Told I’m everything
I’m still not enough
Just another disappointment
That’s all I’ll ever be

Will you make room in your heart
For the both of us
My heart is full of you
I don’t need to love myself, only you

I try my hardest
Still I fail
Am I worthy of you?
I guess I’ll never be

Shadows dancing on the wall
Crystal **** in the hall
Crush with credit card
Snort with nose
Feel the speed in your toes

Sleepless nights and lonely days
Aching bones, mind is crazed
I feel so good, but so alone
It’s good to get high
And watch life fly by

With every drink I feel more alone
And the more the cigarette burns on my arm
Look like kisses
Cigarette kisses

Hating everyone, hating myself
With a heart as black as my lungs
With only my drink and
My cigarette kisses for company

These burns on my arm
That I call sweet kisses
Feel like love
So bittersweet and so painful

Alone in a dark room
The walls painted black
No doors, no windows, just a revolver in hand
Oh god, it’s all in my head

Time to play
A little Russian Roulette

Barrel to temple
A pull of the trigger
Nothing. Better luck next time!

Time to try again
Dull click
How cruel this game is

Once again, pull the trigger
Am I still alive?
Why? Oh why, isn’t it my time?

Begging, praying I try again
BANG
My prayers have been answered

Loving you
Was the worst mistake I ever made
Along with believing you
When you said you loved me too
Because you're a ******* crazy mess
And you only love yourself

I treated you like gold
You treated me like a cigarette; just used me and threw me away
I called you princess
You made me cry myself to sleep
You broke me into a million pieces
And then acted like the victim

I loved you more than myself
But you treated your dogs better than me
I did everything for you
You lied to me and wouldn't see me; not even on my birthday
Then yelled at me and cried when I didn't want to talk to you

And after all this
And so, so much more
You wonder why I hate you? You expect me to forgive you AGAIN?
You say you've changed but you said that last time and the time before
You say you love me, but you're a ******* liar
You only love yourself

Your love is like ******
A sweet needle shooting euphoria
Through my veins
Giving me the epitome of happiness
You are my addiction

Your big, blue-gray eyes are *****
Melting me away with pleasure
Your golden hair the poppies
In which I rest and find peace
Your love is more addictive than ******

But when I lost you
Nothing was worth the pain
The pain, the emptiness
I nearly died
But I made it out; I got clean of you

The other day, I heard from you
You wanted me back
But I was addicted to you once
And I’m never going back there
Your love is too addictive, and the withdrawals too painful

Los Angeles, The City Of Angels
A place where the phrase
***, drugs & rock n roll
Comes to life

Where palm trees are abundant
And the sidewalk is covered in stars
Engraved with the names of Hollywood’s finest
And its mental wreckage

A place where dreams come true
An oasis in the desert
Sandy beaches, elaborate mansions
Trendy shops, expensive cars

Everything you could ever want
Is within an arm’s grasp
Whatever your fix is, it’s here
The true land of the lotus eaters

These scars on my body
These scars on my soul
My lungs black as coal
And my liver like swiss cheese
I am the definition of self hate *******

The crystal ship departs
Leaving me, alone, on these barren shores
Dark skies and devastation
I’m all that’s left

Salt air and soot fill my nostrils
Making them twitch
The freezing sea water splashes
Against my feet
The breeze lifts my hair and calms me

Snow begins to fall
Blending with the ashes
Like salt and pepper
I lay down in it, close my eyes
Take me back to reality

Welcome to America
The land of the free
And the home of the sane
Here in America
There isn’t much to see
Unless you’re in the clutches of insanity and pain

Uncle Sam is watching
Step out of line
You get a bullet in the head
All to protect Uncle Sam
Bow to him and everything will be fine

The time is coming
Uncle Sam will face trial by fire
Anarchy will reign
It is coming
We the insane will rise
And burn Uncle Sam on his funeral pyre
To put an end to the people’s pain

The kid is a ***
A triple platinum, bona fide loser
Jaded, he hides himself away
From love, from friendship, from family
******* away his talents and his time
Boozing and getting high
What a creep

Sleeping on his uncle’s couch
No job, no future, no friends
Drowning in despair and solitude
Doing nothing, not caring
Writing to keep from going insane
He hates himself
Even more than god does

Courage is a very powerful thing
It runs or destroys the world and its people

Courage can be a blessing and a curse
A sinner and a saint
It provokes acts of love and of hate
Of kindness and of cruelty
Acts of violence and acts of peace

Courage wins war and signs treaties
And lets you face your fears

If you can find your courage
Then you shall have power over yourself

But if you can’t find your courage
You cannot face life or overcome it

It’s all in my head
These neon gods prancing
Naked around a fire in the desert
Everything burns

Within the fire
Is a man with a horse’s head
The god of the rain
His agonized shrieks fill the badlands

The fire will consume us all
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Everything will burn

And as the world burns down
We lay ignorant
Trapped by the bounds of reality
Take me
I’m ready to be consumed in flames

I am sick of ****** jobs
With **** poor wages
I am sick of working hard
And not being rewarded
I'm sick of sadistic managers
Always breathing down my neck

I am sick of drinking cheap beer
Because that's all I can afford
I'm sick of making a tank of gas
Last for 2 weeks
I'm sick of having holes in my pants
But I can't afford a new pair

Capitalism makes me sick

I sit on the bridge, legs
Dangling over the edge
Lit cigarette in my
Mouth. The dark, freezing water
Rushes by swiftly
The blistering heat pounds my
Neck and shoulders

Nicotine, heat, rushing water
Cool breeze on my face
Blue tobacco smoke drifting
Off in the lazy afternoon
All calms my troubled mind
If I jump will I be
Just another stick floating down the river?

