In a different world,

A different mind a different body

Perhaps I'd be inclined to try and find the facts behind her fiction

But for now I'll buy in

Because this is too sweet to be reality and that's not what I need

I need a sign from up high before I'll jot my name on the dotted line

I don't need to know every little detail that lies behind her eyes

So tonight I'll take it slow I'll take it steady

We can share a drink and a long and contemplative passing of eyes, sharing of the deep thoughts inside our minds

If we find what we see to be of the proper tone, the proper texture

Perhaps into the wild blue yonder I'll venture...

I'll tell her what goes on inside the deep recesses of my mind

And in those dark spots she may decide my conclusions are nothing but pure conjecture

If she can find some inner part of her that longs for adventure than maybe I'll tell her

I think she's beautiful and she makes me weak in places I wish I was strong to begin with

But she makes me think that maybe I can flip this, fix this.

Put that part of me back together again

Just enough to pass close inspection

I'm this strange mix of a anti social quiet type of romantic who can't seem to find the courage he deserves

So I'll stick my chin up and tell her "Nothing" and something like, "Everything's fine"

Because a mind is a terrible thing to lose and I can't seem to find mine when I look into her eyes

She's got every color of the rainbow and at least fifty shades more

I'm torn

I know that I'm not the best for her, and she deserves that

I know that in my head but my heart can't seem to conserve that, steady flutter it means to burst out of my chest and fly

and I can't for the life of me figure out why

In a different time

I could just bring you flower and announce that you could be mine

And that would fine

But now days we have to dance around the issue because that's the socially correct thing to do

I can't help but feel cheated

I'm an old soul inside a young mind

I feel this way about eighty-five percent of the time

On a different day

In a different way

perhaps I'd say something that could make you stay

But your future awaits

So I'll surrender the very idea of us to the fates

And hope that one day

Things will be different

It breaks sometimes, but never bends
It's hard, but brittle
It's cold, but never so cold that it stops flowing
It's foggy, leaving me just enough to see only a few feet in front of me
I'm lonely, surrounded by people who toss me these
One way street relationships, always about me
It's not very pretty
Me at least
In the physical sense... Well okay maybe that too
When I look in the mirror, I see pill bottles and scars on my wrists
Instead of the gifts god gifted me with
I can't breathe
Staring at the walls in front of me
It's not as simple as walking until I find a door
What if there isn't one there?
What if the wall is too tall to scale with ropes or ladders
I can't fly
What if the stars do fall
What if your calls just haven't been coming through
Yeah, that must be it
I heard Verizon's service here is
It breaks
This house
It takes what's left of my confidence and snakes it down the tarnished copper plumbing
I can't think
Why is everybody yelling?
Really, why is everybody yelling?
What's the purpose?
Do you think demons are scared of loud noises?
Do you think they shake when your sanity is at stake? well they don't
So my strategy is don't let anything close
But it's hard, when you look at me your smile
Sweet to me like the fruit of the apple tree I planted when I was three
But it's hard to see the sense in these accusations you sling around
Some higher power must be ******* with you
No that's the human element
That's free will
That boy you call a man
I'm not saying this result was part of his plan, but rather a unexpected consequence
People do horrible things
Everybody
So I'll shut the gate to my heart, put it under lock and key
And throw it so far away from me
That nobody will ever find it
You'll have to carve out the lock with an ice pick
I'm really like this
So call me hopeless, that's fine
But you're wrong
I have hope
It's just not instilled in you
Or you
Or any one of you
I'm alone
That's fine
I have no interest in this
This idea that I need to find my better half
If I'm incomplete I'll build myself, myself
I don't need your expertise
It's my life, and I'll complete me as I please.

If anxiety could hear me
I'm not sure what I would say
What words could I even find looking into her eyes?
It's the little flecks of gold in her deep blue that leave me breathless
Like I can't find help in an ocean full of outstretched hands
****
If she could hear me, would I shout?
Would I scream just to redeem my previous shameful silence
How dare you take the air from my lungs like it was your song to be sung
I wrote the notes with my own two hands
Like a dying soldiers last stand this is my peak
And you have no right to take that away from me
So this time my rib cage is reinforced with I-beams
Steel
So what if you're not real
I feel it

More moisture helps
the ******* of dirt
become a purification element.
The hydro-logic behind that
is completely fluid
and misunderstood.

Water is much like a brain—
it makes these connections
between polarizing elements
that will take eons
to arrive at a universal understanding
of how or why they were made.

As poets we work with the earth
to try and make sense of things—
like why exactly the purest form
of water is shed from the soil
that springs with infinite life.

The single most important aspect
of connections that contribute
to the everlasting growth of meaning
is that it's right beneath our feet,
which is probably why we
continually walk right over it.

What springs from the soils surface
is a constant cycle
of unearthing meaning.
Which is why there will never be
a shortage in the supply
of what provides us with life.

My sun
Light of my day
Star of my world
So far yet near
You bring me joy
You warm my soul

My sol
My morning call
My prayer to you
My salutation
My bija mantra
Surya Namaskar

Namaskar
Ardha Chandrasana
Padangusthasana
Surya darshan
Purvottanasana
Adho Mukha Svanasana
Shashtanga Dandawat
Bhujangasana
Adho Mukha Svanasana
Surya darshan
Padangusthasana
Ardha Chandrasana
Namaskar

r ~ 9/15/14

For my good friend Pradip's call for a sun poem.

(Poem by Pradip Url : http://hellopoetry.com/poem/856652/write-me-one/)