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goodtea Oct 2018
I want to burn alive.
I want to never speak again.
I want tell them everything.
.
goodtea May 2018
I heat the water until
it burns, I never know exactly
what I’m trying to burn off

and

We get high because getting high
is a little bit easier than
getting close
get close to me
goodtea Jun 2018
Maybe at one point
I would have written
Great poetry,
But
I lost something
Along my way.
I won’t get it back.
I don’t expect you
To return it.
Some things are lost, lost, lost.
goodtea May 2018
I don’t talk in school
They can’t decide
If I’m stupid, cool
Or just a tool

I don’t talk in class
And teachers believe rumors
That I sit on my ***
And light up some grass

I don’t talk in cars
And sliding down my windows
Getting rid of my glass bars
Let’s forget some scars

I don’t talk at home
And that is okay
The place is empty, I’m alone
With my disconnected phone

I don’t talk much
Never say what I should
My eyes speak for me, hold people in their clutch,
Warn, “Don’t touch.”
An old poem from high school. I was working through something haha. I was probably being silly.
goodtea Sep 2019
wired soul,
punctured through
the only one bleeding is you
blood over cracked lips
you fear you'll
stab the person closest to you
but where you see barbs
they see a friend

hey wired soul,
people pet porcupines
and walk on needles
so don't draw up
warnings and cautions
the problem is you've been
chasing balloons
when you should go find
those fun *******
who know
all the best things
come with some risk.
your heart is a steel trap, but some people wouldn't mind being caught.
goodtea May 2018
Listen
I’m a
**** up
So
Don’t listen to me
Ya feel
goodtea Mar 2019
You tell him you love him
Because you don’t want him to leave
You don’t know the difference
idontk
goodtea Mar 2
Listen, we were together
And you reminded me of every lost chance I had.
You were always happy to see me,
But something in your eyes watered.

You were a soft baby,
Sheltered and raised gently.
Your mother told you she would always love you.

I was jagged edges and cold eyes.
I knew one day you would cut your hands open on my cheekbones.
I worried it would be your first time bleeding.

I wondered how far you would fall when I dropped you.
An eagle holding bait.

We would drive and talk about things that mattered,
I told you I tended to forget things.
I didn't tell you that you might be one of them.

You used to whisper, "You're beautiful."
You used to squeeze me so tight.
I used to hold onto your hand,
Afraid I would let go.
I let go.
goodtea May 2018
You wanted to be a soldier
But you grew up in urban warfare
A battle of class and hate

You became a soldier just not how
You thought you’d be and now
It’s too late for childhood dreams

I’m looking for words but there’s a
Body in the ground because of you
**** why did it have to be you

Let’s go back to being kids and
I’ll ask you what you want to be
Again and this time you can say

Something different and we’ll
Grow up better and smarter
Instead of growing up bad
goodtea Jun 2018
It’s all been said and done before,
But we’ll say it and do it
All over again
.з.
goodtea Jun 2018
She’s too beautiful
Words do justice to
A great many things.

They describe raging storms,
And sparkling seas, and
All the stars in the galaxy,
But,
Nothing describes her.
.
goodtea Apr 2018
Don't tell me to  
rely on you anytime if  
you don't mean it.  

When you say  
words like that  
you mean to  pull me close.  

To tie us together  
with the rope of your  intentions.

But when you don't mean it,  
I set my anchor on other shores.  

If you're not there,  
someone else will be.
+゚*。:゚+(◕‿◕✿)+゚*。:゚+
goodtea Sep 2018
he
disregards me
says it's funny when i'm mad

he says he
likes the idea of me
"i wanna *******" and
"i don't think you know
how much you turn me on"
he likes the physical

his drunk texts are angry
the next day is always peaches

i can always trust him to lie

he says he thinks about me all the time
but he wont let me spend time with his friends

i told him stop and no and
i thought i was healing but i-
i thought i was overreacting but i

screamed, "DON’T TOUCH ME" the
next time someone hugged me and
told myself it wasn't a big deal

started lying for him and
told myself he cared and
maybe he didn't realize

i

disregarded myself

so now that i've left
he can be mad
and maybe i’ll laugh
whomp whomp


sorry i disappeared
goodtea Apr 2019
He stretches out next to me,
And whispers,
"You're so beautiful",
Like it's the only honest thing
He's ever said..
whomp whomp
goodtea Apr 2018
When we’re together
Sparks fly except
They burn too hot
Until there’s a
Blazing ******* fire
And it’s out of control
Burn your heart out *****
Too close and didn’t know how to not hurt each other. It happens. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How does the tagging system on here work? Don’t wanna misuse it.
goodtea Oct 2018
Sometimes i feel like
ripping my wrists open
skin crawling

How do i stop
i let my anger get me
let it shred up my skin

Sometimes the pain feels like relief
because feeling awful on the inside
and being fine on the outside is worse

Sometimes i wish i
could give in and rip my veins apart
just so the outside can match the in

Let me destroy myself a little
so i can watch myself heal
a fascination with scars
just my personal experience
goodtea Apr 2018
One a red fire
The other a yellow sunset
Scribbled paper and
A foot turning in dirt
One says live
The other says love
A poem about two boys. written for myself, so no worries if it makes no sense. hazy memories and nostalgia
goodtea Apr 2018
Everything you fear is real  
Just not in any way  
That matters to anyone  
Except for you  
In your head
.
goodtea Oct 2018
If every star in the sky decided to die tonight,
I would still spend my darkest hours with you.

