A boy of eight sat quietly behind a closed door.  
He lost himself in his made up places.
Staying put in reality had become quite a chore.  
Sweat streamed down his face as his mind raced.

The fighting had escalated past screams and yells.
Bloodied lips and bruised faces were now the norm.  
He's tried to concoct incantations and spells.  
To construct a shelter against the growing storm.  

One day he learned that she was leaving for another.  
His entire world would be flipped upside down.  
He knew every little boy needed a loving mother.  
He was ravaged with pain as he wore his thorny crown.  

His father made ends meet as a single dad.  
But the bottle soon became his only friend.  
He watched from a distance but was quite sad.  
Not even his hug made his dad’s sorrow end.

The boy began his tumultuous teenage years.  
The father remarried but it was shallow tonic.  
The boy found his relief in a shower of beer.  
The father stood in the shadows, isn't that ironic?

The boy became a man but kept the pain within. Morals and ethics were lost in a strangled haze.  
He decided to move to the city of lights and sin.
There he met someone and was completed amazed.

His name was Mark and the streets was where he dwelled.
He talked of freedom and the power of belief.    
He spoke softly but the exuberance he expelled.  
Changed his life like the color of an Autumn leaf.

He found his purpose thanks to a vagrant man.  
He left that city and vowed never to return.  
As he travelled back his eyes began to scan.  
Somewhere in Utah his soul started to yearn

He pulled off the road and saw a visual scene.  
There were canyons of color and a voiceless song.  
Infinity sat before him as God intervened
He finally found a place where he belonged

He stayed in the landscape for about a week.  
He made promises to the night that he swore he'd keep.  
As he drove away a tear streamed down his cheek.  
It was time to get back to the world of sheep.

He went back home and settled into his old routine. The beers flowed and the good times ensued.  
He had already forgotten what had kept him clean.  
His plan to leave again was a vision that was skewed.  

He got behind the wheel of his beat up car.  
The city of sin awaited with her unfurled legs.
Fortunately for him he didn't get very far.  
The oil spilled from the engine like a broken keg.

Little did he know that fate had stepped in.  
He took a job he planned only on keeping for a while.  
One night he heard the door open and lifted his chin.  
There walked in an angel with a school girl’s smile.

I’m guessing you already know the rest of the plot
He knew he loved her long before they ever met.  
She knew his soul was everything she sought.
To this day he’s forever in a homeless man's debt.

I'm on the verge of insanity.
I'm about to cross over the center line.
Please stop stroking my vanity.
My hopeful eyes have lost their shine.
Place that jacket around my eggshell.
Lead me back to a mournful room.
A fissure runs down the side of my bell.
Give me meds that will make me bloom.
Give me a reason to open my eyes.
I would love to dance at dusk.
Turn my soul the color of sunrise.
Make me more than a hollow husk.
If my weekend stay doesn't ease my troubles.
If my reason of thought doesn't return.
Somehow I'll try to rise from the rubble.
If not give this body back to the worms.
Because my spirit is quite perceptive.
It's only this body that drives it mad.
I'm sure my being is more than receptive.
To lose this shell that is numbingly bad.

A terrible sunrise stains my face;
bloodied cheeks and a bruised chin.
My heart doesn't belong to this place;
lost in a maze of pain deep within.

A rusty sigh escapes my scarred lips;
still trembling from a night of terror.
Why must I always follow the same script;
every decision I make is a fatal error.

Slowly I try to climb out of my bed;
but the glue of fear holds me fast.
Just hurry and bury me, I'm already dead;
my chest moves but my spirit has passed.

Please lift me up to a celestial sphere;
where the welcoming Spring wind swirls
At a cool spring drinks an innocent deer;
This newborn child dances and whirls.

Butter

Alone with strangers in a cold dark place.
No sense of emotion, not even a trace.
The doors remain shut and the light stays off.
Beneath my hard exterior I grumble and scoff.

Who needs the warmth that the sun provides.
I do just fine or so my mind decides.
Suddenly the doors open and a hand reaches out.
I feel oily fingers and I stifle a shout.

A feeling of vertigo washes over my tub.
I begin to fly like a cheerful cherub.
There's a wrenching feeling as my lid is removed.
I'm stabbed through the heart, my body is grooved.

The feeling of pain only lasts a short time.
Then a feeling overtakes me that is quite sublime.
I feel myself softening in the daytime heat.
For the first time ever my heart begins to beat

I'm alive I shout and my soul begins to love.
The emotions fit me perfectly just like a glove.
Is this what I've been missing my entire life?
Maybe I'll ask Mrs. Butterworth to be my wife.

With a start I begin to move towards the box.
If I had hands I would struggle and throw rocks.
No I wordlessly scream as I head into the light.
I can feel the cold air and my soul turns white.

Some time passes by and the hardening begins.
I really prefer to be alone here in the bin.
I'll stay here with the darkness as my friend.
Better than to fall in love and lose it all in the end.

Here’s a little bit of a warning
When I write it’s rarely boring
My words bite, darkness forming
Internal fight, thoughts pouring
Onto the page
I’m like a caged beast
To say the least
Filled with white hot rage.
I need a priest
To purge with holy water
All these urges to slaughter
Those who doubt but never bother
To wave or even say hello
When a bout of depression
Makes me relive my transgressions
It was a grave situation
So here’s my confession
I grabbed a bottle of pills
To cure all my ills
But I woke up, I wasn’t dead
Instead I served a 3 day tour
Thank God it was all blur
All I remember was the lime jello.

I’m past the point of no return
My stomach churns
The die has been cast
My heart hurts, in fact it burns
All the lies made in the dark
We made a pact that this would last
But those weren’t facts
I just lacked the self control
To sever what should have been a night of bliss
But your twisted kiss
And your devilish sarcasm
As I reveled in *******
My brain faltered
10 months later I was at the altar
Now I’m old and balder
With 4 nearly grown daughters
I was told to own my mistakes
When I was younger
Come hell or high water
A church bell rings as I rake this leaf strewn sod
I take a break to pray to God
And search for a ray of hope
Maybe a birch where I can tie my rope
And swing one last time and finally be free
No regrets, only relief
As the noose stifles my screams
There’s time for one last dream
Before darkness envelopes me

I’ve never been the best father
Too depressed to bother
Scarred by a selfish mother
Who ran away with her lover
I’ve repressed and smothered
Marred emotions under my vest
I’ve regressed
Heart beat has been altered
That ******* shrink doctor
Thinks it’s my brain and not my chest
Pushing pills I can’t digest
To a therapist I confessed
A quest to slit my wrists
My sheets a ****** mess
Blessed smile not distressed
Body turns an ashen color
For the best little daughters