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Sep 9 · 51
Fishing
Denise Uy Sep 9
The best fish you can catch is a fresh perspective.
I realized that I should be looking at things differently and it will certainly make a difference for me to do so.
Sep 8 · 162
in your bed
Denise Uy Sep 8
when thunder strikes,
i hear you in my head.
scared, childlike
while you're lying in bed.

tell me what you need.
warmth, a hug from me?
it was what you let me believe
and i was too blind to see.

you tossed me the next day,
from your bed to the streets.
you said we'd be okay

but i guess you really were lying in bed.
oops
Aug 27 · 74
The North Star
Denise Uy Aug 27
That night was our (my) Polaris,
where I thought our futures would take us.
I suppose it wasn't Polaris because you left me with my future, not ours.
I wished for the stars to take us where we thought we'd be, but I guess I wished for dust in the desert.
The stars took back their promises.
Jul 24 · 34
thick dead skin
Denise Uy Jul 24
If there's a way out of this thick dead skin, show me.
If there's a way to be alive despite my thick dead skin, I need to know.
If there's a way to slice through this thick dead skin, hand over a thick sharp blade.
If there's a way out of this thick dead skin, I'll find us again.
this idiot is me
Jul 24 · 101
dead apple
Denise Uy Jul 24
I am a rotten apple.
I am gray and dry,
I rolled in the mud.
I am covered in white fluff,
and it crawls over my skin
so I am no longer an apple.
I am a host for dirt and filth.
this idiot is me
Jul 24 · 36
my fault
Denise Uy Jul 24
My thumb hasn't hovered over a button for so long until today.
Today I said something, and now I need to make myself pay.
It came in the form of guilt and shame.
A mistake this big cost me a shyness I only ever felt at the beginning of all this.
This is the price of betrayal; a hesitance to send a message, the fear of rejection, and a shame of repeating grave mistakes.
this idiot is me
Jun 17 · 58
I won't go out
Denise Uy Jun 17
It's bright in here and I don't know what's outside.
But I'm sure that it's bright here.
I'll stay here. It's safe inside.
Dec 2019 · 177
passive
Denise Uy Dec 2019
chase the clouds away
anger in its wake
a hurricane, a storm
frustration takes form
let my rain speak
let it be gentle
but let the sky darken over it
let the waves toss ships
and let the wind destroy your home
let the cyclone
awaken your caution

but it's all in my head
Held it all in hhahahah
Denise Uy Oct 2019
my words are those taken from someone else's thoughts
they are fishes in a net with tiny holes that i say i caught
but they are also mine though they caught it first.
what is the difference between "im sad" and "im sad"?
and what is the difference between the same kind of fish?
if i grilled mine and you fried yours,
then that is the only difference.
there are no original emotions, only thoughts and concepts
Sep 2019 · 246
Soap in my Hair
Denise Uy Sep 2019
If you think of a life with me, picture me with soap in my hair, bubbles lining the strands of my wet-with-sweat frizz.

Picture the tomato-sauce-stained plates with bits of pasta, scattered by the sink like the continents of the world when it should be just Pangea, one place, all neat.

Picture me holding the sponge, scrubbing the red out of the white plates we ate from.

I'll picture your arms wrapped around me, head resting on my shoulder, murmuring behind me that I smelled like sweat.

Picture me smiling at the honesty and then listen to me complain to you that we should get this done. WE.

I'll picture you rinsing after I told you to and I'll hear your whining about your tired arms and how you're impatient about feeling my lips on yours.

And then we hurry, we wash the dishes together and there is soap in my hair.

We wash our hands which go to each other's waist and then we pull closer and then your hand is on my face and the taste of your mouth is on my tongue.

And then we stop. We stare.

Picture that, PinkInk.
Let's do it again, Pinkink.
Sep 2019 · 84
I Promised
Denise Uy Sep 2019
I laid out my promises on a blanket.
I chose which ones I'd make, which ones I'd break, and which ones I'd keep.

I pick one up to examine it thinking, where would this one be when I'm older?

Sometimes,
I choose in a rush, in a blurry space where liquid burns in my eyes, I ride on a promise I'm forced to cling to.

Sometimes,
I choose with wise judgment, I see myself keeping it until I don't have to.

Sometimes,
I make impossible promises, hollow reassurance, empty, delusional, and temporary.

