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Kat Schaefer May 2020
If you’re Jim Jones, then I’m the drinker of the Kool-Aid
I will nod my head in submission and act unafraid
I shall follow in your footsteps and bow before your feet
For I am but a troubled girl who lacks a self-esteem

If you’re Charles Manson, then I’m your ardent devotee
My life, a mere sacrifice, for the desires of thee
Your love and approval is my only mode of existence
For I know nothing else, but am fearful of your distance

If you’re Marshall Applewhite, then I’m your Bonnie Lu
This world is blinded by sacrilege and doesn’t know the truth
So as the comet passes, and we are greeted by our deaths
I will kiss your cheek and say “you were worth my final breaths”

If you’re my spontaneous soulmate, then I am but a victim
For your sudden interest leads to a dangerous addiction
In a few weeks you will disappear and I will question why
While you tell your friends that you’re a "really nice guy”

And I will sit and wonder why you quickly lost interest
When I was unaware of your feelings of belligerence
After weeks of contemplation I will come to realize
That I too was but a sheep, that was herded on your lies
Kat Schaefer May 2020
Mama tells me you’ve been at night school
You make your living from 9 to 5
I know you like to burn the midnight oil
You study physics just to feel alive

Daddy says you spend too much time
Trying to prove that you’re above this town
He says education won’t get you nothing
Except a mortarboard and a gown

But I say forget mama and daddy
I love to see you sparkle and shine
How you talk about dystopian literature
When you come home for Scrabble and wine

Miss Carol says you’re wasting your energy
That an education won’t bring you a man
But if you live your life like Miss Carol
Being alone is part of the plan

Pastor Jenkins warns you of temptation
How knowledge often leads men astray
But I know God wouldn’t have made the path
If it meant you couldn’t walk your way
Kat Schaefer May 2020
Like many
I am seeking enlightenment
An explanation for life and the here after
Yet there is silence from our savior
Which I have deemed
‘The immaculate absence’

Nevertheless I am fearful
Of a future in oblivion
Of being escorted
To the chamber of deviants
Of fire and brimstone
Next to Stalin and Dahmer

My clock continues to tick
Each second grows more unnerving
In Jesus’ holy name I pray
Help me
Kat Schaefer May 2020
I hope your mornings are filled with kindness
That you rise with the sun instead of the snooze
May your coffee be warm and runneth over
And that you take the time to walk among the lilacs

I hope your afternoons are fast and productive
That your lunch is always your favorite
That you have enough mayo to mix with your ketchup
And that your fries are always crinkled but never cold

I hope that you ditch work for Wednesday night trivia
Your evening away from the relentless overtime
That you indulge in cheap food and light conversation
And that you never think twice about putting yourself first

I hope that you crawl into bed before midnight
That you are greeted by a soft pillow and warm blankets
May your eyes grow heavy and the lights go dim
And that you always remember that you are loved
Kat Schaefer Apr 2020
I’ve never met God but I want him to be kind
To be cradled in his warmth
To be the center of his adoration

I want a wave of reassurance
To collapse onto my sinking body
As I tell him of all the times
That I had forgotten how to swim

He will laugh and nod his head
Wipe my glossy eyes and remind me
That swimming isn’t always so easy

Especially when the tide picks up
The water gets deeper
And you are left gasping for air
While desperately clinging
Onto anything that will keep you anchored

Despite my doubts, his love for me is not lessened
His impression of me remains unchanged
And because of that I remain loyal

For there is nothing more appealing
Than an unadulterated love
By a creature of such divinity and grace

— The End —