somehow
i go on
simultaneously
knowing and ignoring
that you still love me

silently loving someone else
who isn’t your life partner

feels like death. everyday.

if only i had the courage to break free.

Every human is an explorer, but only few reach the land of the unknown.

my stomach lurches and my heart is racing
staring at the years old photo you sent across
with a message that read
"back when you liked me... but i still like you"

from across the screen
you sensed my trepidation
my phone pings again

"it's okay i know you're just a little scared"

i feel you
pushing your way back in

and i know you can feel me
pushing against it

what are you trying to salvage between us?
everything we had has already been lost.

And so I observed as my leg began to shake in the comfort of my own bed, and the chewing of my cheek in the shower became more noticeable. I had finally realised it was back