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GulRukh Apr 2018
He is long gone
but I am here, right here where He left
at the same place where we first meet
where our love grew
where we look at each other from far corner
where He stole my number from record room
because He was too scared to talk to me
where we always walk pass each other like none of us exist
where I envy His intelligence
and He love my attitude
where He told me that He love me when the first time He lay His eyes on me
where I fight Him over little things
and He say sorry for my mistakes
where I wait for little glimpse of His presence
where He protect me from bad people
where I can rely on Him with my eyes close
where I woo perfection of His athletic body
and He make fun of my flimsy existence
where we make promises
where He leave me because people talk about us
because people will talk **** about me
because we have no future together
because we belong to different worlds
because our religions were different
but I am still standing there
waiting for Him
where we first fall for each other
Endless waiting for the Love of my life and I can wait forever
  Apr 2018 GulRukh
Once upon a time,
the world seemed like mine.
In a garden of black gold,
an unknown story yet to unfold.
A bud so newly born,
rose guarded by its thorns.
Freely basking in the Sun,
I became the chosen one.
To live another day,
better to be plucked away.
Spreading Roots fail to grow,
rot begins to take its blow.
Fungus slowly eats you through,
relentless efforts failed you.
All that was withers and fades,
taken by its shearing blades.
Lost forever to a fortune unseen,
a fate no one would ever dream.
Fibromyalgia ~ Feelings of being taken over... What was no-longer is... Nor will it ever be...
  Apr 2018 GulRukh
they say true love is unconditional.
so who's lying
them or you?
  Apr 2018 GulRukh
I love him after all this time
I want him to know the pain I went through
But I am sure his eyes will never read this
So it does not feel right saying "you"

We will never have a relationship again
He made that fact perfectly clear
I must go through this life alone
I have no one to hold near

I think it is better off this way
Iron cage built around my heart
Miles of highway between him and I
To ensure we stay apart
This is another oldie I just found. Sometimes what you want most is the thing you need the least.
GulRukh Apr 2018
When I look into your eye
They are deep like a lie
unpredictable you and I
like a cold day in July
let's spread our wings and fly,
let's be together forever or just let me die
I am a big bright star in the night sky
and you are the full moon of 22nd July
I am roaring wave waiting for you to dive
Standing in my window
Your presence make my feelings ignite
Maybe your love is the only reason why
I survive
then I ask for password of your Wi-Fi
you roll your eyes and deny
I shut the windows after saying goodbye
Short Lived Love
  Apr 2018 GulRukh
of one thing
i am sure
and that is
that i am
unsure of
and it’s funny
how i can’t
sleep but my
chest closes its
eyes and hums
with a heartbeat
that is unsure of
itself, too.
i try to morph
into a body
i don’t feel
belongs to me
just so i can
fit somewhere
fit in somewhere
and i tell so
many stories
about the
universe, it
forever feels
like i am trying
to remain lost.
i am unsure
of myself;
connecting the
moles on my
skin as if they
will spell out
something bigger
so i can feel
like i matter,
at least for
a little while.
i sleep beside
myself, stare at
a reflection
so unfamiliar
i couldn’t even
identify it in
a crowd of
strangers, but
i am trying.
and one day
i’m sure i’ll
be sure
of myself but
until then,
i’ll morph into
someone i can
be proud of
and hope that
the universe
sends me back
to myself.
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