me.

when you see me
you only see my exterior
you see my baggy tees
and hazel eyes
you don't see the interesting parts of me
you don't see
my love for films
my adoration for a cat called lavender
my curiosity stored for murderers
my gypsy like spirit
my heart for poetry and literature
my collection of thick blankets and sweaters
my fondness for the brown haired girl miles away
my memories connected to lyrics and concert tickets
my obsession with candles and sunsets
you don't see the real me
unless you want to
and i want you too as well
because when you do
your able to see
my poetry with story upon story
my camera roll of cat and concert pictures
my messy room after a weekend trip
my eyes tired of awakening from sleep
my blush whilst reading
my smile reserved for my cat and loved ones
my tidiness caused from stress and feeling
my 7 am sleepy laugh
my messy self after a week of difficulty
when you see me
you see all of me
the destroyed me, the happy me, all of me
and you'll only see that
if i want you too

im guarded but no one would know it. for some reason i still think that this is beautiful and its okay to think that

i love movies and music
that get me in this exact mood
this mood
that is undescribeable
where it feels like life is a film
filled with the emotions
that come rare in life
and this mood comes often
but no one would understand
because its as though i'm the only one feeling it
it's as though i'm living through nostalgia and newness altogether
as though i'm floating through everything
it may be the most difficult thing to describe
but it is the most desired thing i feel

i love this feeling. of contentment and mellowness.

Too many miles lay between
me and my favorite people
Too many numbers
that cause emotional
early morning conversations
But in the end we know
that these numbers are only numbers
And one day these numbers will go down
and we will be together
Because numbers can't destroy
a connection so strong

I want to meet my online friends so bad.
Spoon~3,678
Guitar~9,918

Let's not make this easy
Let's make this hard and crazy
Let's make nearly impossible dreams
and almost unachievable goals
We are not gonna be the teens that go the easy route anymore
We are gonna be the ones with wild dreams and full imaginations
We are gonna be the ones with fun stories and eventful lives
We are the ones who want to go the down the interesting road
Cuz the easy road got boring generations ago
And we aren't wanting that anymore
We don't want your cookie cutter lives
We want graffiti covered careers
We want adventure filled schooling
We want bass filled stories
We are sick of being told to go the easy way
We just want to have good lives with fun stories

I always do things the difficult way and i always say "its no fun doing it the easy way" I dont think the easy way will match the way i want to live life.  i want tattoos for memories and worn out flannels for home. i dont want whatever is gonna go with the easy road
Hannah Rogers Jun 11

sometimes i miss our friendship
and i miss the summers spent
playing volleyball in your backyard
with the boy from down the street
but then i stop and think
of how horrible you were to me
you weren't a real friend
you used me as a crutch during your suicidal days
yet i was alone and weeping over life
you hurt me emotionally
and to pretend like you cared
i'd receive gifts and plastic tears
with choreographed paragraphs filled with apologies
and i forgave you time and time again
it's days when i miss you, the happy you,
that i accept that the happy you isn't here anymore
and i stop missing you
because with you i forgot what friendship was
because without you i can sleep again
because with you i'm confined to only you
because without you i'm happy
and surrounded by people willing to teach me
what a real and healthy friendship is

i used to love that poem
until you heard it
and got mad at me for writing it
and it makes me angry
because your just now realizing
that this is how I've perceived you my whole life
as a man who's never had anything stable
because you screwed with women
and abandoned home at sixteen
now that you have something stable
you're terrified of losing it
but yet you get angry
when the truth is told to you
that your grasping for stability
like sand running through your fingertips
you hate that poem for it holds only truth
and that's why i love it so much
cuz' I've learned from that poem
I've learned that you can't accept the truth

You don't love me
You love the idea of me
You love the character you've made of me
You love your character with mine
But that's not you
That's who you want to be
And you don't want to be with me
You want your character to be with me
And that's not how this going to work
Because I am not being a character
I'm being the real me
And I'm not going to be placed into your story like that
Surprise surprise i'm a real human
If you want to be with me and tell me you love me
Please step out of costume first
Then maybe this tale will end a different fate

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