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green therapy Oct 2015
crumbling, darkness,
looking into the night,
i wish things could be
out of mind
when they're out of sight.
sitting, waiting,
patience runs thin.
hiding, running,
never getting an answer from him.
falling, dying,
so confused, what does he want?
heart is crying,
looming questions taunt.
crashing, decaying,
a love that was real.
never know what hes saying,
never know how to feel.
green therapy Mar 2016
11 o'clock
i was about to go to bed
then you sent a message
******* with my head
not sure what you meant
by the things  you said
so now instead of sleeping
i try decifering you instead
green therapy Oct 2015
12 days, i should be happy
288 hours, we still can be
17280 minutes to fix this
1036800 seconds to not miss this
green therapy Oct 2015
6 months since if touched you
16 days until i hold you again
384 hours until i taste your lips again
23040 minutes until i hear your voice again
1382400 seconds until these 6 months feels worth it
2am
green therapy Mar 2016
2am
i need to sleep tonight
i just cant seem to
i need to turn my brain off
and stop thinking of you
its already 2am
wide awake
pondering over
both of our mistakes
its hard to say whose are worse
my quick stabs
or your constant hurt
i know ill think of you all day tomorrow
so can i just stop for the night
broken hearts and broken promises
dont fade like shadows
in the absence of light
green therapy Sep 2015
colors vibrantly moving
across the aged rugged walls
glorious template of the rainbow
dripping to the core of two ****** souls
watching all the magnificent shades
slowly soaking the brick
splashing off our bodies
as our skin collides
what a vividness of visual apperance
bright reds, greens, orange
the smell of sacchariferous
impassioned multicolored hydrangeas
sound of hearts
beating ontop of eachother
like a thunder rolling
in the open vacant feilds
colors flying everywhere now
different shades
swiftly streaming through the air
tasting the luscious hues
on the tip of my tongue
like a forbidden fruit
parading along every inch of your skin
a cosmic explosion of the rainbow
as it rains down tremendous
blues greens and purples
until it all settles to the floor
seaping into the ground
to be washed away with the rain
but the memory for the two lovers
would always remain.
green therapy Dec 2016
Santa sees a young woman crying
He said "whats your Christmas wish?"
She looked back up with tears in her eyes,
"There's only one thing on my list."
Old Saint Nick grew curious.
He said "What can i do?"
She replied "All i want this holiday,
is to have back my love so true."
This tickled Santas' heart
as Christmas came so near.
He said "Most kids want trains and games."
She said "I just want him this year."
Jolly old Saint Nick asked
"Not a plane or a house or a bike?"
She cried "No! All i want is him,
Today and the rest of my life."
Santa Claus got a tear in his eye,
"Wouldn't you just like a toy?"
She whimpered through the tears exclaiming
"There's no point without that boy."
Now Old Saint Nick didn't know what to do.
He started rummaging through his sack.
He pulled out a twinkling star
He said "Just wish on that,
and if it was ever really true love,
he will find his way and come back."
So now that's what she does late at night.
She wishes every day.
Before she drifts off to sleep, she says
"Ik houd van je mijn leifje."
green therapy Nov 2015
all the things
that we've been through
i still dont know if
you want me like i want you
all the things
i've tried to say
i still dont know if
you want me the same way
all the things
i feel in my heart
i still dont know if
your okay with being apart
all of the things
you say, i hear
yet i still dont know
what it is you fear
all the things
you make me feel
and i still dont know if
what you say is real
all the things i try to do
i still dont know if
you want me like i want you
green therapy Oct 2015
you were supposed to hold me
i should have known youd leave me
alone and lonely
time ticks by, i watch our story
i should have known youd leave me
alone and lonely
i think back to all youve told me
i should have know you'd leave me
alone and lonely
you were supposed to be there to console me
instead u leave me
alone and lonely
green therapy Sep 2015
Through all **** we've been through,
Through everything we've done.
I will always be there for you,
I will always be your number one.
I'll never leave your side,
You'll always be in my heart.
I'll try to never hurt you,my love,
I know we'll never part.
I look at you my baby,
I still can't believe you’re mine.
I think about you endlessly,
I think about you all the time.
I trust in you completely,
And I want you to remember,
I love you so sweetly,
Always...and forever.
green therapy Oct 2015
our starving love
lasted a year
the struggles of life
have brought us here
whyd you have to go
and wreck it all
now theres noone
to catch me when i fall

