I am sadly not writing on this site anymore because all of my new poems including the called My Chosen Family will be on what is called Kindle Vella and also because I am now a published writer. All of my poems that are on here will stay on here for the rest of time. I will keep on reading the poems that everyone else writes as well as be available via messaging on this site.

Just want to let everyone know that I have a book filled with all except one of the poems on here. The Book is called Patient 139, I’m Not Okay (I Promise) And Other Poems and you can get it as either an ebook or a paperback on amazon.com or at the link https://www.amazon.com/Patient-Okay-Promise-Other-Poems/dp/B0B14GS6PV/ref=tmmpapswatch0?encoding=UTF8&qid=1655527690&sr=8-1

It's my two best friends

The ones I would drop everything for in a heartbeat

That I love to the moon and back

Who I'll always say "Friends Are The Family You Make"

That's two fun, loving & amazing guys

Who I consider both to be like brothers to me

That happens to be my two best friends

That is who my chosen family is

Dear Gerard,
Yes, that's your name now. You'll have to get used to it.
Now that's besides the point. There will be a very hard time in your life.
Where you feel like you're not like everyone else and try to be like them.
Just F-ing embrace it. Cause that's what makes you who you are.
There will be people at different times in your life that will try to make you bad.
But don't ever let The Light Behind Your Eyes fade because of them.
There will also be a time where your thoughts get the best of you.
That's when you'll find the sheriffs of emo town.
You'll also find Patrick Stump and all of Green Day.
Then, in about a year or so, you'll find something that you didn't know was missing.
which is the show Supernatural. All of which will save your life many times.
One thing I want you to never forget is ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING.
Oh, one last thing, try to have a good relationship with your mother.

I’m the one who walks a lonely road the only one I have ever known

With my own ST. JIMMY who I ask to GIVE ME NOVOCAINE

The one who gives me my novacaine, so I won't feel a thing

And be a 21ST CENTURY BREAKDOWN losing what's left of my mind

Just being one of THE FORGOTTEN inside someone’s memory

Always singing the punk SONG OF THE CENTURY

Wishing I wasn’t the song EXTRAORDINARY GIRL

Hoping that I’m not always ST. JIMMY THE AMERICAN IDIOT

PATIENT 139 sits in 4/4 time

Craving peace of mind and a pen

To be the lyric "Stick your pen right up your story"

while feeling LOWER THAN LOW

As well as a TOURIST in their own life

Just saying COUNSELOR could you help me out, My time's gonna run out

But what they finally realized is that they found a COUNSELOR who's a singer

As well as counseling that's pop/punk music

The COUNSELOR is TESS STEVENS and the counseling is HER MUSIC

When I WAS YOUNGER I COULDN'T WAIT FOR THE DAYS TO PASS

Because I'M JUST STUCK ON REPEAT

And now SOME DAYS I FEEL LIKE DYING

So SING US A SONG OF THE CENTURY

Because WE ARE THE KINGS AND THE QUEENS OF THE NEW BROKEN SCENE

Dear  Jared Padalecki,
Thank you for being the one who Crowley nicknamed Moose

The one who's character's brother is Dean Winchester and is also Castiel's as well

Who happens to be the one I try to be as a person

As well as your character Sam Winchester

Thank you for being one of the reasons I will "ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING"

Dear Jensen Ackles,
Thank you for being the man with the impala

The one who's character's brother is Sam Winchester and who Castiel's love interest is

Who happens to be the one I try to look like as a trans person

As well as your character Dean Winchester

Thank you for being one of the reasons I will "ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING"

Dear Misha Collins,
Thank you for being the angel in a trench coat

The one in love with Dean Winchester

Who happens to be the one I see myself in

As well as you and always will for all of time

Thank you for being one of the reasons I will "ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING"

There once was a hunter with a brother

Who was named Sam Winchester

His brother was Dean Winchester

Who he named his son after

While he finally lived a normal life

He's played by Jared Padalecki

There once was man who was a hunter

Who was named Dean Winchester

Who had a brother named Sam

That's been to both Hell and Purgatory

He'd in a heartbeat make a deal with a demon to save his family

Who's played by the actor Jensen Ackles

That is who the man with the impala is

There used to be an angel in a trench coat

His name was Castiel Novak

He was in his words "AN ANGEL OF THE LORD"

He's the reason I will "ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING"

He's played by the actor Misha Collins

Who besides Misha saved my life

Because of that I'll be forever grateful that I found Supernatural

That angel in a trench coat is also an angel with a shotgun filed with salt

That is who CASTIEL NOVAK is

There used to be two brothers who were hunters

Known to all even in Heaven and Hell as the Winchesters

Their names were Dean and Sam

Who was friends with an angel named Castiel

They fought so many things like demons and vampires

Their family’s motto is “saving people, hunting things, the family business"

With a fandom known as SPNFamily

Who consider themselves part of the Winchester family

That tells everyone to “Join The Hunt”

With actors who always tells them "ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING"

So that is what Supernatural is

Carry On…...

