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 Sep 2018 GulRukh
Francesca
See me
 Sep 2018 GulRukh
Francesca
You don’t see me.
Or, rather you do,
But only what you want to see.
All the questions,
The smiling faces
What do you want me to say?
I smile,
I nod my head.
That’s what you want to see right?
‘Yes someday’
‘Not just yet, but someday’
Seems sufficient enough to make you go away
For now, anyway…

You don’t see me.
You only see what I want you to see.
***** me down,
Leave me standing *****
You couldn’t do that,
You wouldn’t do that.
Would you?
Would you?

You want me to bare my soul to you?
You’re not ready.
It’s not me, It’s you.
You’re not ready.
Realisation,
The realisation of your insensitivity.
Horrified,
That’s what you would be.
But don’t worry,
***** or fully clothed
I will smile, I will nod
Because you don’t need to see me.
I see me.
I can see the stars in the rain
Filled with pain
I'm slowly becoming one

You're putting me away
leaving me alone

You can't cover me up with clouds
I'll still shine in the daylight

You're turning away

I'm here to stay
 Aug 2018 GulRukh
Nizar Qabbani
Oh, my love
If you were at the level of my madness,
You would cast away your jewelry,
Sell all your bracelets,
And sleep in my eyes.
Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
      I am the captain of my soul.
 Aug 2018 GulRukh
RBWhite
Will I make you see?
Will you belong to me?
Rest in my embrace,
Feel my need for change,
And I'll be your only place...
Where you'll rest in sleep,
When you come to me,
I'll be whatever you need,
I'll be the fall, catching you from the depths of despair,It won't matter, for whatever it takes,
I'll be there,
I'll be the sadness,the kiss in your tears, mending every fear,
Is my promise to make,
I'll be there,
In the light and the dark,
The warrior of your love, creating truth with my sword,
And I swear, you'll be okay,
Because I'll be there.
Originally written to be a song...
 Aug 2018 GulRukh
Xyns
self.
 Aug 2018 GulRukh
Xyns
Everyday I fight the urge to burn myself
Because I know it works
I know it helps
 Jun 2018 GulRukh
Mahdiya Patel
Life’s been a little tormenting recently
She keeps chewing me into tiny morsels
Chewed meat getting stuck between sharp canines
Then she has this immoral habit of spitting me out , hard
Meat flying through air to splatter on the concrete
Combined with the dirt
Camouflaged in the brown  
Rupi told me my skin is the color flowers grow in she forgot to mention how cold it gets being unrecognized
She lied
Just like all he hims ,
They all have some demons
First he chooses metamphatomine , cuts his palms open and pours in orange juice , he yells to and throws very scary words at me , my therapist said I experience abuse
I don’t know if I believe her or if I’m in denial
Maybe I am I don’t feel the connections sparking
My nerves in my cerebrum feel like they’re missing a circuit or maybe  a current
    
The second him is electricity he fuels everything he is power , or that’s what I believe him to be, maybe he’s just a weak dark colored boy who was never taught how to love
Maybe his demon is himself
He self sabotages because he doesn’t realize that love can be kind , he only knows how to destroy
    
“Belief” its been hard
Connecting with the him that has no flaws the him that watches everything and hurls tests only to my capability
These tests are beginning to ***** me of my smile I don’t know what’s wrong
I promise I’m trying to dig
I just feel sad
I feel like water
I want to burst and flow and I want to shimmer on shards of mint green plants , I want them to praise me , I need to praise him
I want to cover my hair
But MY DEMONS are pulling at my follicles like threads of a old T-shirt making me believe it’s pain it’s not pain I know that
It’s beauty to be given the steps on how to be happy
Prayer ?
How can I be so ungrateful for all the blessings you have given me
How can I complain so much when people are being tested to work
Why can’t I talk to you?
What is wrong with me ??
I need to connect I need to talk
I need to make a friend of you
Please find me , I am drowning I am water , I am calling unto you .
Save me , I want to breath contentment I want to spread contentment , instead of disappearing with the fossils I want flowers to grow out of my eyes
 Jun 2018 GulRukh
Mahdiya Patel
Baby I think I have the power
Let us heal
Let us be whole
Let us talk our selves into existence by being great
By becoming undestroyed by what has been the greatest creation
You are magic and I will not alter my perception of you by making you less because of your choices
You are greater than what you do to other people
You are you and your vibrations are mighty
They are not on my wavelength and that is why they scar me
But the battle is not defeated it has been signed in a peaceful treaty where we split the treasure
The treasure being us completely
We can now reclaim ourselves by leaving this comfortable war
The safeness must end and we must face what we fear most
The raw us .
We must discover the cravesses of our flaws and embrace them how we embraced eachother
We are not monsters we are light
And I’m going to write about what you have unlocked within my brain
The system of my mind has been broken by your manifestos of who I am
I must take your mighty text and write my own manifestos of who I am and through this I will heal
By myself

I love you eternally
It started with beautiful words with the rebirth
Let it Rest In Peace with beautiful words too , because above all this safe haven was contentment

Goodbye my forever spirit
My always energy
I swear to always hover around you with light and to guide you on your journey with the love I have gifted you
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