i told you it would be a challenge
but what a road we climbed
i told you that i loved you
now that rivers run dry
and now my heart is breaking
my brains working double time
now all my love is wasted
writing these tragic rhymes

i can still hear you
whispering my name
remember what it was like
before all the pain
but then you changed your mind
and it cut like a knife
now i constantly struggle
just to make it through life

i told you it would be a challenge
but what a road we climbed
i told you that i loved you
now that rivers run dry
and now my heart is breaking
my brains working double time
now all my love is wasted
writing these tragic rhymes

i truly loved you
for a moment we could fly
but you clipped my wings
leaving me far behind
i never meant to pressure you
just wanted to know how you feel
now ive pushed you away
losing something so real

i told you it would be a challenge
but what a road we climbed
i told you that i loved you
now that rivers run dry
and now my heart is breaking
my brains working double time
now all my love is wasted
writing these tragic rhymes
green therapy Oct 2015
im too sensitive of a person
i love too much
i crash too hard
i believe in people
to a fault
when i love you
you get every ounce of me
until u throw it away
and leave me in shreds
on the floor
ripping apart
every piece of me
that made me
care about life.
One day ill get put
back together
but like torn paper
ill never be the same with tape
and i will have lost a shred
i miss you.
A piece of me is missing.
not having you
i will never be whole
just a crumpled
hole filled
page of lifes notebook.
green therapy Oct 2015
nervous, jittery, excitable, flustered, trembling,
happy, content, jubilant, advantageous, welcoming,
in love, impassioned, enamored, fond, intoxicating,
defensive, opposing, resistive, guarded, interrupting,
upset, degrade, resentful, frustrating, controverting,
heartbroken, sorrowful, dismal, despairing, languishing,
alone, deserted, unattatched, forsaken, breaking.
green therapy Dec 2015
trying to reason with you
is like trying to blow up a balloon
with a giant hole in it
and no ******* duct tape.
green therapy Oct 2015
we should be able to have a mature conversation
about what your feeling
thats the only way
there can be any true healing
i shouldnt have to drag it out of you
bit by bit
love shouldnt ever be like this
using a mixture of bribes that ill disappear
threats that tomorrow i wont be here
begging you to let me know what ur thinking
the more you avoid the more im sinking
tell me whats going through your mind
im so sick of feeling blind
green therapy Nov 2016
i have no words for what im feeling
unbearable sadness
soul crippling hurt
complete madness
trying to remember to breath
through my grieving
trying to convince myself
to believe what im reading
we made it this long
we can make it longer
what can i do
to make you stronger
in time i will fix it
ill make it better
i will find a way
to bring us back to forever
green therapy Mar 2016
my first memory
i was 2 years old
i remember my moms screams
as she was thrown
he should have known better
he was a man full grown
that was my first hint
its safer to be alone

then i was 5 years old
my mother liked to drink
and it took its hold
before any of us could blink
it couldnt be controlled
scars written in ink
another story told

then i was 8 years old
that past few years were rough
mother had gone cold
i covered her wrists in the bed
hoping the paramedics got there
before she was dead
it was as if
time had froze

then i was 10 years old
sick of the beatings
i had to leave that household
got on a plane
flew to see my dad
hoping this time
it wouldnt be so bad

then i was 13 years old
dads always working
trying to pay for our home
i was staying out late
streets free to roam
experimenting with life
innocence gone

then i was 15 years old
nothing is bulletproof
fighting all the time
nolonger under daddys roof
house hopping from here to there
i knew everything
no worries, not a care

then i was 18 years old
got back in school
i knew first hand
life could be cruel
got custody of the boyfriends kids
didnt want to make the same mistakes
my parents did