Sometimes,
I make promises to you, ready with a puffed chest and proud smile. I will keep them all.
I promise.
Sep 2019 · 488
Basic
Denise Uy Sep 2019
I wrote and rejected my own words,
I marked them basic, unoriginal.
I erased lines I never replaced.
I stopped making new worlds.
I loathed that I was only typical,
I hoped it would only be a phase
But I paused.
The pause turned into a halt.
It turned into a break, turned into never.
Then I wrote back all that I lost,
Stopped stopping and breaking and believing the false.
I want to continue writing letters.
So I will mix and match and reach my goal to have never been better.
Finally, I just went ***** it I'll write. Thank you, pinkink. I love you
May 2019 · 335
You're Warm
Denise Uy May 2019
Your heat and mine, in the spaces between our palms and fingers,
in the closeness of our tangled legs on the cold floor,
in the wholeness I feel after a long embrace,
in the light striking your brown eyes,
in the contact of your hand to my face, your thumb stroking my cheek,
and the world melts around us,
beyond the point of your heat and mine.
Apr 2019 · 210
Untitled
Denise Uy Apr 2019
i reached the peaks of my sadness a few times this week
once because i miss her
twice because im transferring
thrice because i failed
four times because my mom hates me
five times because i want to die
six times because i am alone
seven times because im begging to get
my life back together
Apr 2019 · 144
Untitled
Denise Uy Apr 2019
see my angsty pout?
i will never be enough
but i was before
Apr 2019 · 266
Untitled
Denise Uy Apr 2019
just drop the shovel
you are not a dead person
it's not your turn yet
Denise Uy Mar 2019
it's physics, alright, this whole thing is.
my mom flicked us off the goshdarn cliff.
all we're doing is falling but get this:
our fingers gon' find something to grip
ain't gon' do much, that, we will loosen.

we be fallin' and i reckon it will hurt,
y'know, hitting the ground, so small tip.
brace yourself, prepare for the worst.
it's going to be a pretty rough trip.
we will break bones and lose our heads.

we got no clue where we'll land
but we know what we're goin' through
and if we gotta fall we gotta stand.
while we fall there ain't much to do;
just fall 'til we go where we gotta be.

and in the end, when we're healed from it,
the someone you're with don't gotta be me.
I wouldn't have wished for another kind of fall. As long as we know it'll end, I will willingly keep falling.
Mar 2019 · 225
World vs You
Denise Uy Mar 2019
The world is something I inconsistently love yet when it's you? There's no time to stop loving you at all.
I love youuu
Denise Uy Feb 2019
i sat with the company of an absent mind
and while my brother bent over paper,
his hands carefully making strokes with a pencil
i watched and heard my mother ask him,
"what are you writing?"
and i thought, "when will you ever ask me?"

when i was hunched over my chicken-scratch-filled
notebook, you didn't even bother looking.
when i proudly read the feelings i turned into words,
where was your question: "what are you writing?"

i think i just missed when back then she read my stories
and waved it at my father.
i think i miss the grins that came after.
i think i miss when i wrote and you'd
find my childish plot and still think it's great.

but ma, ive written 40 poems this year
and when im hunched over another
chicken-scratch-filled piece of paper,
i want to hear the question again -
"what are you writing?"
i think this is the most truthful thing ive written
Dec 2018 · 268
Pineapples on Pizza
Denise Uy Dec 2018
I'm not a pineapples-on-pizza person but I know you are.
If I were pizza, I'd have pineapples on top.
If I weren't, would I have caught your attention?
Would you have made that satisfied moan when you tasted me and groped my *** - I mean crust (but really, what's the difference) - while you brought me to your lips for another bite?
I haven't written anything in a while.
Nov 2018 · 152
The Things We Owe Ourselves
Denise Uy Nov 2018
We owe it to ourselves to grow
and think of the places we can go.
We owe it to ourselves to grow
just as high as the sky allows us to
but let it be that the sky owes it to us
to rise higher as we will it to.

Let the clouds part that our dreams may pass
and they flower into bills and wads of cash and more than that -
let it be that we don't stick our heads up our *****
and that we breathe comfortably together with those we love.