The WHITE VIOLIN who was a brother but never considered family

The one who was an outsider looking in from the cold outside

His powers are converting sound into energy

That is who number 7 is Victor Hargreeves

The HORROR who sadly died at such a young age

That never got to grow up with the rest

His powers are that he can summon tentacled monsters

That is who number 6 is Ben Hargreeves

The KID who lost everything he ever had

The one who was made into an assassin by The Commission

His power is teleportation through space and time

That is who number 5 is Five Hargreeves

The SÉANCE who's plagued with voices of the dead

Who fell in love with a soldier named Dave Katz who he lost

The one with a family who didn’t know he was missing

His powers are mediumship and evocation

That is who number 4 is Klaus Hargreeves

The RUMOR whos powers gave her everything that she wanted

The one who lost everything she's ever had because of the powers

Her power is mind control by lying

That is who number 3 is Allison Hargreeves

The KRAKEN who was never a child but always a weapon

The one who is considered second best and never quite enough

His powers are perfect aim and trajectory manipulation

That is who number 2 is Diego Hargreeves

The SPACEBOY who was sent to the moon for no reason

Whos father changed his body without thinking twice just to save his life

The one who still even after THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY tries to be the leader

His powers are super strength and ape-like physiology

That is who number one is Luther Hargreeves

Number 1
The SPACEBOY who was sent to the moon for no reason
His powers are super strength and ape-like physiology
That is who number one is Luther Hargreeves

Number 2
The KRAKEN who was never a child but always a weapon
His powers are  perfect aim and trajectory manipulation
That is who number 2 is Diego Hargreeves

Number 3
The RUMOR whos powers gave her everything that she wanted
Her powers is mind control by lying
That is who number 3 is Allison Hargreeves

Number 4
The SÉANCE who's plagued with voices of the dead
His powers are mediumship and evocation
That is who number 4 is Klaus Hargreeves

Number 5
The KID who lost everything he ever had
His powers is teleportation through space and time
That is who number 5 is Five Hargreeves

Number 6
The HORROR who sadly died at such a young age
His powers are that he can summon tentacled monsters
That is who number 6 is Ben Hargreeves

Number 7
The WHITE VIOLIN who was a brother but never considered family
His powers are converting sound into energy
That is who number 7 is Victor Hargreeves

On that day in 2021

I was scared to be an American

For days after I listened to Political Punk Rock

Made my drag some what political

Became a political punk

Decided to run for city council when I'm older

What happened that made me who I am politically

It was the capitol riot that happened on January 6th, 2021

It's the name of a girl that I once knew

Who I shared so many memories with

Had fun talking to during lunch and on the bus with

Someone who I hope good things come to

That I will surely miss and will try to keep being friends with

Someone who's friends with me except for the fact that I'm LGBTQIA+

A girl who I'll say thank you for being a friend to

I am a Non Binary PUNK REBEL

A person that's not afraid to wear a leather jacket that saids "Homophobia Is Gay'

A PUNK who's also GOTH, EMO and a METALHEAD

Who loves to write poetry about their mental health

That is going to be an English teacher one day

Who has their own poetry book out for the whole world to read

Waking up every day knowing  it’s not a mistake

Feeling like the world's on my shoulders

I'm living in a world where I have no friends

Just listening to the Emo Quartet all the time

Living my life like it's old times to some degree

Back when people where in a fringe state

But i'm trying to be Pete Wentz while looking like Patrick Stump

Cause i'm like a broken Emo Pop Punk cd stuck on repeat in 2007

I fall in love way to quickly

One too many times in my life

It’s always someone who’s taken  

Why is it always the best friend

That I want to be my lover

Wish they would try polyamory

But I can’t get myself to bring it up

So, I wind up Hopelessly Devoted to You

And a fool who’s head over heels in love

So why do I fall in love

Poetry is my life line

without it I wouldn't be alive

If I didn't have a teacher to tell me about some poets

I wouldn't have ever read their poems and found Sylvia Plath

a poet that understands me way more than I thought

Or Edgar Allan Poe who's poems I enjoy reading

If I never shared music books, and poems with a teacher I

Would't have even known he wrote poems.