then i was 23 years old
i took vows
my future was told
next two years
had two babies of my own
cherish every moment
i get to watch them grow

then i was 26 years old
i fell in love with you
we broke the mold
had to leave him
because it just wasnt fair
i wasnt supposed to fall
i wasnt supposed to care

soon ill be 30 years old
i hope youre still there
right by my side
i hope one day
you'll make me your bride
i hope my feelings
i'll never have to hide
a bond so strong
nothing can divide

one day, we'll be 60 years old
by then the girls are grown
and they'll have babys of their own
its scary when a future
is so unknown
will you be there with me
or will i be alone
rock by rock
we can builld our home
build our story
like a wall of cobblestone
green therapy Apr 2016
i knew i loved you
when home went from a place
to a person
and as time goes on
my homesickness
it worsens
i find your stubbornness
saddening
a blurred reversion
you should want it
embrace it
without needing coercion
you should be okay
with me
lifting the burden
it shouldnt matter
why or how
as long as youre with that person
green therapy May 2017
im sick of feeling hollow
waiting for you to try
sick of being the puppet in your show
and never knowing why
waiting for the afterglow
hear my war cry
this is my final attempt at hello
before my goodbye.
green therapy Oct 2015
the hour was late
and the moment was right
i fell in love
as you played your guitar tonight
the words of the song
never rang so real
as i hummed along
to i wish you were here
green therapy Feb 2018
for a second i thought you loved me
before it all came crashing down
when the inner screams built up an explosion
that didnt make a sound
for a second i thought u loved me
then it all became so clear
i was just a game, amusement
something to cling to year after year
for a second i thought u loved me
quickly replaced with doubt
i finally see it for what it was
now i have to see my way out.
for a second i thought you loved me
battered, beaten and scarred
i loved you more than you ever knew
making this end unbearably hard
green therapy Mar 2016
a year ago today
we kissed for the first time
forever changing my heart
forever engrained in my mind
forever ensuring
around your fingers i'm entwined
you made me want to leave
everything else behind
as each day past
the more we aligned
the more time that passes
the more we are defined
even though at times
we were harsh or unkind
i know ill never give up on you
you took too long to find
green therapy Nov 2016
pray for love
sway for love
stay for love
find another way for love
shout for love
work it out for love
pout for love
forget all doubt for love
forget what you see for love
climb the highest tree for love
agree for love
just be for love
give time for love
i'm for love
climb for love
be strong in the meantime for love
race for love
chase for love
embrace for love
let things fall into place for love
stand for love
hold my hand for love
make plans for love
put on that wedding band for love
green therapy Dec 2016
i knew i loved you
from the start
now im dying
from a broken heart
a bottle of pills
seems a good place to start
maybe they will stop
my aching heart
ive always been so strong
now im falling apart
i see how people die
from a broken heart
another shot of whiskey
and screams in the dark
everything crashes
except this pain in my heart
cant see through my tears
the fading starts
everything goes cold
except the love for you
in broken my heart
its the only way to end it
cant go on without you
cant stand to be apart
so ill say goodbye to this world
say goodbye to my broken heart
green therapy Sep 2015
ive been pondering alot lately
should i stay or should i go
i realized if i dont stay
if i choose to go, ill never know

then i started weighing out
all the pros and cons
all the possibilities
the turn offs, the turn ons

starting with the offs
theres the lack of trust
the thought that i would act
not of my heart, but of lust

the constant jealousy
not being confident enough to know
that you are all i want
no matter how much i try to show

then theres the issue of the site
problem solved, im done
because after all is said and done
im losing more than i have won

then theres your outbursts
the aweful things youd say
and your inability to apologize
for the horrible lines youd spew my way

then theres the distance
you here, me there pic one
when the time was right
that could easily be done

now to the pros
the things that make me smile
the things that light up my days
make me feel like a child

the look you  get in your eyes
when your holding back what you want to say
the way we love so much
niether one of us can help but stay

i love your smile
and the way u bite that lip
and i remember what it felt like
when you grabbed my hips

i love how you make me feel safe
even from over there
i love how ur constantly on my mind
showing the extent of how much i care

