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Jan 2018 · 635
Hannah Jan 2018
I’ve traveled
a million miles
on an open road
with memories of home
strapped to broken bones.
these dreams are heavy
against will
that’s strong as stone,
but I’ll carry these feet
across the desert ground.
With the moon above me
I’ll hear my spirit howl.
Like the wolves that run
their forest ground.
I’m meant to roam,
to let my spirit soar.
High as condors
above the mountaintops.
I know
comes at a cost,
but so does
that has to be bought.  
don’t you worry
I’ll never get lost.
I have the stars,
and a thin blue line
between the folds
of my map.
I don’t know
these strangers
or places I stop,
but my eyes are open
to the hourglass of time.
I’m not scared.
I know
where I’m going.
My destination
is everywhere.
don’t you worry
I’ll be fine.
When my cup is full,
and my heart is whole
I’ll follow the stars,
and wander back home.
I’ll be fine.
Jan 2018 · 1.3k
Hannah Jan 2018
We are
on the forefront
of a revolution.
Our generation
holds the key
to eternal peace.
We are
the rising tide,
the ones
that will shift
the tipping point
of our world.
We will
ride the wave
to a new millennia,
or let it crash
the breakwall.

We have a choice.

Be the lighthouse
that shines
through the storm,
or repeat history
in one more
****** war.

What will you stand for?
Jan 2018 · 1.7k
Hannah Jan 2018
I fall
to remain
This is
my way.
To hold
my breath
diving deeper.
To hold
my bones
just a little
This is
how I know
I am whole.
I have
else to go.
No one
else to
rely on.
I count
on my
own soul.
It might
lead me
the snow
and cold,
but I know
it will
lead me
Dec 2017 · 1.7k
Hannah Dec 2017
She’s a restless bird
inside a cage
with fragile bones
and broken wings
her eyes were pierced
by her lover’s sting
she trusts
though she cannot see
her beak was tied
by her lover’s string
she waits
to be set free
she weeps
like the moon
does the sea
begging him
*let the caged bird sing.
Set her free.
Dec 2017 · 420
Hannah Dec 2017
I can feel her pulsing
through my veins
she’s a silver sun
without a name
her love is like
a fire untamed
a burning breath
of summer rain
she bound my heart
with a silken chain
and held my soul
as she stole my pain
her loving light
hides no shame
between our gaze
there is no blame.
Dec 2017 · 3.8k
Hannah Dec 2017
has set
me free.

It is
can ever
take away
from me.
Dec 2017 · 4.3k
Hannah Dec 2017
I may
be soft
but at least
I’m not
of my own
Nov 2017 · 815
Hannah Nov 2017
This journey
has awakened
something deep
inside me
for the first time
in my life
my heart is full
from the cold
with love
for myself
and the scars
that mark
my soul
will not
go untold
but instead of
ripping me apart
they’ll be let go
reclaiming my divinity
my tarnished spirit
is forever whole.
Nov 2017 · 421
Hannah Nov 2017
With every act of certainty
I reclaim my identity.
I deserve to be here.
My past does not own me.
My mistakes do not define me.  
I am whole in my brokenness
— blossoming slowly
into my new found freedom.
I am finally whole
—battle wounds and all
there is nothing
that can stop me now.
Nov 2017 · 408
San Bernardino
Hannah Nov 2017
November 20th,

Drowning in moonlight
beneath the november sky
the stars shine like lanterns
across the desert night.

The tranquil waters
of the Colorado River stop time,
as patiently— I wait for sunrise.

