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Aurelia Apr 2019
Working emotionless
With a void inside that day,
No feelings no regrets
Or maybe I just didn't say.
Why was I feeling that.
Anxiousness.
Mind asking questions
And framing 59 possible answers.
Listening to people
But I didn't know where my thoughts were.
Heart racing for no reason
Sat there clenching my shirt
Shivering hands and I felt as if
Life is flowing out of me
It's going
It's 23:59 and soon will be 24
And then everything will be over...

Tell me how much time do I have
So that I can live now
Aurelia Jun 2020
There is a battle going on inside my head,
Where I fight with myself.
But, surprisingly the weaker me wins everytime.
Aurelia Sep 2017
Those ruffling sheets
Those unheard screams
Haunting my memories
Haunting my dreams.

Yes..helpless I was
A little doll in someone's hands
He played with me all the time
Tied me with ropes and bands.

For years and years
I kept my mouth shut
No one should know
Shh shh no matter what.

Years passed
And then I broke free
Revealed to someone
The secret of me.

I had someone
By my side
Oh I could stand stroms
And I never cried.

Then he came again
The game once more begun
But the one I'd take a bullet for
Was standing behind the gun.

So now I stand here
And get shot everyday
A liquid oozes from me
But it's grey.
Why couldn't you be on my side mom?
Aurelia Aug 2017
It was black
And everything seemed uncertain.
That fear of losing everything.
That feeling of not being good enough
When they said
YOU CAN'T.

Black it was
Wherever I looked.
So I embraced it
And let it devour me...
Aurelia Aug 2017
Bears everything,
Never utters a word.
Smiling always,
But inside she is hurt.
We all wear masks to hide our feelings, our emotions, our condition. We wear those masks so that people don't know what's inside us. What we really are. What we really feel...but there's always someone who looks in our eyes and reads us like an open book.
Aurelia Nov 2017
Don't talk to yourself
When the time's not right
When there is no light
When you can no longer fight
Don't talk to yourself.

Don't talk to yourself
When you're in pain
And there's no gain
'Cause it's vain
Don't talk to yourself.

Don't talk to yourself
While cleaning your desk
Don't talk to yourself
Don't make it a burlesque

Hey, I know reader,
You must be feeling hazy
Don't talk to yourself just don't talk to yourself
'Cause they might think you're crazy...
And yes..they think I am crazy :)
Aurelia Aug 2017
Worries, expectations, failures,
Stress, tension, those haviors,
Dark nights, shining chandeliers,

Pain, guilt, and remorse,
Digging roots of its source,
The presence of a concourse,

The horror of that pain,
Legs bound in a chain,
Those memories haunting again,

Wicked people of the world,
Curled and uncurled,
How their words swirled,

Is what doesn't let me rest,
Everything that I detest,
Stings again on my chest.
~AURELIA
Aurelia Aug 2017
Roaming on the streets
It's peaceful
No noises around
Only that deep familiar silence of the night
Who is there? I see some moving shadows
Someone is there behind that big wall.

I see some people playing a GAME.
No one would call it a game openly,
but for them it is.

Have you ever lost in a game?
Being the one on the losing side never feels good
But in this game if you lose, you lose yourself
You lose a part of you.

Oh! they have seen me
They are coming for me
I can see their inviting eyes
Asking me to play with them
They want to play with me next, having won the previous game.

Should I run away?
What should I do?
Oh he held me, one of 'em
He is dragging me now
My heart is pounding
He whispered LET'S PLAY

I am cursing myself for coming here
It's all my fault.
Is it my fault?

NO.

So I will play the game.
But my game, not theirs
And this time I will win.
Aurelia Sep 2017
Silence everywhere
Howling wind could be heard
I was walking amidst the crowd
Where the accident occurred.

Tearing away the crowd
I walked to the middle
A girl was lying there
Her identity was a riddle.

I walked towards her
To find out who was she
My heart skipped a beat
'Cause she looked like me.

I touched her face
Or maybe I touched mine
Oh! the horror
A shiver ran down my spine.

Everyone looked at her
No one noticed me
'Cause I was no more
All that was left was she.
Nightmare I'm having these days...
Aurelia Aug 2017
Looking for it I ran,
Here and there to find,
The lost one, that only could
Make my mind go blind.

In empty bottles I searched,
To find nothing but air,
My heart was lost somewhere,
And the world didn't care.

Tired, sad and broken apart,
I finally found that place,
Where I was sure to find,
My heart in any case.

Reached there and found a jar,
And gladly I was running about
Happily, I opened it,
And only RED liquid came out...
Aurelia Sep 2019
Tonight I'd smile,
'Cause it was a good day. It gave me some hope.
Tonight I'd cry,
'Cause I fear I was not supposed to smile. They won't like it.
Tonight I'd dance,
'Cause due to fear my heart is beating fast, sounding like an old drum.
Tonight I'd dream
'Cause that world is the only relief.
Tonight I'd live
'Cause there is a little time left as....

Tonight I'd die
'Cause there's no reason to live.
Aurelia Jun 2020
I talked
I smiled
I laughed
I blushed
I spoke
I cared
I dreamt
I confided
I feared
I dreaded
I cried
I lied
I cried again
I lied again
I broke my own heart.

— The End —