Somewhere, amongst the debris
of cigarettes after ***,
chemicals to induce sleep,
I forgot what it means to love.

I forgot what it means to breathe,
to sit still, and just be.

Somewhere, beneath these hooded seams
of solitude and well-versed grief,
beats a heart less cynical,
less tamed by vague distraction.

My nervous ticks and bad habits,
line of best fit for a near-hit
of satisfaction:

This is not enough, I know.
This is not nearly enough
to cool the bray of life
that still rattles meaning in my bones.

I forgot what it means to love,
what separates a house from a home.

Somewhere beyond this thirst
for brand-new words
is a gratitude for all that has been.
Every cliché holds a truth.

Every sentiment, a cocoon,
that I should lie so still inside

until I am wholesome,
until I am new.

Walls are coming closer
How do I breathe
Does anyone see across the window glass
Why does none raise alarm

Someone is dying without a sound
Looking at his Facebook window
Scrolling through his phone's contact list
Finding no one

None cares

You can shout...
detest, abhor and loathe
everything we ever had.

I shall listen and caress,
like every violent tide is,
by the shore sand.

Because I understand
your turbulence, your calm,
your patience and alarm

Because at the end of the day,
the sea, the tide and me,
are meant to be...

Because I know,
not think, not believe, not hope,
I know
we are meant to be...

I loved you
Like a ring holds a finger
Like a desert yearns for water
Like a planet orbits a star,
far but near, far but near

I told you
With my eyes sensing your body
With my lips licking your soul
With my arms holding you up close,
bit more, bit more

You could have
When our lips met
When those fears began to melt
When I knew you loved me ******
You did not, you did not

Now you want me
but my heart has forgotten its beat
but my wounds have ceased to bleed
but my ego has killed your need
I love you, I love you...

...but I don't want you back

I can tell you
Who am I
Where do I come from
What I believe
What do I refrain from

I can tell you
My fear
My pain
How my skin rejoices
When it touches rain

I can tell you
how free am I
bound with you
How fast my heart beats
walking slowly with you

I can tell you
How I am going to wreck your mind with a stare
And rip your tender soul
beyond repair

But you won't let me
You won't ever believe me
You'll believe me to stitch all the broken pieces of you
You'll believe me to admire your skin and flatter your ego

I will,
Always.

But if you hide your scars
Your stupid ugly dance
Your fumbles and mistakes
Your moments of disgrace

I won't rip your soul
I'll leave you in your catacomb,
Safe and secure
Like a ship on the shore

The edge of the innocent knife
Too sharp to hide
Could you tickle my neck with it
And when my eyes close
Slit it