There’s nothing quite like it
over the San Bernardino sky.
Nov 2017 · 321
Hannah Nov 2017
In this life
you will meet those
who hold on to your pain
like it’s gold.
They will
treasure your failures
and silently smile
when you fall to the ground.
It is their nature
to be so heartless and cold
because they don’t see
the love
they hold in their own soul.
The suffering
they see in others
gives them the illusion
of an enlightened mind.
When really
all they have
is a heavy soul
weighed down
from an egotistical point of view.
These are the souls
that will flap their wings
without ever
lifting off the ground.
there are the old souls.
The ones
that give their all
to living a life
that’s pure as gold.
They come from
the roughest cut of stone
carrying the heaviest baggage
under brittle broken bones.
Yet still
they smile
as they pass by
the young souls
desperately flapping
to get off the ground
of what the old souls discovered long ago
they must
sacrifice their wings
and be willing
to take the stairs
with all their baggage
with eyes full of tears
because that’s the only way
they will ever
get out of here.
Nov 2017 · 229
Hannah Nov 2017
I’ve been traveling for about a week now. It feels strange to be back on the road. Living out of a backpack and driving until I can no longer see the lines on the road. Pulling over and sleeping in some sketchy walmart parking lot in some random southern town a thousand miles from home. But I know this open road is leading me somewhere. I can feel it in my bones. I was meant to drive from coast to coast. To see the sunrise over new places. To spark my soul into remembrance — *you are still alive.
It’s been awhile.
Oct 2017 · 290
Hannah Oct 2017
I had the oddest dream last night. I was watching myself grow up as a child. I felt as though I was seeing through another’s eyes. I think maybe it was my great grandmother showing me the light I have inside. I’m not sure exactly why, but it was truly a gift from the other side. I felt such a sense of pride that I awoke with tears in my eyes.
Oct 2017 · 310
Hannah Oct 2017
there are dreams
there are memories
and their difference
lays somewhere in between
Oct 2017 · 631
Hannah Oct 2017
It hit me with surprise as I was standing there beneath a starlit sky. I was so aware of life, so aware of time that I became petrified I would never again return to my kind. But when I opened up my eyes I saw the same starlit sky, and upon this realization I began to cry. For I longed for the place with swirling lightening tides. For the home I’ll return to upon my own sweet demise.
Oct 2017 · 484
Hannah Oct 2017
is a way
of survival.

It repairs the heart.
Oct 2017 · 289
Hannah Oct 2017
burn her from inside.
I can see it in her shy timid eyes.
The way they dart and hide
masking confidence
with white little lies.
Oct 2017 · 314
Hannah Oct 2017
and from this pain
love will grow.
Oct 2017 · 349
Hannah Oct 2017
I believe that now,
more than ever,
we are in need of souls
that pour their hearts
onto paper at 3am.

When the world is quiet,
that's when we hear the best.
Oct 2017 · 585
Hannah Oct 2017
Entry ~
*I wonder what people see when they look at me. A girl with hazy eyes too tired to see? With ***** blonde hair, skinny legs, wearing an over sized black tee. A girl that smokes a lot of ****, and drinks way too much tea. Maybe they see the written travesty of me. Heard the stories of my early identity. How I used to be so easy and naive. Got down on my knees for the simplest "please" from boys who never gave a **** about me. It's no surprise I swore off boys when I was seventeen. Of course it didn't last. Girls never did it emotionally for me. And I wonder how much of this is perceived when people look at me. I can usually see it in their eyes. When buzzing questions of my puzzling past arise. I can read between the lines. I know everyone wants to know why. But there are no simple answers I can give to ease anyone's mind. My past isn't something I care to hide. I'm only human, and we all have a darkness inside. It took a long time to repair my pride. Something that shines bright through the haze in my eyes. I'm not ashamed. I know that I'm kind, and I've heard stories way worse than mine. I'm grateful and healed with a wonderful life. I've made mistakes, but shame is only relevant for a certain amount of time. I want people to see that when they look in my eyes. See that I'm living proof in the complexity of life. I'm the girl with hazy hazel eyes. With tight black leggings and a gap between my thighs. I have a tarnished reputation, and a silent observant eye. Even when I'm silent I'm fully present in mind. If you see me on the streets feel free to say hi, and don't worry I won't bite if you dare ask me why.
Oct 2017 · 353
Hannah Oct 2017
Thanks for putting up with
my mood swings and blues.