If Doctor Who wasn't around when I was 6
I wouldn't have ever said "BOWTIES ARE COOL"

If Edgar Allan Poe wasn't a poet that I found when I was 16
I wouldn't have ever read and said "QUOTE THE RAVEN NEVERMORE"

If MrBeast wasn't a youtuber that I became a fan of when I was 17
I wouldn't have a group of people I consider friends

For years life was pretty normal

Wasn't worried about anything at all

had a notebook full of poems I was writing

Now there online for people to read

Never thought that they would ever be in a book one day

Now it takes me by surprise every time I think about it

Just thinking about how fast the Night Changes

Now everything that I've ever dreamed of becoming a reality

Two men started a YouTube channel

They called the channel Unus Annus

They were also the characters Unus and Annus

One year is all that they promised us

There was a clock counted down the days

The clock finally stopped and then we all did the same thing

What we all said was MEMENTO MORI

He's a straightedge vegan

That has tattoos for from his neck down

Who loves Star Wars and Doctor Who

Has been a drummer for many bands

Is currently the drummer for Fall Out Boy

My Celebrity Crush is Andy Hurley

The Perfect day is one where it's raining all day

Spent reading Edgar Allan Poe or listening to one of his poems

While writing poetry all day or night

Which is what I did while listening to said poet

As I thought about what a Raven once said

So "Quoth the Raven Nevermore.”

There's two people that will always stand out to me

Both of them are poets and writers

But one of them is also a chapter book writer

The other once said "NEVERMORE"

The other didn't but only read that quote

Now the only thing they both have in common with me is that they inspired me to write poetry

A band whos music saved me

That has band members that understand me

Who's lyrics get me through life

With songs that I'll always share with people

That has a lead singer who I'll always try to be like

That's What Fall Out Boy Means To Me

A night spent with a fandom family

At a place where you can be yourself

With bands that understand you

Where you can say Thnks Fr Th Mmrs afterwards

For them making you never feel like you're alone

Cause they made it feel like home at the show

That's What Hella Mega Tour Means To Me

Now there was a girl who's known as The Impossible Girl
Now the Doctor saw her though out all of time and space
When we first met her job was to be a governess
Now the mystery about her is why was  she there though all of time
When the doctor goes to Trenzalore
We find out why she's known as The Impossible Girl
The mystery about her is that she was born to save the Doctor
We find out when she saids 'I'm Clara Oswald. I'm The Impossible Girl. I Was Born To Save The Doctor."

The ones who accepts you for who you are no matter what

The ones who'll travel through all of time and space just to save you

The ones who'd do anything for you to be in their life

The ones who would do anything to see you smile

The ones who stayed up all night worrying cause they care about you

Their the ones who's family whether or not of it being a chosen one or by blood

Cause That's What Love Is

It doesn't mean freedom to all Americans

The ones who land was stolen from them
The ones that were slaves
The ones who experienced Manzanar
The ones whose refugees seeking freedom
The ones part of the LGBTQIA+ community

It only means freedom to people whos white

The ones whose a republican or conservative
The ones whose racist to non white people
The ones whose homophobic and transphobic
The ones whose anti LGBTQIA+

That's What The Fourth Of July Means

Shout out to the old me

The one who never quit being one of a kind

The one who spoke their mind all the time

The one who never gave up on their dreams

The one who wasn't afraid to be themself

The one who's an old soul and not scared of being one

The one who would never quit saying "I'm weird and proud of it"

The one who made mistakes and somehow never learned from them

So shout out to the old me

Some people came to the SAVANT's home for a dinner party at his new house
But what they didn't know is that night would be a night of LIFE or DEATH
All but the SAVANT, the JOURNALIST, and the BIG GAME HUNTER died

Then the SORCERESS possesses the SAVANT and has him write more invites
But this time to a Victorian Era ball that the SAVANT didn't know of
Just like last time the night was a night of LIFE or DEATH
This time everyone but the THESPIAN and the MYSTIC died
Even the SAVANT too but was brought back to life

This time the SAVANT asked a bunch of his youtuber friends
To help him save the town of Everlock that's stuck in the 1970s
Once again it was a night of LIFE or DEATH
This time the SAVANT is alive and made it out of the town
So is the DETECTIVE and the TROUBLEMAKER who's now part of the SOCIETY AGAINST EVIL
But the DETECTIVE was RESURRECTED by a magical harp

Now the SAVANT has to save his friends who have fallen in past eras
This was the final night of LIFE or DEATH
Most of his friends died a second time but all except one died before
Just like with the DETECTIVE being RESURRECTED so was the DUCHESS
The one that didn't die before but escaped the night was the P L A Y B O Y
But this time the SAVANT didn't make it out alive but was trapped in n Pandora's Box

