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Jealousy, what a nasty thing. I was asked to describe it.
Jealousy is when another little girl takes your doll. It's the first time you have a crush, and you see another kiss him on the playground. It's when you look at the other girls and compare yourself. You simply cannot stand to be in your own skin. You want, no, need to be them, to be like them, to be with them.
Jealousy is when you're never quite good enough. There's always that smart kid that shows you up in class, always someone with better grades. When you were almost valedictorian, but someone else got it by one fourth of grade point.
It's when you fall in love and you watch them walk away. It's never enough. The summer before college and your high school sweet heart is going out of state for college, and so are you, but somewhere else. You never thought you could be jealous of place.
It's when you're with your friends and they don't listen to you talk, and they don't notice when you no longer talk. When you're the one alone on the side walk.
Jealousy is your heart, slowly turning dark as the happiness of other peoples' lives dance by, because for you, nothing was ever good enough. Not even yourself.
This might be prose.
 Feb 2015 Gemini moon
Nolithando
your words fall like rain from the sky and here i lay, patiently waiting for the first drop to splash my skin and absorb into my soul
 Feb 2015 Gemini moon
Nolithando
i thought i could love you as gently as rain falls to the earth
but my heart can only love in extremes, as fierce as a storm or not at all
***
You were my professor
and I was your flighty student
and you could never teach me to
think before I loved

You were always so serious
with your frowns
and your sad grey eyes
and I was a swirl
of dancing skirts
and little white lies

You talked with me
and you walked with me
for many winter-kissed miles
and when I felt you turn away
I tickled your hidden smiles

And I want you to know
you were my first place prize
 Feb 2015 Gemini moon
daisies
Lay with me now;
may we find relief in the silence of
our beating hearts,
and the chaos of
our writhing souls.

Lay with me now;
past midnight.
A constellation forming in your mind,
stars twinkling in your eyes;
showing its way right through.

Lay with me now;
and let our fingertips touch.
Let your passion of the world
overflow
into my hollow body.

Render me speechless by how you
know me too well by stating that
I want nothing more than
every part of your spirit
in full exposure.
 Feb 2015 Gemini moon
daisies
The girl with vintage dresses and flowers in her hair
is not as naive as you think she is.
With every toss of her satin-black locks,
she'll have you wrapped up around her finger.

The girl with red lipstick and flushed cheeks,
is not as shy as you think she is. 
She's disguising her thoughts; 
she's planning the entire universe in her head. 

The girl with a different book each day in her hand,
is already writing her own
with memories of those who have scarred her
and transformed her into 
the girl with vintage dresses and flowers in her hair
who now has the power to maneuver her way into your thoughts,
and **** you with nothing but a stare.
 Feb 2015 Gemini moon
daisies
Do not ***** over the flourishing flowers 
of those who surround you.
Do not form conspiracies,
not even to target your saboteurs.

For it has always been immanent--their loss.
And when the day comes--their loss--
you will be left with nothing to exult over.
You will be filled with vengeance 
against no one but yourself.

For memories of your deriding 
will be the ones to remain,
and all else will be in decadence.
You will have no time for your musings,
you will acquire no self-respect. 

The littlest of their littlest actions are bound to be missed--
their awkward laugh, their freckles, their drawn-out sighs--
as your own blooming flowers will disintegrate
into amber ashes of those lost souls
that will embed in your skull,
engulfing you in madness. 

So do not ***** over the flourishing flowers 
of those who surround you,
because even if their existence had ceased,
your self-worth will still not increase.
Be good.
 Feb 2015 Gemini moon
daisies
If evolution
is all that we think it is,
then why are the feelings
towards the one you love
a thing?

Or could it be
slowly killing those most vulnerable,
let alone the easily-wounded,
those effortlessly broken into mortal shards,
leaving the cold-hearted,
those with the walls far up too high to reach,
those immune to such torment?

Maybe evolution
is truly all that we think it is,
and perhaps I'll be gone
way too soon
for my liking.
I would give anything to fly.
No matter the cost?

The freedom of the sky is worth everything.
I could give you wings, little girl.

I'll give you whatever you want for them.
I want your soul.

It's a deal.*
You stupid girl, you've traded away your freedom for freedom.
You may have the sky, but you will never be free.
Your soul is mine,
and so, you belong to me.
Won't you come,
come dwell in the shadows?*
I've always found the night
to be far safer than day.
Live in the shadows,
embrace the darkness,
you needn't hide away
when the world is dark.
Dark is cozy and safe,
Sunlight is so harsh,
never gentle anymore.
Won't you come?
The shadows are so enticing.
Love in the darkness,
Where you will be safe.
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