I learned how to love
by imitating you.
Sep 2017 · 7.0k
Dear Dad
Hannah Sep 2017
Entry ~
You were the first man that ever broke my heart. It was the day I was born. You held me in your arms and made me a promise that would rip us both apart. You promised to love me unconditionally from the start. But time passed and over the years those words faded from your heart. In the presence of a war when you had one foot out the door. There are vacancies in my memories where a father should have played a part. Like teaching me to drive a car, or telling me don't believe boys that say I love you from the start. Instead, I looked at every boy with tears in my eyes and willingly accepted every single lie, thinking maybe if I part my thighs they'll learn to love how broken I am inside, but they never do. Just like you they leave without a single clue and I'm left alone, used, wishing my daddy would have loved me too. And I'm not writing this to blame you, or break you, or tell you I hate you. I've made mistakes too. Ones deeply rooted in my relationship with you. And I get that maybe you didn't have a clue that your daughter was struggling in the world without you. But I relied on you to set the standard for boys I would let into my heart. By the time I was sixteen, I felt like a tortured piece of art. I learned to love myself of course. Over the years of ripping myself apart I learned to chart the darkness in my own heart. I don't blame you anymore for my broken parts. I'm healed from being angry at you. I'm writing this to tell you I'm sorry for failing you, and I'm sorry you failed me too.
The apple never does fall too far from the tree.
Sep 2017 · 745
Hannah Sep 2017
Same soul
different bones.
Sep 2017 · 7.6k
The Butterfly Effect
Hannah Sep 2017
Entry ~
I know you're scared. You should be scared. You're taking a huge leap of faith leaving the only "home" you've ever known. But that home you built isn't four walls, and a solid tin roof. It's your soul. It's that thumping in your chest that keeps you awake at 2am. It's the memories you've stored, locked away tight behind steel bars, because god only knows if those bars weren't there those memories would hit you like the eye of a storm. Calm at first, sweet, but then painful, like shards of glass beneath your feet. And I know how much it hurts to leave. To walk away from so many unresolved things. To remove yourself from the lives of people you rely on, that rely on you. But part of living is knowing when to leave. It's knowing when your environment no longer suits the shell you're in. It's easy to tell when that chapter of your life begins. It starts with a slow depression easing its way in, and an unexplained restlessness. I know how much you fight it. The warning signs telling you it's time to go again. You are so afraid of being free, but your curiosity has its own needs. It was never a choice being free. It's always been a part of your destiny. I know you've felt that unexplainable presence easing your anxiety. And it's okay to breathe. It's okay to just be. To not know where you're going to be next spring. It's all a part of the plan. You need to have faith that those guiding you won't lead you astray. You are being protected, and I know you aren't religious, but when you feel like you've lost your way, fall to your knees, and pray. Look for the butterfly, and have faith that one small act of courageousness will set your life in motion. But you have to be willing to take action first. So flap your wings, and don't be afraid of the tornado that follows. You created your fear, and only you can survive in the wake of it.
I wrote this letter to myself. I'm preparing to travel again. In a little less than a month, I'll be on the road to Oregon. I don't have much of a plan this time, all I know is it's time to go.
Aug 2017 · 329
Hannah Aug 2017
We are weightless
to change shot
straight through our veins,
like ****** corrupts the holy,
we embrace pain,
and forget that love
is ours to give.
It's ours to give.
Aug 2017 · 842
Hannah Aug 2017
I found a picture of you today
buried beneath the clutter
of seven years of pain.
I remember when it was taken.
You were so full of life that day.
I swear your smile
could have led boats
back to the bay.
I remember your presence,
and the way it felt
to hold your attention.
Those eyes
a raging fire
with a crystal clarity
meant only for the divine.
I swear you hold secrets
between the walls of time.
I can still hear you
when I whisper your name
over the rolling waves
of the lake,
your final resting place.
I swear when I'm there,
I can feel your hand
on my shoulder,
comforting me,
like a warm summer rain
on a beautiful August day.
Aug 2017 · 355
Hannah Aug 2017
There is
blood on the moon,
a message written
in deep red blues,
warning me,
of you.
Aug 2017 · 1.8k
Hannah Aug 2017
Were you ever real at all?
Aug 2017 · 5.8k
Hannah Aug 2017
I don't know
which way to go.
I'm blinded by
the tears in my eyes,
and numb
to the way I feel inside,
but baby,
at least the bottle's dry.
Aug 2017 · 448
Hannah Aug 2017
I fold my wings at night,
only the dark underside is seen,
and I become invisible
to predators passing around me.
Aug 2017 · 319
Hannah Aug 2017
Time moves forward
with an unforgiving hand.
Aug 2017 · 373
Hannah Aug 2017
I am free
to follow my heart,
and love like the sea.
Aug 2017 · 428
Hannah Aug 2017
Black birds
sing until dawn,
smoke and cinder
raining down
on everyone,

shaking like bones,

carry your shame
bound tight inside
an angel's name,

black wings
carry me home,

take me back
where water meets
the winding roads,

red barns
burning to ash,
flames that flicker
far beyond the avenue,

nobody knows
what the new world holds,
but mama says,
love like water,
and wander back home.
Aug 2017 · 7.5k
Hannah Aug 2017
I'm drifting
through my dreams,
occasionally colliding
with a hint of certainty.
I'm higher than I seem,
fighting the concept
of reality as a means.
I'm lost in the sky.
I can't remember why,
but life is just easier
when I get a little high.
Jul 2017 · 439
Hannah Jul 2017
Sunday mornings
come and go away.
I see the sadness
written on her face,
when she's lost in sleep
there's a language
that she speaks,
between her lips,
and the tears
staining the sheets.
Jul 2017 · 1.4k
Hannah Jul 2017
I'm walking down
the railroad track.
I have a cigarette,
a bottle of jack,
and a wife at home
that thinks
I'm coming back.
Jul 2017 · 1.4k
Hannah Jul 2017
Black birds fly,
raven's sing,
there's ash on
the window sill

