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Dylan Feb 2019
This the script with no in fade.
This the tale with no once upon a time.
This the story with no true start,
the story of my grueling climb.
-
I had not - for so, so long - been fully sane
and would not feel fully sane for far longer.
I was not yet able to take a drink
when I first heard Death’s frightful song
-
It was my final year of college -
or the final it was supposed to be -
When my illness sank its fangs into my head.
When the mania nearly meant the end of me.
-
Problems lay dormant for decades
and troubled me when I needed peace most.
At the age when I’d normally be dating,
it seemed as if solitude was to be my perpetual post.
-
I had not been happy for some months
but always thought I was just lonely.
I was evading any treatment and concern,
all the while growing ghastly.
-
I left school with just three courses left
to find my peace at home.
Much to my chagrin,
every problem and symptom still shone.
-
I once again tried to ignore them
and tried to hide myself away.
I threw myself into games and drugs,
anything to push pain to the fray.
-
It worked for a few weeks,
but as soon as I was alone it ended.
I was thrown back into despair,
confident my use had been expended.
-
With no hope left for the future,
I set out to die by rope.
The only pause was for my mother
but I was too far down the *****.
-
Luckily, the rope lost its hold on me
shortly after I passed out.
I woke up on the floor - knot still around me -
and was apathetic towards this rout.
-
Upon awakening the next day,
I decided I should finally find help.
My lack of regret seemed strange,
and motivated me to - finally - pursue my health.
-
Through a painful, month-long process
I found the answers I so desperately needed.
Bipolar was - and still is - shocking.
I had no idea how deep its fangs were truly seeded.
-
I may be back in the real world now,
but my recovery is not over.
I have my answers and the medicine to heal me
but I’m still haunted by the things that were.
-
I will continue to work for a better tomorrow.
I will continue helping those like me.
I will forget the things that were
and take joy in things yet to be.
-
To my brothers and sisters in pain:
You are not alone and your illness is not you.
I know you feel forlorn,
but your health you must pursue.
-
It is never easy for us to seek help,
our problems we think can solve themselves.
It is okay to find support.
We must stop retreating into our shells.
-
The more of us that open up,
the less of us that feel alone.
We all have similar issues
and only we can let health be sown.
-
Love your brothers. Love your sisters.
Love your enemies. Love your neighbors.
But please - above all else -
Love yourselves.
Dylan Jan 2019
Why do I write?
Why expect anyone to read?
Perhaps I want to help,
but am I the right choice?
/
Am I right to have confidence?
Should I lack it instead?
Am I a Frost, a Poe,
or someone forever unknown?
/
Will this ever be discovered?
Will my private thoughts become public?
If they are private, WHY am I still writing?
Do I want people to know?
/
Help me.
Dylan Jan 2019
There I was just sat and loaded
ready to be self-exploded
when a little birdie called me
he did not proceed to stall me
instead begged harm to befall me.
/
He was getting me so flustered
while his tiny wings just fluttered
he did not seem to receive
as I begged him to relieve me
of the pain, he would not cease me.
/
i once again begged him to go
but no weakness did he show
he had set off to just guilt me
and with torment, he had filled me
'til he convinced my gun to **** me.
/
With no confidence in relief
and the only thought in me grief
i decided to be exploded
with the gun that was still loaded
i pulled the trigger and then floated.
Dylan Jan 2019
I knew she was the one for me
when I fully lost my sanity.
I was the lowest I had ever been
and never thought I would find love again.
/
I found her on the internet
and never thought she would be my wife.
I wanted to keep it casual
but she soon became my entire life.
/
She was waiting for me when I left,
when I thought I had found my cure.
When I finally first saw her
my heart skipped a beat I'm sure.
/
She was just as I expected
and as caring as I hoped.
She understood my illness
without the need to keep it cloaked.
/
She will be the one I marry
and I will never doubt our flame.
I cannot wait to wed her
and could not be prouder to give her my name.
Dylan Jan 2019
I found love in the loneliest place.
At the absolute end of the line.
I had no will to continue,
and for nothing did I pine.
/
Then I saw her and was taken
with her presence and her stature.
I was transfixed upon her aura
and the notice she did capture.
/
It was not supposed to happen
but I fell in love abruptly.
She was far, far too special
for the rules to constrain me.
/
She was not without her flaws
but never once did I see them.
She was the one for me.
She was my uniquely beautiful gem.
/
Sadly I had no courage
and I never did approach her.
I will forever love her from afar
but I will never go near her.
Dylan Dec 2018
You are God, you do not exist to me.
Are you the god responsible for mur-
dering millions of children every year?
If you did one thing, you do all things. Take
your blame, God. You alone are on trial.
/
Answer for your sins. Explain your transgre-
ssions against humankind. You alone must
pay for the pain imposed on this planet.
The time for faith has passed, take action now,
before you lose your weak hold on my life.
/
Why did you take my father? My daughter?
Give me back my loved ones and I will be-
gin to consider my belief again.
You who have claimed piety, stand for me
and justify my suffering at once!
/
You are still absent, what demands your at-
tention more than this? Are there more pressing
concerns in your kingdom of dirt? What is
more vital than claiming your forgotten
son? I abstain from this myth forever.
Dylan Dec 2018
STAND AND MARCH
FACE YOUR ABUSER
SHOW HIM YOUR WORTH
SPARE HIM NO PAIN
HE SPARED YOU NONE
/
MARCH BEHIND HER
SHE STANDS TALL
EMPOWERED BY SUPPORT
SHE WILL PREVAIL
THE PATRIARCHY WILL FALL
/
HIS REIGN ENDS SOON
HERS WILL SOON BEGIN
THE ERA OF THE WOMAN
HOW NEEDED IT IS NOW
SHE IS ON THE HORIZON
/
SHE IS THE HORIZON
MARCH BEHIND HER
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