i love your style
and the feel of your touch
most of all i love the way
i love you so much

i love how weve been there for eachother
when one would need it the most
and we triumphed through it all
although we never got to coast

i love how we are different
opposites attract
more than attraction we have chemistry
thats why we always come back

i love how noone has ever
made me feel this way
how one message from you
can change my whole day

i love how youve broken down my walls
brick by cracking brick
a feeling so euphoric
butterflies making me sick

i love how when you held me
i knew it was real
i knew that was the way
true love was supposed to feel

i love that im comfortable with you
that we can sit for hours and talk
and the way it felt to be holding your hand
clutching you close on our walk

i love that youre not scared
of wild crazy pigs :p
and i tingle when i reminisce
on the ***** things we did

i love the way you call me beautiful
the twinkle in your eye makes me believe its true
and i cant even put into words
what i feel when i look at you

i love how we dont have to say anything
we can sit there and contently be
just a longing stare
saying i love you and you love me

i love how youre not ready to give up either
thats why you suggested we stay friends
that gives me great hope
that maybe this isnt the end
green therapy Jul 2018
i didnt see it
before it was too late
the real you
the heartbreak
i sleep beside myself
watching each toss and turn
heartbreaks, heartaches
but your kisses i still yearn
The clouds rolled in
Thick tonight
Cried away
The last shred of light
Gripping, clawing
I cant anymore
My lifeless body
Lies numb on the floor
You dont see
What you do to me
How you squander
What we could be
I try and try
Never good enough
What once was forever
Seems a bust
I wanted you
And only you
I wanted you to want me
But you were to stubborn
To see and let it be.
green therapy Nov 2015
he doesnt see
what it does to me
he doesn't see my face
he doesn't realize
when he takes his space
he loses time he cant replace.
he doesn't see
how its torture
he doesn't see i'm sad
he doesn't see
that i become less sure
every time hes uselessly mad.
green therapy Apr 2018
one day theyll play it in a song
how he was never ever wrong
he was always there
and always cared
and helped that girl when she was scared
one day theyll say
he was always true
and did everything she needed him to
that he made her smile
helped her get through
but ofcourse we couldnt be talking about you
one day theyll play it in a song
the boy who was never ever wrong.
green therapy Jan 2016
there's a girl
in her room
crying out
to the moon
and all she knows
is only he knows
when

if the doubt
will ever subside
tears drain down
from her green eyes
will their love
ever be whole again

you hide
inside
hide inside
your own world
i'll hide
inside
i'll hide inside
this bottle

fill this void
that's left
because you left  
i'm so **** hollow
ive cried
ive died
i wallow

you hide
inside
hide inside
your own world
i'll hide
inside
this bottle

we've spied
we've lied
now you're running out of fear
time ticks by
what are we doing here

there's a voice
in her head
screaming words
she never said
will he ever
know just how she feels
instead
it's deep inside
she'll never let him
see her cry
even though
she knows
the pain is real

you hide
inside
hide inside
your own world
i'll hide
inside
i'll hide inside
this bottle

there's a girl
in her room
crying out
to the moon
and all she knows
is only he knows
when

