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Insanity is only
a thought away
Soon I will fall
into the void
where the self is gone
and so is the world

where no one can help you
and you have dissolved
where nothing is big
and nothing is small
time has lost significance
one moment is eternity

no ambition and no desire
no love and no hate
hollow and dark
smooth and rigid
where can you go?

Even in death
there is no escape
from the infinite cycle
of life
of madness
of never knowing
why I am here
One of my darker ones, feeling quite depersonalized at the time.
The wind
it talks, you know
it stirs your soul
and whispers softly
into the depths of yourself
"Here is the mystery,
here is the point where all things
are born, and all things die.
Before existence
there was I.
After death
there I am.
I am your mother
I am your father
I am you."
Right now
this is the home
of physical
of spiritual
ethereal, tangible
known and unknown
fact and fiction
truth and false.
Right now,
is the home
the very marrow
of creation.
Sitting by the pond,
this evening is so calm and crisp.
The light of the moon shines down upon the Earth
and it reflects on the water's surface.
The brilliant stars hanging in the night sky
sing a song of mystery and wonder
stirring the imagination.
Close my eyes,
breathe deeply within,
I am not separate,
I am.
I.
.
This is an old one I wrote while attending my first year of college. I would frequently walk to a pond in the woods behind my dorm at night time and meditate by the edge of the water. This was before depersonalization.
I wish someone would understand
The pain upon which my soul lies

The misery I’m in cannot be described
My lips cannot speak this language

I pray for death that I’m terrified from it
For when I die, everything will be gone
But why have fear when I have nothing to lose?

Ironic it is to be afraid of something you’re already in, isn't it?
Am I alive or is this all a lie?
In times of need, you run away
In times of pleasure, you remain

We were born into selfishness
To love what loves us back
To neglect what needs our love
For when there is no return
There is no gain

I long the day love is unconditional
A day far from today
When one can be loved for the sake of love
Without owing love back
Lilac-scented winds
furtively creep through
the window, rhythmically
stroking the lily-white hair
that rests upon her hunched
shoulders.

Thin levees barricade
the emerging seas of salt
as the stationary clouds
dissipate from the
sapphire ice crystals that
encircle her inky
pupils.

Beneath her round,
brittle cheekbones
ancient ravines wind
downwards toward
her steep, narrow
chin, pointing at a
skeletal frame blanketed
in an off-white, floral gown.

Blotchy, autumn, amber
hands cradle the pudgy
infant’s limp body.  She
smiles as she presses her
chapped lips on the baby’s
smooth, plastic head.

She leans back in her
chair of solace, rocking
back-and-forth to the
pulsating tempo of her
heartbeat. Her world is
in perfect harmony.
The SAT's are now over,
And I study as best I can,
Despite my annoying learning disability,
I can say I tried.
But now there's the ACT,
And the finals and regents,
Along with maintaining my GPA,
And dealing with endless anxiety.
I've lost many things because I loved you,
But now I have to try and get them back
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