Something in you shines

Brighter than the sun.
.
goodtea Jun 2018
I just want
To see her smile  
I can't forgive anyone
that hurts her
When she forgives
I will be angry
In her stead

When she is tired
From her battles
I will be there
With some cake and
A smile  
And maybe
She will smile back
she is loved
goodtea Jun 2018
There's a hole
In my soul
Damning me
Because this darkness
Will burn me whole
hey hey hey
goodtea Dec 2018
I liked the way you said my name,
Like a man encountering a goddess.

In one breath,
you made my name
beautiful.
Made me beautiful.

I turned my back to you
Out of fear and loathing,
But I'll be listening for the next person
Who says my name
like something to be loved.
an oldie from when I was younger and more accident prone.
goodtea Apr 2019
Flowers crawl up
Pushing aside dirt,
What was once a
Heavy weight
Now the support we
Plant our roots on
Dig deep
Until we bloom.
wrote this while helping run a group so don't let people think you can't multitask.
goodtea Apr 2018
Some poems are
Waking up at night  
Screaming and crying  
Clawing at your own skin  
Get it out and away

Some poems are a
Slow start  
A caught breath and  
The fluttering of eyelashes
A dream to fight the nightmares
words words words
goodtea Jan 2019
pretty little thing,
"men will treasure you,"
her mother told her.
but she gazed at the stars,
and thought men were a little short sighted.
.
goodtea Apr 2018
Lunch is too short
Choke down your food
Rush the moments
You wish you could hold
Bell rings and you
Dump your tray
Unsavory rejects and
Picked-at leftovers
It’s all trash.
But lunch comes again
Tomorrow
Maybe it’s not really about lunch
goodtea Jul 2018
She is
His only victim
And therefore she is
Both the strongest and
Weakest link in the room
The power to
Hold or to
Destroy her family
Rests on her
To destroy with the truth
Or to hold with her silence.
maybe it is time for some destruction.
goodtea Nov 2018
they
taught. you.
how to be a monster
and

were shocked
when you
grew teeth

you. apologized
but they were
bleeding already

cut
on weaponized smiles
and you. learned. to. rip. happiness.
out of sliced necks

fear and anger
sever your feet
so
run monster run
be.fore.

they teach you
new. cruelties.
bite. the.hands.
that.  fed.
you.
goodtea Jun 2018
I can feel myself breaking
The cracks and the edges
"Stay up with me"
He says
"I want to sleep"
I reply
i don't know.
goodtea Jul 2018
My best friend kissed me
Wrote, “MINE” across my body

My lover held me close
Then closer

Fingers grip tight
Don’t let go,
No room to move.

They ask “Am I heavy?”
I laugh because I can’t breathe.
An oldie
goodtea Apr 2018
They never tell you
In the books
How weird it is to
Be the ****** up one
Of your friends
They make it sound dark and broody
But they never talk about the distance
And how no one can relate and all
Those awkward pauses and silences
That happen when you speak
Hey they never tell you in
Books and movies
That it ******* *****
Being the ****** up friend
Bleeding hearts and tragic poetry
Have no space
In real life
And
Sometimes late at night you’ll reach
For your phone and realize you
Have no one to call
Cause when you’re the ****** up
Friend everyone else sleeps easy
And you’re left alone with all your
Demons and truths you can’t swallow
Hey it’s weird being the ****** up friend
i can still taste the blood in my mouth
goodtea Mar 2019
Tell me a story
Where the girl doesn't bleed
And love doesn't die.

Tell me your sweet lies.
.
goodtea Jul 2018
you're not a sinner
but a saint
and if i'm wrong
we'll build our own faith
where we can worship
each other day
and night
and i'll bless you with
my lips and hands
so you can know
that every word of love
i speak is a prayer
and your love is  an answer
goodtea May 2019
1.
He's seen too much.
Fourteen and already the world
Leaves him blinking his eyes
Wishing to see no more.
2.
His problem is that he's felt too much.
Too many hands on his body and
Too many cracks in his heart.
Life hasn't been kind.
3.
He needs a reminder.
He is still a child and not at fault
For the sins of his father,
The sins of the family.
4.
He carries this burden,
Thinking he must be strong.
Everyone watches him crumble.
No one steps in.
5.
No one can see hope or a human soul,
But it's easy to watch both die
Without a sound.
No protest. No defense.
6.
Stab wounds to the heart,
Covered in band aids.
He's told the future is better
But he's bleeding out right now.
7.
Dead but alive,
A moving body with sightless eyes.
But light can flicker.
Light can spark.
8.
I'm going to look him in the eye.
I'm going to see hope,
and I'm going to see a soul,
Two gazes in the dark.
.

— The End —