you hide
inside
hide inside
your own world
i'll hide
inside
this bottle

i'll hide
inside
this bottle
`
green therapy Nov 2015
maybe if he saw
the way she cried
he'd know how
she really felt inside
he never answered
a piece of her died
he told her he loved her
maybe he lied
or maybe he didnt
know what love was
cuz you dont do this
to someone you love
green therapy Oct 2015
ignore me again
because that solves the issue
play pretend
all that makes me do is hate you
thirteen days
what a ******* joke
did you even want me to come
or have you misspoke
saying i ignore you
when its so plain to see
i should have really ignored you
so you know what its like to be me.
green therapy Sep 2015
i wish it was you
keeping me company tonight
but you got scared
so i guess i will write
youre not the only one
this is all new to me
but i cant help but think
if this could ever be
something about you is different
my hearts on my sleeve tonight
but you got scared
so i guess ill write
i cant get you
off of my brain
you drive me crazy
on the brink of insane
i wish it was you
keeping me company tonight
but you got scared
so i guess ill write
green therapy Oct 2015
the more time that ticks by
i realize you dont love me
enough to try
you said you did
but we both know its not true
it was always more
me loving you
green therapy Apr 2016
i miss
the warmth of your body
when the air was crisp
i miss
the spark of electricity
when i kissed your lips
i miss
the grasp of your hand
when we went for walks
i miss lingering on your words
when we had late night talks
i miss
the comfort when we slept
and i backed you into the wall
i miss
the sense of security
when ur hugs made me feel so tall
i miss
you
in the flesh
i miss
us
and the way our bodies perfectly mesh
long distance love
green therapy Jan 2016
if you would just talk
i wouldn't just write
you'd know first hand
what i'm thinking tonight
instead
back into hiding you go
so many knew questions
with answers unknown
and motives you'll never show
like a volcano about to blow
and even still my feelings grow
because
i remember staying up all night
talking with you till the sky was light
and im sitting here hoping you just might
still feel that love in your heart tonight
its not too late to make this right
we can still sore to an all new height
all you have to do is talk to me
but instead i write
green therapy Jun 2017
"i don't know what else to tell you" he said
now those words are ringing in her head
memories flashing in her face
feelings that she cant replace
she turned away as she began to cry
inside she was screaming
i want you to try
i want you to tell me not to go
i want you to love me
and i want everyone else to know
i want to be what makes you smile
i know things have been looking blue for awhile
but i want you to know ill fix every crack
we can be happy
theres no turning back
ill heal every ache inside
i want to hear you say it
baby i'll try.
she let him leave
was this really the end
she told him she wouldn't let him do this again
she could never just be his friend
she had it all typed in
she just couldnt hit send
she watched him leave
shes screaming inside
she should have told him
i want you to try
i want you to tell me not to go
i want you to love me
and i want everyone else to know
i want to be what makes you smile
i know things have been looking blue for awhile
but i want you to know ill fix every crack
we can be happy
theres no turning back
ill heal every ache inside
i want to hear you say it
baby i'll try.
green therapy Oct 2015
i wonder if you read my poems
and know that theyre for you
i wonder if you read them
and see what i want you to
i wonder if you read my poems
and they keep you up at night
i wonder if you read them
and you see im a bird in flight
i wonder if you read my poems
and they inspire something new
i wonder if you read them
these words so hard to chew
i wonder if you read my poems
and they make you think
i wonder if you read them
and feel im about to sink
i wonder if you read my poems
and you see things arent as they seem
i wonder if you read my poems
and they make you want to dream.
green therapy Jan 2016
getting to old to fight
always trying to do whats right
in the dark looking for light
struggling with all my might

maybe one day ill find it
so much light, ill be blinded
when we met, you never minded
to my gears, always grinded

now judging everything i do
am i nolonger good enough for you
well babe take a different view
see that my life is shakey,my morals still true

even though my actions may be deplorable
the things i do arent that horrible
atleast you can say my lifes not borable
and im still that girl you thought was adorable
green therapy Jan 2017
sitting on the porch tonight
drinking in the pale moonlight
wishing i could stop the fight
hoping one day we might
fix this
i miss this
babe
i miss us
i wish you were here kissing me
instead its just me and my whiskey

sitting on the porch tonight
drinking till night turns to light
contemplating wrong and right
hoping one day we might
fix this
i miss this
babe
i miss us
i wish you were here kissing me
instead its just me and my whiskey
green therapy Nov 2015
burns like a flame
in her brain
driving her insane
a love she cant tame
quivers every time she hears his name
straight for his heart shell aim
all the things they overcame
he said hed ask her to take his name
but she wonders if he really wants her the same
or if shes playing a losing game
green therapy Jul 2016
smoke ciggerettes
think of regrets
dwelling on
mistakes and better bets

dont tell a girl you love her
unless you mean it with all your heart
because when she finds out youre lying
youre gonna rip that girl apart

