I remember him.
Centuries and centuries ago
he seems so far away now
like the lost unbidden starlight
that wonders the universe with no where to go
and no other goals in mind
I see him as i speak and as i think of him
i picture him wandering a windy road
stopping and sitting and waving hello
his thoughts drag and float behind him
in a long long train of different colored silks
he still wears his sandals in winter time
i chew over what he meant to me before
like biting into old gum
that still has a little flavor in it
he sits there
watering his thoughts until they grow and grow into every planet
and every shape
so very very far away.
I wish someone would want all of me.
Instead of the bits and pieces they decided to cut out and frame.
I wish they saw what I see.
but they didn't see my sadness my failure or my shame.
I wish i could believe
if the day came
that what I see and what they saw
were one and the same.
this poem is a reflection of what I think of myself.
Love is vulnerable.
you extend yourself into
I look to you as you used to look
at me until
I have to stare at myself
I never let you see
those before you
Nor did you let me see
Ones before I
Maybe you shouldn't lie.
My walls were up around me
and covered with mirrors.
and your lies were arrows dipped in ink
splotching what I wanted to see in
I open up a crack
only to be hit
and hit in the eye
I closed the crack up
only to be blind
Today I remembered yesterday
and what I said about tomorrow
I looked up at my surroundings
I stared intensely at the dark
until the dark stared back
and I looked away
Tomorrow I will say something about
and today will be the same
I want to say something different
then I would today
but If I could do that
would be the same
"Only a fool trips on what is behind him"
And I am caught walking backwards.
If I should live another day
without another's essence
tis truly a day a waste
If I should roam
and roam again
until the day's end
I want another
another beside me
one to hold and
one to have
Listening and feeling
A day with another
is a day truly spent.
I will just sit here on my computer.
Clicking and typing and trying
to be clever.
I will just sit here on my bed
Breathing and blinking and trying
to go to sleep
I will just sit here in this life
Trying and living and wondering
what is to be
I will just be here in this moment
Living and breathing and loving
every second of existence.