I am the epitome of misery
This heart break heavy on my mind
So pour me another drink
To get me through the night
But the morning hurts just the same

I love your warm embrace
In the afternoon
When the sunlight plays
Across your golden hair
And the cool breeze
Traces our bodies intertwined
And carries your sweet voice

Your gentle kiss
Is the kiss of a goddess
And brings the utmost pleasure
A height of sensation
A mountain of passion
In you I find my other half
A true mirror of myself

It is 4:30 in the morning and I miss you.
I have just driven home from work and parked in the driveway.
I look around the yard and even in the dark the memories all come back to me.
I leave the Red Hot Chili Peppers on the radio to drown out the noise in my head
But it's the song we always listened to while we were driving.
A single tear runs down my face and I wipe it away.
As I get out of the car and walk to the house, it's drizzling out.
The annoying cat, the one that you love and I hate, is sitting out in the rain meowing.
He is pathetic.
But then again, so am I.
I pick him up and carry him inside with me
Because I think you'd like that.
I sit up drinking even though I'm tired
Because I know I have nothing to look forward to tomorrow since you've been gone

I strike the match
The match strikes the cherry
And I inhale the smoke into these
Diseased lungs
My entire body relaxes
The cancer creeping in calms my mind
And sates my troubles soul

When I exhale
The blue, curling smoke drifts
Up in the sky
Towards a lonely moon
A little bit of life swept away with it
Perhaps to keep the moon company
Or to quicker bring my wretched life
To and end

Why do I destroy myself?
Does it matter? We all die in the end
Maybe the destruction makes it easier
And it still ends the same
Death
For life is a cancer
Perhaps the destruction keeps me breathing

I am a ghost
Simply a hollow shell
Of my former self
I am not happy
Nor am I sad
Only numb, empty

With every heart break
Every betrayal
Every time the world came down
I lost a piece of my soul
Like a leech, every sorrow
****** the feelings out
Leaving me to stand alone against my demons
And no courage to fight them
No courage to live

So I drown myself
Narcotics, *****, cigarettes
Anything to make her face disappear
To put past friends behind
To forget the disappointment in my parents’ eyes
I just want to forget it all
And vanish from the face of the earth

A lone wolf howls on a knoll
Intending to strike fear into the hearts
Of the victims of the night
A frozen, bladelike wind cut into his fur and his cruel
Piercing yellow eyes probe the plain
Blanketed in snow and
Reflecting the moon in all its glory

The three victims be
Children seeking the sea
Runaways they be
The lone wolf’s howl
Strikes fear into their hearts
That gruesome monsters will come to
Eat their body parts

And the moon is an orb
A white orb of light
That lights up
The darkness of the night

And the children will huddle and cry
Knowing that they will die
They will die of cold and fright
In the cruelty of the night

The dog toured the city at night
All orange and red and filled with light

The dog was looking for a fight
One that would give him divine rights

The dog fought many fights that
****** night and won them all
His opponents were quick to fall
And he dismembered them all

His brown fur is matted with bright red
Blood, his body covered in cuts
And he roamed the streets as he bled
In search of doggie *****

As he crosses the street that night
Two bright lights appear
Getting closer, closer
Screeching rubber

Rest in peace, little dog
Rest in peace

I shall head, ignorant and afraid,
Into the abyss,
By my elders I am forbade,
Nevertheless I go, my head a pandemonium of amiss.

Where the blood falls like rain I travel,
And on my knees curse an unknown God,
Right in front of me life unravels,
The desert of the unknown God.

I am drowning, and yet I can breathe,
I breathe the water and the water breathes me,
A flower, a flower! Dare I believe,
Oh sinful flower, will you give me your seed?

I stare at him
He stares at me
His eyes full of gentle sorrow
His ears wagging back and forth with the breeze
***** coat and hooves remarkably clean
A sad horse is he

Jutting hips, protruding ribs
Large frame sunken in defeat
Standing in a pile of **** in the rain
Do you enjoy life, Mr. Ed?
Or do you want to die like me?
Can we make you better, Mr. Ed?

We are driving
Down this never ending road
The truck as smooth as a ship
And in the dark
We are truly alone
The only ones left in the world

The road is light, and then dark
Then light again
But always never ending
If we ever do reach the end
We’ll find only doom and devastation
The end of the world

But for now, we are just 17
We are invincible, indestructible
The entire world is on its knees…

There are my demons
They revel in my flesh
Symbolic fiery beacons
Born from my angry, heartbroken mesh

No one can see the real me
But I just see myself
A dark man full of spiritual debris
In a bad state of mental health

I might be considered insane
But it’s really not me
They don’t really have a name
It’s the demons that reside in me explicitly

There are my demons
Filling me with rage, sorrow and gluttony
Burning internal heathens
That bring out the evil in me
But that’s what keeps me breathin’