Let it be that when the time comes, we are cut down before we wither.
Let it be that decomposition should come after and that we die before we break down.
Nov 2018 · 838
Sleepover
Denise Uy Nov 2018
Her faint pop music,
The giggles they make
in the dark
In one room
Different worlds
Deep in slumber
Or awake on the surface
No in between
Sleep won't sink in
Patience wearing
Head ringing
Throat feeling bile
I'm tired.
Phrases
Oct 2018 · 313
Messenger Ding
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Ding went the phone
when I was alone.
Thud went my feet,
loud like drumbeats.
Ding went the sound
then a small frown.
A sigh came from me;
it wasn't from he.
What if I was on the receiving end of the frown, though?
Oct 2018 · 419
There Are Times
Denise Uy Oct 2018
What if when I said I cared for you,
it was only in that moment?

What if even it was true,
it was only temporary?

I never said I always would
since I wasn't sure I always could.

So I wouldn't be lying if I told you again, because it would only be for the sake of the moment.
Oct 2018 · 204
Let Me Know You
Denise Uy Oct 2018
I thought I knew you
but I've been floating on the surface.
If what I've seen's true,
I'll dive headfirst to your place.
My messy aims
released me to a vaccum in nowhere.
I struck home, felt nothing,
touched everything since you're there.
I thought 'twas over,
but you're always somewhere.
I don't really know you,
wish I did, I want reasons to be there.
So give me reasons to be there.
I'll listen to the things that you'll share.
You don't need to feel mundane
because whatever it is, I'll care.
Small achievements or nightmares,
complaining that life's unfair,
let me be close to you
and let's turn things around.
Just you and me,
we'll leap off the ground and
stay in the air.
For the person I met years ago and only noticed now.
Oct 2018 · 190
Statues
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Ivory frozen in grace,
Lifeless sight unerased.
They take their place
in the hall of fame.
The artist, the art,
we know their names.
Art <3
Oct 2018 · 339
Rainy Night
Denise Uy Oct 2018
I didn't have an umbrella.

The night sky was darkened by gray clouds,
and the rain fell from there, way down to the ground.
The path I walked was not dry,
and I could not find a roof to hide.

So I drowned the complaints of my drenched hair,
I told my skin not to care that it was sticky,
and I reached to the sky with my arms bare.
I didn't have to pretend it wasn't raining there.

Because I bounced from a puddle to another,
and I felt like I'd be stepping on water forever
but I didn't have to bother for cover.
I was not any less naked to the rain than the street kid on the road.

I quite enjoyed the ******,
the rain and its touching me,
and it didn't choose where to touch.
It just flowed from hair to shoes,
and I was peaceful very much.
It was raining.
Oct 2018 · 285
Glances
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Scan the room, pause at you, blink, scan and pretend I didn't just glance at you.
Look up, pause at you, blink, sweep my eyes away from you.
Lean on the table, look relaxed, write things absently.
I see you at the corner of my eye, scanning the room, pausing at me,
blinking, and pretending you didn't just glance at me.
Looking up, pausing at me, blinking, sweeping your eyes away from
mine.
Permission to push down the butterflies, please?
Let me just try to wipe the stupid smile off my face. XD
Oct 2018 · 953
Symbols
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Can you read what you read?
I'm sure you can and there's no need to ask.
But it's weird.
Feeling through symbols.
Understanding symbols.
Writing symbols.
Combining symbols to make sense.
But some combinations are wrong.
Making sounds for symbols.
Saying the symbols correctly.
Different accents for symbols.
Drawing symbols, making them look pretty.
Fonts for symbols.

Imagine. We are ruled by systems of symbols.
Language
Oct 2018 · 123
Fish
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Fish would rather suffocate in land than drown in water.
Denise Uy Oct 2018
There's something I'm itching to write
but I bite my lips and grip the pencil tight.

Nothing comes to mind.

I write this sentence but it doesn't sound quite right, it doesn't quite capture the essence of tonight.

I stare at the wall, then back at the paper where no words land. My thoughts make my hair stand and I want people to understand.

But my hand doesn't move.

So I sit back and write about not knowing what to write.
Here we go again. Hahah.
Oct 2018 · 835
Is This Really Paradise?
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Just shallow, raspy breaths in this hollow paradise,

and nothing that inspires me to open my eyes.

The barren ground gives me no reason to rise,

and I touch nothing that satisfies.

The shoes that hurt and clamp on my feet,

painful, black leather's the only thing I meet.

Smiling every day is such a great feat,

sad words in thousands of ink-stained sheets.