ive grown so cold
my body goes numb
then i think of the things youve done
and suddenly my skin burns hot like the sun

the things you say
cant be taken back
beating my soul
shades of blue and black

yet i run to your arms
everytime
the heart just isnt
as strong as the mind

i guess thats why
they say love is blind
maybe one day
you'll truly be mine
green therapy Jan 2016
you made me love you
i tried to stop
then you walked away
and i felt my heart drop
i tried everything
to make you see
tried to show you i loved you
so that you would love me

so that you would love me
i just wanted you to love me

you said you loved me
but you didnt
i still love you
but i shouldnt
i guess thats all it will ever be
all i wanted
was your time
and all you did
was waste mine
i guess i could never make you see
i just wanted you to love me

so that you would love me
i just wanted you to love me

we were so perfect
but you'd never let that last
couldn't just be happy
always drudging up the past
how could we ever make progress
each time you touched me
deeper id fall
that feeling was truly
something magical
a feeling of success
i just wanted you to love me

so that you would love me
i just wanted you to love me

you said you loved me
but you didnt
i still love you
but i shouldnt
i guess thats all it will ever be
all i wanted
was your time
and all you did
was waste mine
i guess i could never make you see
i just wanted you to love me
so that you would love me
i just wanted you to love me
just tell me that you love me
green therapy Nov 2016
i sit here late at night
and i cry
i always thought
love never says die
we can mend it
we can try
we can make it
so love never says die
thinking over the mistakes
of you and i
but i still have hope
that love never says die
i ache to fix it
some ask me why
its because i believe
love never says die
i still hold out
for blue skies
im still hanging on
because love never says die
i just cant believe
you mean goodbye
it just cant be
for love never says die
green therapy Dec 2015
he said it was love
maybe it was lust
maybe he got lost
in my *** and my bust
maybe he just liked the feeling
of filling a warm hole
maybe it was the fact
that i gave him complete control
maybe i was always
going to be sad
maybe he liked that i gave him
everything i had
maybe one day
ill feel whole again
or maybe this feeling
will never end
Me
green therapy Jul 2017
Me
Im not the same person i was when we fell inlove
You made sure of that
And now that youre gone
I struggle to get me back
What i once thought was forever
Has slipped right through the cracks
Im better off without you
Its time to face the facts
We were going nowhere
You only dragged me down
Its time to make me happy
This smile should never frown
Next time before you break a girls heart
Before you put in your shovel and dig
Before you tell her you love her
You should learn what real love is
You had it
You lost it
Now its your turn to face the facts
To hell with you and whatever you do
Its time to get me back.
green therapy Jan 2016
sitting here
not knowing what to do
falling into music
that reminds me of you
each lyric a cut
deep in my soul
each song a reminder
ill never be whole
each happy note reminds me
we'll never be the same
each sorrowful line
searching to place blame
i wish i could sleep
curled in my bed
but the weary blues echos
deep in my head
green therapy Dec 2015
you just told me
you needed time
not sure i can stop crying
enough to rhyme
you are meant for me
and i for you
take your time
if thats what u have to do
if i can help you make
your decision in any way
tell me what to do
babe i just want you to stay
green therapy Oct 2015
i wish i could just give up
but we both know i cant
no matter what happens
i always give you another chance
through all the dreams weve made
and all the ruined plans
we both still know
my heart is in your hands
green therapy Sep 2015
lying here softly
looking into the night
things arent always out of mind
when theyre out of sight

though you are not here with me
im still thinking of you
seems to be the only thing
i can ever do

what should i do?
i think of you and can not stop
i try to think of other things
but your face pushes right to the top
green therapy Jan 2016
im so sick of this fight
these battles
the constant struggle

i sit and wait for the light
fighting the urge
to rebudle

trying to do whats right
i just dig holes
wheres my shovel

body fills with fright
my priorities
i must juggle

like a ghost my face turns white
my tears
they form a puddle

i sit and ponder late at night
how to breakthrough
your industrial bubble

taking a "break" is not alright
its so hard
to stay humble

but i will fight
with all my might
to forage through our jungle
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