I do not knock at death's door,
I dance with him, closely interlaced
We glide across the river of souls
Throughout the night until it bleeds into day.
I do not spin free of his grasp
Nor do I fall from his hands to be laid in the ground.

I cannot fall from his hands for I am chained to life.
I am tasked to live on this earth to fulfill a purpose I am unaware of
One day I will find the reason I live, but not tonight
I dance with death, slowly gliding across the river of souls
I listen to his siren’s sweet songs, the promise of the ending of pain

Yet I hear the cries of the living
They beg me to stay to fulfill my purpose
They say I matter, and they say it will get better
They have faith that it will and offer me support

Their cries are powerful, they cry overpowering the sirens sweet melody
I am chained to living, but know the realness of death
I’ve grown close to death but am still called upon by the living
The chains of living had pulled me from my dance

And after many years of pain and guilt and sorrow I know my purpose
Here I warn others of the siren’s songs.
I warn of the empty promises of death and the deception of our dance.
For I have danced with death but am bound to life

I want to cry, curl in a ball and lay in bed for days
Yet I smile, laugh, and move as if nothing is wrong.
I am tired and hurt, but I push my emotions aside
Letting them build behind a dam in the desert one drop at a time
It nears the peak height of this dam and I wonder what will come

Will it burst through like a tsunami destroying everything in its path
Will it flood slowly creeping its way to the world around me
Will the dam break under the weight of this burden
Will I break under the weight of this?

I stand strong for those I care about to protect,
But inside I need a cane to stand without falling
No one knows the truth though, no one can see

The mirage is my work, effective and clean.
No one can see the truth just their desires
As I play the part like a puppet
Enrapturing the audience, having them see what I want
Not the redness around my sapphire eyes,
But the vibrancy of the sapphire as it reflects the stage lights
So skilled is my work no one will know,

I sit here and write as I unveil my mask, and cut my strings
The dam is leaking, as a small tear falls down my face
My smile, giving way to a worrisome look
As the sapphire is engulfed by scarlett

The dam is under the water, but it does not tear the world around me
It does not destroy me within minutes of chaos and confusion
The water trickles over slowly giving life to new growth.
The once dry desert becomes a meadow,
And the dam destroyed ending the mirage.

Is there anything out there?
Day in and day out I see death,
I see sorrow, agony, suffering and endless plights.

Day in day out I work to save them,
I work to keep them on this earth,
Even when they want to give up.
Day in day out I keep them alive,
In a world they did not choose,
In a life they did not choose.

Day in day out I send them home,
I hope they live well I hope they find peace.
Day in day out they return to me broken,
Put together to be shattered by the world around them.

Day in day out I hope for them,
I hope they find a way to make this world work for them.
Day in day out I beg for them,
To an unknown force that I don’t believe in.

Day in day out I supply hope,
But day in day out I am running out of hope.

Day in day out I look for you
I look for someone or thing that can right the wrongs of the world.
I look for a mighty force that I can not see
Day in day out I do not find you,
But I beg of you to keep them well.

What seemed like an eternity was only a moment.
The reminders of this moment haunt me.
They plague my dreams, my mind, my thoughts;
I fear them but I press on

It was only a moment that felt like an eternity.
This moment defined my life, but not in the way you would think.
I could lay down and rest for an eternity but no.
This moment became my drive.
I press on in life with an inferno inside my heart.

The horrid eternal moment is the reason I choose to be who I am,
This moment taught me to choose,
This moment taught me that I am a person.

A white rose turns brown and begins to hide within in itself
The leaves turn brown and slowly the contracted rose begins to
       loosen
It is frail now, so much that it looks like it will break if I touch it
The beauty within it is but a memory now.

I gaze at the flower etching the image of this rose into my mind
       and I compare it to its former beauty.
I put it in water and slowly it returns and begins to flourish.

It was in that moment I realized, I am the same.
If I hide within myself I become frail, I begin to wilt.
But if I stay in the water, in the love and support
I will flourish and my beauty will remain.

Wandering through the woods,
The colors of the world become engulfed in the snow.
The once colorful world becomes more simple, near black
    and white.
The simplicity of the world makes the answers to the world
    seem just in grasp,
But then I look up and the sky is a mirage of colors as the sun
     rises.

The simplicity that once I believed in melted as I gaze at the
     mornings beauty.
For the world is never easy, even if it appears that way.
Remember to look up at the sky and remember there is
     always color.