Uncountable, the laughs.

Unforgettable, the scowls.

Undeniable, the acts.

Undetectable, the frowns.
Oct 2018 · 208
Warm Waters
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Step in the warm sea,
Sit still in the shallow parts...
You'd never swim deep.
Oct 2018 · 280
Question Alone
Denise Uy Oct 2018
What do I really know?
Is it reality I should let go?
Should I let confusion show?
When's my turn on death row?
How am I already in all-time low?
Am I freezing in the snow?
What should I do if I'm alone?
Who's with me on the phone?
Which things should I condone?
When will I be just bones?
How long should I wander and roam?
Are they just the same tones?
Just asking questions alone.
Oct 2018 · 736
True False
Denise Uy Oct 2018
Triangles are polygons but you tell me they're round...
and I believe you.

There's more to everything than straight lines.

Beautiful's an adjective but you tell me it's a noun...
and I don't doubt you.

You tell me I make flat words come alive.

The sky is black at night but you tell me day is darker...
and you convinced me.

At day, even the brightest lights don't shine.

Rationality impressed me but now it's so absurd.
You and your false statements, but all truer than true.
Sep 2018 · 129
Try All You Want
Denise Uy Sep 2018
A world with people and daily lies,
Rushing people day and night,
but so many truths left behind.

All the evil we try to hide
still reveals itself to the outside.
We hold it and we do try
but lies, like oil on water
Still float to rise.
Another one about lies. Hahah, I feel I'm being lied to and played with.
Sep 2018 · 223
Help Me See
Denise Uy Sep 2018
takes a load of persuasion to convince me
to take off the blindfold that blinds me
wasn't made to really believe completely
that there's a better reality to see
a soul that couldn't comprehend the bad
takes a load of explaining to understand
that life isn't exactly very grand
just a little more coaxing to get up and stand

tired but not ready to let go of the shell
tired of believing that all is well
there's still so much pessimism to quell
need to be awakened by tons of church bells

never one to let the negativity out
always the one who lets people down
never really rising, always a half-crouch
eternity of darkness going round and round
never really appreciated calming sounds

help me get out of the grave i dug
the grave i buried myself in
don't look at my tombstone and shrug
i need help and i want a hug
Sep 2018 · 572
Because It's Me
Denise Uy Sep 2018
It's not difficult to think of stopping
when the green light is on.

******* up on an everyday basis,
when everything should be easy,
only to end up with another crisis.

Spitting out the blame on everything
instead of swallowing it down,
just to avoid the bittersweet of it all.

A bubble harder than concrete,
Tears saltier than the Dead Sea,
the waves of frustration when
expectations and reality don't meet.

Lone wolf hunting down dead leaves,
Slumped on the forest ground.
Abandoning the will to retrieve,
Giving up on the wolf that believed.

**** the perfect cups of tea.
All that's left is bitter coffee,
Not my taste but life's not sweet.
I should get used to lifting weights
and doing tons of things I hate.

Not doing well and all but I'm
trying to survive because it's
me.
***** everything. Imma chill for a sec.
Sep 2018 · 245
early birds
Denise Uy Sep 2018
what a day,
we're all blue.
go away.
what'd you do?

it gets worse.
they complain
like a horse,
an endless neigh.

you wanna die?
take the pills.
you can try,
you can ****.

too bad i'm here.
it's too early.
you chase death,
you're getting near.
i run after you,
out of breath.

please slow down.
you rush things.
don't die now,
it's too early.
don't give up.

they see you run,
it's a normal thing.
they saw one.
faster, running,
she caught death.

they weren't surprised.
i want them to be.
blinded eyes,
let dying people be -
but don't let them be.

see the sickness,
i beg you now.
save some happiness,
give them crowns
for living still and
not getting there
(to the place we
start giving
up).
I have a lot of friends who want to die and it's sooo normal for people to say that that no one really bothers to change the way they think but I want that to change. Everyday's just me seeing people buy and eat rotten tomatoes. It's sad.
Sep 2018 · 184
Too Big
Denise Uy Sep 2018
I'm glad I was too big for your box of lies.
I'm glad I didn't fit in.
Hopefully I don't shrink so you
don't shove me inside.
Sep 2018 · 2.4k
slippery
Denise Uy Sep 2018
The rope I'm gripping tightly have
taut fibers twined around each other.
I wove them that way, meticulously.
One string after another, its form gathers,
and I'm proud of my craft.