red bird's wing,
feathers white,
time slows down
as we pass by

salmon swim,
black bears cry,
as slowly
she closes her eyes

nighttime falls,
red wolves howl,
way up on
the mountain peak

fragile bones,
fallen trees,
a hundred years of sleep

someday you
may just find
a woman king,
a hundred years of peace.
Jul 2017 · 385
Hannah Jul 2017
I've never been to the city,
but I've spent a million nights
lost beneath the starlight.
I used to dream of subway stations,
lively streets and crowded bars,
but after wandering through forgotten towns,
and sleeping under starlanced
I could never live in the city.
I've never felt peace
like I have at the shores
of a perfectly still creek.
I wouldn't find that there,
not between the mugger's,
and people yelling in the streets.
I thought I wanted it,
but after traveling across the country,
I know what makes my soul happy.
I want sunrises after 12 hours of driving,
with no direction,
but towards the setting sun.
I want nothing,
but the security of me and you
moving along with the current
of our nomadic souls.
Jul 2017 · 279
Hannah Jul 2017
I have tired eyes,
with a sweet soul
under a black veil
Jul 2017 · 403
Hannah Jul 2017
Addictions work in the same way.
It doesn't matter if you're addicted to smoking crack beneath the city freeway,
shooting dope in some sketchy halfway house
on the west side of town,
or starving your body
for the illusion of control.
They all have one purpose,
to get you high.
Jul 2017 · 945
Hannah Jul 2017
Your body gets used to the poison.
Jul 2017 · 345
Hannah Jul 2017
Summer skies,
and deep brown eyes,
tranquil waters
with white teal tides,
cloudy nights
beneath city lights,
life and death
tied between us tight,
obsidian moons
with lonely lost tunes,
there's no love
when I'm without you.
Jul 2017 · 747
Hannah Jul 2017
I'm fading away,
and all I leave behind me
isn't meant to stay.
Jul 2017 · 442
Hannah Jul 2017
I was born to this world
I hold so much love in my heart,
but seldom give it away.
I tuck it beneath my ribcage,
to keep the wolves at bay.

I wake each morning
to the promise of a coming day,
and hold my breath,
as the moon slowly fades away.

I am made of
whiskey & cigarettes,
mixed with
moonlight & moonshine.

I can light up the midnight sky,
or burn down the city lights.
Jul 2017 · 335
Hannah Jul 2017
I am dreaming
beneath lilac skies
of a world with you
where it's easy to find
love and light,
raining down
from the minds
of those like us,
blessed and kind.
Jul 2017 · 809
Hannah Jul 2017
Can we talk about
the white paneled walls
revealing the shadows
of demons and ghosts
roaming about in the halls?
Jul 2017 · 1.2k
Hannah Jul 2017
I must've had angels
betting the odds,
rolling the dice,
because I was born
to a world
that's colder than ice,
blessed with a heart
that refuses to fight.
I was given a light
to shine bright
through the night,
to guide those still lost,
far out of sight.
Jul 2017 · 382
Hannah Jul 2017
I rose to
the setting sun,
dove into
an indigo sea,
and let the ink
wash me clean*.
Jul 2017 · 582
Hannah Jul 2017
By the time I reached the end,
my mouth was tied in a twist.
Salt water and smoke
rose up from my throat
caged between porcelain,
and sugar sweet lips.
I lay awake,
swaying softly,
in a cacoon of strawberry silk.
Carefully contemplating
the white spaces of time
that kaleidoscope like fractals
between the shades
of falling leaves.
I am at peace,
fully aware of the world
around me.
I am happy,
dreaming of summer sunsets,
and kissing the cherry trees.
Jun 2017 · 282
Hannah Jun 2017
I walked for centuries
soulless and tired.

I stumbled across
a valley of poppies.

Their red paper petals
blowing lightly in the breeze.

They were so beautiful to me.

I sat to examine
them more closely,
before becoming drowsy,
and drifting to sleep.

I remember thinking,
"How lucky to be me!"

To be falling asleep
in a field of poppies,
enjoying the summer breeze.
how lucky.
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