is my command

you always loved card games.
slaps, war, jacks.  you name it, we played it.
but your favorite card game was called hearts.

we dealt our love, feelings, friends. we threw them all on the table.
you had me deal my heart.

and we played.

like always, since it was your favorite, you won.
taking what was dealt on the table and walking out.

i still think about this wicked game you played. and i still think about my heart. i wonder if it beats for you, i doubt it would. but sometimes in the earlier hours if the morning ill see you.

and i can feel my old heartbeat in my fingertips, slowly drifting me off to sleep. and making me think, if part of me still longs to play the game.