The only guest to ESCAPE THE NIGHT were the JOURNALIST and the BIG GAME HUNTER the first time
The second time it was the THESPIAN and the MYSTIC only
The third time it was the DETECTIVE and the TROUBLEMAKER
The forth and final time it was the DUCHESS and the P L A Y B O Y

Ever since I started highschool music was and is my lifeline

It's what helped me get though it and manage life but with out Her music

I wouldn't be able to write poetry or even share it with people in my life

I didn't start writing poetry about my mental health until late one night

That almost fateful night that was until I couldn't get myself to almost be Hum Hallelujah

That night I was sitting on the floor listening to music

Then decided to listen to Her album Patient 139 and Her song Westwood on repeat

That's when I realized that I have can't give up on life now and not have a future

The one that saved my life is Tess Stevens and the song was Westwood

Some people think the kids are alright and never question it

Other think which is true is that the kids aren't alright

What people don't know is that I'm one of those kids that aren't alright

Fight and screaming with the inter demons more times than need be

Wishing I could get myself to quit saying I'm fine when I'm not

Finally talking about my mental health but in poetry

After finding and listening to Tess Stevens and her music

Now i'm learning to be okay with the fact that i'm one of the kids aren't alright

Which most people can't see me saying that one of them at all

The one who's Patient 139

A killjoy that's been to hell and back

Not afraid to keep on living

Not afraid walk this world alone

The one who's a drag king that slays

Who's the song I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

The one who considers singers, band members, and youtubers friends

That if I was on the show Escape The Night would be "The Poet"

Who to some degree understands Edgar Allan Poe's poems

And so that is who I am

I found them cause of music or YouTube

Some of them I knew who they were

But didn't care about them when I was younger

They're the ones who I say "Top Of The Morning To Ya Laddies" or "Where's The Black Smith" with

Or instead sing Oh Miss Believer or Thnks Fr Th Mmrs with

Most of them I consider my best friends

Some of them are Patrick, Pete, Joe, and Andy

Others are Jimmy, Chris, Chandler, and Karl

They're there for me when any actual people aren't

They're the ones who don't care about the fact that I'm LGBTQ+

They just see me as another human being that's a fan of their music or channel

I try to remind myself about the Fall Out Boy lyric "You Are What You Love Not Who Loves You"

And tell myself that I'll be like Frank Iero and JackSepticEye

Some of them are the reason why I'm going to be a youtuber

I ask myself all the time how in the world did they somehow wind up being someone I consider friends

Wishing that I wasn't Patient 139

The one screaming the lyrics to I'm Not Okay

Sometimes hopes that someone understands me

Relating to Tess Stevens and her song Tourist

Crying to Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)

Wondering if anyone has the time to listen to me whine

Trying to not do what Pete Wentz almost did in Hum Hallelujah

Thinking I'd just like to be only me and not also someone else every day

Asking myself why music is my novacane

Just wanting to know why most people don't care about me anymore

It's like every time I listen to music or watch YouTube I feel numb and I have gotten used to it

When it comes to my mental age I feel like the Clock Forgot It's Hands

In the end I'm the one who walks a lonely road the only one I have ever known

Now come one, come all to this tragic affair

That is My Chemical Romance

Who taught me to raise my voice every time they try and shut me up

They’re the ones that’s there for me through thick and thin

The ones that are killjoys out in the zones

That went to The Black Parade and said “we’ll carry on”

The ones that I named myself after

The ones that gave me courage to say “I am not afraid to keep on living” “I am not to walk this world alone”

The ones who I feel like understand me when they say “I’m Not Okay”

The ones who told me to “Give ‘Em Hell” and  “Hang ‘Em High”

The ones who inspired the Sheriff Of Emo Town Tess Stevens to write the album Patient 139

The ones who if I was a killjoy would think “The Only Hope For Me Is You”

The ones whose lead singer proved that he loves and supports all of the fans regardless

The ones who told me to “Look Alive Sunshine ”

The ones who inspire me to write this poem about them

The ones who said “so long and goodnight”

So that is what My Chemical Romance is to me

SHE screams in silence
Trying to figure out
If all of HER thoughts and doubts were HERS or not
SHE decided to be a king for a day
SHE figured out that SHE's a THEY and not a HE or SHE
Everyone thinks they’re not a real person cause of THEIR gender
Everybody tells THEM that they’re a SHE almost all the time
When anyone asked for THEIR name they expect to hear something feminine not masculine
They treat THEM like a lady and not as a man cause of the way THEY look
THEY don't miss it back when THEY were a SHE but THEY love it now
THEY know it's going to take time for everyone THEY love the whole world as well to accept THEM for who THEY are