I've used it to save myself and others,
pulling and tying knots, anchoring.
A tightrope to dance on over and over,
Tugging, stretched, fighting, breaking,
but my rope's getting slippery.

I've used it so much it's hard to hold on.
It's overused and now
everything's
going
wrong.

Only a matter of time before I can cut it
without effort,
just one scissor,
and it's no more.

I'll tie it back together but I can only try so hard.
It's wearing down, going gone.
It withers and soon I'll have none.
Nothing to save me, or them
if I start abusing it again.
I need a break.
Sep 2018 · 330
not easy
Denise Uy Sep 2018
i've an oily face
pimples growing everywhere
i am very stressed
rawr life aint taking it easy on me rn
Denise Uy Sep 2018
You make a fool of death with your beauty and for a moment I forget to worry.
It's not mine but I love this line from the song.
Sep 2018 · 112
Writer's block
Denise Uy Sep 2018
I wish I could write just as easily as my breath flows.
yay, a one-liner!
Denise Uy Sep 2018
let the fireworks fly and light up the sky
when you decide you need to stop crying.
let them hear the booming of color and might.
when you admit that you have feelings
and when you forgive yourself for pretending.
it's time to stop pretending
Sep 2018 · 1.9k
don't let them
Denise Uy Sep 2018
how can such hollow words fool you?
how can you not see from your point of view?
you let them pluck you like a fragile lute,
you let them **** on you as if you were the ground.
stop letting them smell you as if you were foul.
just fight back and start with a growl.

don't let them move you around in a chess game.
let their every advance not allow your mind to sway.
you could be losing but don't toss the board yet.
stay even when all seems to go downhill,
stay and don't let your losses shake your will.
just fight back, break yourself free, and live with thrill.

roar even when they can barely hear
and know that they're not the ones to fear.
do what it takes to amplify your lion heart.
you can borrow my light to see through the dark.
aim carefully like you were shooting darts.
just fight back, shield your person, and make your mark.
learn to listen and stand your ground. g'night mga doi
Sep 2018 · 675
Come In and Let's Talk
Denise Uy Sep 2018
If I get lonely, I won't blame you.
I'm wrapped in a blanket of gloom.
If the rain falls to my face,
and you don't offer an umbrella,
It's my fault for not approaching.
If I converse with myself again
instead of chatting with my friends,
I'm bound to think I'm alone
Even though I'm not.
I'm a turtle carrying my own home
Yet I can't get inside.
The key I'm trying to find
Is locked within its walls.
I won't break myself to find home,
I'll forge a key instead.
I will open the doors
So I can let you in and I can stop
being lonely.
I've been blocking out people for too long. Time for a change.
Sep 2018 · 164
Suffocating
Denise Uy Sep 2018
Come over, I'll show you my world.
My world's designed to grasp self-worth
And to embed its purpose in my aging soul.
It's made to rotate and shift from light to dark,
another chance to redeem and to leave a mark.
A thousand heavens flock into one star
And the star smiles subtly at the dying heart.
Obsidian chains coil around the beating heart
and my world is choked but the star
keeps smiling and my world keeps going.
I give and sustain, it lives and maintains.
I will not die in vain because I am
ready for obsidian chains.
Sep 2018 · 1.4k
A Ghost's Journey
Denise Uy Sep 2018
The ghost is stranded in the thriving desert.
The ghost is trying to find asphalt paths.
The ghost climbing over dunes, sweaty with effort.
The ghost is lost but it never looks back.

The ghost finds water in spiky poles.
The ghost seeks comfort in the burning sand.
The ghost prays for stars when the moon shines alone.
The ghost is lost but it never looks back.

The ghost looks for home every day
but the farther it's gone the more it's astray.
The ghost sits in scorching contentment.
The ghost is thriving in what is now its home.
Denise Uy Sep 2018
Filipino:
Ang sumusulat -
Lumalamig ang puso,
Nag-iisa lang.
Damdaming tinatago -
Nagsusulat ng tanka.

English:
The person writing -
Her heart is getting colder,
She's isolated.
Her feelings are her secrets -
She is writing a tanka.
This is a tanka in my language, Filipino. I tried to translate it to English and keeping its tanka form.
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